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August 11, 2004

Three ways to get instant calm

Taking a brief time out, even during the most frantic day works wonders, calming your thoughts so you feel more grounded and capable.

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Taking a brief time out, even during the most frantic day works wonders, calming your thoughts so you feel more grounded and capable. Try one of these easy meditations the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed. Remember, your mind is like a puppy – it can be trained! None of these techniques require special equipment, money, or even a lot of time; they are all easy habits to learn. It’s important to practise consistently – you’ll receive the greatest benefits if you meditate daily. 1. Three deep breaths Inhale through your nose, and then out through your nose. Inhale again, a little deeper this time – then exhale. The third time, inhale even more slowly and deeply, focusing on the way your lungs feel as they fill with air – then exhale. If you begin to think of other things, bring your attention back to your breath. Repeat this technique at the beginning of every hour or use memory joggers – like going to the toilet or stopping at a red light – to remind you to breathe consciously. 2. Walk away If you’re feeling agitated, nothing beats a 15-minute walking meditation – go round the block, take the dog to the park, or just walk up and down the corridor at work. Begin by walking at a brisk pace; after five minutes, slow your speed by half, then after a further five minutes, slow to a steady, purposeful walk. Think of your feet and your steps all the time, bringing your attention back to your deliberate movements if your thoughts wander. 3. Create a tranquil moment This technique is ideal for women who ‘think too much’ or have an overactive brain and a too-vivid imagination. The idea is to train your brain to visualise peaceful, restorative images and thoughts, rather than the usual helter-skelter of fragrances, sounds, lists and physical sensations that beset you. First sit quietly, close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Recall a special moment when you felt absolutely at peace, e.g. listening to a brilliant piece of music, climbing up to a lookout. Use all your senses to visualise that moment and hold it in your mind, lovingly noticing every detail. Keep coming back to the image if your mind wanders. After a minute or two, let it fade until the next time you need it.

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I’m a certified gym rat and these are all the essentials I swear by

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The Block’s Jasmin Neuwen is battling breast cancer

“I would give up every gold medal I’ve ever won to have a child”: Ariarne Titmus sheds light on her ovarian tumour surgery

Steph Campbell speaks about how she was left with severe burns to her body after a hot water bottle started leaking.

Warning: Hot water bottle burns left me scarred for life

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Smash your fitness goals with one of the best treadmills to purchase in Australia

Aussie Olympian Harry Garside swears by these tips to help with sleeping habits

MasterChef alumni Tommy Pham welcomes TWO new babies into the world

Elton John opens up about battle with “severe” infection

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August 6, 2004

Cats and collars

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Question:

My six-month-old kitten Lucy absolutely refuses to wear a collar. Every time we put one on her, she goes absolutely mental, running around and acting bananas.

I’ve not been brave enough to let her outside yet, as I don’t want to let her out without a collar. I’m also not sure how to go about letting her outside without her running off. Can you help?

Meri-ann

Answer:

Meri-Ann,

I can totally relate to this experience, both of my cats reacted in a similar way when I first put collars on them. Don’t worry, they do get used to it, it just takes a bit of practice and pussycat psychology…

Start by making the collar a bit bigger so you can quickly slip it over her head and only leave it on for a few minutes so she can get used to the feeling of it. Start playing a game or feeding her straight away so she is distracted. Next time, leave it on a bit longer and keep repeating this until she doesn’t react.

You can then adjust the collar to the right size — not so loose that she can get it off, not so tight that it strangles her: you should be able to get a few fingers underneath it. Cat collars also have an elasticised section, so if it’s caught on something, it has enough give that your cat can wriggle free. You’ll have to expect to lose a collar occasionally. My neighbours used to find Scooter’s and put it in my letterbox!

It is important your kitten wears a collar with an ID tag, with her name, your contact number (preferably a mobile you have with you all the time) and your vet’s number on the back in case of emergencies. A bell is also a good idea to protect wildlife.

On the subject of going out, let her out for short periods when you are out with her to supervise and gradually she can stay out longer once she gets to know her territory (so she doesn’t get lost). Start by only letting her out when she’s hungry, so she doesn’t wander far and will come when called for dinner.

Always reward her with food and praise when she comes when you call her name. This teaches her it’s worthwhile returning home! She might get into a few scraps while trying to get her own piece of territory, so listen out for cat noises and call her in before dark. Cats fight more at night.

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August 6, 2004

Food thieves

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Question:

If your dog keeps stealing the kids’ food while they’re eating, leave out a sandwich laced with a bit of curry. The dog won’t get hurt, but will learn that human food isn’t nice.

Answer:

It worked wonders on my golden retriever and it is nice to be able to enjoy meals without her “sad dog” eyes begging for food.

Janette Coates, via e-mail.

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August 6, 2004

Losing a beloved pet

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Question:

Little over a month ago, my dog of 16 years was put down due to suspected liver cancer. It is the first pet that I can remember leaving us. Although time heals all pain and I am getting over it quickly, it still hurts me to think she won’t be sleeping on the beanbag anymore or that I won’t come through the door to see her at the top of the stairs.

I am not allowed to get another dog as I am still living at home. What do you suggest I do to help me get over her passing and move on?

Jessica, via e-mail.

Answer:

Jessica,

It is a terribly sad time when you have to say goodbye to a beloved pet, as they’re such a big part of the family. You need to look at photos and remember all the wonderful times you had with her, and what love she gave you. Take solace in the fact that you made the decision in her best interest and she led a long and happy life.

Time will help heal the pain, but you will never forget her, or replace her. Maybe you could consider getting a different sort of pet, if your parents allow you to, or you could volunteer at a dog rescue shelter to walk and care for those doggies that don’t yet have loving owners.

When I had to put my 15-year-old family dog, Jessie, to sleep earlier in the year, I had lots of lovely letters from readers offering their support and sympathy. These pet bereavement websites might also help …

www.doggyheaven.com.au

www.petloss.com

www.members.optusnet.com.au/~bundlebliss/

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August 6, 2004

I told my sister’s boyfriend about her affair

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My sister and I are two years apart in age so we have always had the same group of friends. When she was 18 she started seeing my boyfriend’s best friend and we spent even more time together.

My sister and her boyfriend, Will, had been together for about six years when she confided in me that she had met a guy at work and that they had heaps in common. My sister and her boyfriend had met before she went to uni and both of them had since grown into pretty different people — Will was a labourer and she was now a journalist.

One night my sister, her boyfriend and my boyfriend and I went to a really nice restaurant together. My sister was really dressed up and had a new haircut that made her look great. I had recently put on a bit of weight and was feeling very frumpy that night. It didn’t help that my boyfriend kept sneaking admiring glances at my sister, and that Will couldn’t stop saying how beautiful she looked.

About a week later I saw my sister again and she told me that she had started having an affair with Sam, the guy from her work. She was upset because Sam wanted her to break up with Will, and Will had just asked her to marry him. She spent the next few hours telling me that Will had been her best friend since she was young, and that no one knew her better, but that Sam understood her in a way that Will never would.

When I went home that night, my boyfriend and I had a silly argument. In the middle of the argument he said it would be nice if I put more effort into my appearance — like my sister did. He said that maybe I could look at least half as nice as her if I tried. I went to sleep that night very upset and unsure of myself.

Will and I ran into each other the next day and decided to eat lunch together. Over lunch, Will told me he was worried that my sister hadn’t answered his marriage proposal yet. He said that she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would be devastated if she said no. He talked about how beautiful she was … and that was the final straw for me. I blurted out that everyone thought she was so perfect, but that she was running around with another guy behind his back.

That night my sister rang in tears — Will had left her. He’d said that he didn’t want to talk to her again, and it was clear from her confusion that he hadn’t even told her why he was moving out. My sister just assumed he must have seen her with Sam somewhere.

A year later, I ran into Will. He was engaged to a girl he had met not long after he left my sister. He said he was happier and that he had more in common with his new fiancée — he had always felt like my sister looked down on him a bit.

In a way, my jealous outburst had helped all of them. My sister and Sam were married six months after Will broke up with her, and Will was clearly happy with his new love. But I wish I hadn’t let my own insecurities get the better of me. I know my sister would never forgive me if she ever found out that I spilled her secret.

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August 5, 2004

Holiday care for your fish

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Are you wondering what to do about your pet fish when you go away on holiday? If you’re only going to be away from home a few days, don’t worry about having someone feed your fish. Healthy fish can easily go a week without food.

You can buy fish feeders, which gradually dissolve to release food, but using these might upset the PH in your tank. If you’re going to be away for more than a week, it’s best to have someone feed your fish. Ask a neighbour or friend who’s willing to go to your house every few days to do so.

A good way to prevent someone over-feeding your fish while you’re away is to put enough fish food for one day in a small package such as an envelope. Make up enough of these packages to last the time you’re away.

Your fish don’t have to be fed every day, and shouldn’t be given more than one day’s food at a time — even if they haven’t been fed for a few days. Make sure the person feeding your fish knows not to make up for days they may have missed by giving your fish extra food.

If the water in your tank evaporates quickly, you might have to arrange for your tank to be topped up with fresh water. Explain to your good Samaritan that the water should be at room temperature and free of fluoride.

It’s best not to add any new fish to your tank in the month before you go on holidays — the new fish could introduce disease that takes some time to develop.

Clean your tank and filter, and change the water like you would normally, the week before you go on holidays.

Lastly, you might like to give the person who is looking after your fish the number of a pet store or aquarium that they can call if they need to. This will also put their mind at rest if they’re nervous about their fish responsibilities.

For more great pet info, visit www.petnet.com.au

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August 4, 2004

Fergie: single, rich, thin

The Duchess is posing. She's looking glamorous in tight black pants and a billowing white blouse, and she seems to know exactly what the camera wants, here in this New York City photo studio.

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Read our exclusive interview with Fergie in the August issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly The Duchess is posing. She’s looking glamorous in tight black pants and a billowing white blouse, and she seems to know exactly what the camera wants, here in this New York City photo studio. After each click of the camera, Sarah Ferguson assumes a new expression: an innocent smile, a naughty smirk, a demure gaze. A floor fan blows her signature red hair, someone turns the music up and soon she’s dancing happily to Shake Your Booty. “I have so much to tell you!” she says, breathless between wardrobe changes. “You won’t believe it!” Waiting for our chance to sit down and chat, I wonder what her big news could be. Maybe it’s about one of her charities, Children in Crisis, which she founded in 1993, or the US-based Chances for Children. Through her Little Red (heroine of her latest book) dolls, profits from which go to needy children, and her other charities, the Duchess has raised millions for needy children throughout the world. Yet, from her buoyant mood, I suspect her news is more personal. Divorced since 1996 from Prince Andrew – the man she calls her best friend – maybe she has a new love. I wonder if her daughters, Princess Beatrice, 15, and Princess Eugenie, 14, are in on this. Sarah Ferguson may be 44, but today she is so full of excitement she could pass for a teenager herself. Read our exclusive interview with Fergie in the August issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly and find out about her plan for a new chapter of her life and why she feels she is still a work in progress.

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The Bachelor’s Jimmy Nicholson and Holly Kingston are expanding the family

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Today’s Sarah Abo is married to her soulmate! But who is he?

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Inside Johnny Ruffo and Tahnee Sims’ relationship and the unbreakable bond they forged

Richard Gere is leaving the US and moving to Spain, here’s why

2GB radio host Ray Hadley has announced his retirement after over 40 years

“I would give up every gold medal I’ve ever won to have a child”: Ariarne Titmus sheds light on her ovarian tumour surgery

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These pictures prove that Home and Away sweethearts Luke Mitchell and Rebecca Breeds are the soap’s biggest success story

All the adorable snaps of Martha Kalifatidis and Michael Brunelli’s newborn son Lucius

Is this the end of Carrie Bickmore and Tommy Little?

Home And Away lovebirds Rebecca Breeds and Luke Mitchell are pregnant!

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July 30, 2004

Delicious dinner to reduce dog-do

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Question:

What goes in must come out, right? No one knows this better than a dog owner whose pet lives in a restricted space. But feeding your dog a home-cooked dinner instead of tinned food can reduce doggy-do by up to 40 percent!

Answer:

To prepare, cook 500g of beef mince in a cup of water with one dessert spoon of gravy powder. Bring to boil, adding one entire bag of McCains Peas, Carrots and Corn frozen veggies.

In a separate bowl, microwave one cup of rice and two cups of water for 13 minutes (or until cooked). Combine rice with meat mixture and allow to cool.

This yields seven meals for a medium-sized dog such as a Foxy, Australian Terrier or Maltese etc. It’s also an excellent meal option for keeping your dog lean and trim!

Petrina Frost, via e-mail.

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July 30, 2004

Aggressive dog

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Question:

Hello Dr Julie,

We purchased a beautiful Maltese Cross-King Charles Cavalier called Charlie in February this year. Up until three months ago he was very placid and friendly. Now he goes for visitors to our home.

I have tried removing him, telling him “NO”, and even giving visitors treats to give him but nothing is working. Are we doing something wrong or is this his personality? I don’t want him to bite anyone. He is very loving and gentle with us.

Karen.

Answer:

Dear Karen,

I’m not sure exactly how old little Charlie is but I’m guessing he’s at least seven to eight-months-old. He is displaying territorial aggression in the house and this could be partly anxiety-based, or he’s dominant in nature and he’s discovered his aggressive behaviour gets results!

Either way, you need to nip this in the bud. I think it would be a good idea to have him assessed by a vet or behaviourist to work out if he is suffering from anxiety or whether he’s just a little bossy boots — then you can put in place a plan of action.

In the meantime, you need to keep him on a lead when you have visitors so he can’t sink his teeth into anyone. Your behaviour towards him will also send powerful messages. If he is anxious, don’t reward the anxious behaviour (with any attention — even reassurance or scolding) because this only tells him he is doing the right thing.

If he is under control on a lead, you don’t need to shut him out (that will probably make him worse) but you can ignore the outbursts. You can distract him by asking him to sit or drop and then lavish him with attention and treats.

It’s like a kid having a tantrum and giving them a lolly to shut them up — they learn how to manipulate things to get what they want. If you ignore the tantrum and then ask them, in a happy, non-threatening voice, to see how quickly they can do something for you, you can then reward them with the lolly and tell them how good they are. Same outcome but you are in control and it gives very different messages.

You can reassure Charlie by taking the lead. If you are a strong but kind leader he won’t feel the need to protect you as much, and he will learn to look up to you for cues on how to behave.

Later on you can get visitors to give him treats but for now that might be pushing it. They can ignore him while he gets used to the idea that visitors to the house are not a threat. If he is dominant, you need to re-establish the hierarchy so he’s at the bottom of the pack. You may need to revoke some privileges such as being up on furniture.

Things have to be on your terms — not his. If he jumps on you for attention, ignore him. You decide when you will pay him attention. Asking him to sit first is asking him to submit to you, a doggy way of saying please. You should eat first and behave as a more dominant dog in the pack. He will respect you for this.

If the anxiety is bad he may need some medication, but this behaviour modification will be the key. De-sexing could help if the dominance is partly hormonal but his “manhood” certainly isn’t the whole story.

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July 30, 2004

How should I clean my hairbrush?

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Question:

How should I clean my hairbrush?

Kelley, via e-mail.

Answer:

If you have a plastic or metal brush, you should remove the hair with your fingers or another brush, then soak your brush in a mixture of shampoo and tea-tree oil to dissolve any product build-up. The oil acts as a disinfectant.

If your brush is wooden with pure bristles, you need to use a comb to remove the hair. Dip it in the same mixture, but wash the brush straight away. Soaking a wooden brush in water for too long can cause damage. Allow your brush to dry naturally in fresh air or use a hairdryer. It’s time to toss away your brush when the bristles become curvy at the ends and start to fall out.

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