Somehow, every story written about Mariah Carey is instantly iconic.
Even, or maybe especially, without context, headlines written about the singer are the stuff of dreams.
Ever since I read that she hired someone to walk backwards in front of her in case she fell, I’ve made it my life motto to constantly ask myself:
What would Mariah do?
So have a peek at some of her most legendary headlines to give you a little more direction when making important life decisions.
Disclaimer: In no way should you take any of these headlines as gospel – just pop on We Belong Together and bask in the glory that is Mariah Carey.
This is essentially like telling everyone to dress in white, then dressing in a loud colour so you can stand out all night. (But this is 1000x better.)
Can we also demand an inconvenience fee when we go through a break-up? Mine would only amount to a couple of Big Macs, but the premise is sound.
I like when headlines liken Mariah to the everyman.
In the real world, this would be when you give your kids $10 to buy your Christmas present, except you just get a candle from the dollar store and realise they spent the rest on lollies for themselves.
The photo of Mariah wearing a leopard bustier and white diamonds is great, but honestly the headline alone is iconic.
Queen of the Dead Sea.
Can you confirm, Us Weekly?
The headline is so Mariah I’m not even shocked by it, but then the quote from Nick Cannon – which is said without a hint of irony – really takes it across the line.
It’s either this or risk stacking it in front of a huge group of paparazzi so…
A TV host revealed that Mariah needed “two people to lower her on to the GMTV sofa, in case her dress got crushed” which seems reasonable seeing as I need an entire army to stop me dropping food on my shirt whenever I wear white.
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