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I set my husband up to cheat on me

I had just come out of a relationship with a man who had cheated on me repeatedly. I was distrustful of men in general and swore off love for good — or so I thought. That was until I met Grant, my current husband.

I was put onto Grant by a friend; he was an accountant and I needed someone good to take care of some tax issues I was having. He was very direct and very honest and, against my best instincts I found myself becoming increasingly attracted to him. He was — dare I say it — tall, dark and handsome and funnily enough it was me who asked him out. We had dinner and I was soon comfortable enough with him to tell him my tale of heartache with my previous boyfriend. He was clearly affronted by my ex-boyfriend’s behaviour and I dared to dream that Grant was “the one”.

We went out quite frequently over the next month and when we weren’t out together we spoke on the phone. Everything happened so fast. I asked Grant to go with me on a holiday that I’d had planned. We went up north for two weeks and it was just perfect. That was until I noticed all the attention that Grant received as a result of his dashing good looks.

At first I felt proud that others envied what I had, but my pride soon turned to jealousy. When we went out to eat, waitresses would giggle flirtatiously and direct their gaze toward him as though I wasn’t there. Grant seemed flattered by it all and alarm bells started going off in the back of my mind.

When we returned to our respective homes I was distant to the point where Grant would ask me repeatedly what was wrong and I would just say I was thinking about work or was tired. My mind was haunted by flashbacks of my last boyfriend and it started to eat me up inside. I then did something that I would forever regret. I set up an account on a well known dating website under Grant’s name.

I uploaded a photo of him and painted him to be a bit of a swinger in need of some action. I entered the fact that he was attached but looking and I waited. I also set up an e-mail account that I could check during the day. The e-mails started coming almost immediately — some with very racy photos attached. I picked out the woman I thought would most appeal to Grant and sent her a reply. Her name was Amelia and she was tall and slim with very sexy eyes.

We started communicating daily and I got some sort of sick thrill playing the part of Grant and wooing Amelia on his behalf. I looked forward to seeing her e-mails in the morning and watching her attraction to the character of Grant I had created. It wasn’t long before she was desperate to meet up and that’s when I set the trap.

I organised to meet Grant at our favourite bar in the city and e-mailed Amelia giving her the same details. I told her in no uncertain terms that I didn’t want to talk about the dating site. In fact I stated that I wanted to act out the fantasy that we had just met by chance and she seemed completely titillated by the idea.

I met Grant for lunch that day and in the afternoon told Amelia what “I” would be wearing — a grey pin-stripe suit and watermelon coloured shirt. I told Amelia where I would be sitting — the very booth where I’d said I would meet Grant that night — and she said she would approach “me” as if out of the blue. It was perfect.

I made sure I was running late to meet Grant that night — late enough to allow his “chance meeting” with Amelia. I was — as insane as it sounds — hoping to catch him flirting outrageously with the strange woman at the bar. I waited an hour — which felt like an eternity — and then called his mobile. I was trying to pick up on any signs of deceit in his voice. I imagined Amelia sitting opposite him and the thought burned me up inside. He sounded like he was just sitting and waiting for me but I didn’t believe it. I told him I couldn’t make it as I was swamped with work and that I would see him another time. I told him to enjoy himself and have a drink for me. He sounded disappointed but said he would stay a little longer then head home; the trap was about to spring forth!

I then made my way to the bar and walked slowly toward our regular booth. I was waiting to see the dark-haired beauty touching his arm and laughing rambunctiously. What I saw made my face and heart drop. He was alone — sipping on a drink and looking a little forlorn. I approached and mumbled something about catching up on my work the next day. He looked so happy to see me. He then — in his typically honest way — told me about the strange woman who had approached him. He said she looked so offended when he knocked her back and told her he was in love with a beautiful woman already. He said it took some convincing but she finally took the hint and, looking very put out, stormed off. He said he felt lucky to have me. I felt like the biggest turkey in history.

We were married six months later and Grant has turned out to be such a catharsis for me, the most loving and honest husband a girl could wish for.

Confessing this here is the first step. I’ll tell Grant about my awful deception as soon as I work up the nerve.

Picture posed by models.

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Don’t drink your calories

Diet Club
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Small changes

Diet Club

Spill your diet secrets!**

Do you have a secret diet shame? Maybe you have a slimming secret that actually works? Whatever your diet confession is, you can share it here and read the diet tales of other readers.

Chat to other slimmers here

Small changes

When my doctor told me my cholesterol level was in the range that was considered dangerous for someone like myself (with a family history of heart disease), I decided to take action.

I have always loved mashed potato (with added milk and butter) but have found that my simple food processor is capable of creaming the boiled potatoes perfectly – without any added milk or butter.

Sometimes it just takes an extra little thought to change our diet and the way we prepare our food without having to sacrifice too much.

Yours faithfully

Mrs S. Dower.

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The perfect sundress

Question

I need a sundress to take me right through summer that can be worn to various occasions — bbqs, beach trips, parties etc. Do you know where I can find one?

— Kim.

Answer

We’ve found a great one! It’s by Ladakh and we think it’s the perfect Summer dress! It’s a fun colour and due to its length is versatile enough to take from day to night. Pair it with glitzy gold or silver flats and matching bag for the barbie, a pair of havaianas and a bikini for the beach or belt it at the waist and add a pair of chunky wooden heels for parties! RRP $69.95

(02) 9211 2622 or www.ladakh.com.au

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How do I grow strong nails?

Question

How do I grow strong nails? My nails are weak and split at the edges. How do I fix them?

— Trish.

Answer

Hi Trish,

Eating a healthy diet and drinking plenty of water will often assist in the growth of healthier and stronger nails. Try also massaging cuticle oil on and around your nails as this will help stimulate nail growth and strength. Designed to reduce chipping and produce harder nails, apply a coat of Dr Lewinn’s Revitanail daily for five days and watch your nails grow! Make sure your hands are always hydrated and deeply nourished by using a hand cream after you wash your hands.

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November meal plan

By Judy Davie

For further information about food and nutrition, visit Judy Davie’s website at www.thefoodcoach.com.au

**Are you ready for summer? If not, here’s a great meal plan to help you get in shape and give you the energy to enjoy those long hot summer days.

Make sure you drink two litres of water each day and if you really want to detoxify the system and encourage weight loss, stay away from diet drinks.

This month we introduce you to flaxseed oil, a great source of Omega 3 essential fatty acids. Don’t be put off by the fact oil is high in calories. In moderation it’s a good fat and known as a metabolic spark plug — it will help boost energy, encourage bowel movements, is great for soft skin and silky hair and will help reduce inflammation in the joints.

Start each day with a warm water and lemon drink and make sure you do something physical at least five days out of seven — even if it’s mowing the lawn.

** DAY ONE

On rising

Warm water with lemon

Breakfast

1 cup rockmelon

5 medium strawberries

½ tub low fat natural yoghurt

3 prunes

½ tbs flaxseed oil

4 tablespoons rolled oats

1 black coffee

Morning snack

2 tablespoons hummus

10 carrot sticks

Lunch

Tuna, celery and olive salad

1 slice of sourdough bread

Afternoon snack

20 raw almonds

Dinner

½ chicken breast

Summer salad

1 glass white wine

2 level scoops low fat vanilla ice cream

DAY TWO

On rising

Warm water with lemon

Breakfast

Scrambled eggs with ricotta, tomato and English spinach

Morning snack

1 cup low fat natural yoghurt

½ cup fresh berries

Lunch

1 serve balsamic mushroom chicken and asparagus salad

1 slice sourdough bread

Afternoon snack

Apple

Dinner

1 medium salmon steak

Stir fried Asian greens

¼ cup brown rice

DAY THREE

On rising

Warm water with lemon

Breakfast

1 cup fresh fruit salad

1 cup baked beans (reduced salt)

1 slice wholegrain toast

1 medium tomato

1 mug tea

Morning snack

1 mug tea

Lunch

1 roast beef and horseradish salad sandwich (on grain bread)

Afternoon snack

6 dried apricots

15 raw almonds

Dinner

½ cup sweet potato

1 cup broccoli

1 tablespoon mint jelly

½ tablespoon olive oil

¼ cup peas

3 small lamb chops

1 glass red wine

DAY FOUR

On rising

Warm water with lemon

Breakfast

Bircher muesli

¼ cup blueberries

Morning snack

20 raw almonds

Lunch

1 cup miso soup

6 small sushi rolls

½ cup edamame beans (edamame are soy beans and make a delicious high fibre healthy snack — available from Japanese restaurants and Asian stores).

Afternoon snack

1 flat white coffee

1 biscotti

Dinner

Green salad with Italian dressing

150g grilled sirloin

½ cup dry baked sweet potato

DAY FIVE

On rising

Warm water with lemon

Breakfast

1 wholegrain muffin

2 slices avocado

4 slices tomato

1 mug tea with skimmed milk

Morning snack

1 medium pear

Lunch

½ cup rocket

¼ cup grated carrot

½ cup medium capsicum

½ cup mixed beans

1 celery stalk

1 small tin tuna in brine

Flax oil dressing

Afternoon snack

20 almonds

5 half dried apricots

Dinner

½ medium chicken breast, grilled

½ cup brown mushrooms

1 small corn on the cob

10 snowpeas (steamed)

1 tablespoon rocket pesto

Glass white wine

1 row dark chocolate (70 percent cocoa)

DAY SIX

On rising

Warm water with lemon

Breakfast

2 poached eggs with mushrooms and 1 slice grain bread toast

Morning snack

1 skimmed milk latte

20 raw almonds

Lunch

1 chicken and avocado salad sandwich (on grain bread)

Afternoon snack

1 large apple

Dinner

Grilled barramundi

Garlic, bean and parsley puree

½ cup broccoli, steamed

1 small zucchini, steamed

1 small carrot, steamed

½ cup low fat natural yoghurt

½ cup sliced strawberries

DAY SEVEN

On rising

Warm water with lemon

Breakfast

½ cup natural muesli (no added sugar)

½ cup low fat natural yoghurt

1 tablespoon flaxseed oil

½ cup berries

1 kiwi fruit

Morning snack

1 mug tea

Lunch

Tuna and celery salad

1 slice sourdough bread

Afternoon snack

10 walnuts

10 almonds

Dinner

Beef patties

½ hamburger roll (wholemeal)

½ cup pasta sauce

Italian salad

1 glass white wine

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“I lost 30kg in six months!” One Aussie mum’s incredible weightloss journey

Here, Woman's Day reader and mum-of-three Wendy, 47, shares her incredible weightloss transformation.
Diet Club

I have been trying to lose weight all my life, but until recently I’d never been successful. I think I’d tried just about every diet out there and none worked for me.

As a child I lived a pretty normal life, but when I hit my teens, things started to change.

When I was 13 years old, my weight nearly doubled over the six-week Christmas holiday period. I was seriously big and the doctors couldn’t work out what had happened to me. For the past 23 years I’ve had a constant battle with my weight and my self esteem.

Wendy’s weightloss transformation is incredible!

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How her weightloss journey began

I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to do the Healthy Weight For Life challenge that was being run by a Sydney radio station. I had to visit my GP first to be given the all-clear to go on the program, which was reassuring because it meant they were serious.

The structure of the program really worked for me as it combined actually seeing the weight come off quickly, which I hadn’t been able to achieve before, with an excellent system that showed me exactly how I could change my habits to make sure I was able to keep the weight off forever.

The program helped me to focus seriously on changing what I was eating and to increase the amount of activity I was actually doing. It focused on getting the portions right and getting organised so eating healthier foods became easy.

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The shocking results

Now I am 30kg lighter and have learnt how to maintain my weight with the new skills I have learnt.

I’m so proud of myself and feel so positive that I approached the local video shop (I have been unemployed for a long time) to see if they had any work available and I couldn’t believe it — I got the job!

People even stop me on the street to say that I’ve inspired them to lose weight and ask how I’m going (my story was in the local paper about a month ago). I’m a long way from where I was six months ago and I am never, ever, going back there.

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The true weightloss tips that Wendy wants you to know

  • Only you can decide when the time is right for you to lose weight and only you can truly motivate yourself to keep going (although help along the way is still important).

So focus on your motivation first. Work out what really motivates you personally (not just looks), like feeling in control of your life, having more energy, improving your health or feeling better about yourself. And only start when you are really ready and motivated.

  • Set short-term goals (not just weightloss, itself). You get a fantastic sense of achievement when you reach them.

  • Get your portion size right. Don’t just focus on cutting out fat; focus on how much energy you are actually eating and drinking.

  • Don’t diet — make changes that you will be able to maintain forever.

  • Learn to love walking and do it for fun not just for exercise. Start increasing exercise slowly and build up over time. If you try to do too much too quickly, you will either hurt yourself or give up because it is too hard.

  • Never give up. If you do fall off the wagon don’t throw it all away, congratulate yourself on the things you have achieved, set some new short term goals and get going again.

If you’re planning on changing your health and fitness routine at any point, be sure to speak to your GP first.

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Scary lump

Question:

I have a 7-year-old female Maltese Terrier that has a hard lump on the right top nipple. At first it was the size of a 5-cent piece, now it has grown to a 10-cent piece. She has not been de-sexed and the only other dogs she plays with are her mother and her sister next door.

— Diana

Answer:

You need to have this lump checked out by a vet because mammary tumours (breast cancers) are far more common in older bitches that haven’t been de-sexed.

Also if it is growing rapidly and is firm this could indicate that it is an aggressive tumour. These tumours spread via the lymphatic drainage ducts to other glands further down so it definitely should be removed before that happens and while it is still relatively small.

Even if she only plays with females you may wish to de-sex her to prevent further tumours as well as the possibility of serious infections of the uterus (called Pyometra) that can occur after every heat.

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Homemade cat toys

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Cute overload!

My daughter’s cats Jupiter and Minute. Tracy.

My naughty little dog Jack who just loves to play in the water and mud! Ruth.

Mojo Cahones at 18 months. Jade.

This is Oggy giving you a hand shake. Very smart, beautiful friend. Cassie.

This is Rameses, he loves yoga poses and cuddles on my shoulder all the time. Ursula.

My two dogs. The white sheppard is Yudi, the Rotweiller/Bullmastiff is CJ. Bavonia.

This is my dog Chloe she is almost four years old. Chloe is a Mini Poodle cross Shih Tzu. Karley.

Just wanted to share a picture of my beautiful Siberian Husky, Jasper – he has startling blue eyes that sometimes appear white in colour! He is now 2 years old, and still a mischievous devil always up to something! Sharon.

Marnie is four months old and has never had a real home of her own. If you are able to offer Marnie a home, please visit petrescue.com.au

Tanis

This is my beautiful 8 month old pug Tanis! Sarah.

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