Well-loved Australian comedian and mother of five Fiona O’Loughlin has opened up her struggles with alcoholism and attempting suicide.
In a revealing interview on ABC’s Australian Story, Fiona O’Loughlin has revealed she checked into a hotel room under a false name with the intention of committing suicide – but was saved by her daughter.
“I had gone missing and she (her youngest daughter Mary) just went to the hotel and asked for me and they said, ‘No, she’s not here’,” said Fiona.
“Mary just knew in her heart that I was there and she would not leave. She described what I looked like and sure enough I was there.”
Fiona didn’t take to the stand-up comedy scene until she was 36, but thanks to her warm self-deprecating demeanour with many jokes about her five kids and her home life in Alice Springs, her career soon took off with gusto. Unfortunately though, so did her drinking.
Fiona revealed that she was terrified of ever performing on stage without the “courage” of a two mini-bottles of Vodka under her belt.
“The problem was with those two little vodkas — if you’re an alcoholic you put that in … and your body aches and screams for more.”
“You know I fought it off nine times out of 10 but about every 10th time it would beat me. I was the weaker and I’d go on a bender, you know … back we go to square one.”
While Fiona has been open about her problems with drinking for years – mining it for on-stage material, things turned from laughter to darkness when she actually blacked out on stage at a 2009 performance at the Queensland Performing Arts Centre in Brisbane.
It has come at a cost too. Fiona felt that in order to give up her old life of hard-drinking, the only way that she could do it was to pack up and leave behind her marriage the life that she lead with her family in Alice Springs.
In 2012, Fiona did just that, separating from her husband Chris and leaving her home in Alice Springs behind. She says that she still loves him very much but that she didn’t regret leaving her life behind as she felt that it was something that she had to do in order to start again.
Related: Fiona O’Loughlin’s drinking shame: ‘I thought I needed a double vodka to be funny’
Things are now looking up for Fiona, as she has now been sober for one year and is currently living in Melbourne with her two youngest children.
“When I got to a year it was just so exciting because now I understand my audience is so much safer,” she said.
“I go out of my way never to have a drink before a show like I’ve never done before.”
“This past year’s just been the joy of joys because you’re suddenly so in control and having that universe let me know that I wasn’t a fake.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
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