By Annette Campbell
New Year’s Eve is traditionally the time we reflect on the past 12 months and resolve to make all sorts of changes in the next year. How many times have we promised ourselves that “next year” we’ll quit smoking, lose weight or quit that boring job?
But Jo Lamble — a Sydney-based clinical psychologist — says that New Year’s resolutions are generally a bad idea that can set us up for failure.
“They’re usually based on wishful thinking rather than commitment,” she explains. “If you’re committed to getting fit, being healthy, changing your job … start today.”
Jo says we tend to feel pressure to make such resolutions at this time of year because we’re thinking ahead — and things seem more possible when they’re in the future.
“It’s when you reflect on the year that’s gone, and also when you’re starting a new year,” she says. “So during the holidays it’s not a bad idea to think about some goals and changes you might need to make — maybe regarding work, the house, kids. It’s a good chance to reassess and set realistic goals, but don’t feel pressure to make any big decisions on New Year’s Eve itself.”
Jo says the most common New Year’s resolutions are to quit smoking, and lose weight.
“And they both take a lot of commitment. If you’re going to do these ‘big’ things, you need to plan it — how’s it going to happen? What’s your support system? These are lifestyle decisions that shouldn’t be treated flippantly. Smoking and weight loss are very serious health issues that need to be taken seriously and have your full commitment — and a plan.”
Jo believes that the best New Year’s resolutions to make are smaller, more achievable ones.
“Normally the big ones are wishful thinking and people hope they’ll happen because they’ve made a wish,” she says. “You might as well add to your list that you’ll make a million dollars.
“Better resolutions would be something like saving an extra $20 or $50 a week, or exercising once or twice a week, being more tolerant, or catching up with friends. But people don’t do that — instead they say things like ‘I’ll get skinny’ or ‘I’ll stop smoking’. And that’s just setting yourself up for failure.
“And maybe the best resolution is just to have a good night!”
Repeat offenders
So what about those of us who make the same resolutions year after year … after year?
“That can really cause some damage,” Jo explains. “Your confidence level would be going down every year and you can become resigned to the situation. Stop thinking about things relative to New Year’s Eve, and just do it now.
“But remember that changes take planning and life-changing big decisions must be informed to minimise the chance of regret.
“You might want to resign from your job, but if you haven’t worked out where you’re going or what you’ll be doing next, it can cause a collapse of confidence.
“So plan carefully and consider the steps you need to take. And talk things through with someone — friends, family or a professional such as a psychologist or counsellor, for an objective opinion.”
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