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Janet Jackson’s love rules

By Michele Manelis

Since Janet Jackson first gained fame decades ago, she’s sold more than 100 million albums. But it certainly hasn’t been all glitz and glamour. Secretly married twice, she has also endured battles with her weight. These days, life couldn’t be better for Janet, who has been happily dating record producer Jermaine Dupri for years. Looking great and with a new album, Discipline, hitting the charts, Janet chats to us about ageing, and those rumours about her personal life.

You’re in your forties now. What’s good about ageing?

Getting wiser.

What have the years taught you about love?

I’ve learnt a lot more when it comes to love. A lot about communication and how important that is.

Is Jermaine always honest with you?

He’s completely honest with me, but in a very loving and kind way. He never hurts my feelings.

There is some confusion over your marital status.

[Laughs] I know! It’s not something I talk about but I’m not trying to hide anything — I just want to keep some things private. He’s my boyfriend.

So he’s not your husband?

No! [Laughs.] So far things have worked out great in this relationship and I’m very happy to have it. And Jermaine and I are a lot alike and I think that’s one of the main reasons why it works.

Do your similarities also cause the odd problem?

We have a lot in common and so far that hasn’t been bad. We’ve been together for six or seven years … it’s awful, I should know! He knows for sure [laughs]. I’m like the guy in the relationship — I’m forgetting all the dates, but he remembers!

You’ve written a book about your struggles with your weight. Why?

So many people stopped me and I thought, “Why don’t I just write a book?” And my nutritionist thought it would be a good idea. I have never in my life desired to be a size zero. I’ve always had my friends tell me, “OK, you might be [getting] too small”. I’m very hard on myself and I don’t see myself as other people do and so I say to them, “Tell me when I need to stop”. And a couple of times they say, “OK, you need to eat a sandwich now!”, and I know what that means.

Your new album is called Discipline. What does discipline mean to you?

It has different meanings for me. I think one of the most important is something that I’ve experienced since I was as a kid and that is my discipline in work. I’ve been surrounded by it since I was very young, since I was two years old.

You must have developed an incredible work ethic at a very young age.

I’ve subconsciously, not really knowing what it was but it was something that was genetic or something that was learned — picking it up and by the time I was seven years old I had that kind of discipline. I would get myself ready for our performances. Just a seven-year-old kid and I would do my own hair and that is a lot of responsibility and by the time I was 10 years old I would see myself off to work. I would set my alarm, get up at 5 or 5.30 in the morning to be on set by 7.30/8.00 and just having that focus and being so young and having that focus, I think there’s really a lot to say for that and I’m that focused to this day.

What kinds of things did you miss out on as a kid because of your singing career?

I love amusement parks and I love being silly, I love playing games. I love a great laugh. I’ll gravitate toward watching a comedy over something that’s more dramatic, like my latest favourite comedy movie has been Superbad. I’ve seen it so many times. I think I gravitate towards those things because I missed out on a lot of it when I was growing up.

Looking back on your childhood now, do you feel as though you missed out on anything?

I did. You miss out on a part of your childhood but I had more of a childhood than some of my other brothers and sisters so I thought, ‘Who am I to complain about it?’ I guess it’s still why I’m a big kid to this day and why I love such childish things.

The album contains some fairly explicit lyrics, yet you’ve described yourself as a shy person.

A lot of people have said that to me or they say, ‘When I look at you right now you seem so wholesome and I listen to your music and it’s completely different.’ But I think we have different sides to us. You never really know what’s inside of a person — what’s really going on.

Is it fun to embrace the sexual side of yourself through your music?

Yeah, it is fun.

Do you think people might think the title of your new album is referring to S and M?

Well, yes, I think that’s where people’s minds might go to, but there are lots of other ways to be disciplined. It might ruffle a few feathers, yeah.

Are you close to all of your nieces and nephews?

Oh yeah. They all call me ‘the cool aunt’. One of my nephews was just texting me today, actually. I like the title and I guess that’s what I am. I’m the only one with tattoos (laughs).

How do you know that?

[Laughs]. We share stuff like that. I’m the rebel — myself and my brother Randy are considered the rebellious ones.

How have you managed to keep your feet on the ground all these years?

That’s because of my parents. That’s where that started from and I think it needs to start from the very beginning. It has to start at home. We had a lot of chores to do when we were kids, regardless of the success we had, we worked at home. We had housekeepers and housemen and things like that but my parents made sure we worked and that helped to keep us grounded and taught us how to do everything — if we ever need to fend for ourselves we wouldn’t need to lean on anyone else’s shoulder for it. I’ve carried that with me and for myself another thing that’s very important are my friends. The people that I surround myself with, and I love them dearly, they’ve been friends for a very long time — some from school but one of the most important things, including my boyfriend, Jermaine, even in the very beginning of our relationship is that he’s not afraid to tell me ‘That’s not right,’ or ‘Don’t do that,’ or ‘You’re wrong about that,’ or ‘That wasn’t very kind what you just said or did.’ That’s what I’m getting at — people who are not afraid to confront you with something. I think when you’re in this business you get to a certain level and people are afraid you won’t like them anymore so they’re afraid to tell you no. That you may drop them as a friend and that’s one of the things that I absolutely love about my friendships with all my friends — they’re not afraid to tell me no. I cherish that. There are so many ‘Yes’ people around you and being in the business and you get to a certain level and become successful people are really afraid to tell you how they really feel.

Some of them are probably scared they’d lose their jobs.

I’ve heard a lot of them would lose their jobs but my friends don’t have jobs with me. And at the same time the people I do work with, I will even put myself in check with them and say, ‘Please tell me. Am I right or am I wrong about this?’ If this is not right, show me what I’m doing wrong because it seems right to me. And they’ll say yes you are right or no that’s completely wrong. And they’ll tell me why and I appreciate that but I ask for that and they give it to me.

Any standout memories from when you last visited Australia?

Just loving it and it’s been over 10 years since I was there, maybe 13 or 14. I’ve wanted to go back ever since and we have to go back this time with the tour. I spent time with the aborigines and I enjoyed that so much, I loved it. I played a didgeridoo and they gave me one and I really had such a great time. Such a great time and it’s such a beautiful place.

Are you more open about things these days?

I’ve always been very open but I was … way too giving of myself, to be very frank with you, way too giving of myself in the past. And they’ve mistaken my kindness for weakness and you get walked over and get taken advantage of and not respected. You figure out, where did I go wrong, what did I do wrong? And it was just out of pure love. When I love, my friends tell me, I love very hard and I give all of me. They say, that’s fine for me to give all of you but don’t give it so quickly!

Tell us more about what inspired you to write a book about losing weight.

So many people stopped me wherever I was … and asked me how did I do it. They read an article in the magazine on the weight loss and I guess they saw the tabloid photos when I was heavy — and they wanted to know how I did it. So being this idea and me saying, “yeah this is something I should do”, and people stopping me all the time, I thought this is the perfect thing to do. It’s really about my journey through weight loss — my ups and my downs. What triggered it — being an emotional eater, certain things in my life, the connections and certain points in my life, valleys or lows in my life that triggered certain things and how things can possibly effect you when you’re a kid — all of that. And another part of the book will be how I did it and what it took for me to get down in size. So, hopefully, that’s what works for me. That’s what worked for me and hopefully if anyone else might feel that it would be safe for them to try might give it a go — speak to the doctor about it and giving it a try.

What’s your view on the type of celebrities who make a sex video and all of a sudden seem to have a career in entertainment?

It is what it really is. Everything changes. The world is evolving and I think that’s another thing that is different about the world in this day and age. You don’t necessarily have to be a singer or an actress or a dancer to be successful and have a lot of attention. It doesn’t bother me or annoy me. It’s just the way the world is today.

Discipline (Universal Music) is available in record stores from February 23.

Read more celebrity stories in Woman’s Day (on-sale February 18, 2008)

Your say: Janet Jackson: role-model or disaster celeb?

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