A number of years ago I found out my husband was having an affair with his secretary. I was devastated; we had been married for 15 years and had four delightful children — three girls and a boy. We had a lovely home and good friends. We had both been overseas together to Europe, England and the US. He had a great job and was in upper management and I was enjoying a job in exporting. When I learnt about his deception I was panicky. I thought, ‘how could he do this?’
We had been sweethearts since we were in our late teens. It wasn’t as if we had any problems with our sex life or our family life. But here he was telling me he loved this other woman and could not decide between the two of us.
“What about the children, what will become of them?” I asked.
“Of course I will look after them if I decide to leave,” he said.
“But what have I done to make you take up with this woman?” I asked.
“Well, it’s just that she is different to you and I love her as much as I love you!” he exclaimed.
“How can you love us both?” I said. “You will have to make a choice!”
He told me he needed time to think about it and I said I’d wait.
Meanwhile, a dear mutual friend came to the fore and found out this woman had tried this on with a few other married men, so my husband was her next victim. She had a bad relationship with her own husband and family of three. So she thought she would get a new husband, namely mine!
Whenever I rang him at his office, I was always careful to be polite to his secretary and not say anything derogatory. But on this particular day, I asked her why she was stealing my husband away from me and my family. She just laughed and said that she was going to make sure he left me.
I got very worried, so I thought I would bring things to a head. I pretended to take a full bottle of sleeping tablets and faked falling into a deep sleep. My husband panicked and took me to hospital, where the doctors asked me what I had done. I burst into tears and told them what had gone on. They sent a psychiatrist to see me and I explained again. Fortunately, he was very concerned about the situation and decided to keep me in overnight. He said perhaps it would make my husband see reason. So he kept my secret.
When I came home from hospital my husband asked me why I had done this. I explained about his secretary saying she would make sure he left me for her. That was the turning point — he now realised she was only using him and was not really in love. He left the company and we moved interstate and started afresh.
It took me two years to overcome that incident and even though I love my husband dearly, it has never been the same innocent relationship as before.
Picture posed by models.
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