I’ve never been very lucky in love. I’ve gone from one failed relationship to the next, which is definitely not a good way to be. One year I made a New Year’s resolution to go without men for six months. I made it to two before I was back to my old bad habits. This time though, I wanted to try something new: see if I could get it right.
I invited the girls around for drinks and as usual, they were only too excited to help me with my man troubles. It was settled that Internet dating was the way to go. The next afternoon, I dragged myself to my computer, sat down and began to write a profile on a well known singles site.
This was frightening. I didn’t know who would be looking at what I had written or who’d be looking at my photo, so I decided to keep my photo for those who e-mailed me first. After putting my profile up on the site, I browsed the other profiles in search of Mr Right. Although I found Mr Rich, Mr Clingy and Mr Crazy, none of them was quite what I was looking for, so I gave up for the day.
That night I went out to dinner with my aunty who was visiting town. We had been very close ever since I was a little girl. She was also bringing my cousin Oliver. Oliver and I used to play all the time when we were children, but we hadn’t seen each other in years, so it was bound to be an interesting night. We met at a nice restaurant near my apartment and had a great night of conversation and good food. Oliver was doing well for himself. He owned his own small business and was only 27! Funnily enough, he too was Internet dating, which was an interesting topic of conversation.
When I got home, I sat down in front of the television for a few hours before my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to try the dating site again. After searching through another few profiles, I found one that sounded promising: short black hair, young, fit, handsome, businessman who enjoys tennis, movies and cuddles. Sounded perfect for me, so I sent him the default message of interest.
After five more minutes of browsing, I got a message back from tall, dark and handsome. He was interested in my profile! I couldn’t believe my luck. I hastily set up a chat room for the two of us and before I knew it, we were chatting away into the night. It was only small talk and flirting, but I was loving every second of it. He was sweet, funny and charming and I was having a great time talking to him.
I looked over at the clock and it was already two in the morning! I told him I had to go and he said he wanted to meet me. Something told me it probably wasn’t a great idea to meet him so soon, but my heart won over my brain and I began making arrangements for dinner the following night. I said good night and went straight to bed with a huge smile on my face.
The entire next day was spent fretting over what to wear, what make-up to use and what perfume to put on! My excitement was so overpowering that I hardly even realised I’d known this man for five hours and didn’t even know his name!
The time came to go to the restaurant we had chosen and if I do say so myself, I was looking hot! I brought a red rose with me and he was going to too, so that we could identify each other. During the cab ride there, my girlfriends texted me all their messages of luck and encouragement and the nerves began to set in.
I stepped into the restaurant sheepishly looking around for someone I recognised so that I might get out of this. However, after taking a few steps, I started to regain my confidence and looked around for a red rose. The man of my dreams was sitting alone in the restaurant waiting to meet me and sweep me off my feet into a life of romance and luxury, I just knew it.
Suddenly I caught a glimpse of a rose petal across the room. I walked slowly towards the table and saw a man with black hair sitting with his back to me. My heat pounding with excitement, I reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder. His head slowly turned as his eyes rose to meet mine and I stood frozen in horror.
It was none other than my cousin Oliver. That’s right, I was out on a date with the man of my dreams, my cousin! I was so embarrassed I almost died on the spot, but he was very nice about it and we ended up having a nice dinner anyway.
I have never been able to live this down with my friends and family. It definitely was my worst dating mishap to date.
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