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September 21, 2005

Cranky cockatiel

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Question:

How do I stop my cockatiel from biting me or anyone that comes near him? He is eight months old and beautiful.

Mary Nelson

Answer:

Biting birds are certainly not unusual. They usually do it if they feel a little frightened or out of control. They also do it for play reasons, so it depends on how hard he’s biting and what the rest of his body language says as to why he’s chomping on your fingers! What you must do though, is teach him that this is unacceptable behaviour. Handle him gently and take things slowly. If he’s frightened, don’t drag him out of the cage; just offer a finger to him. When he has had a sniff and he’s happy, try stroking his head. Offer a food treat — save his favourite thing for these therapy sessions so it’s pleasurable for him.

It might take a week or two, but if you take things slowly and he doesn’t feel threatened he will warm to the idea of being handled. If he nips, calmly put him away — soon he’ll make the connection between good behaviour and pats and food, with bad behaviour meaning back in the cage and no nice nibbles!

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September 21, 2005

Eyelash perm

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Question:

I want to get an eyelash perm. I just want to know if it’s safe and will it damage my eyelashes? Where is a good salon I can go to?

Ava June

Answer:

I would suggest you invest in a great eyelash curler instead. There is no need to perm your lashes, especially with all the great mascaras around that lengthen and curl lashes.

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September 15, 2005

Bald cat

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Question:

My cat has been losing hair from her stomach and thighs. The hair loss started 16 months ago when my son was born and is steadily getting worse. I assume she is stressed. How do I calm her and stop her over-grooming?

Suzanne Casson

Answer:

I think you are right on the money thinking that this is stress-related, and this is a very common problem. Cats are fastidious groomers at the best of times, but some anxious individuals use it as a means of releasing nervous energy (or at least as a distraction from the source of the tension) — a bit like a person biting their nails. It can become an obsessive compulsive condition over time. You need to try some anti-anxiety medication (anti-depressants, not sedatives) with her and give it four to six weeks to work. There are pheromone vaporisers available that can also help anxious cats. Give her some quiet cuddle time when your bub goes to bed to let her know she is still safe and loved. Get your vet to check the skin just in case something else is going on with the skin at the same time.

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September 15, 2005

Healthy hearts

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By Annette Campbell

To coincide with this year’s World Heart Day on September 25, we’ve gone to the experts for some advice about keeping our hearts healthy.

“Being overweight and carrying that excess weight, particularly around the abdomen (being ‘apple-shaped’), is a major risk for heart disease, reducing the likely age of your first heart attack by about four to eight years,” he says.

“Coronary heart disease is the number one killer in Australia. It causes 18 percent of all deaths. And we know this is largely preventable. Nine out of 10 people have at least one modifiable risk factor, while 25 percent have three or more risk factors. So prevention is very important.”

Here are Professor Tonkin’s top tips for heart health.

Quit smoking.

Depending on the age you quit, you can regain quite a few years of your life. If you quit by 30, you could regain 10 years you might otherwise lose.

Be physically active.

A good prescription is 30 minutes of moderate activity (such as a brisk walk) on most days. And you don’t have to do it all at once.

Eat healthily.

Decrease your intake of saturated fat by eating lean red meat, taking the skin off chicken and choosing reduced fat rather than full-fat dairy products.

Enjoy two meals of fish each week and plenty of fruit, vegetables and grain-based food.

Keep an eye on your blood pressure.

There is a significant link between high blood pressure and hardening of arteries and heart failure later in life.

So have your GP check your blood pressure, as it can be modified by changes in lifestyle such as physical activity, avoiding excess salt (especially from processed foods), moderating alcohol intake and losing weight.

Check cholesterol.

If your cholesterol hasn’t been checked, I’d recommend it be checked at the age of 45 as part of a cardiovascular check-up — or earlier if you have a significant family history of premature coronary disease in a parent less than the age of 60 or another risk factor such as smoking or high blood pressure.

For more information about World Heart Day and the Heart Foundation’s message about abdominal obesity, phone the Heartline on 1300 36 27 87.

You can also visit their website: www.heartfoundation.com.au

Picture posed by model.

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September 15, 2005

Annie tipped the scales at 89kg: now 71kg

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When Annie Bristol — a 36-year-old registered nurse and mother-of-three from Springfield, near Brisbane, Qld — tipped the scales at 89kg, she knew she had to do something about it.

“I remember thinking that the only time I’d been this heavy was when I was pregnant with my twins, who are now four, Thomas and Sarah,” she recalls. “I stacked on weight during that pregnancy and found it very difficult to lose afterwards.

“Then when I was pregnant with my third child, Matthew, now one, my husband and I separated, so I ate lots of comfort food — things like cheese, creamy pastas, garlic bread, or nachos with sour cream.

“Anyway, when I realised I was up to 89kg, I started exercising but didn’t really change anything regarding food. Then I read about Betalife, and started with them in January this year.

“My whole mind-set has changed. Now I’m eating to live, not living to eat. I try to eat foods still in their natural state, rather than processed. I never liked salads, but now I eat heaps. So it’s been a big change of eating habits.

“I’ve also started walking a lot more — to kindy to pick-up the kids, to the shops to get milk. And I’ve bought a treadmill, so when the kids go to bed at 8pm, I’ll go onto the treadmill for 40 minutes. And I’m playing netball twice a week too.

“Now, I feel fabulous and it’s good to go shopping for size 12 jeans … I was getting really close to those 18s at one stage!”

Annie’s vital statistics

Weight before: 89kg.

Weight after: 71kg.

Total weight loss: 18kg.

Clothing size was: 16.

Clothing size is now: 12.

Annie’s hot diet tip

“I cut down on processed foods and ate salads, vegetables and fruit as much as possible. I guess my motto is: if it’s white (things like bread, potato, pasta), avoid it or eat it occasionally.”

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September 15, 2005

Does coffee make you fat?

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It may not be what you eat but what you drink that’s making you fat. I had a client who recently told me that she couldn’t understand why she wasn’t losing weight. A food diary audit revealed that she consumed 2980kj a day in coffees alone. That equates to more than half the average recommended energy allowance for weight loss.

While most of us know that soft drinks and alcohol are full of sugar and empty kilojoules, many don’t realise that coffee (even if made with low-fat milk) may also be the cause of their inability to lose weight.

Coffee is an institution in Australia. Coffee is no longer a mug of instant grains with hot water and a splash of milk. In some circles it’s as revered as wine, with the same amount of snobbery attached to the brand of bean as there is to a type of grape.

Business deals, blind dates, make-ups and break-ups, hanging out with friends — all this takes place with coffee as the mediator. For some, until they get their first caffeine hit, the brain refuses to function.

Our Italian immigrants are responsible for Australia’s café society and thanks to them many of us now won’t even consider a chemically altered instant brew. It’s enjoyed by many, including myself, but if you’re trying to lose weight you must consider how much you’re drinking.

Coffee chains everywhere offer various cup sizes, milk options and added flavours. These days it’s not uncommon to see people walking around with vessels more reminiscent of a bucket than a cup.

While the Italians might drink a short black espresso at the start of the day, our global exploitation of this zero kilojoule heart-starter is a large or extra large latte or cappuccino.

Even without sugar it adds up, as the below shows, and while many people substitute a huge coffee for a meal, it is no substitute for a healthy life (or healthy weight loss).

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September 14, 2005

Hazel eyes

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Question:

I have hazel eyes, brown hair and a warm skin tone. What eyeshadow would compliment my eyes for the day and evening?

Thank you,

Serena Beke

Answer:

You could wear just about any colour. But the lovely greens that are around would really bring out the colour of your eyes. Mix them up with taupe browns and soft pinks. It really is a great colour combination.

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September 11, 2005

I slept with my boyfriend’s best friend

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It was just another beautiful weekend; waking up beside my man of a year-and-a-half — except something was different now. Every morning that I woke up with him from this day on would now be a lie. I had done the worst thing.

Tom and I met through a mutual friend and we hit it off straight away. He was the sexiest guy I had ever met (complete with washboard abs) and he made me laugh so much that my stomach hurt. It wasn’t long before we were going out and I was staying at his house most nights. I would buy the food and clean the house while he was at work, and try and entertain myself until he got home. But trying to do that now was not an option. I couldn’t even look in his beautiful eyes because I knew he would see right through me. I am a hopeless liar and he knows it.

My problem with Tom began with insecurity. I had no trust in Tom at all and it didn’t help that whispers of cheating and random girls were always in my ears. In fact, Tom’s best friend Matt had told me that he seen Tom with another woman and that Tom had sent him a text message to brag about it. I would cry myself to sleep beside Tom but I stayed with him any way — I loved him. Things began to get difficult as I would spy on Tom, check his phone and ask 20 questions when he came home late. I guess you could say I had it coming but I turned the tables.

One particular night, I was out with Matt driving around. I had just had a big fight with Tom (because of him allegedly cheating on me) and was feeling that payback would suffice and teach him a lesson. I asked Matt to pull over the car and before I knew it, we were having sex in the back of it! We both swore not to say a word about it because we both would have so much to lose.

Of course, afterwards when I saw Tom I realised how much I loved him. I have been trying my hardest to act normal and pretend things are okay but Tom isn’t stupid and is always trying to coax it out of me. One day I will crack and confess it to him … one day when I’m ready to face the consequences.

My own stupid insecurity led to me deceiving an honest man and I know, like karma suggests, that eventually I will pay for it.

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September 11, 2005

I made my ex pay!

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Three weeks after our engagement party I saw my fiancé Tessa in the arms of another man outside her work. I had planned to surprise her for lunch. When I pulled up I saw her talking to a well-built man with blonde hair and sunglasses on. A few seconds later I realised it was her ex-boyfriend Mark. I was about to beep the horn to get her attention but before I knew it she was kissing him passionately and snuggling into his neck. Needless to say I was in shock and I even hid as they walked over to his car hand in hand and drove away.

I drove to a park and sat in the car in silence for about an hour, not even thinking. I couldn’t feel or comprehend anything. After what seemed like forever, I started to feel more anger than I had in my entire life. I felt betrayed and humiliated. I thought about the home we had shared for the past two years and her constant questions about my own ex, how she would accuse me of still being in love with her when I hadn’t thought of or felt anything for anyone else but her since we’d met. I thought about the day I proposed and how happy she appeared to be, then I visualised them kissing and hugging in the open for anyone to see. I wanted her to pay for it.

That afternoon I devised a plan as I drove to my parent’s house (they happened to be out of town for the weekend). I rang our home number and left a message that I was staying at Mum and Dad’s for the night because one of the dogs was sick and I wanted to keep an eye on it. I tried to sound as normal as possible. Later she rang and left a message, saying how much she would miss me and that she’d see me after she finished work tomorrow. That was the first time since I realised we were over that I cried and I didn’t stop for hours.

I knew Tessa’s schedule like the back of my hand and I quietly let myself in the front door of our home at 8.10am the next morning. Sure enough, she was in the shower. She always took her engagement ring off and placed it back in the box whenever she showered. I had noticed that she left the box in different spots most mornings and I had said more than once that she should be more careful whenever she’d looked puzzled as to where she’d left it that morning. I found the box on her dresser, picked it up and left as quietly as I had come in. She had no clue I had even been home. I went to the jeweller I bought the ring from, told the sad story that my offer of marriage had not been accepted and because I looked like a man destroyed, the manager took the ring and receipt I had kept in my wallet and agreed to return the $5230 to my account without much hassle.

After that, I went home and packed my bags. I was waiting for Tessa when she walked through the front door and said that I saw her with Mark a few hours ago, taking a chance that they had indeed been together that day as well. I was right. She broke down and told the story of the last few months during which she and Mark had “found each other” again. I said I was leaving and demanded the ring back, knowing full well she didn’t have it. She burst into tears, saying she had lost it and had spent ages looking for it that morning before work. I screamed that it had cost over $5000. She was hysterical and begged me to stay and for my forgiveness. I said I was leaving and that I had better have my ring back by the end of the week or I would sue her and the whole town would know about her “tarting around”. I could still hear her sobs as I pulled my car away and left.

At the end of that week she went to my parents’ house and gave my mum an envelope to give to me. Inside was a cheque for $5230 and a long letter from her apologising and explaining that it was completely over with her and Mark and that she had used her wedding dress money and savings to pay me back. She asked for forgiveness and a second chance. I screwed up the letter and used the money (more than $10,000 in total) to start my life over. I have never looked back.

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September 9, 2005

My weight loss secret

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I have lost 15kg in the last nine months since giving birth to my second child. The only real change I made to my diet was to stop eating bread and look for other alternatives such as wholemeal pita bread, rye crispbreads, etc. Before it was too easy for me to grab two pieces of bread, throw in a cheese slice and have a quick snack and/or lunch. Now that I am avoiding bread I find myself making the effort to add some salad and tuna or chicken. Good luck — it worked for me, I hope it works for someone else too.

Amy Gledstone

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