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Left Bank

Left Bank

Exclusive extract from Left Bank by Kate Muir.

Olivier was in Barthélémy’s cheese shop on the Rue de Grenelle, his nostrils flaring on delight at the loamy, buttery smell. You could leave the cooking up to the maid, but not the selection of cheeses for a dinner party. Was it not Olivier’s favourite foodie, Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, who said back in 1825: ‘Dessert without cheese is like a pretty girl with only one eye’? Exactly. Olivier was not merely a popular and unexpectedly handsome philosopher, but what the French call a gastrophilosophe: a man who understands that food is for the soul.

In many ways, food is what had started to drive Madison and him apart on their marriage. It was Olivier’s fate to have a passion for slim, elegant women, and to fall out of love with them as they either maintained their steely form against his sensual gastronomy or, worse still, ran to fat like his first wife. Olivier believed some women were naturally thin: he preferred not to imagine the maintenance and discipline required. In fact, three years ago when he happened to see her through the window of the Café de la Mairie by St Sulpice having lunch alone – talking alternate bites of a tiny green salad and drags on her cigarette. She’d looked haggard and grey-skinned in the harsh café lights, and had seemed intent on scorching her lustful tastebuds to death.

He shivered at the memory or perhaps it was the tiled cold of the cheese shop, with its great dark cellar beneath the street cosseting some two hundred cheeses at eight degrees centigrade, with just enough humidity and ventilation to induce ripe perfection in all that pasteurised milk. He thought affectionately of the affineur in the cellar, tenderly brushing each soft cheese with wine from its own region, massaging an Epoisses with a little Calvados and crème fraiche. One of the sales ladies bustled up to him in her white coat and matching Wellingtons. ‘Monsieur Malin, so wonderful to see you. And how is your little girl? We have something that may interest you today, an old Gruyère de Fribourg and have you seen the Mont d’Or? In season now.’

She dug a spoon into the bath of pinkish rind and waved the dripping cheese at Olivier, at such a pitch of ripeness he stepped back, overpowered. The smell brought a traumatic madeleine moment, and he recalled the day he had taken his fascinatingly working-class girlfriend from the ecole Normale Supèrieure for the weekend to his parents’ chateau in the country. At dinner, when offered the almost liquid Mont d’Or, she’d stuck a knife in it and sawed messily, instead of using the monogrammed silver spoon provided. She had clearly never progressed beyond cheap brie from Franprix. Olivier’s mother had given him — and her — one withering glance, and he’d understood that this was the end of the relationship. He’d been annoyed at the time, but he now realised his mother had been absolutely right.

‘Monsieur, the Reblochon is for this evening?’ said the saleswoman, pressing possible candidates of softness, Barthélémy prided himself on timing his cheeses to go off, like a gooey bomb, at the exact point of consumption. No wonder he served Matignon and the Elysée Palace too. Olivier tested a chunk of leathery orange Mimoulette, cracked with age, and wavered between two little goat’s cheeses, one dry and pungent, the other ripe and swathed in ashes. Sighing, he restricted himself to three cheeses; the palate would be corrupted by more. Indeed, sometimes he served just one cheese if it was particularly delicious in itself. He tasted a few more, for the sake of research, and then everything was tenderly wrapped in waxed paper and placed in the green and white Barthélémy bag. Once outside, Olivier popped his head into the nag for a second and breathed in the great waves of ripe Reblochon, his eyes glazed like a teenage glue-sniffer.

In a sensual trance, Olivier strolled down the Rue de Grenelle. The old walls glowed cream in the autumn sun. People had thrown open their double windows above the curlicued wrought-iron rails, and a dog slurped from the stone dragon waterspouts outside the Musée Maillol. When Olivier passed Dalloyau, he could not ignore the siren call of a tiny leek tart with flaky, butter-ridden pastry. As he pushed the bakery’s door to leave, a gamine girl with dark bobbed hair, high heels and a short green belted trench coat swept by him, pausing to make curious eye contact for a long moment, in the way men and women do in Paris. Olivier tossed back his locks and gave her is ‘Yes, it is I, the famous philosopher’ smile. She smiled quickly back, small white teeth in an almond-shaped face, and he watched through the window for a while as she ordered pistachio macaroons. He mused on the possibilities under her tightly belted green coat as he walked home, the tart warm in his jacket pocket.

The sunlight cut suddenly to cool darkness as Olivier stepped over the lintel of the apartment building. He could feel the evil eye of Madame Canovas upon him as he entered the arches, and hear her dry cough. His spine rippled. The concierge had long ago given up twitching her net curtains, and instead had pinned one back with a clothes-peg to create a permanent spyhole. Ever since her husband had left her, without a forwarding address, ten years before, she had been obsessed to near lunacy with everyone else’s business.

Her loyalty to the building’s management was unquestioning, and her knowledge of other people’s business unsurpassed. Olivier was sure she would have been an informer during the war given the chance. She got great satisfaction from following orders to the letter.

‘Good afternoon,’ said Olivier to the gap in the curtains, just to annoy Madame Canovas and indicate his contempt for snooping. This was a mistake, because on cue, she popped out of her layer, flapping, holding a bottle of pills and a little black book. Of witchcraft, Olivier presumed. ‘Ah, Monsieur Malin, you know I am the soul of discretion, but I just wanted to raise one matter with you.’ He looked round to make sure they were not overheard, and moistened her lipstick-gashed mouth. ‘The new nanny. The British girl…’

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Getting out

I had been working for the same company for approximately seven years. It was always a bit of a boy’s club and I had to work hard to prove myself and move up the ranks. Working in information technology, there is always fresh blood coming through and this tends to make everyone competitive and insecure about their positions. A few years ago I was the hottest thing around. The male bosses liked me, I was fairly young and attractive and aside from that, I had great ideas and got a lot of attention. I was thriving.

Four years later I found myself in a management position and the pressure began to build. I became more of a target for the new starters who thought they could do my job better than I could. I must admit I thought the same of my boss when I first got out of uni. I was in a precarious position. I had a certain level of authority but I wasn’t an untouchable senior manager with the big pay packet whom everyone respected. I was pushing to join that club for years but still had not managed to get in. They kept telling me to be patient and that my time would come, but time and time again new people joined the senior management team with less experience, demanding more money than someone like me who did a great job and had shown the company my loyalty. I bit my tongue, I helped everyone where I could and even did their jobs when they were too incompetent to do it themselves. I thought if I could show them what I could do, they would push my promotion when the time came. I was wrong.

It became pretty clear that things weren’t going to change anytime soon. I began to struggle financially. I was never very good at budgeting but now the situation was getting out of control. I was shopping to make myself happy and digging myself into an even deeper hole by making it harder for me to take a smaller salary package somewhere else where I might have been happier.

They say if you avoid making a decision for so long eventually it would be made for you and that’s what happened to me.

I heard through the grapevine that the company was going to go through a round of redundancies. I pulled every string I could to get myself out with a redundancy package. The pay-out would just be enough to pay out my debts and leave me some breathing room. It didn’t work. None of the managers came through for me. I thought they would be happy to sacrifice me to make themselves more secure but nobody would so much as agree to take it up with anyone else.

As the list became finalised I was growing increasingly desperate. I asked the notorious womaniser of a CEO out on a date. I knew he had been interested in me for years but the feeling was never mutual and if half of the stories from his P.A. were true, he was sleeping with half the women in the city. He was also married and having been cheated on in the past, I was throwing my ethics out the window to play this final card.

I took him out to dinner, during which I told him that I wanted to travel and that I had really grown professionally during my time with the company but that I thought it was time for me to go. He responded with the usual promise of my much sought after promotion being only 12 to 24 months away and that I should be more patient. I turned on the charm and pushed him into telling me who was going to be asked to leave during this round of redundancies. He looked me straight in the eye and told me that he would never let me go — as far as he was concerned I was his most dedicated worker and he would no sooner cut off his own arm than offer me a redundancy.

I took him back to my apartment and seduced him. It was a passionate night and we both looked a little worst for wear at work the next day.

A few weeks later I told him that he had given me a STD. He was shocked but didn’t deny it. I knew he had recently had one, courtesy of his PA, but I had been careful when I slept with him — although of course, it was the last thing on his mind. He was apologetic and offered to pay all my expenses and give me a week off on the company to make sure I was feeling better. I told him that was not going to do and if I did not get a redundancy package I would take the matter further.

A week later I got what I wanted. It was definitely not my finest hour. At the end I had to act like a man to get them to let me leave the club I was never fully a part of.

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Ange and Brad — the truth about us

The besotted parents-to-be are tired of hiding their love for each other and are finally revealing the details of their new life together.

The world’s most talked about couple are coming clean. After months of refusing to admit they were a twosome, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are finally stepping into the spotlight, and opening up about their life together. From the joy of building a family and their shock pregnancy to the private pain that’s seeing them rush down the aisle, the pair aren’t hiding anything any more.

Is it twins?

The superstar couple may be about to have their hands full, as they could be blessed with two babies when Ange gives birth in a few months. Friends say that as her belly swells more and more each day, Angelina is beginning to believe she may be carrying twins.

Should this be a reality, the couple will, no doubt, be over the moon, as both have indicated their desire for a large family.

“Ange says she suspects [there are two babies] from the way she feels,” a friend confides.

“Ange just mentioned it casually a few days ago and Brad was running around the house and grinning from ear-to-ear for hours. Ange even caught him doing a little jig! Brad would kiss the ground Ange walks on if they wind up having a boy and girl twin set.”

Increasing the odds is the fact that multiple births run in Brad’s family ? his beloved sister Julie Neal is a proud mum of twins.

But while the notion of raising two babies is something Angelina is comfortable with, the thought of giving birth to them isn’t.

The 30-year-old actress told friends that the idea of natural childbirth “terrified” her ? further fuelling her desire to save unwanted babies via adoption rather than have her own biologically.

“You can feel just as close to children whether they’re from your body or not,” Angelina has said. “I’ve never had the impulse to have my own children.”

That’s certainly changed now, and Angelina is applying her usual adventurous attitude to motherhood. Whether she’s carrying one or two children, she and Brad, 42, won’t find out the sex until the big day.

“They’ve been having their check-ups but they’ve already told the doctor not to tell them anything about the baby’s sex,” their friend reveals.

“They both want to experience the moment of surprise the old-fashioned way.”

Just when the happy day will be is something that has Hollywood insiders frantically speculating. All Angelina has confirmed is that she’s due in the Northern summer. However, the size of her bump on the trip she and Brad made to Haiti last week indicates she’s well into the second trimester, at least five months along, according to some.

For more of this story and exclusive pictures of Ange and Brad, see this week’s issue of Woman’s Day.

Top stories

This week’s top cover stories

Mary and Frederik the little Prince’s big day

Celeb gossip: Hilary and Chad split

New celeb diet: hibernation diet

Dressing for two ? maternity style

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I slept with my sister’s fiancé

When we were younger my sister and I were like chalk and cheese. She was beautiful and admired by all the boys while I struggled with acne and my weight. I was insanely jealous of her but immersed myself in school and university. My hard work soon paid off when I was offered a job at a prominent legal firm. After a while I was transferred to another state and despite my weight, was quite satisfied with my life.

After a few years had passed my sister rang me excitedly to tell me she was engaged and getting married in a year and I was to be bridesmaid. After I hung up the phone I cried, knowing everyone would be looking at her with awe and wondering how we could be related. I made a pact to myself to be beautiful for the wedding. For the next eleven months I worked so hard. I lost a lot of weight and was feeling great about myself. I picked up a new sexy wardrobe and packed my bags for home.

When Jane picked me up from the airport she couldn’t believe her eyes; she couldn’t stop gushing about how great I looked and how happy she was for me. Instead of talking about the wedding, all my family could talk about was how much weight I had lost and how fantastic I looked. Finally I was receiving all the attention! Jane’s fiancé, Adam was gorgeous, very charming and told me that my sister and I shared our beauty. I couldn’t help but feel wonderful. Jane told me that the following day I was to accompany Adam to pick up a few things so I could get to know him better, since the rest of the family already knew and loved him. I agreed it was a great plan and must admit I was excited about spending some time with this gorgeous man.

The next day Adam picked me up from my hotel and we went out to run some basic wedding errands. We had some great conversations and got along very well, making jokes and flirting. He kept making comments all day about how fantastic I looked and that my sister had always said that I was chubby and unattractive. I couldn’t believe that Jane would be so cruel as to say that; it really hurt my feelings.

Adam drove me back to my hotel and asked if he could come up to use the bathroom. Thinking nothing of it, I told him of course, it was the least I could do for my future brother-in-law and as it was still a few hours before we were due at my mother’s house we might as well have a quick drink as well.

Once we were in the room we had a couple of glasses of wine. I was extremely attracted to him and still so hurt by my sister’s comments about me that I didn’t seem to think anything wrong of playfully touching her fiancé and flirting with him. And didn’t think anything wrong of the sort of guy who would flirt so heavily with his fiancées sister!

Before I knew it Adam was telling me about how he wanted me and that I was so beautiful. I couldn’t believe it. Hurt by Jane’s comments and foggy from the wine, I gave in to temptation and kissed Adam passionately and before I knew it we were making love. Afterwards we discussed our attraction but both feeling guilty, decided it was a bad idea having to tell my sister.

This was my mindset at the time but over the next two weeks leading up to the wedding Adam and I managed to spend several more times together. I had never felt so much passion and guilt all at once. I knew what I was doing wrong but because I had spent so many years feeling second best to my sister, I convinced myself it was some sort of justice. I know now that I was being selfish as well as foolish. Each time we met we agreed it would be the last time but it never worked out that way. The night before the wedding Adam came to me and said that he couldn’t do this anymore and that he was in love with my sister and wanted to make a life with her and tell her the truth about us. I knew it was a huge mistake and convinced him that it would destroy not only their chance of happiness but my family’s relationship with me.

The wedding the following day was one of the hardest days of my life and I cried quietly to myself as they exchanged vows. Of course everyone just thought I was happy for my sister. I was torn by guilt and also by my growing feelings for Adam. I left the very next day, fleeing anything that reminded me of my shameful acts as well as the temptation of being around him.

It wasn’t until after I flew home that I discovered I was pregnant. I knew if my family found out it would get back to Adam who would realise the truth, so I had made the hardest decision of all and had the baby adopted out. I felt it was one thing I could do to save my sister from hurt if the truth of the affair got out. I knew it still wasn’t enough to make up for what we did but it was all I could think of to do.

Several years have passed and I have married and have two beautiful children. My family is always begging me to return home and raise my family there. However, my guilt keeps me away from them as well as the man who often haunts my dreams.

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Man phobia

Question:

Ever since I have had my lab de-sexed she doesn’t like men. The vet that de-sexed her was a male and since then, when a male comes up to pat her she gets very scared and barks. She is not like this with women. Is there anything I can do?

Jessica

Answer:

She may have developed a fear of men since the op or it could be a coincidence and something completely different. Men have deeper voices and are physically larger and therefore can be a bit scarier — this is not an uncommon problem. Start by having her on a lead in the same room as a man but with no contact between them. When she is comfortable with that, try getting the man to crouch down to her level, talking very gently and offering a hand for her to sniff, with some food treats. If she has regular, pleasant dealings with males, in time she will relax a bit more.

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Energy boosting detox plan: days 1 – 4

Judy Davie

If you really want to boost your energy and kick-start the new year, then do what celebrities like Demi and Nicole do. A detox will help to unclog your liver, purify the blood and flush your whole body. As toxins release, the metabolism increases and with an increased metabolism you can reclaim the energy from your youth and love the new you.

Use this meal plan to prepare your shopping list and have everything ready before you start. Yes, it requires effort, but what worth doing doesn’t? The rewards are well worth it — find out for yourself.

(For those who don’t like fish, substitute fish dishes with organic chicken, turkey or tofu and take 1 tbs flaxseed oil each day. Flaxseed oil is available from health food stores. Always serve cold — it’s delicious with cereal or used in a salad dressing.)

Before embarking on a weight reducing diet you should consult your medical practitioner. This detox diet should be followed for seven days only and not for an indefinite period.

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Energy boosting detox plan: days 5 – 7

Judy Davie

If you really want to boost your energy and kick-start the new year, then do what celebrities like Demi and Nicole do. A detox will help to unclog your liver, purify the blood and flush your whole body. As toxins release, the metabolism increases and with an increased metabolism you can reclaim the energy from your youth and love the new you.

Use this meal plan to prepare your shopping list and have everything ready before you start. Yes, it requires effort, but what worth doing doesn’t? The rewards are well worth it — find out for yourself.

(For those who don’t like fish, substitute fish dishes with organic chicken, turkey or tofu and take 1 tbs flaxseed oil each day. Flaxseed oil is available from health food stores. Always serve cold — it’s delicious with cereal or used in a salad dressing.)

Before embarking on a weight reducing diet you should consult your medical practitioner. This detox diet should be followed for seven days only and not for an indefinite period.

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Energy boosting detox recipes

Judy Davie
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Steroids nearly ruined my life

A few years ago I had a great job working for a small business owner. I was also playing rugby, hitting the nightclubs and generally having a blast being young and single.

Playing rugby on the weekends was definitely a highlight of my week and I was playing so well and improving so much that there was even talk that I may make the next representative squad and hopefully move on to bigger and better things.

It was late one evening after training that one of my team-mates started chatting to me as we walked home. He said that if I was going to move up to the next level in my sport I would need what he called “that extra advantage” over the other contenders for my position. I was so keen to do well that I agreed to meet him the next afternoon at a local pub to talk about it.

The next day I turned up to the pub to find him talking to another guy who was introduced to me as the man who could help me get to the top. He said that he had some remedies that would boost my performance and bulk me up to better perform at the higher level. What I didn’t know at the time was that he was referring to steroids and I had already agreed to meet him at his house to get my first batch of “remedies”.

At first I shied away from injecting myself but after the first couple of weeks I noticed that I was getting bigger and putting on more muscle mass — I was ecstatic! This was exactly what I needed and things were moving smoothly.

After a while the steroids went up in price and I started to struggle for money. That’s when things started going downhill. I started dipping into the cash tray at work — just a little bit at first but before too long I was taking home over a hundred dollars a week to afford the drugs.

What I didn’t know was that my boss had installed a secret camera to see what was happening to the cash each day. One afternoon he pulled me aside and told me that he thought it was best I didn’t work there any longer and that if I left straight away he wouldn’t call the police. This made me furious and I started smashing things in the shop until a co-worker calmed me down and persuaded me to leave.

Now I had no job and a growing addiction to something I thought was doing me a favour when in fact it was beginning to ruin my life. The turning point came when the new squad I was trying out for requested that I turn up for a drug test as part of their “clean game” policy. Although I was assured that the steroids couldn’t be traced, I was still very nervous as I waited for the results. It was with much trepidation that I fronted up to the training grounds that afternoon and was told that I had not made the squad and that the director wanted to talk to me.

This was turning into a nightmare! The director of the squad informed me that they had found an irregularity in my test and that was the reason I was not included in the team. To my absolute amazement he said that he would make sure that the results of my test would not become public knowledge if I immediately stopped using the steroids and agreed to have regular tests to check my progress. I felt so relieved that I nearly cried — not a good look for a big rugby player! Having lost my dream to play representative rugby but still being able to play the game I loved so much, I felt blessed. To this day I have never touched the drugs again and I have even started to pay back my old boss. I never made the rep team but managed to make a reserves squad and this was all I ever needed. I had really dodged a couple of bullets — not to mention the health risks!

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Ticks

Question:

My sister recently bought an adorable fluffy white Poodle Maltese cross puppy. However, within about four weeks of having her, the poor little thing got two ticks and was terribly ill and nearly died. Now my sister is too paranoid to take her out and won’t let her anywhere near any grass when she does. What can she do?

Thanks,

Heather

Answer:

Your sister is right to be concerned about ticks, especially in warmer months. Ticks are usually picked up in very bushy areas so care needs to be taken if the puppy spends time in the bush. It is a good idea to regularly check the body for ticks — the paralysis tick is slate blue-brown in colour and begins a few millimetres in size but grows as it feeds and becomes engorged with blood. They are often on the front half of the body but can be found anywhere, including in the ears and between the toes.

The other thing to suggest to your sister is to use a spot-on tick preventative medication every two weeks over the tick season. Her vet can advise on what type will be safe and effective, but certainly don’t forgo any enjoyment for fear of ticks — attack them head-on instead!

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