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It was to be the trip of a lifetime. My boyfriend Connor and I were to spend two years travelling around Europe after finishing school. We had spent six months saving so we could do some travelling before settling in London to earn some pounds to fund our future travels.
Three weeks into our trip, somewhere on the train between France and Switzerland, it all went wrong. They say travelling together helps you decide whether you are meant to be together, and it became clear that we weren’t. Little disagreements turned into big fights and by the time we reached Zurich, Connor was going on to Italy and I wasn’t going with him.
The next day I scraped together some precious euros to fly back to London, and straight away I found a share flat with a French girl, Leticia, and a Scottish bloke, James. We soon became close friends. I found plenty of temp work with my great administrative skills and within a couple of weeks was earning quite good money.
I was so busy socialising, working, discovering all the new things London had to offer, that it took me a few weeks to realise that my period was late. Very late. The tests showed that I was nearly three months pregnant, and it was clear that it was Connor’s, as I hadn’t been with anyone else since we broke up. I had received a few e-mails from Connor. He was partying hard in Greece and planning to go to Turkey the following month. I knew he didn’t want kids for a long time yet and telling him about the pregnancy wasn’t going to accomplish anything.
The deadline for me to have a termination came and went, and I realised that, although I wasn’t ready to have a baby, I had to give it a chance at life. I contacted some adoption agencies and received plenty of advice and information.
Leticia and James were really helpful throughout my pregnancy, helping conceal it from my family back in Australia and covering the rent for the three weeks I had off work. Leticia held my hand as my daughter was born, two days early, healthy and beautiful. I held her, kissed her gently and cried as I handed her over. I knew she was going to a family who could give her far more than I could.
A year later I returned to Australia with enough pounds to put a deposit on a house and memories to last a lifetime.
Connor and I got back in touch a few years ago and he confided that he had needed a couple of years travelling and seeing the world before he settled down. He had always known I was the love of his life and our break-up was one of the hardest things he had ever done. We married three years ago and I am now pregnant with our third child. I always count our first daughter to myself when I think of my children, although I have never told Connor about what happened in London — he still thinks we only have our son and another baby on the way.
Perhaps one day I will tell him, but for now I plan to make the most of the family I have got.
Picture posed by models.
By Judy Davie
**”I was wondering what an average calorie/kilojoule intake should be for me and my partner who are looking at losing weight and are both 26.”
— Natalie**
Without your current weight it’s impossible to tell you off the top of my head. If you are both quite large, with a lot of weight to lose, your kilojoule intake is higher than someone with much less to lose. Your height is another factor as is the difference in sexes. A man’s energy intake is usually greater than a woman’s.
To find out exactly how many kilojoules your body burns to maintain its current weight you need to find your basal metabolic rate (BMR). This is quite a complicated scientific calculation factoring in your age, height and weight. Free BMR calculators are available on the internet.
Once you have a figure from one of these calculators, deduct 2,000kJ or 500 calories to give you the amount of energy to consume for weight loss.
By Judy Davie
**”Can you please help? I seem to be a yoyo when it comes to losing weight. I lose it, then go back to my original weight and get all depressed about it. Each time I think, ‘This is it and I’ll never put it back on,’ but I always do. Any ideas?”
— Christel**
To lose weight and keep it off you have to change your attitude to food and exercise. The word “diet” is associated with a weight loss eating plan that is started one day and stopped as soon as the weight loss goal is achieved. It’s a word that most of us associate with negative feelings such as denial, restriction and sacrifice. Most people can’t wait for their diet to end as soon as it’s started. That’s the main problem.
The second problem is they see “the diet” as something far removed from their current eating habits. In other words what they eat day to day on the diet is very different to what they eat day to day when they’re not on a diet. Most good weight loss eating plans contain very healthy eating advice but there are some that eliminate whole food groups, or suggest eating the same thing for a week. These are restrictive, hard to stick to and quite simply horrible.
The only way you’ll manage long term weight loss is to assume healthy eating and exercise habits forever, and the only way to do that is to forget the idea of temporarily dieting and re-educate yourself with what to eat, why to eat it and most importantly how to make it taste great. It might mean investing some extra time in the kitchen, but you can’t achieve your goal unless you do.
I have two slightly older clients who were both over 100kg when I met them. They have since changed their eating habits completely, they love trying out new recipes and ingredients, enjoy what they eat, and look and feel great. Collectively they have lost around 25kg and that’s only by changing their eating habits and increasing their level of exercise. There’s no diet plan to follow, all they do is follow the guidelines to healthy eating.
By Annette Campbell
Think you need a little more excitement in your exercise regime?
Why not try something a bit more challenging than the usual treadmills and exercise bikes? Instead of heading to the gym for your next workout, head for the great outdoors.
There are loads of adventure sports to try — abseiling, surfing and sea kayaking to name just a few. And Phil James, the managing director of adventure company, Adrenalin, says these often life-changing experiences are now more popular than ever.
“We find that our adventures provide an escape from day to day stress,” he explains. “Customers have told us their involvement in the adventure lifted their spirits, not only while doing the adventure, but in other parts of their lives too.
“We know that adrenalin is a performance-enhancing hormone that helps people get excited about things and put more effort into whatever they’re focusing on. So the benefits are much greater than just becoming more physically fit.”
Here’s a sample of some of the adventure sports you might like to try.
I’m Italian so large meals (and seconds and thirds and sometimes even fourths) are expected of us! All of a sudden I had piled on an extra 15 kilos!
I began to look at the serving sizes on the products I was actually cooking. A packet of pasta serves four… I was using TWO packets to serve two or three people!
Since sticking to the RIGHT portion size I have lost 11 kilos and feel great! I, of course, don’t have other bad things like soft drink and junk food but my loss wouldn’t have been successful if I’d still been eating three times what I was supposed to!
— Tamara
The hair, Larry: Most of the time, your hair looks great, and I’m sure you spend a lot of time getting it right. Just be warned that you might look good every day for a month. But the one day you leave in a hurry and don’t pay enough attention, or you get a little wild with an untested new style, photos will be taken that will haunt you forever.
Fans/autograph seekers: Hollywood lives in fear of being yesterday’s celebrity and ending up with an autograph languishing on eBay for days with no bids. If people want many copies, if they don’t want you to personalize it, and/or they ask for Anna Nicole’s name as part of your signature, nicely decline. If you slip and do see your autograph on sale, have a good friend bid more than 99 cents to buy it.
The lawyers: You’ve already found out that you have turned from man to cash machine. Lawyers aren’t the only ones who will see you that way, especially if you are Dannielynn’s biological father. The good news is that someone who presents you with a bill for $620,492.84 must think you have a good case. The bad news is that you will need more lawyers to fight the legal bills. My advice: Negotiate in advance, and put in a clause against expenses for lawyers, spouses, meals or laundry.
To stop the camera flash reflecting in your animal’s eyes, place a tissue over the flash. It stops the reflection but not the quality.
Len
In the excitement of getting a new pet it is sometimes easy to overlook the household items that can pose a hazard to your animal. Here’s a quick checklist for pet-proofing your home:
Most of us are aware of the danger some toys present to young children, but they can also be a hazard to dogs of all ages. Squeaky rubber toys are a favourite with puppies but check that the squeaker cannot be dislodged in play or by chewing, as it can get stuck in a puppy’s throat.
When playing ball with your puppy or adult dog, always choose a ball that is too large for the dog to swallow and never throw a squash or golf ball as they can damage a dog’s teeth.
Dogs love to retrieve, but sticks can splinter or impale the roof of the mouth so it is better to use a plastic item — small diameter PVC piping is an ideal stick replacement.
Old socks and stockings are great for playing tug of war but should not be left lying around as dogs have been known to swallow them, which then requires surgery.
Many puppies drown each year in backyard swimming pools or fish ponds. Most dogs can swim but not all dogs are able to find their way out of a pool and quickly become exhausted and drown.
Cats like to leap and attack curtain cords. Care should be taken to make sure that they cannot become caught and hang themselves.
Cats are able jump on to hot plates on the stove and also love to sleep in front loading washing machines or clothes dryers — always check before doing a wash!
Budgerigars enjoy toys in their cages and will climb ladders, ring bells and admire themselves in a mirror for hours on end. Make sure that the toys do not have sharp edges.
Parrots of all types are smart little birds and invent their own games, including opening the door of the cage! A household peg, or for the real escape artists — a padlock, secures the door.
Birds should not be left to fly free when something is cooking on the stove, and should not be kept in the kitchen as fumes given off by some cooking appliances and products are toxic to them.
Medication, both human and animal, should be kept out of reach of pets.
Garden sprays and pesticides, especially snail bait, should be used with caution when pets are in the household. Areas of the garden where snail bait has been laid should be out of bounds to your pet, and containers of the bait should be kept on a high shelf where your pet can’t reach them.
Puppies and kittens, and sometimes other playful pets such as rabbits, may chew electrical leads so take care that these are always out of reach.
For more information about pet care, visit www.petnet.com.au
