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Cat scratching furniture

Question:

I have a beautiful one-year-old English chinchilla who is constantly scratching, mainly on my couch (which he is ripping into threads), but also on the carpet. He does have a scratching pole and lots of toys to play with, but he prefers the furniture.

I have tried a number of different products on the market and nothing seems to work. He is an indoor cat (he does not go outside at all, as he is afraid of going outside and I prefer him inside).

Could you please help, since I have run out of ideas? Is there perhaps a certain plant which cats dislike that I could place in different areas? I was told that cats dislike the smell of lemons, but my cat seems to love the smell.

Teresa Zerafa, via e-mail.

Answer:

Dear Teresa,

Cat scratching is perfectly normal behaviour, but not very acceptable when it’s on our furniture or carpet. It’s also not the easiest problem in the world to solve, but it is possible to do so if you understand why they do it. And believe it or not, it’s really not to annoy you, as annoying as it is!

Cats need to condition their claws, but they also do it to mark their territory. And the more anxious cats are, the more they feel the need to do it. Having a scratch post is essential, but you need to ensure it is tall enough so that as an adult he can stretch right out when using it. Sometimes cats also need to be taught how to use a scratch post. Try spraying some catnip on it or putting food treats on it, so he gets a reward every time he uses it. You can even hang toys off them to make them more inviting.

Cats have scent glands between their toes and actually deposit scents where they scratch, so they come back to that familiar smell. You can try spraying something offensive to cats (there are commercial products around) or talk to your vet about pheromone therapy (sprays or vaporisers) to make the cat feel more comfortable and less in need of marking their territory. Other medications may be used after an assessment by your vet if the anxiety issues are severe enough.

Blocking access to the areas he’s scratching helps break the cycle. Cover the part of the lounge or carpet with some heavy plastic — they don’t like the feel of this under their feet and it’ll also protect your furniture. You can distract him if you catch him red-pawed with clapping or a squirt of water, but don’t scold him after the event. This will only confuse him or make the anxiety worse.

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My secret profit

My sisters and I and some friends all went on a big shopping spree in Melbourne a few years ago. On the second last day of our week in Melbourne, we all decided to split up and go our separate ways to score the bargains we’d each had our eyes on. I had my heart set on some beautiful bed linen at a major department store.

The queues were abominable and I waited for almost an hour to pay for my sheets and quilt cover. When I was finally served, I took the $250 out to pay for my items and the girl said, “That’ll be $25, thanks.”

I couldn’t believe my luck! The bed linen was the last left in the range and the colour I wanted and I was being charged just 10 percent of the reduced price!

I quickly handed over the $25 cash and took off, almost before the cashier could even bag my goods.

When I arrived back at the hotel, I couldn’t wait to show the girls what I’d picked up for such a cheap price. They oohed and aahed over the quality, the colour and the lovely brand name. When I showed them the receipt, however, some were excited that I’d got away with such a bargain, while others were appalled that I’d taken advantage in such a way.

“Hey, you win some, you lose some, right?” I shrugged.

Yet they were still disgusted with me, so I begrudgingly agreed to take the set back to the store the next day. It seemed I had to do it just to save face, as everyone was beginning to agree that I was in the wrong.

Next day, I trudged into the department store and waited another eternity in the queue. When I reached the counter, the woman asked, very abruptly, “Do you have your receipt, madam?” I rummaged through my bag, my purse and even my pockets … no receipt.

The woman rolled her eyes and indicated to her junior cashier to grant me the refund, but not before giving a dismissive flick of her hand in my direction.

Here I thought I was doing the right thing, only to be abused for it. I felt angry and ashamed and my face was beet red.

Imagine my surprise when the junior cashier handed me $250 cash instead of the $25 I’d paid!

I tried to speak up, but the store was in such frenzy, with customers pushing and shoving behind me, all wanting to be served. The older cashier nudged back into the limited space behind the counter, “Is there something else I can do for you, madam?”

Speechless at her rudeness, I shook my head, turned and walked away.

At the hotel, the girls were pleased — I’d redeemed myself in their eyes. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them that I’d profited by $225 and they still don’t know to this day!

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Sounds like hope!

The Tait twins

By Annette Campbell

When tiny premature twins Jackson and Samantha Tait were born at only 24 weeks and four days, it was a miracle they even survived.

Then, only two days before they were allowed home from hospital — more than three months after their dramatic birth — they were both diagnosed as being profoundly deaf.

“We’d been so excited and happy they were finally coming home — then we were hit with that,” says their mum, Francine. “We were devastated. But just look at them now!”

In the last four years, this determined duo has progressed in leaps and bounds, proving that nothing is impossible.

“Samantha actually regained her hearing entirely!” Francine says. “We’re told that’s quite rare and most probably due to maturation.”

Francine and her husband, Stephen, 44, an IT manager, were hoping and praying that Jackson would follow his sister’s example. But he has remained profoundly deaf — although the cochlear implant he received in March 2001 means he can now communicate clearly and access all sounds.

Despite the substantial hurdles they’ve already overcome, Jackson and Samantha are starting school next year.

“They’re ready!” says Francine proudly. “They’ll be going to a mainstream school here in Sydney and they’re so excited already! Jackson appears to have an auditory processing disorder but should cope well with support.”

Looking back to the time when they first brought their babies home, Francine and Stephen can hardly believe how they’ve thrived.

“Our neonatalogist had warned us that the antibiotics used to control their life-threatening lung infections would probably cause deafness,” Francine explains. “Even so, we were shocked when it happened.”

But the Taits came to terms with the diagnosis, and set about learning all they could about hearing loss and the options available for their babies — such as auditory-verbal therapy, the possibility of signing, hearing aids and cochlear implants.

When they were seven months old, Jackson and Samantha were enrolled at The Shepherd Centre — a Sydney-based early intervention service for hearing-impaired children and their families.

“Hardly a day went by that we didn’t have appointments for them — either at the Shepherd Centre or with other medical specialists,” says Francine.

“Samantha’s hearing was gradual, and she was almost one when her hearing tested within normal limits. Now she can hear as well as anyone.

“We think they’re both amazing kids. We had a difficult time when they were first diagnosed, but they’ve come so far. Not a day goes by when we don’t think how lucky we are.”

You can contact The Shepherd Centre on 1800 020 030, or visit their website for more information www.shepherdcentre.usyd.edu.au

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Bingeing blame

A few years ago, a friend who had to attend a work party asked me if I would mind taking care of her children for the night. I gladly said yes, unaware of what I was getting myself into. Her two children, aged nine and seven, turned out to be real horrors and I had to endure several hours of hell with two spoilt brats.

However, it was their bedtime soon enough and before I knew it, I was lounging in peace. Time began to pass more slowly, though, and it wasn’t long before I began scavenging through their pantry in search of something to pleasure my taste buds. And there it was, sitting on the second shelf, a large box of ‘Celebrations’.

I knew my friend would not mind if I helped myself to one. So I did. But to my regret, I had underestimated my self-control and a few hours later, having eaten so many, I thought I may as well finish the box. It wasn’t until after I’d finished that I realised the consequence of my actions.

I was too embarrassed to own up to eating an entire family-size box of chocolates, so my thoughts immediately went to how I would get away with it … and then it hit me. I grabbed the empty box, filled it with the wrappers and snuck into the children’s room.

I planted it right next to the daughter’s bed and planted some wrappers in her drawer for further conviction.

I never really found out what happened to her daughter. I was simply relieved that the blame was laid on that spoilt little brat instead of me!

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Cat tablets

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Charcoal-crazy dog

Question:

My Irish setter pup, 12 months, loves eating charcoal. She just eats straight from the cold fireplace as much as she can.

Part of her daily diet is eating grass. Can charcoal cause any problems or is this a natural thing for dogs to do? I’ve never seen any other of our dogs do this.

Cazz Henderson, via e-mail.

Answer:

Dear Cazz,

It sounds like your crazy canine is a typical young Irish setter — into everything. Pica is the eating of unusual non-food things and is relatively common in young, curious dogs. She could be eating worse things. Some dogs eat sticks, stones, toys, their owners’ underwear and even their own or other dog’s faeces! Dogs will rarely eat unusual things because of a nutritional deficiency, usually it’s just curiosity, a bit like the way toddlers stick everything in their mouths.

Charcoal in small amounts is actually used to treat gastrointestinal upsets and flatulence. I wouldn’t let her eat a lot of it. If she is also eating a lot of grass, there may be a digestive problem that needs a more bland diet to settle things down. You can get low allergy food from your vet or try boiled chicken and rice for a few days to a week. (Be aware this is not a balanced diet for the longer term.) I would also worm her, if she isn’t already wormed every three months for all intestinal worms.

Failing all of that, it is a behavioural habit that you should rid her of. Block access to the fireplace and give her toys, chews and bones to keep her occupied. Plenty of exercise and stimulation, plus a bit of doggy psychology to train her out of it, wouldn’t go astray.

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Diana: her family’s tribute

The Australian Women's Weekly is proud to be the first in the world to bring you Diana: The Portrait - the official story of the Princess's life as seen through the eyes of her sister, Lady Sarah McCorquodale and those family members and friends who loved her best.

The Australian Women’s Weekly is proud to be the first in the world to bring you Diana: The Portrait – the official story of the Princess’s life as seen through the eyes of her sister, Lady Sarah McCorquodale and those family members and friends who loved her best. In the September 2004 issue. Lady Sarah, head of the Princess of Wales’ Memorial Trust, has also given a first-ever interview in which she talks about her younger sister, not just as the beautiful, if troubled woman the world knew, but also as the extraordinary humanitarian who did so much to break down prejudice and lift up those unable to speak for themselves.

Diana, Princess of Wales, Queen of Hearts and People’s Princess, died tragically young on August 31, 1997. Dozens of books have been published since, but now – for the first time – her family has authorised her official biography, Diana: The Portrait . Sales of Diana: The Portrait will benefit The Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fund, which continues the Princess’ humanitarian work, distributing millions of dollars annually to causes that were dear to her heart.

In this special extract, her family and friends, such as the legendary Nelson Mandela, remember this extraordinary woman. In his words, “however privileged and famous she was, she had time for the most humble people – and made them feel special”.

The childhood

The romance

The engagement

The wedding

The marriage

The mother

The divorce

The fashion icon

The humanitarian

The memories

The legacy

For the full story, and the family’s favourite photos of Diana PLUS an exclusive interview with her sister and Lady-in-Waiting, Lady Sarah McCorquodale, see the September 2004 issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly

Diana: The Portrait © 2004, Rosalind Coward. Published under licence from The Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fund. Published in Australia in 2004 by Hodder Headline Australia Pty Ltd, rrp $85.

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Magda’s comedy

Australia’s most popular comedienne talks candidly about body image, self esteem and where her hit characters such as netball-mad Sharon, Pixie-Anne and Chenille are drawn from.

Australia’s most popular comedienne talks candidly about body image, self esteem and where her hit characters such as netball-mad Sharon, Pixie-Anne and Chenille are drawn from. Magda Szubanski is giving way to her inner demon. At least that’s what it sounds like. Perched in a comfy, mustard-coloured chair, Magda, the much-loved, much-applauded queen of Australian comedy, is shrieking a preposterous satanic chant and fighting to keep her composure. “Oh, Prince of Darkness,” she howls. “Oh, Lord of Evil, Oh, Mighty Pointed Phallus …” Her attempt at self-control is futile, though. As the words leave her mouth, she loses it, slaps her thighs and dissolves in peals of warm, infectious laughter. This is Magda’s guilty little secret. The funniest and most popular woman on Australian television is, it seems, utterly addicted to her own shameless sense of silliness and is a serial giggler. “I still crack up,” she says breathlessly. “I’m a terrible giggler. I’m probably the worst. I have got a real hair-trigger. I just find some of the stuff we do hilarious and that is where a lot of our comedy comes from, a genuine joy. Certainly, for me, it feels like that. It’s just funny and silly. I love it. I love it.” Magda might love laughing at her own jokes, but she’s hardly alone. During the past 20 years – yes, two decades – she has been at the forefront of Australian comedy, turning what was essentially a hobby into a perfectly timed and hugely successful career. There’s barely an Australian alive who hasn’t giggled with Magda as she’s transformed herself into some of comedy’s most memorable characters – Pixie-Anne, Chenille, Mrs Hoggett and sports-mad Sharon Strzelecki from Kath & Kim – some of whom are indelibly etched into Australian popular culture. Yet, despite her years of success and popularity – she has seven Logies, two People’s Choice Awards, three Australian Writers’ Guild Awards and an AFI award for best actress in a supporting TV drama role – this a woman who, at 43, is only now coming to terms with herself, her talent and the remarkable niche she has carved for herself as an entertainer. For years, Magda was beset by insecurity, convinced that, one day, she would be revealed as a fraud. Read our intimate and far-reaching interview in the October 2004 issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

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Exclusive extract: hello missus: a girl’s own guide to foreign affairs

Selected as the Great Read in the September issue of The Australian Women's Weekly.

Selected as the Great Read in the September issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly. Every now and then in life the universe conspires to lend humility. So I emerge from the arrivals area and into the humid heat to find that my worst-case scenario is, in fact, true. Other travellers’ faces are lighting up in recognition, backs are being slapped, a kiss on each cheek in welcome; bemvindo! One after another they leave while I remain rooted to my spot, with no idea of where to go, as a group jostling East Timorese stare with curiosity at the white woman rigid with fear. Count to ten, suppress any desire to calculate your financial wherewithal, Lynne, and hold in the sobs; it’ll be okay, just count to ten, twenty, a thousand, whatever it takes. My impulsiveness is to blame. The job I’d expected here had fallen through days ago but I’d decided to take a chance. Anyway, I was already committed – the furniture was in storage, accounts had been closed, mail was redirected and there was a lot of self-talk about believing strongly in realising dreams. Realising dreams comes with risk, I’m telling myself again on the forecourt of Dili International Airport. After all, that’s what makes them dreams, otherwise they’d just be occurrences. Yes, realising dreams requires bravery … but at this moment I’m wondering if they also require enormous f—— stupidity. The Timorese teenagers can’t contain their intrigue any longer, ‘Dollar Missus?’ comes the chorus as they descend on me. They are desperately poor , they are certainly filthy, and they give some perspective to my circumstances. I might be arriving in Dili in a rather foolhardy manner but I certainly won’t be going hungry tonight, unlike them. I just wish they wouldn’t swarm around me as they’re doing, and I wish they wouldn’t keep asking me, ‘Where you go Missus?’ because I have absolutely no idea. Would it be uncharitable of me to think of them as dirty urchins? ‘Where you go Missus?’ Then they try to reach into my handbag and cop a feel of my bum and I’m wondering if it would be unhumanitarian of me to just elbow them away on my first day here. Great, now is not the time to realise I have no compassion to give these desperate innocents with the big, wide brown eyes beseeching me ‘Dollar Missus?’ because they have none and I have a relative fortune. Although, I am currently homeless, like them. Where do I go? I doubt they can advise me. The sun starts to set and the sky turns a shade of pink and the children continue to mob the ivory-coloured statue, scattering only when it moves and dials a mobile phone. “Hello,” I say into the receiver. “Hello Missus!” they yell and mob me again. Damn it. Voice-mail. I had hoped my impulsiveness would be offset by high-level contacts in this country, an arguable benefit when they can’t be contacted I’m thinking, as my white-knuckled hands grip a trolley that carries a monstrous pile of luggage. Yep, my life is contained in a trolley – five pairs of shoes, only one with stiletto heels, indicating the extraordinary sacrifice I’ve made in coming here; a $300 pair of Scanlan & Theodore dry-clean-only pants, which may have been an ill-advised inclusion but after a wine-soaked goodbye lunch they seemed essential; a lace bustier, because my mum said it’s too nice to languish in storage; a collection of pretty sun frocks in various tropical hues; and four handbags in a kaleidoscope of colours designed for best feats of coordination. See, I had felt that just because I’d be living in a Third World country I didn’t have to look as though I was living in a Third World country. Right now, however, I glance at the duty-free bag holiday my new Chanel lip gloss, mascara, powder foundation (all with built-in sunscreen in deference to the context) and my frown lines deepen alarmingly as I consider that all these fundamentals could very well be heading back to the First World sooner rather than later. And to think of the energy I expended today begging at check-in counters for the 20-kilogram limit to be overlooked on the grounds of gender discrimination because men generally weigh more than me to the precise value of my additional luggage weight. Three-hundred and fifty-four, three hundred and fifty-five…I’m still counting yet panic rises … three hundred and … “Hello, do you need a lift?” I turn around amid the crowd scattering again, expecting to see an angel complete with wings. “Oh, yes please.” “Where do you want to go?” I, um, don’t know? “Well, I arranged to be met here and I haven’t heard a word and I don’t know where to go so I suppose I should get a hotel room.” “Okay, which one?” “Um, don’t suppose you know of one? Not too expensive would be great because I don’t have very much money.” Guardian angels these days travel by car, so I sink into the passenger seat and she directs us towards the capital city of East Timor. She surveys me curiously out of the corner of her eyes and I pretend to be a very Sane Person despite my apparent lack of prospects. Chattering away, I look out the window and we move into the outskirts of Dili. Why isn’t she taking me on a more scenic route, I’m thinking, as we negotiate pigs and potholes beside the remnants of burned-out buildings in the dust. Knowing of the billions of dollars of aid that have made their way to this nation in the last couple of years it strikes me as peculiar that the city hasn’t been rebuilt. Was I expecting shopping malls and boulevards? No. But I’m wondering why the place for the most part remains razed to the ground.

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Interview with Lynne Minion

An exclusive interview with Lynne Minion, author of Hello Missus: A Girl's Own Guide to Foreign Affairs (HarperCollins)

An exclusive interview with Lynne Minion, author of Hello Missus: A Girl’s Own Guide to Foreign Affairs (HarperCollins), selected as The Australian Women’s Weekly Great Read for September. Q Congratulations on your book, Hello Missus, A Girl’s Guide To Foreign Affairs, which is about your adventures, including those of the heart, while living in East Timor – I loved it. A Thank you, I’m very excited about it. Q You became interested in the place while working as a journalist, was it a particular assignment that sparked your interest? A I met Jose Ramos Horta (Nobel Prize winning Foreign Affairs Minister of East Timor) at a small pro-Timorese protest here in Sydney’s Hyde Park in 1996. There were about 20 people there. I was working for SBS World News and I was one of the few media covering it. I was very much inspired by the protest. And I’ve met a lot of Australians who have said that if they could, they would really like to chuck everything in, and go teach English or contribute in some way to countries like Cambodia or Vietnam. They were interested in these post-conflict countries, to help in a humanitarian way. And I was given notice on my beautiful harbour view apartment and by then I was working freelance and I had to put all my possessions in the back of a removal truck anyway and I thought well … this probably is the only time in my life I’ll be able to pursue that dream. Q So the decision to go to East Timor was intellectual or emotional? A Both, remembering that my family had also suffered terrible repression and pain and poverty and were refugees. Q Where are they from? A Ukrainia Q Did they come out here after WWII? A Yes, my mother and her parents. And I grew up on my grandmother’s knee, listening to these remarkable stories of war and hatred but also of survival and humanitarianism. And here was this cause that was on Australia’s doorstep and I had had my eyes opened to it and I wanted to learn more about the issues I was reporting on. And getting to know the activists, the leadership, was all very inspiring, especially as international opinion was shifting and there was a great momentum towards emancipating the East Timorese. Q After interviewing Jose Ramos Horta at the protest, you stayed in contact with him? A Yes through the journalism. Because he visited Australia often and had a high media profile and was very approachable. I continued to interview him on and off for years up until I was at the ABC and at that point, very interested in the Timor Gap (agreement). And I wanted to be at the Independence celebrations. To me that was history being made and it was wonderful history. This was a chance for a nation to celebrate for the first time in its history. It had taken very many decades and very many lives for it to happen. It was a great big party being thrown in Dili and whoa, that was irresistible to me. Q How long were you at SBS TV? A Probably around two years. Q And after that? A I’ve also worked as media advisor for organizations like the Red Cross and Greenpeace, so I’ve been flitting back between journalism and social change and humanitarian organizations. Q What did you do with the ABC? A Stories for the news and for Lateline. Q How long were you in East Timor for, all up? A One year. Q I was surprised at the strict Catholicism in East Timor. A Many people assume, particularly because Indonesia is the largest Muslim country in the world, that East Timor is too. Or that the Timorese would not have been allowed to continue with the Catholicism that the Portugese introduced there. It’s fundamentalist Catholicism. Q At the beginning, the strictness of it even shocks you. For example, when you think that chaste outfit you wear to a party is appropriate and Horta says it’s too bare and not respectable? A I had put a great deal of thought into cultural sensitivities, too! I had borrowed that lilac dress, knowing I needed to dress conservatively and had to be quite chaste – no bosom, below the knee, no pants. But this was considered outrageous because it had tiny straps and was exposing the shoulder blades. When you think about it there is something very feminine and seductive about that part of a woman that is very distinctive from a man’s. And I’d never thought about it before. The first time I came back to Australia for R&R, I was on stop-over in Darwin and I found myself disapproving of the scantily clad women. How can they leave home looking like harlots, I thought to myself! To this day I find my dressing style is a little more conservative. The Fundamentalist Catholic attitudes though has engendered some profound social problems in East Timor. The treatment of women, the multiple births in a country that is profoundly poor, no contraception in a country where a HIV epidemic is a real potential. Q I imagine it’s the poverty and lack of education that makes the Timorese more vulnerable to fundamentalism? A Yes, people aren’t educated enough to challenge or question. I don’t think being able to question Catholicism makes you a bad Catholic. Q You had two jobs, helping set up a new TV station and then working for the Prime Minister, but nothing you did worked out? It was like a black comedy. A I would never have imagined that I would have so many experiences and achieve so little. I think that is a very common experience for people who go to these places, particularly those who work for the United Nations. It’s a very frustrating bureaucracy. Q It was incredible what you came up against – the cultural differences. I’m trying to think of some of the bizarre things that happened at the TV station. A Like the explosion of the homemade wine? Q Or like doing a story about a guy accused of murder and your colleague’s disinterest in giving any kind of balance or fairness in reporting. You were trying to establish professional standards but they couldn’t have been less interested. In fact they resented you, if anything. A They did resent us. But it is the case that neither of my bosses, not the head of the newsroom or the Prime Minister ever spoke to me once. The disdain with which our very genuine desire to assist is treated, was my first real shock of being over there. Like: What do you mean? I’ve left my family! I have made certain sacrifices to come here and you’re saying I should just go home or whatever … give us your beer ration and then we might like you? I thought for a start that’s just downright impolite. And it really shattered a lot my happy idealistic notions. I thought it was all going to be so very lovely and so nice of me and it was all just going to be fabulous. I didn’t realise it was going to be really hard slog and I wouldn’t be appreciated. Q And that you would be shown antipathy? A Yes, antipathy. It was quite a shock to me. Q It seems there is a big distance between reality and illusion, especially when it comes to western ideals and a developing country? A Therein lies the message in the book. It’s all very nice for us in our air-conditioned offices to have our opinions about the struggles in these poorer nations. To have our philosophies and ideologies. But it’s different when you go over there. It’s hard. It’s more complex. All of those stereotypes, whether left or right wing, are wrong. Every country is different. And things change. I’m sure that Timor is vastly different now in 2004 to the Timor I lived within in 2002. I think some of these ideologies and principles are not only close minded, but I think they can be harmful and damaging. And yet these are often the basis of decisions which influence whether people live or die. Where the aid is given, what it is given too. So I learned that. It’s all very different to what I imagined it would be. I thought I would go over there and give out flowers or something. Drink nice cups of tea with people who would say ‘oh thankyou for coming.’ Q The other surprise in the book was the antipathy generally shown to Australians – I had this idea that we were the benevolent big brother in the region and I thought we’d be at least liked? A The Timorese PM on Four Corners recently called Australians greedy. Now I find that offensive. Over 20,000 Australians left their homes and went over and not for a holiday or trip, but to do a tour of duty of some kind, civilian police and peacekeeper. There’s been 400 million dollars of aid given since 1999. We would like to think we would be liked at the very least. Aid shouldn’t be a transaction it should just be a benevolent gift. However our aid has been seen as serving Australia’s own interests and the attitude is that we have been seeking to have instant repayment via proceeds from the Timor Gap (oil and gas) Agreement. However the fact is Australians do care about Timor. Australians have gone over there in droves and made sacrifices and they have given money. And Australian children have had cake stalls and given Xmas presents. We do care. And we’re not greedy. Q Do you think many Timorese people resent the Australians there because they seem so rich compared to them? A That’s right, it was like we were rubbing it in their faces. They had nothing, they lived in such poor circumstances … educating their children was difficult, they had no filtered water, no or little electricity and we were drinking chardonnay at waterfront restaurants with almost a UN land-rover per head. Living this absolutely fine life. Certainly a life of luxury that they could never imagine. I came to understand what poverty was. I thought I was very clever and humanitarian and that I knew a lot about developing nations particularly because my family had spoken about these issues. I went over and saw poverty and I was shocked. Q What did you set out to achieve by writing the book? A It was really to try and teach people about poverty. To take them all on a journey, not hit them over the head with it, not alienating people but presenting it in a way a mainstream audience would come to know characters and come to learn about issues to do with poverty. And also to make people realise that from the first world we find it very difficult to be empathetic because people don’t know what poverty is like. So I wanted to dispel some falsehoods. I also wanted to present some complex international political issues and get rid of some of the stereotypes. I really wanted to bring international politics to a mainstream audience. It’s always been a great fascination of mine. I think people thought it was an unusual obsession I had, yet it desperately influenced my family and I thought we should all have a fascination with it – it’s not as boring as people think. It can be hilarious and intriguing and emotional and there are very real people like the Timorese characters in the book. Hopefully by getting to know them, people will have some empathy for their circumstances. Like the baby that dies. I don’t think that many people really know what it’s like in East Timor, beyond what we’ve seen on the news reports. I was so shocked and surprised. I thought it was worthwhile telling. That UN mission in East Timor is a metaphor for every UN mission in the world. The same issues occur however I hope that by the end of the book people can see that the UN is the still the very best thing in the world. Look at what’s happening in Iraq. If the UN had not been in East Timor it could well have been chaos on a par with Iraq. Irrespective of what you think about US politics, the thing is it did choose to go into Iraq and it is not rebuilding the nation in the way the UN would. If only the UN could get rid of those ridiculous wages. What one earth are they thinking? Who do they think they attract with those outlandish amounts of money. If they get rid of some of the policies and the bureaucracy and operate more like an aid organization, then they will be more responsive and more effective. They won’t be as wasteful of money. And I think more trusted. More useful in a world in which they are desperately needed. Especially when we see the alternative right now with the catastrophe unfolding in Iraq. Q Your description of the high ratio of men to women in Dili, might have thousands of single women swarming over there. A At first I thought ooh! This is working out very well indeed! But it ended up being one of the reasons I left. I couldn’t stand the continual attention, scrutiny, harassment. It was continual, unrelenting. Women had to black their windows as soon as they moved in. We couldn’t walk down the street. We had to be extremely careful of our movements. Q Because of the ration of men to women and because of the reaction of locals to foreign women? A Both. The peacekeepers were terribly harassing. The wolf whistling the cat calling, the constant “beautiful green eyes.” That’s why I had the T-shirt made up in Portugese, “Yes I know I have green eyes.” Q It sounds like every woman’s dream but I imagine it would drive you mad after a while? A Imagine it after a year? It was debilitating. And demeaning. It’s not a compliment to me, although it depends on your perspective. Q In your book, East Timor sounds like quite a dangerous place for women? A Ramos Horta is going to disagree with that when the book comes out, but it is. Ramos Horta says that the crime rate over there is less than it is in Sydney, but that’s because people don’t report crime. Many Timorese people don’t respect the police, they don’t realise that they can be good. And we saw that in the book when the guy tried to attack me on the veranda – people were like “are you nuts, going to the police?” Q And then there was your affair with Viktor who was…? A The head of the Portugese special police unit. Q And what a disappointment he turned out to be. A Yes but as you can see in the end it was all a part of the story and the experience. Q It was a pretty big betrayal? A Yes, there’s that scene in the book when I’m naked and sitting on the tiled floor and he’s just told me the truth. I think a lot of women will identify with that, when the pain is physical and it just doubles you over. I was shocked and horrified because I had asked him so many times to be straight with me. Q You asked a lot because your instinct was telling you something was wrong? A Yeah, but what a horrible man. I told him that he had a duty of care, that I hadn’t loved since 1998 . He still chose to lie and then turned his back on me and said that my baggage would ruin the relationship. I was sobbing. I remember thinking “he’s right, he’s right, I’ll never be able to love unless I can trust.” Q That’s right, you’d had that disappointing relationship several years earlier? A It was actually a marriage. So for him to have chosen to be duplicitous when he knew that I would inevitably find out, was un-gentlemanly, unchivalrous, cowardly. So that made it worse because he did it knowing the pain it would inevitably cause me. Just for a little romp for a little while in East Timor. It’s true that if he had told me the truth I would never have been with him. But I would hope that any man of calibre could put aside his carnal desires to save a girl’s heart. But he wasn’t decent enough to do that. I was one of many. There are thousands of Australian women over there who have had their hearts broken by the Portugese. They were renowned for it. Remember Ann in the book saying the number of normally intelligent women who fall for that line, over and over again. They said what we wanted to hear. They’d gone to a mission that was a tropical island, where most or a lot of the women who worked there were from a sexually emancipated country. Where we don’t get married until really late. We were therefore available. And they were like, woohoo! It’s not like that in Portugal. I would like to think that most Australian men don’t lie in that way. Q Do you have regrets? A Viktor? No. It was great fun. Once I healed I was able to see it as an exciting relationship – it was a little bit of sunshine in my life. One of my friends in East Timor called Portugese men, sobremesas, which are desserts – good to look at but bad for you. Q Do you think your book will be controversial? A Umm yeah. I think people like the PM are not going to be very happy about it. The way I explained it to Ramos Horta was to compare it to John Howard maybe not always liking the cartoons they do about him in the Australian newspapers, but it’s a democratic society and he has to be available for parody and satire. He certainly has to allow himself to be scrutinised and held accountable. Whether John Howard likes what’s said about him or not, that’s what he accepted when he took on public office. His conduct was something he is responsible for and it wasn’t the messenger who was shot. As I write in the book, I really came to see how essential a free media is. And I think that many Australians don’t like journalists. The like to criticise the media and I think a lot of politicians and public figures feed that misconception. So one of my intentions of the book was to say I think people should respect the media a little more because there are a lot of journalists out there who are doing their very best. Q You’re 36? A Yes but my mum’s asked that I never say my age. Q You got very close to some Timorese, especially to some of the women like the maid, Elsie – are you optimistic that one day their life will be better. A She is such a hard worker and so trustworthy and just so kind. So poor. But maybe her kids will have a different life? It does take time. Q Do you have siblings? A A young brother called Brett. Q Star sign? A Capricorn – what a great question! I’m very Capricorn although I might be a bit too impulsive as we’re supposed to be serious, sensible workers probably more than lovers, which is probably why I haven’t been very successful in that regard. Q Lynne Minion likes? A Shoes. Q Dislikes? A Ignorance Q Believes? A In humanitarianism. Q Last film you saw? A Spiderman II and it was great! Q Where were you born? A In Wodonga, Victorian border town. Q is it a big country town? A Yep. Q Educated at? A Wodonga Primary School then Wodonga West High. Q First Job? A Researcher at Channel Ten, Sydney. In news and would you believe, on Alan Jones Live. That was in1993. Q Marital status? A Single at the moment. The book became my single focus for a year. It’s a lonely existence. Q How did you support yourself while writing the book? A It went to auction. There was a bidding war. Q Wow, fantastic for a first time author. I was shocked! A It was on the basis of a synopsis and the first 3 chapters. Q You had an agent? A Yes a friend of mine in ABC Drama sent it off to the agent. It was actually a synopsis with some re-worked emails. In Timor whenever I could get email access I would write a group email. And it became popular. People would say “oh you’ve got a book in you.” So that’s how it all started. Q You’ve unveiled East Timor in your book in a way no-one else has – what will Ramos Horta think of it? A He has been aware of the book since its inception. I’ve told him about certain passages and been very blunt and told him that the PM is not going to like it and that he may receive some criticism for it. But yes I do worry about it a lot. I compared the whole thing to Bill Bryson’s book on Australia – he didn’t paint a fabulously positive picture of Australia and Downer didn’t object to it. I believe it is a realistic portrait of East Timor and it’s come about from experience. I’m not someone who just blew in for five days and spent my time in a luxury hotel with a suitcase of smoked salmon. And I wrote about it, I thought, with affection. Q Do you believe East Timor will finally find it’s feet? A Absolutely. Look at the UN contribution and the billions of dollars that have gone into the place. But you can’t deny there are some terrible problems there, such as the summary abuse of women. The terribly high child mortality rate. Enormous numbers of illiteracy. Basic utilities they don’t have that Australians can’t imagine going without.

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