An emotional Caitlyn Jenner has confessed she seriously thought about ending it all when she was going through her transition.
The reality TV star addressed her struggles when she sat down for an interview with Bill Simmons on his show Any Given Wednesday.
Caitlyn said she always hated her Adam’s apple and had a procedure to have it shaved.
The 66-year-old says when word of her operation got out, she was extremely distressed.
“I could not sleep that night,” she confessed.
“I’m up at 3am. walking up and down my hallway, thinking, ‘Damn, all this s–t is going to come out tomorrow and it’s going to be horrible’,” she recounted.
“And I said, ‘You know what? Easy way. Go in the other room. You got a gun. Let’s just end it right here.'”
The I Am Cait star admitted she had told family and friends about the moment, which she says was one of the worst in her life.
Watch Caitlyn talk about how joyous her life has become since going public with her transition in the clip below. Post continues.
She continued: “That’s, like, the easy way out. No more pain, no more nothing. I don’t have to deal with the tabloids any longer,” she said. “I don’t have to deal with any of this. And that was probably the lowest I’ve ever gotten.”
Caitlyn says it was only when she awoke the next morning and went for a walk to clear her head that everything fell into place.
She thought about the her almost-actions of the night before. “Wasn’t that, like, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?” she said to herself at the time.
“I thought, ‘What a terrible way to end your life’s story!’ I don’t want my story to end that way, on a negative note,” she said.
“That was the beginning of me turning my thinking around to say, ‘OK, I think I can do this.'”
If you, or anybody you know needs support or information about suicide prevention contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit Beyond Blue