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Wet paws

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Fleas

Question:

We seem to have a never-ending flea problem and it’s costing an arm and a leg! Is there anything we can do in one big bang that will help bring the problem under control?

Peta Salmon

Answer:

Fleas can be very difficult to eradicate, as you have found out. I’m sure you have used flea products on your pet, but just in case I’ll go through that. You need to use a monthly spot-on product available from your vet which has a residual effect, ie. it keeps killing fleas for a month. With some of these you need to be careful your pet doesn’t get wet for a day or two after application. You also need to know that you are applying it properly. There are also tablets available which, while having no ongoing action, will quickly kill those fleas on your pet right now to get the ball rolling.

However, the fleas on the animal are only a small fraction of the numbers present in the environment, so you need to work out where they are coming from and breeding. If the pet lives indoors, regular hot washes of any bedding, rugs, etc, as well as vacuuming to pick up any microscopic eggs is in order. Flea bombs or environmental sprays may be of use (with caution), but I’d suggest you get advice from your vet about how best to treat under your specific circumstances.

Fleas like warm, dark areas, so under furniture, in bedding and outside under houses and bushes are trouble spots. You must treat all dogs and cats in the household regularly, even if they don’t appear to have a problem, as they may carry fleas but not be as itchy as more sensitive or allergic individuals. Winter is usually when the problem dies down, but depending on the environmental temperature those pesky fleas can stick around all year round and this year is proving to be particularly problematic!

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I lied to save their marriage

I had just moved to the city, found myself a cute little apartment and begun the tiresome chore of unpacking. While cleaning out the drawers in the main bedroom, the bottom drawer base slipped out to reveal a secret hiding spot containing two shoeboxes and a diary. They’d been left behind by the last tenant and contained very juicy letters, notes, printed e-mails and diary entries.

Over the next few weeks, each night I would sit down with a glass of wine and immerse myself in the interesting and racy life of Michelle Harper. The things this girl got up to made my own heart skip a beat. I began to wonder why she would leave such personal belongings behind.

One evening while taking out my rubbish, I began talking to one of my new neighbours. I asked if they had known the girl who lived there before me. I was shocked at the response and realised why the items had been left behind. Michelle didn’t pack her belongings — she had been in a terrible car accident and died. Her family came to fetch her belongings two weeks before I moved to the city.

From then on, I felt a sense of compassion as I read the entries of this young girl who’d lost her vibrant life. I didn’t know what to do with the items and after reading them I knew they couldn’t be returned to her loved ones. I thought it would be heartbreaking for them to read the things she got up to and didn’t want to tarnish any memories they had. I decided to just let it go and continue living my own life.

Eight months passed and then one day I received a long-distance phone call. It was a guy who wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways, blubbering, “Michelle, I know I said we wouldn’t call you again, but we can’t move past it. It’s been tormenting us for two years and I’m about to lose everything that matters. Why did you tell Lisa those lies about us, you lying b****? Can’t you just do the right thing and end this once and for all — tell her, tell her nothing happened between us! Why have you done this to us? I have so much to live for and you’re taking it all away.”

I could hear a woman crying in the background and screaming things like, “Just tell me the truth, I can’t live like this any more.” I also heard two upset children; one sounded like a baby. Once he stopped, there was a long pause and a lot of crying at the other end of the phone. I felt overwhelmed and saw an opportunity to make something good happen.

“Okay”, I began, “I’ll tell her nothing happened but you have to promise to never hurt her again. You should cherish your family and realise you put them in this situation.”

I knew who I was talking to. From what he’d said and the diary entries, it could have only been one man, Jack Thompson. He handed the phone to his wife. I was so nervous about being in the middle of this and, worse yet, possibly being caught out. I felt a burst of courage and put on a remorseful voice. “I lied; everything I told you was a lie. Nothing ever happened between us, I just wanted it to so I made up the whole affair. I was young and stupid and I’m sorry I did this to your family; I hope you can move on now. I’m very sorry for what I have done.”

There was a pause and then the sobbing woman at the end of the phone began screaming and hurling abuse at me. “You b****, how could you do this? You destroyed us for so long. Do you think it’s fun playing games with people’s lives? All this time we could have been happy. I hope you suffer, we are going to live long and happy together and I hope you grow old and lonely.”

I let her continue until finally she was reduced to soft sobbing and thanking me for finally telling the truth. After I got off the phone, I thought long and hard and wondered if I had done the right thing. I had my phone number changed and burnt Michelle’s personal belongings.

I still think about it to this day and wonder if their marriage worked out and if I did the right thing. Every time I think I haven’t, the sound of those children crying comes back to me and I remember my parents’ divorce when I was five. If they ever find out about Michelle’s death, then I guess it will be on again. Who knows? I hope they’ve moved forward into happier times.

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Colouring hair

Question:

Hello Mary!

About two months ago, I had my salon change my platinum blonde hair to a deep, dark auburn brown. I went through all the required things, like treatments, a new trim etc but now I’m considering going back to my blonde look. My hairdresser has told me that to go back blonde would be a risk because my hair could break off at the line where my last bleach was done (so with two months’ regrowth that would leave me about an inch of hair!).

I’m over my brown locks but don’t want to risk my hair falling out! I get protein treatments done every month at the salon, trim it regularly as it is halfway down my back, and it is in fairly good condition, as I let it dry naturally all the time and only straighten it approximately once a week. Is there anything I can do to get my blonde look back? Or would I be better off just loving my brunette locks?

Siobhan

Answer:

I would suggest that you listen to your hairdresser as he or she know just how porous and weak your hair is. I personally would learn to love my locks until at least high summer when you can re-evaluate the condition of your hair. I would also like to suggest that you purchase a strengthening shampoo and conditioner and give yourself weekly conditioning treatments. Kerastase have a range called cement that is excellent.

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I was my boss’s online mistress

A while back in my early 20s I was working in a very large corporation headed by a very serious and uptight CEO. Thomas was a distinguished looking man in his mid 50s and seemed like the type of person that had never done anything out of line or remotely spontaneous in his life. He would never give us workers the time of day except to criticise or complain that not enough work was getting done.

Thomas would make us stay back until we had finished all the tasks we had been set and most of us would not get out of the building until well after 7pm each night. One evening I decided to pay back my unpleasant boss by making myself a new work e-mail address, on a different computer no one used, in the name of Mandy. I sent him a slightly racy e-mail telling him how much I was attracted to him and how I would love to be his very own private assistant. Pleased with my revenge I shut the computer down and went home wishing I could see his face when he read the e-mail.

The next day, before I went home, I waited until the coast was clear and logged in to Mandy’s e-mail address. I was shocked to find an e-mail from Thomas. He thanked me for the e-mail and told me that it was a turn-on and that he would like me to reveal my identity so that we could have a night of passion. Sure that he was trying to blow my cover to sack me, I decided to apologise in my reply and told him this would not happen again.

Days passed and I couldn’t help myself — I had to check Mandy’s e-mails one more time. I was surprised to find two new messages from Thomas. The first message was saying that my real identity was not important and that it excited him because I was mysterious and pleaded with me to write back. The second e-mail had a picture attached of a semi-naked Thomas sitting on his desk wearing just his briefs and a tie. Dumbfounded, I realised this was not a joke or an attempt to sack me; this seemingly boring man had a very wicked side.

I continued sending e-mails to him for some unexplained reason and these began to get very hot and heavy and extremely explicit. He sent me more pictures of himself, each more daring than the last and I replied by sending him pictures that I had found in an underwear catalogue.

Weeks went by and our online affair continued, I even noticed Thomas was becoming much more light-hearted and animated within the workplace.

Finally I knew this had to stop when Thomas wrote and said he had genuine feelings for me and wanted to have sex for real instead of via e-mail.

I felt terrible for leading Thomas on just to get my kicks and felt even worse for his poor wife and decided to never e-mail him again — not even to offer him an explanation.

I had to leave my job shortly after as the guilt of what I had done hit home. As for the incriminating pictures of Thomas, I decided to delete them instead of destroying his reputation. After all we had been through I felt some strange loyalty to him.

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Dry skin

Question:

I have recently flown overseas and my skin and hair is very dry. I have exfoliated and used moisturising cream — what else can you suggest?

Patsy

Answer:

You may need a professional facial as it sounds to me like your skin has some dry surface skin build-up or you may be using the incorrect products for your skin’s needs. I would suggest that you visit a skincare counter and ask for a few different samples to see which ones work before you buy.

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GP checklist

By Annette Campbell

To coincide with the AMA’s Family Doctor Week, we asked Dr Rosanna Capolingua — a Perth-based practicing GP, and chair of the Australian Medical Association’s Ethics Committee — what she thinks most doctors would really like us to know.

So the next time you phone to make an appointment to see your GP, try to keep the following in mind …

If you have a few problems you’d like to discuss with your doctor — or maybe need a full check-up or something like a Pap test — book a “long” appointment. Making this clear when you make your appointment means the GP can give you the time you need.

If you can’t make it to your appointment, phone and cancel. It really helps to let the receptionist know. This means other patients don’t miss out.

If you know your doctor tends to run a bit late, phone a little while beforehand and see how he’s going that day. This saves you having to wait too long. And keep in mind that if you do have to wait because the doctor’s taking a little longer with patients, she will take that time with you, too.

Turn off your mobile phone. I’ve actually had patients who not only leave the phone on, but then answer it if it rings in the middle of a consultation! It’s important that time with your doctor is well-focussed.

If your GP asks you questions such as, “Do you feel pain here or there?” or “Is there anything else?” — don’t feel that you must say “yes”. If the answer’s genuinely “no”, say so. Always give answers that are real to you.

Be honest. If you are drinking five glasses of wine every night, don’t tell your doctor you’re having one. Or, if you’re smoking 20 cigarettes a day, don’t say “one or two”. These things are all very important details, and your medical management will be based on the information you provide. It really helps us to help you, by providing accurate details.

In order for you to feel as comfortable as possible through the appointment, think about the best way to dress for your check-up … a button-up shirt might suit you best for a breast examination, for example.

Don’t feel personally targeted if your GP wants to weigh you and measure your waist. Weight is a health issue — nothing personal.

July 17-23 is the AMA’s Family Doctor Week and this year the theme is: “GPs are life-savers”.

Picture posed by models.

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Those Garrison Women

Exclusive extract from Those Garrison Women by Louise Shaffer, published by Bantam.

The newspaper could have been hers. Hank had been toying with the idea of selling it for a couple of years, and Peggy had offered to buy it for her. Peggy Garrison had been her friend, as were the two other members of a trio of older women known in town as the three Miss Margarets. They were Dr Margaret Long, Margaret Elizabeth Banning, and Mrs Margaret Garrison, known as Dr Maggie, Miss Li’l Bit, and Miss Peggy, respectively.

Dr. Maggie was in her late eighties and still ran the clinic where she’d been treating patients since the 1930s. Miss Li’l Bit was in her late seventies and had a pedigree as impressive as the fortune she used to fund charities throughout the state. Miss Peggy was in her mid-sixties, and while her family tree might not have been as illustrious as the Bannings’, the fortune she’d inherited when she became Widow Garrison was even bigger than Miss Li’l Bit’s. And she used it just as generously.

Most of Charles Valley addressed the trio formally with the emphasis on the titles “Doctor” and “Miss.” Laurel was one of the privileged few who was close enough to call them simply Maggie, Li’l Bit, and Peggy. She was the only person in town who joined them every afternoon on the porch of Li’l Bit’s antebellum home to chat and sip the beverage of her choice as the sun went down.

There could not have been a more unlikely combo than thirty-five-year-old Laurel and the three older women, who were all icons of Charles Valley respectability. Laurel’s past was, to put it politely, colourful. Her mother, Sara Jayne, had been a drunk with a high profile at the major and minor honky-tonks along Highway 22. Her daddy, who hadn’t lived long enough to see Laurel born or give her his name, was equally well known as a murderer who then went out and got himself killed over the affections of a black woman in a scandal that still lived in the hearts and minds of many of the townspeople, even though it was thirty-six years old. The fact that Laurel Selene, with her family history, was welcome at the sacred afternoon gathering of the three Miss Margarets drove the Charles Valley grapevine nuts.

Laurel turned on the light and studied herself in the mirror over the sink. The face that started back at her was a series of circles: round cheeks, round brown eyes, a round mouth, and a rounded nose. It was an old-fashioned country face, free of makeup, because she had no patience for it, and framed by a mass of red hair she usually kept pulled back in an unhip ponytail. She’d never land on the cover of a magazine, but that was fine with her. She’d always had her own way of being memorable. When she was in the mood, she’d let her hair fly free, put on a tank top, jeans with a wide belt, and cowboy boots. It was a true and tried outfit that showed off her good boobs, small waist, and the long legs she’d inherited from her ma. With a couple of beers in her she could pretty much get any kind of attention she wanted – and some she regretted after the fact.

Laurel looked at her face in the mirror. “Oh, what the hell,” she said. She opened her purse and took out the black and gold makeup case Peggy had given her.

“I hope you don’t take this wrong,” Peggy had said tentatively, “but you’re such a pretty girl…” She’d trailed off. Because that was two years ago and all of the three Miss Margarets were tentative with her then. In some ways, Li’l Bit and Maggie still were. But Peggy had reached out.

“When I was young, I wanted a baby more than anything” she’d said, when she gave Laurel the makeup case. “A little girl. I was going to name her Amanda. Don’t tell Li’l Bit and Maggie, but I used to talk to her sometimes. I told her she’d never be afraid of anything, and if anyone ever tried to call her Mandy she should spit in their eye.” She let out a wicked little giggle. And for a moment Laurel could see how she’d managed to capture the heart of Dalton Garrison so many years ago. Then the giggle died. “I never did have her, of course,” Peggy said. “But if I had, she’d be about your age.”

Laurel dumped the contents of the makeup case into Hank’s sink and found the mascara wand. “This one’s for you, Peggy,” she murmured, as she began to unscrew the top. The mascara was old and dry because she never used it, although for a while, when Peggy was bedridden and near the end, Laurel had tried for her sake.

“Don’t you ever let anyone tell you keeping up appearances is shallow, sugar,” Peggy’s tired voice had whispered from the bed. “You just put on your face and tell yourself you’re doing a public service. No one ever felt better by looking at a woman who let herself go.”

Two days later Peggy didn’t know who she was talking to. “I fixed everything for you, Amanda,” she’d said.

Her voice was so far gone by then that Laurel had to bend over to hear her. But the wasted hand that held Laurel’s was amazingly strong. And hot – even now, Laurel could still remember the heat.

“They’ll try…” Peggy had started to say, but the mists that had been carrying her in and out of consciousness took over, and she had to struggle to pull herself back, “Don’t let…” she got out before the mists took over. “Don’t let them…”

“It’s okay, Peggy, I won’t let them do it,” Laurel whispered, and wished to God she knew what they were talking about.

A dried flake of mascara, the size of a boulder by the feel of it, had lodged itself under Laurel’s eyelid. Which could have been an accident. Or a warning from on high about the morning ahead of her.

“Stop stalling,” she said to her refection in the mirror. “You promised you were going over there today.” Because this was the day when she had to deal with the way in which Peggy had “fixed” everything for her.

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Puffy morning eyes

Question:

When I wake up I have extremely puffy eyes! I moisturise the night before, and do not want to stop doing this, but I do think this might be the problem. Any quick and easy solutions?

Clare

Answer:

You may be using a moisturiser nightly, which is great, but you really need to keep your regular moisturiser away from your eye area as it is too strong for this delicate area. Invest in a gel-based eye treatment as it will be less likely to irritate your eyes. Clarins have a great one.

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I left my husband for his cousin

At school I was skinny with braces on my teeth and fairly average in looks. I wasn’t even able to find a date for the school dance, so I feigned illness and didn’t attend. Secretly I longed for one particular guy, Mike. He was a super-cool surfer type and lived quite close to me. Although I saw him on the school bus every day, he never acknowledged my presence in any way.

In the last summer holidays before I finished school for good, I went to the local swimming pool one really hot day and started swimming lengths of the pool. I was swimming up and down like a robot when someone grabbed at my swimsuit. I tried to shake them off, but when they persisted, I stopped and looked to see who it was. It was Mike! I tried not to look happy or even shocked. I just stared at him. Inside, though, my heart was beating like a drum and my legs had turned to jelly. Mike just laughed. He must have been able to sense how I felt. He held up a set of keys and jiggled them in my face. I realised that they were my house keys. I’d pinned them to my swimsuit and they’d fallen off in the water. How lucky that he’d found them!

I thanked him profusely and offered to buy him a coffee. I was thrilled when he accepted. I was a little bit lost for words but he seemed to be quite happy to talk about himself. He told me some news that broke my heart. The next month his family was moving interstate and he was going with them. I had finally met him and now he was leaving. Nevertheless, he seemed quite happy to be in my company. He even asked me to meet him at the pool the next day. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

We spent the next day together, then he drove me home. My parents were at work so I invited him in for a cup of tea. We walked in and the moment the door was closed he grabbed me in his arms and kissed me passionately. My dreams had come true! It was my first kiss and definitely worth waiting for. That holiday was the most magical time of my life. We went to the beach, to the movies, even on a picnic together. I cried and cried when he went interstate.

Years later when I was 23, I met Tom at university. He was doing the same degree as me and we had a lot in common. He wanted to have children and I knew he would be a good father, so when he proposed I said yes straight away. We decided to have a really nice wedding and I said I wanted three bridesmaids and the whole works. He chose his two best friends and his cousin from interstate as groomsmen.

On the day of the wedding I arrived at the church looking as gorgeous as I was ever going to. As I stepped out of the wedding car, I practically fell into the arms of one of the groomsmen. I looked up and couldn’t believe my eyes. It was Mike! He was the cousin from interstate! He hugged me and told me how beautiful I looked and how he’d never forgotten me. He kissed me gently on the lips and wished me luck. Suddenly I realised that I shouldn’t be marrying Tom. Mike was the one I really loved. Unfortunately, the church was full of guests — some from overseas, others from interstate. There was no going back. I bit my lip and proceeded with the ceremony.

When Tom wanted to know why I looked so unhappy, I told him that all the excitement had given me a migraine. He was so understanding. He suggested that I go and lie down in an empty room at the reception lounge until I felt a bit better. Mike was hovering nearby and overheard his suggestion. As soon as I entered that room, he followed me in and locked the door. He was all over me. When he kissed me again, I knew that my marriage was a sham. How could I stay with Tom when Mike turned my heart upside down?

That night I told Tom that he’d have to ‘wait’ till the next day as my migraine was so intense. Fortunately, we’d planned to take our honeymoon the next month, as Tom was very busy at work. The next morning I ducked over to Mike’s hotel and consummated my marriage with Mike. He agreed that I shouldn’t go back to Tom and with his help I packed a bag of clothes — that afternoon we flew interstate, back to his home.

My selfish actions ruined Tom’s life and embarrassed my family severely. My parents refused to speak to me for years. Finally, after the first flush of love had worn off, I came to regret my actions, as guilt ate me up.

In the end my guilt forced me to leave Mike and fly back home, where I tried to start my life anew. I’ve heard that Tom never married again. He joined a religious organisation and went overseas to do aid work in underdeveloped countries. His parents blamed me for losing their son overseas and my parents continued to blame me for making them a laughing stock.

Now, five years later, I wouldn’t care if I never met another man again. I got what I wanted and, believe me, it wasn’t worth losing my family and my self-respect for.

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