TRIGGER WARNING: This article discusses abuse, eating disorders and suicide. If you or someone you know has been affected by the issues raised in this article, help is always available. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
With the revelations that she suffered years of terrible abuse at the hands of her father Damir Dokic out in the open after the release of her first explosive memoir, Jelena Dokic finally felt healed enough to plan her own beautiful future.
She had rebuilt the $10 million fortune she claims her father took from her, thanks to a new tennis career coaching and commentating, and was in a happy long-term relationship with the man she credits with saving her life.
That all came crashing down two days before Christmas in 2021, when her partner of 19 years, Tin Bikic, told her over the phone, โYes, we are done,โ after they spent five months apart when he went home to Serbia and never returned to Australia.
โItโs been two years now and I struggled with that at the beginning, it was a shock, thereโs no doubt about that,โ Jelena, 40, told Womanโs Day on the eve of the release of her memoir, Fearless: Finding The Power To Thrive, which she wrote with journalist Jessica Halloran.
โIโm in a great place now and again I think, like a lot of my experiences in my life, getting help has really helped with that. Itโs the first time ever Iโve had to deal with that situation. It will stay with me forever, itโs such a big part of my life.โ
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Jelena and her father who was also her tennis coach. (Credit: Supplied)
โI think the world of him. Iโm still figuring out what my future looks like. I love living alone. Iโve never lived alone and it was an adjustment but I now love it and I have so many great things to focus on. We will see what happens in the future.โ
โDo I still believe in love and always will? Absolutely, so we will see what the future brings. We talk here and there. We support each other and have a little bit of contact. Regardless of what happens we will always have love and respect for each other.โ
Tin was the person who helped her recover after she left her father and the family home in Croatia, broke and with just a suitcase and a tennis racquet.
Jelena says her father Damir forced her to sign over โmillionsโ of dollars when she was just 19 years old.
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Jelena started playing when she was just six. (Credit: Getty)
Becoming a mum
Tin was also the man Jelena planned to spend the rest of her life with, revealing, โWe were going to have kids,โ before the shock split, so she never even considered freezing her eggs as an insurance policy for motherhood.
โItโs something Iโve thought long and hard about, and maybe that situation or kids will not happen for me and thatโs OK. Iโve kind of, to be honest, made peace with that,โ she says.
โBut also for me if I do have kids โ and I do actually want to have kids because I love kids โ Iโm going to go the adoption route. Iโve always wanted to do that, regardless of whether I have my own kids.โ
โI think there are a lot of unfortunate little kids out there who do need love and a stable home and I think I can provide that even if Iโm on my own. Itโs something Iโm thinking of doing and itโs something I think I might do in the next three to five years.โ
In her second book, Jelena once again opened up about her extraordinary life following the revelations of terrible beatings and psychological and emotional abuse she shared with the world in her first memoir, Unbreakable, which she released in 2017.
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Jelena and Tim broke up in 2021 (Credit: Getty)
โTo anyone struggling in your life, this book is for you,โ she wrote in the foreword to Fearless, which documents what Jelena describes as a life spent in constant fear, with daily threats from Damir on top of beatings so severe that he hit her with a belt until she bled or was unconscious.
The abuse, which began when she was just six years old and starting to learn tennis, left her suicidal.
Damirโs tyrannical regime, that included denying Jelena food and water for days as a punishment for not playing well enough, left her with a severe binge eating disorder.
โI am not fully healed. I have not fully recovered. I am a work in progress. But I am a fighter,โ she says in Fearless, in which she also reveals that she has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety and PTSD.
The scars are still there.
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Jelena Dokicโs book Fearless came out on the 12th of September 2023. (Credit: Viking)
She recently caught up with her brother Savo and mum Ljiljana Dokic on a holiday to Croatia, but hasnโt forgiven her mother for turning a blind eye to the abuse that many suspected was happening when former world No. 4 Jelena was playing grand slams around the world.
โWeโve had some tough conversations and Iโm glad at this stage of my life we can now have a good relationship and we can talk and I can visit after all of those years,โ Jelena says.
โShe knew a lot more and understood a lot more after she read my first book โ how things were for me and how I felt. Just having those conversations, and even her being apologeticโฆ I do appreciate that and itโs enough for me to kind of have a good relationship moving forward.โ
Finding Peace
โI believe in acceptance. I think forgiveness is great, but not everyone can do that. I think that acceptance is a big part of it, and absolutely of course she knew, and she kind of had her own reasons. Still though, certain things are very hard for me to deal with and accept her role with everything.โ
โIโm happy with where we are now.โ
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She is now a champion for body positivity. (Credit: Getty)
The one person she will never forgive or accept back into her life is her father and coach Damir.
โWe havenโt been [in contact] for a very long time. I donโt see that changing or that relationship changing. It is very hard to have a relationship with someone who has no remorse or canโt even say sorry.โ
A brave Jelena continued, โHeโs just not capable of having good relationships. I donโt think I would be able to move on or heal if I was still holding onto that, or trying to have a relationship with anybody who was bringing that toxicity into my life.โ
Despite years of heartache, Jelena hasnโt given up on love or finding a partner to share her life with.
โI do believe in love but Iโm someone who is a little bit more of an introvert and a little bit shy,โ she said.
โItโs not something Iโm ready to do at the moment. I believe in love but I donโt think Iโm ready for that just yet.โ