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Moral hazard

Less than 30 minutes

Exclusive extract from The Australian Women’s Weekly Book of the Month for May.

Chapter 1, Moral Hazard by Kate Jennings (Picador $28):

How would you have me write it? Bloody awful, all of it.

I will tell my story as straight as I can, as straight as anyone’s crooked recollections allow. I will tell it in my own voice, although treating myself as another, observed, appeals. If I can, no jokes or jibes, no persiflage-my preferred defenses. I’d rather eat garden worms than be earnest or serious. Or sentimental.

I recount the events of those years with great reluctance. Not because you might think less of me- there is always that. No, the reason is a rule I try to follow, summed up by Ellen Burstyn in the movie Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore: “Don’t look back. You’ll turn into a pillar of shit.”

See? I can’t help it. Wisecracking-a reflex. I’ve lived in New York for several decades, but I was born in Australia, where the fine art of undercutting ourselves- and others- is learned along with our ABCs. Australians- clowns, debunkers.

I have to start somewhere so it might as well be with Mike.

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Eat the right protein

Beans may be better than meat when it comes to maintaining strong bones, according to researchers at the University of California in San Francisco. They found that elderly women who consume more animal protein than vegetable protein usually experience more hip fractures and bone loss.

Researchers hypothesise that when the body digests animal protein it releases high levels of acid into the bloodstream. Normally the kidneys neutralise this acid, but as they weaken with age, the body takes acid-neutralising substances from the bones instead. Vegetable protein, on the other hand, produces less acidity and therefore may cause less depletion.

This does not mean you have to stop eating meat and dairy entirely – just that it may be wise to cut back and focus on getting more protein from vegetables, like chickpeas and lima beans.

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Don’t let things fester

Don’t let things fester

Sticks and stones can break your bones, but harsh words can hurt even more. Research shows that arguing with your nearest and dearest makes you more vulnerable to a range of viral infections and lowers your immune system. Most pointedly, women showed more damage than men, presumably because they are also very good at stashing resentments and worries away to brood about later. So, when a major problem looms, take steps to handle it then and there:

  • Know the right time to talk about it: People tend to talk about their problems with money, their sex life, their children and their future when they’re in a bad mood – which can make everything seem far worse than it is. If you plan to talk when you’re feeling calm and well, however, the problem can look quite different.

  • Get emotional If you think you’ve got due cause, allow yourself to get good and angry first of all. Repress your feelings, and you’re just heading for more difficulties.

  • Take time to cool off: Your first reaction might be, “I’m fed up with you – I’m leaving”. But, before you say anything you might regret, you need to work out if the relationship is worth saving.

  • Listen: You need to hear from the other person their perspective about what led to the problem – then you can plan what to do, hopefully together.

  • Don’t forgive too easily: The other person must prove they want things to change, too, otherwise you’re setting yourself up as a doormat.

  • Move on: Work out what went wrong, lay the past to rest, and start again.

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Stress release

Just slow down

Lewis Carroll put the feeling of spinning chaos that comes from go-go-going too fast in a nutshell when he wrote of “life becoming a spasm and history a whiz”. Sometimes you spend days just rushing from one meeting or task to the next, but no matter how hard you push yourself, you still end up feeling as if you haven’t accomplished anything. As an experiment, see if you can make a conscious effort to slow down – both your thinking and your actions. If you do this, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to discover that, despite your slower speed, you will become far more effective, as well as more relaxed. Try these tips when things get out of control:

  • Desert a crisis A quick and easy way to clear your head during stressful periods is to physically remove yourself. Take yourself away from the problem environment – your house, or your office, for instance – and walk around for at least five minutes.

  • Drop everything Occasionally allow yourself to do absolutely nothing. Zero. Zilch. Discard your to-do list, put away your plans, and forget about the news. Instead, look out the window and watch the world go by, or stretch out on your bed and daydream.

  • Relish your privacy Consider these exquisitely wise words from Chinese philosopher La-tzu: “Just remain in the centre, watching. And then forget that you are there.” Take time to just be. Cutting yourself off from the world not only relaxes you, it can help you to achieve inner peace and enable you to clear your head for solving any unresolved work or emotional problems. The next time you are given a few delicious free moments – you get off work a little earlier than usual, you’re alone in the house for an hour before the kids come home, you’ve got 30 minutes before a meeting – try not to immediately fill it with crossing things off your to-do list. Simply stop.

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Tartan rug

The ideal picnic rug or a warm cover to wrap yourself into this winter. Our popular tartan rug is a classic that’s perfect for all seasons.

Materials. Patons Tasman 8ply (100g) or any 8ply yarn; 4 balls red, 4 balls bottle green; 1 ball yellow; 1 ball white. One 3.50mm (No 9) crochet hook and one 5mm (No 6) crochet hook. Wool needle.

Finished size. Approximately 124cm square.

Tension. 10 sts (1tr, 1ch) and 10 rows to 10cm, using 3.50mm hook.

Abbreviations.Ch: chain; cont: continue; dc: double crochet; rep: repeat; sp/s: space/s; st/s: stitch/es; tr: treble.

Note. 3ch at beg of row stands for 1tr.

Rug

Using red and 3.50mm hook, make 252ch.

Row 1. Miss 5ch, 1tr in next ch, 1ch, miss 1ch, 1tr in next ch; rep from to end … 124 sps.

Row 2. 4ch, 1tr in next tr, 1ch; rep from to end, 1tr in 2nd turning ch.

Rep row 2, working 6 rows more in red, 1 row yellow, 2 rows green, 2 rows red, 2 rows green, 1 row yellow, 8 rows red, 1 row white, 9 rows green, 1 row yellow, 1 row green, 2 rows yellow, 1 row green, 1 row yellow, 9 rows green, 1 row white, 8 rows red; rep from once more, then work 1 row yellow, 2 rows green, 2 rows red, 2 rows green, 1 row yellow, 8 rows red … 124 rows.

Fasten off.

Weaving Chains

Using red and 3.50mm hook, make a 153cm-long length of chain, leaving 5cm of yarn at each end for darning in (the chain should be long enough to weave through sps without being too tight).

Fasten off.

Using red, make 53 chains more … 54 chains.

Using green, make 52 chains.

Using yellow, make 14 chains,

Using white, make 4 chains.

Mark the centre row of tr on Rug and weave a red chain vertically on each side of this row.

Cont to one side weaving a green chain in each of next 2 rows, then 1 yellow, 8 red, 1 white, 9 green, 1 yellow, 1 green, 2 yellow, 1 green, 1 yellow, 2 green, 2 red, 2 green, 1 yellow and 8 red.

Rep on other side of rug, weaving chains to correspond.

Darn in all ends and trim neatly.

Edging

Row 1. Using red and 5mm hook, work a row of dc evenly around rug, working 3dc in each corner.

Row 2. 1dc in each dc around, working 2dc in each 3dc corner.

Fasten off.

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Tassels and tiebacks

Add the finishing touch to curtains and cushions with our easy-to-make tassels. They have been designed so everyone can make them, even at the first attempt.

Gold Tassels

(Makes 2)

Materials

2 plastic curtain rod ends

Gold spray paint

30cm narrow gold cord

Sharp scissors or craft knife

60cm x 16cm fringing

Clear tape

Tacky craft glue

Step 1

Using scissors or a craft knife, cut the pointed end from the curtain rod ends to form a hole. Spray the curtain ends with two or three coats of gold paint, allowing it to dry between applications.

Step 2

Cut gold cord to form the tassel loop. Wind tape around each end to prevent fraying, then push both ends through the curtain rod end. Tape cord ends together and pull up inside curtain rod end.

Step 3

Roll up the fringing, keeping the top end aligned, to form a tassel. Tape the end of the fringing to secure. Push the tassel inside the rod end and glue in place.

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April 2002 book gossip

One of Australia’s most famous – and best loved – entertainers, Olivia Newton John has signed up with Pan Macmillan. The major publishing coup follows months of negotiations with the star of Grease whose string of hit songs include Let’s Get Physical and If Not For You. Her memoirs, titled It’s A Charmed Life, will be released in October and the US based star will promote the book with a major tour of Australia. Expect a big song and dance.

In another coup, Pan Macmillan has signed up Kerry and Kay Danes, the Australian couple who made the headlines after being arrested and imprisoned in Laos for alleged gem smuggling. Apparently the story behind the headlines reads like a contemporary thriller and the book will be a real nail biter.

Random is bringing TV’s ‘The Nanny,’ Fran Drescher, to Australia in June for the launch of her book, Cancer Schmancer. Same month will see Oprah’s Chef, Rosie Daley touring here to promote her latest book, The Healthy Kitchen (Random). And fans of Kathy Reichs, forensic anthropologist and crime writing super-star, will be thrilled to know she is coming to Australia in September. Her appearances are yet to be announced, but Random says Reichs will tour Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane and Perth. Her first Temperance Brennan novel was the best selling Deja Dead. Her most recent page turner, Fatal Voyage, was released earlier this year.

Her actual name is Franklin Birkinshaw, but you would know her better as Fay Weldon and she too is coming here as a star of The Sydney Writers Festival which is being held from May 27 to June 2. The British born author who spent much of her early life growing up in New Zealand, will be talking about her soon to be released autobiography, proofs of which have been held up by the lawyers – so it must be spicy. Fay will appear at a function at the Sydney Town Hall on the evening of Friday May 31. (For further information telephone 02 9566 4809). Another big star author attending the festival is Jodi Picault, whose terrific legal thrillers have earned her a big following here.

On the subject of lawyers and delays, whispers that Paul Keating’s much anticipated biography is being very carefully checked by the legal eagles, has caused a frisson of excitement. Ghost-written by his former speech writer, Don Watson, the book is due for release in May (Random) and the rumoured title is, wait for it -‘Confessions of a Bleeding Heart.’

From the US comes news of a book of essays and reminiscences about her life and career by Emmy award winning actress Patricia Heaton, currently starring as the put upon wife, Debra, in the hit TV show Everybody Loves Raymond. Tentatively titled Motherhood and Hollywood, it will consist of “funny and charming stories” about her Tinsel Town experiences and her personal life.

A huge publishing deal has been signed with singer, song-writer, Sting, for his memoirs. A man whose career in music has spanned 25 years and crossed over to acting – he’s just been nominated for an Academy award – must have an extraordinary tale to tell. Simon & Schuster certainly think so. They won the rights to Sting’s book at one of the biggest auctions of the year.

According to Publishers Weekly, “an unprecedented ten bidders” vied for the rights to a collection of short stories by “first time Australian author John Murray.” He is “a doctor residing in the US,” and HarperCollins will be publishing his book called A Few Notes on Tropical Butterflies. Other than that, we’ve never heard of him.

For those who missed the intriguing report in The Australian newspaper (Thursday March 7): The folk from a German town called Lohr are claiming Snow White, the fairy tale heroine created by the Grimm Brothers, was based on a local, one Maria Sophia Margaretha Catherina von Erthal who according to town hall records, was born in 1729 and grew up in a magnificent castle, now a museum, which contains a “talking,” mirror – an acoustic toy very popular in the 18th century. So there.

Publishers Weekly reports that famous author, Jean Auel, has broken a 12 year silence to publish Shelters of Stone, the fifth novel in the Earth Children series about prehistoric life which began more than 20 years ago with Clan of the Cave Bear. The previous four books sold more than 34 million copies in 26 languages world-wide and this is expected to be one of the biggest books of the US summer season.

Bookseller reports that Penguin Putnam has won the battle for the diaries of the late rock star Kurt Kobain. The deal between Cobain’s estate, controlled by his widow Courtney Love and the publisher has been criticised by fans angry at the way Love exploits Cobain’s legacy.

Despite talk of recessions and set-backs connected with world events, the book business in Australia is alive and well. For the year 1999 to 2000, The Australian Bureau of Statistics report that a whopping 126.1 million books were sold. Actor , alias Jim Royle in ABC-TV sitcom The Royle Family (10.30pm Friday), has signed up his autobiography for a large six figure sum because of his colourful background, which includes a stint in prison.

Speaking of crime, an Australian writer has been short-listed for the prestigious 2002 Los Angeles Times Book Prize. Marshall Browne, author of The Wooden Leg of Inspector Anders (Duffy & Snellgrove), is one of five finalists in the category of Mystery/Thriller writing. The same book won the Ned Kelly Award for best Australian first crime novel of 2000. Judging will be on Saturday April 27. Browne’s next novel, The Eye of the Abyss, is out in August.

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April 2002 reviews

When The Snowgums Dance

by Anne Rennie (Simon & Schuster $17.95)

“To be kissed beneath the snowgums is to receive love at its most pure and its most devlish, and only immeasurable sacrifice can bring peace to the lovers,” is the legend that haunts this pacy love story. Set mostly on the crystalline slopes here and overseas, the story is told through the eyes of Kylie Harris, who when you first meet her is an awkward, love-struck 17 year old with a lot of gumption. Spirited and moving.

I Kept On Dancing

by Olga Geddes (New Holland $24.95) With Anzac Day in mind, you might be in the mood for this unusual war story, which is told through the eyes of a young woman who survives Nazi Germany, the loss of her home, her job and the man she loves, with the help of art, in her case, a passion for dance and music. A fascinating account of a singular journey that leads the writer, ultimately to Australia, freedom and a measure of inner peace.

Skin Deep

by Cathy Cole (Pan Macmillan)

A flinty whodunnit, set in the inner-city where life without a good cappuccino is hardly worth living. The heroine is private investigator, the sharp and sassy Nicola Sharpe who has no time for fools but a real tender spot for her good old Dad who is refreshingly ordinary. Addictive for its local feel and suspenseful plot and just the right weight to carry on a bus or train.

Crow Lake

by Mary Lawson (Random House $29.95)

Slow-burning but quietly hypnotic story about families. Just like real life, nothing turns out the way you think it will. The “I” in the book is now a city slicker who grew up on an isolated farm in Northern Ontario. She’s travelled a long way, but her life is still complicated by her history and her inability to accept the good luck she had in escaping it. It’s emotional but never depressing, with trauma, tragedy and misunderstandings swirling about like undercurrents. You’ll love it.

Crime of Silence

by Patricia Carlon (Text Publishing $27.50)

An intriguing thriller with a knockout ending. When his child is kidnapped, his father, a Brisbane journalist, contacts a wealthy family to whom the same thing happened a year or two earlier. They paid the ransom, redeemed their child and stayed clear of the law. Can this happen again and will the family help? Loads of tension, plenty of mistakes and a murder will keep you gripped until the very last page.

Satellite Sisters

by Lian, Sheila, Monica, Julie and Liz Dolan (Penguin $22)

Good girly exchange of ideas between five feisty sisters who live on two continents, in four cities and have their own nationally syndicated radio show. More a dip into book than a straight read, but the ideas and stories about their real lives are as addictive as a good gossip over coffee with friends. Covers fashion, food, kids and the kitchen and all points in between. Good fun.

Travel

Did you know that ‘gula’ is sugar in Indonesia? That ‘lukumi’ or quinces are a common fruit in Greece? Or that alcohol is the ‘social lubricant’ that dissolves the strictures of rule-bound Japanese society? These are some of the tips from the lonely planet World Food series, companion books for travellers who are foodies or nervous nellies who worry about their stomach, especially in foreign climes. Latest in the series are guides to Greece, Japan and Indonesia, each containing information about the culture of the cuisine, staples and specialities, drinks, home cooking, pointers on local menus, shopping and markets, what’s best for the children, if you’re travelling with them – and heaps more. The World Food series, published by lonely planet @ $19.80

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Sarah Turnbull q&a

Almost French by Sarah Turnbull (Random House $22.92) is the Book Of The Month in The Australian Women’s Weekly, April issue. It is a vivid, funny, sometimes teary account of the adventures of an Australian who falls in love with a Frenchman and goes to live in Paris.

Q What made you write this book? A I had the idea for quite a while, before I did anything about it. In the first place it was friends and family – every time I came back to Australia, I’d tell them stories about things that had happened in Paris and they’d say you should write a book about that! But when it comes from people like that, who are close to you, you go ‘oh yeah!’ But you don’t take them seriously.

I guess I started seriously thinking about it after I went to W.H. Smith, the English bookshop in Paris and bought a lot of books on France. I suppose I was not so keen on writing the book in the first place because I thought there were already a lot of books about France – is there anything more to say? Only when I started reading these other books did I come around to the idea that ‘yes,’ there is room for writing something a bit fresh, a bit different without it being ‘quaint,’ because I don’t think life in Paris or France is necessarily ‘quaint.’ It’s fascinating and it’s many wonderful things.

I think that changed how I perceived the book. I became more confident about the idea after I’d bought half the stock at W.H. Smith! I started believing in it then.

Q Were there many books by foreigners living in France? A In the genre, Under The Tuscan Sun comes to mind, and then of course there was the book on Provence by Peter Mayle…I don’t think there have been that many by someone actually living in France or Paris. I think a lot of them have retired and bought a house that they do up. There’s quite a bit of that genre.

I guess I always felt one of my strengths was Fred. Having a French partner which gave me an insight into the whole French side of things, with his family and French friends which was quite confronting initially but also fantastic.

Q You call him Fred in real life, not Frederic as you call him in the book? A Yes. I do say in the book that when I first arrived in France I had trouble with pronouncing his name because of the two ‘R’s.’ What I didn’t say is that I still have trouble and so ‘Fred’ stuck. Unless I really concentrate, I still can’t say it properly.

Q When you first went to Europe it was for a year, so I imagine you were surprised to find a holiday turned into something permanent? A Yes, you never look that far ahead. I think often in life you make quite big decisions without realising they are big decisions. I was in backpacker mode and not ready to go back to Australia. I’d had a lovely holiday with Fred and I was not ready to end the relationship by any means. And so staying sounded like the sensible thing to do. I didn’t know what was in store. I didn’t think of how difficult it was going to be. It was a different city when I came back to settle here from the one I’d visited in August. It was winter and bleak and I realised it was quite a different thing to come back and settle here rather than visit. All of a sudden I was confronted with the reality of making my life in France. Then I began to think, ‘hang on, this might not be so easy.’

People think of Paris as small and being quite contained and not intimidating, other than the fact that people speak French. I’d been there quite a few times and I knew Fred and I knew what French people were like so it would be quite easy. Of course I was completely naive, it was much more difficult than I expected.

Apart from the usual thing of moving to a new country, there was also the challenge of finding work and getting set up as a freelance journalist. But I think that there are things about France that do perhaps make it more challenging. The fact that you feel it’s all familiar makes it all the harder when you do confront things that you just simply don’t understand. You find yourself at a dinner party say, everybody’s speaking rapid fire French, you can’t understand a word and you feel completely alien. Terribly alone.

When I first arrived I didn’t want to hang out with other Aussies or foreigners. I wanted to have a bunch of French girlfriends, I thought that would come quite easily. When that didn’t happen I met up with some other foreigners living in Paris and that was very helpful because we were all having the same experiences and same problems. Talking to them (laughing) made me feel I wasn’t the only loser going through these difficulties.

Q How did you get the book published? A Because it was my first book, I really had no idea how it worked. So I wrote an introduction of 1500 words and sent that with a proposal to about six publishers. And to the literary agents, Curtis Brown. I think nearly all of them got back to me, saying pretty positively that they were interested in the book. On my next visit to Sydney I met with Random House and that was very helpful because the woman there gave me some very good advice. She said ‘I think it could work. But you’re going to have to put more of yourself into it.’ Being a journalist who had very rarely ever written the word ‘I’ before, I was very loathe to make it personal. In fact in the first version Fred didn’t even have a name – he was ‘the lawyer.’

But if there was one thing I found difficult about writing a book it was that – that whole aspect of writing about my life. There were various stages where I completely freaked out and resisted it. Funnily enough Fred was fine about it, but I didn’t necessarily want our arguments aired dialogue- style in a book.

Q Was Fred the first person to read the finished manuscripts? A Fred read many drafts along the way. And came up with a lot of good ideas. My friend the fashion journalist who I talk about in the book, was also great. And friends and family back in Australia also read drafts and made suggestions.

Q I loved, Maddie, the ‘wonder’ dog in the book and the way everyone in Paris fauns over her. A Maddie the stubborn dog, you mean. But it was funny and unexpected, the way she opened a whole new, weird world in Paris for me.

Q Are you still working as a freelance journalist? A I haven’t been, I decided to take off time for the book – I think it’s been about a year and a half all up. Now I’m starting to get back to it again. I’d reached the point where I was happy to stop doing articles. It can be tricky freelancing and I was happy to take a break.

Q How did you organise your day when you were writing the book? A I had set hours. If I felt it wasn’t going anywhere I’d take Maddie out for a walk. I go down to the cafe first and have my coffee at nine o’clock. I would sit there watching the street entertainment, all the food deliveries rolling up and then I’d go back to my office and work till about six or seven. And then go to the gym – two or three nights a week. I gave myself monthly deadlines.

Q The title is yours or the publishers?A To be honest we were having trouble coming up with a title. They didn’t like mine and I didn’t like theirs. Time was running out. Then one day I was reading some film reviews and there was one called ‘Almost Famous’ – so I adapted that. It said everything I wanted to say. That whole struggle of integrating into a new country and realising you will only ever be ‘almost’ and perhaps that’s okay.

Although I had this interesting experience recently…we’d only just come back to Paris from Australia where we’d enjoyed a few weeks, to this grey, bleak, wintry weather and I had an attack of post holiday blues. Then I went down to the market and straight away the cheese man called out ‘how did that cheese go down that I vacuum packed for you? Did everyone like it in Australia?’ And people started calling out, ‘how was your holiday?’ And I suddenly thought, ‘yes, this is my home.’ It was lovely, gave me a sense of belonging.

Q You are obviously fluent in French now and that’s made a big difference? A Yes, that was crucial. Remember too there was the incentive in that in the beginning, I was with a Frenchman whose English wasn’t that great but it was better than my French. But Fred’s English wasn’t wonderful so speaking in English wasn’t an option. I had to learn to speak French quite quickly. Also, back then we only had French friends and I’d end up at the end of a night out without having said a word. Not because they wanted to be rude, they just didn’t think at all of slowing down so that I could understand or stopping to explain things. So I’d finish up sitting around a table for four hours, not having a clue what was being said. You get tired of just sitting there nodding, so I did have to learn pretty quickly.

Q You were born and raised in Australia? A No, I was born in Texas, in the US because my father was in the military, an airforce pilot. My older brother and younger sister were born in Singapore. In fact I grew up mainly in Canberra in between overseas postings. I did a lot of my schooling in Canberra and went to university at the ANU where I did an Arts degree. Ironically, I remember being advised to drop French…

Q The thing you love most about returning to Australia? A The people. Friends and family. I have this need to go back to Australia every year. I have to do it. I’m lucky, my parents live near the beach and it’s just beautiful there. There are many wonderful things to do in Paris, but you can’t duplicate friends and family.

Q The thing you love about Paris? A I love the quarter, the neighbourhood where I live. Living in a market street. There’s so much life, it’s so entertaining. It’s a part of Paris that still has the village atmosphere and that has given me tremendous happiness.

Q Do you have an idea for another book? A I’d like to think I could write another book, but it won’t be of this genre. But I only have vague ideas at this stage.

Q Maddie must have loved you being at home longer than normal, writing the book? A Depends. When I’d go out to do interviews, especially if it was a fashion one, I’d take Maddie with me and they’d just love it. One day I had to go into a fashion house to pick up something and the girl asked eagerly, ‘are you going to bring your dog?’ She loves the attention of course, plays up to it incredibly. She probably thinks writing books is incredibly dull because she misses her outings.

Q Are children a part of your plans? A Yes we’d like to have them at some stage… we’ll see what happens.

Q Unfulfilled ambitions? A I don’t think like that. I’m not one for setting goals – I just think whatever you do, do it as best you can.

Q Has Paris changed you in any way? A My fashion journalist friends were only teasing me recently because I was wearing some new boots and she was laughing, saying compare those with those Doc Martens you wore when you arrived in Paris. These have a pointy toe and a bit of a heel – I’m still not into heels, but they’re nothing like the clumpy shoes I got around in when I first arrived. So I’m sure there have been some changes there. French clothes tend to be very tailored and quite feminine and I think it’s quite natural to wear things that are a bit more snug or tight fitting.

Q Are you slender? A Yeah, I’m a little person. So I’m lucky I can fit into them, some of my friends from Australia find it hard to find French clothes to fit.

Paris has changed me in some ways profoundly as well and yet when I’ve asked people back home they say you’re still the same. I think anyone who’s ever lived abroad, the things you see and experience do change you – make you stronger and hopefully, more open minded.

When you first arrive in France you react against it. You make rash judgements. And you think the French are this or that, because you don’t understand. Because you feel hurt. Then, as you get to know the language and the French character things change. And I think with time, you realise there is no malice intended, it’s simply a different culture and it’s up to you to learn about and come to understand it.

Q Do you have any advice for anyone going to Paris? ADon’t take offence at the attitudes, would that be a good tip for starters? A Yes, although I do think there has been a marked change in Paris with regards to foreigners. My parents have noticed it. While a couple of words of French would be nice, Parisians are much more willing to speak English now. There has been a slow opening up in the seven years I’ve been here. I think if people are coming to live here the advice I’d give is don’t give up. I’ve spoken now to so many foreigners who have moved here and I’ve discovered that it’s normal to find it difficult and confronting. They all agree it’s a lot more difficult than you expect – and then you come out of it.

Q And then you fall in love? A Absolutely. The other thing is living in France or any foreign country, there are still things that can surprise you, that you don’t understand because you don’t still don’t know all the culture or even share the same history, or background. There is an underlying tension which makes it more exciting. It is also a wonderful thing. It makes it an adventure.

Q Long term where do you see yourself? A At one stage we’ll come back and live in Australia, at least for a while. If nothing else, so that I can be close to my family and friends and Fred is very open to that idea. One problem is that Fred is the main bread-winner and I don’t think there’s much work for French lawyers in Australia.

Q He can take some time off, then? A Yes, he loves that idea in fact. He’d love to do more painting – he paints in water colours – and he likes to draw.

Q That’s not you on the cover of the book? A No.

Q You had a lot of tough times settling into Paris, ever get close to jumping on a plane and coming back and if not, what stopped you? A It crossed my mind a couple of times. But it never ever was really an option.

Q What stopped you? A I think part of that answer obviously was Fred. And I have to say that even though when I was feeling at my bleakest, I still did believe it would work out. That I could be really happy in France. I just had to get through this. And I did that with the help of a few close girlfriends – we’d go out and drink too much house wine.

Q I felt by the end of the book you’d come to understand something about your own Australian-ness? A Yes. Having lived abroad quite a bit, I’d never really thought of myself as very Australian, but living here has made me realise I am definitely more Australian than I thought. Things like being more direct and an attachment to things being more relaxed.

Q How many countries did you live in growing up? A Singapore, Surry in England and Montgomery, Alabama in Texas, which was quite strange.

Q Did your nomadic upbringing make it easier for you to move to France? A I always thought it had made me more flexible, but it didn’t. So part of my initial reaction to Paris was ‘well hang on, I’m supposed to be good at this. Why isn’t this working?’

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Joanna Trollope q&a

AWW’s author of the month is JOANNA TROLLOPE who wrote GIRL FROM THE SOUTH, which features in the Reading Room in The Australian Women’s Weekly this month.

Q. In this novel, women in their thirties are bright, successful and independent while in search of a romantic ideal of love?

I think this is how young women see love today. They seem to be hooked on this notion of 19th century romance with a capital R and see romantic love as something that will elevate them and make them into a better person. It’s the message put out by magazines and the media. They believe that their soul mate is out there and that like a jigsaw, it’s just a matter of finding this perfect complementary piece, to be complete. It’s a search that is impractical, hopelessly idealistic. They truly seem to feel that they won’t be complete as people until they find this extraordinary perfect soul mate. In my book, Tilly tries to create Henry into such a soul mate and is doomed to terrible disappointment. Which is when Tilly goes back to basics. She goes back to her mother, finally realising, that unless she first gets that relationship right, she’s not going to get anywhere with any of the others.

Q. In contrast, Henry rather than looking for a soul mate, is unsure of what he wants and in both his work and his love life, he is unable to commit

There is the most enormous amount of choice out there and I think this makes young men bewildered. There is so much choice they are almost stupified by indecision. There is a feeling that with the girl they are going out with that it is all perfectly nice, but what if out there in the infinite world there might exist the perfect one for them. In my book, Henry feels that everything is all right with Tilly but after 10 years of living together he cannot make the commitment and ask her to marry him. Girls of Tilly’s generation, it seems to me, are almost too much for the men. They are too capable, too emotionally ambitious, and they send out confusing messages. On the one hand she says I am as independent as you are and I can earn as much, if not more, than you can, while simultaneously looking for a knight in shining armour who will take her home and make babies. Young men just duck and run.

Q. These are the children of Swinging Sixties Parents. How are the parents to blame for this confusion?

I wonder sometimes if perhaps we were careless. If the liberation and growing up in the sixties created a kind of careless freedom that spilled over when we became parents. A feeling that perhaps we didn’t concentrate enough, that the Sixties self indulgent attitudes to sex and relationships may have led to, or at least contributed to, the fragmentation of modern families. I am not certain of this, but I do wonder…

Q. Does your knowledge of today’s generation of thirtysomethings come from your own experience with your two daughters and two stepsons?

No. I firmly leave my children out of everything. It is awful enough having a parent who is well known. But I see a lot of this generation in my professional life. English publishing is full of this age group and of course I see a lot with my friends’ children who are now this age. You talk with them, read the media, and pick up on the way people are thinking and what is happening. I have been preoccupied with this age group and how they think since Bridget Jones Diary came out. Bridget Jones Diary incidentally is an excellent book and struck a real need, just as Harry Potter struck a real need. Books don’t become a huge success because they are hyped. They have to answer something the public is longing for at that time. So that’s when the idea for Girl from the South began. I kept turning it over in my mind as I noticed the anxiety so many mothers my age have about their children and I thought it was a relevant and topical to write about.

Q. Henry talks about his generation’s refusal to grow up. Do you think this true of the current 30 something generation.

I don’t know if it’s the case in Australian society. But in England, it seems to me, we have almost over-nurtured our children. In my own childhood in the 1950s you were sent out after breakfast and not be seen again until lunchtime. It was up to you to devise your own amusement. But with our own children, though we didn’t do that. We took them to music lessons, violin classes, dancing class, kung fu and whatever else. Children today are pressured to become more and more accomplished and every minute seems to be taken up and organised. From that they go to university where they are suddenly on their own and they are expected to cope. I suppose another rider to this, is the fact that these days, the family is regarded as Establishment, and therefore not cool. Teachers are also considered uncool. Which means that in times of trouble, instead of turning to parents or teachers whom they consider over the hill, young people turn to friends their own age. But however good those friends may be, at only 19 or 20 years old, their ideas are pretty half-baked. The friend maybe on their side but without any life experience, it just means the young are all at sea together.

Q. Your books are known for your distinctively English settings but this book is a breakaway, switching between London and Charleston, South Carolina. Why did you do this and why Charleston?

The only other book I have written with a setting outside of England was A Spanish Lover, part of which was set in Seville and Southern Spain. I chose Charleston for Girl From the South because I thought if the traditions of womanhood existed anywhere in the world today it would be south of the Mason-Dixon line. Southern society has strong traditions with a strong sense of support for the family. Family in the South is the old fashioned kind with aunts and uncles and cousins. In England the family has broken down badly and I wanted to contrast up to the minute modern society with its fragmented families with the old fashioned extended families of the South which are sanity savers for those grow up within them. I went to Charleston for a couple of weeks and did intense research.

Q. In Girl from the South, family is a constant theme. While Gillon at the beginning bucks under the cocoon of her family and seems to want to break away, by the end she accepts how important they are to her.

Families are important. For those lucky enough to have one, family is where we learn our life skills. Through the family we learn the skills of negotiation, appeasement, evasion and confrontation. These are skills that we carry with us into later life whether we end up running General Motors or running the country. For both men and women, family provides the grounding for human relationships. Family is where we begin and it is an area of life everybody shares from the most humble to the most elevated.

Q. Your second marriage ended in 1998. At the time you said you were depressed and felt an overwhelming sense of failure. Has this affected how you feel about marriage and would you consider marrying again?

I don’t know if I will. I would have hated not to have been married and hated even more, not to have had children. But I am finding that being on my own and being financially independent is very pleasurable. I also find I am not sorry for women on their own anymore. Actually I am really relishing this freedom and love that I don’t have to consult anyone before I decide something. All I have to do nowadays is tenderly ask myself.

Q. Girl from the South is your 11th novel under your real name and your 22nd novel if you include the books you have written under the pseudonym Caroline Harvey. Why the two names?

JT is for my novels which are contemporary, modern and realistic while Caroline Harvey is for the ones that are set in the past and more romantic. When I first started I writing I wrote historical novels. It began when I was trying to make a barrister out of my elder daughter, Louise. She had done a degree at Oxford and then decided to read for the bar and had to do a law conversion course. At that time our four children were all milling about taking degrees and Ms Harvey rather rallied to the rescue as far as Louise was concerned and paid the fees. Louise is now a barrister with two children of her own so it was worth it. The first few books I wrote under Joanna Trollope but with the success of my modern novels, I invented the name Caroline Harvey because the historical novels are a completely different genre. I haven’t written a Caroline Harvey book for about five years. There is one I would love to write but it means a great deal of research on your side of the world, just north of Australia, and I haven’t yet had time to do that. Also the ideas for the modern novel keep bubbling up, so it keeps being put back.

Q. How disciplined are you as a writer. Do you write every day?

When I am writing a book I make myself write so many words a week. That usually means writing five or six days a week very consistently and writing roughly four or five thousand words a day. I do three drafts. The first I wrote in longhand very fast on the right hand side of an A4 pad and then I tinker with that on the blank left hand side. That gets typed up and then I tinker with the typescript. The third draft is then typed up and it goes to my editor. I use longhand because while I think a computer is a useful business tool, I cannot use it for anything creative. When it comes to writing and being creative I have to use longhand.

Q. What is your advice to would-be writers?

The first thing I’d tell them is not to be ambitious too early. You make a better writer for having lived a little. You tend to write better fiction after 35. The second thing is to train your powers of observation and to this end, I often tell people to keep a journal. Not a daily dear diary, but a journal as a kind of creative scrapbook. Put into all your ideas, the things you overhear that seem telling, descriptions of things you have noticed from landscapes to facial tics. Put into the book your favourite quotations, anything that catches your eye, from photographs you love to postcard reproductions of places you’ve been. Build up a kind of file on humanity which is all part of training yourself to be this extraordinary verbal camera. Which is what writing is all about. The other thing you need is persistence. I am now 57 and was 30 when I started to write. But I was almost 40 before my first novel was published and I didn’t have any kind of success until I almost 50. My success is very recent. The Rector’s Wife was the book that gave me the turn around. That was in the summer of 1993. I was 49.

Q. You are a descendant of Anthony Trollope, the great Victorian novelist.

I always call him The Real Trollope and I related but his direct descendants are all in Australia, which is where I first met them.

Q. Where do you base yourself these days?

I am lucky, I have a town and a country life. I divide my time between a flat in London and a rented cottage in the Cotswolds just west of Oxford. I have an enormous dog, a supersized lab called Max who would loathe London. So we spend weekends together in the Cotswolds and during the week he gets cherished by some lovely neighbours.

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