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I had never had a good relationship with my mother-in-law. On the surface, Jacqui was friendly and civil, but underneath it was clear that she thought her son, Michael had ‘married beneath him’ and that she didn’t consider me good enough to be part of the wealthy Stephens clan. Jacqui and Michael had also had their troubles over the years, mostly over Jacqui’s favouritism of his sister, Marie.
After the death of her husband, Don, Jacqui got even worse. She constantly criticised my parenting and housekeeping skills. She would often arrive at 9.30am, just after Michael had left for work, Molly was at kindy and the baby was having a sleep, and I would be having my one uninterrupted cup of tea for the day. She would bustle in, look disapprovingly at me in my dressing gown, tut at the basketful of unfolded laundry, the breakfast dishes by the sink and the cat hair on the couch. Then she would spend the morning telling me how she was the perfect housewife; she raised two children, cooked wholesome meals for her family, kept a spotlessly clean house and was showered and dressed with a full face of make-up before her husband even woke up. Unfortunately, this advice did not coincide with practical demonstrations of her housework skills. She simply sat at the table and directed from behind a cup of coffee.
She was active, healthy and only in her early sixties, so when I received a phone call from the hospital, I was surprised to hear that Jacqui had had a mild stroke. Michael was interstate on a business trip, so he immediately arranged to be on the next flight home. I called our neighbour to mind the kids, then headed for the hospital. Michael’s sister Marie lived several hours away so I was the first to arrive at the hospital. Jacqui was in Intensive Care attached to tubes, wires and beeping machines. The doctor explained that the stroke was fairly mild, but they would monitor her closely for a couple of days because further strokes were possible.
I sat beside her and looked at her now-slightly asymmetrical face. “I need to tell you,” she whispered hoarsely. I had trouble understanding her and leaned in closer. “Michael … he’s not Don’s son,” she said. I raised my eyebrows but let her continue talking, as I could see it was a big effort for her. “Someone else … an affair. He was tall and dark. Looked like Don. No-one ever knew.”
She began to get quite agitated and her pale face turned red with the effort of trying to sit up. She suddenly gained a new strength to her voice and I understood her next sentence perfectly. “My will … the Stephens money has to go to Don’s blood — all of it has to go to Marie. Call my lawyer.”
I sat impassively, absorbing all this new information. Suddenly the machines attached to Jacqui began beeping furiously and medical staff came running. I edged my way out of the room and sat on an uncomfortable plastic chair in the hallway. The doctor came out not long after and informed me that Jacqui had had a massive stroke and she was in a coma and that we shouldn’t expect her to regain consciousness.
Jacqui died three weeks later without ever waking up. Michael and Marie often asked me about my last hour with Jacqui, and without thinking twice, I told them that she had talked about how much she loved both her children, and that she hoped they would live their lives to the fullest once she was gone.
We paid off our mortgage with the money that Jacqui left us in her will, and we now have a cleaner twice a week. Every time I hear Donna turn on the vacuum, I smile and think of Jacqui, the perfect housewife.
Picture posed by model.
By Judy Davie
**”My stepson has been told by his doctor he is underweight. What can we do to help him put on weight? Are there particular foods that will put ‘meat on his bones’?”
— Sharon**
Some overly lean people have a very efficient, speedy metabolism and simply can’t gain weight — even when they eat a lot. Generally they will gain weight with age when their metabolism slows.
As long as your stepson is eating a well-balanced diet and eats regularly every three hours or so, except of course when he’s sleeping, he will be fine.
The basic principles of a healthy well-balanced diet apply for someone who’s underweight and for someone who’s overweight. What differs is the quantity of food they eat.
A well-balanced diet includes five serves of vegetables, two serves of fruit, a balance of complex carbohydrates including wholegrain bead, pasta, noodles, rice and other grains, lean protein from chicken, meat and eggs and good fat from nuts, seeds, avocado, oils, oily fish and peanut butter.
Good fats are high in energy so if he likes them, load them on. Pour olive oil over his vegetables and spread extra peanut butter on his toast. Pack nuts for snacks and spread avocado on crackers and bread in sandwiches. The negative connotations associated with the word fat simply don’t apply with these good fats. They are rich in antioxidants and contain numerous beneficial fat soluble nutrients essential for good health.
Protein is essential for cellular growth and to build muscle, as muscle is heavier than fat you should make sure in each meal there is sufficient protein.
In your stepson’s case there’s no need to reduce the fat content from dairy, so serve him full-fat dairy in milk with cereal, cheese and yoghurt.
The following is a very healthy example of a day’s intake for a 15-year-old boy. As you can see from the table below, in many instances it exceeds the RDI of nutrients set out by the Australian Government Nutritional Health and Medical Research Council.
Breakfast
2 Weetbix
cold milk (whole milk)
2 slices wholegrain toast
2 teaspoons peanut butter
1 glass orange juice
Snack
apple
Lunch
2 sandwiches made with 4 slices wholegrain bread, ½ avocado, 2 slices ham, 30g cheese, 1 tablespoon mayonnaise, tomato and lettuce.
Snack
1 banana
small handful cashews
Dinner
120g fillet steak
1 cup cauliflower in cheese sauce
1 medium roast potato
½ cup carrots
10 green beans
2 scoops vanilla ice-cream
Before bed
1 cup milo made with whole milk
By Judy Davie
**”How can I make a normal curry that’s low in fat and kilojoules?”
— Jaclyn**
The ingredients which bump up the fat content in most curries are ghee (a clarified butter used in Indian cooking), coconut cream or milk, nuts, cream and certain cuts of fattier meat. It’s certainly harder to guarantee a low-fat dish when you go out, especially if the menu is less explanatory than it could be, but it is possible to make a spicy low-fat dish at home.
Curry powders and spices contain some natural oils — around 90kj per tablespoon — but are hardly an area of concern. In fact, they are known to help boost metabolism and promote digestion.
Tomato-based curries are delicious and can be made using a minimum amount of fat.
The following recipe is a slightly healthier adaptation of a Charmaine Solomon recipe using a few more vegetables. Served with ½ cup boiled brown rice and two tablespoons of fat-free natural yoghurt blended with chopped mint and cucumber, you and your guests or family can enjoy a delicious spicy curry with 2126kj, 18g total fat (5.7g saturated fat) and 6g of fibre.
Erase the signs of ageing without cosmetic surgery.
Karen Watkins was unhappy with her frown lines, crow’s-feet, nasal labial folds and “bleed” lines around her lips. But she didn’t want to go under the knife. She visited Karma Medispa, where it was suggested she have a variety of injectables to plump, fill and smooth her wrinkles.
Botox was injected between Karen’s brows, to soften the frown lines and reduce the tired, angry look. Botox normally lasts around 3-4 months and costs $300-$350.
Karen also had some cheek augmentation using Perlane (Perlane is the thickest form of Restylane). This procedure is done to enhance natural facial features, especially in women over 40, who have lost natural fat from their face. The procedure takes around 45 minutes and costs $660-$700.
Restylane was used in the lips, to enhance the natural lipline and reduce the wrinkles around the lips. These lines are very ageing, but luckily very easy to correct. This takes around 30 minutes and costs $550. Restylane treatments last around six months.
Restylane was also used in the nasal labial folds. These lines appear after the age of 30 in most women, and they worsen with age. The treatment generally takes around 30 minutes and costs $350-$660, depending on the depth of the lines.
Cosmoderm (human collagen) was used in fine lines around the eyes. This very soft product is normally used for fine lines and helps to stimulate collagen growth. The treatment costs $550-$700.
Karma Medispa clinical director Matty Samaei believes ‘prevention is better than cure’. Karen’s procedures were done over three visits, one hour per visit, over three weeks. Her results are outstanding — and she took no time off work and had almost no downtime!
Alec Baldwin has been urged to seek professional help, with experts fearing the star could be suffering from divorce psychosis — an extreme form of emotional instability sparked by the end of a long-term relationship.
Bronwyn Marquardt, author of Happily Ever Parted (Surviving Separation and Divorce), says Alec is showing tell-tale signs of the disorder, which can wreak havoc on sufferers and their families.
“Out-of-control behaviour after a divorce is usually a serious cry for help,” says Bronwyn. “Sometimes people have no idea how to take control of their emotions, and they really need someone to step in and give them support and advice.
“Any break-up can cause people to act out of character for a while, but divorce psychosis can result in long-term physical and psychological abuse or, in the worst-case scenario, even death,” Bronwyn warns.
“It’s particularly sad when children are involved, and adults take their anger at their former partners out on the children — just as Alec did with Ireland.“
Instead of blaming others for his behaviour, Bronwyn says Alec needs to face up to his own actions and take responsibility.
“Yes, he says sorry, but he’s still getting a dig at Ireland’s mother, Kim Basinger, for his poor choice of words, blaming her for leaking the phone message,” she says.
“Someone in the Baldwin family should step in now to help Alec come to terms with his feelings. Counselling would also be advisable for his daughter and for Kim — because if Alec is suffering, there is no doubt Kim would be too.”
This week in Woman’s Day (on-sale April 30) — Alec and Kim’s new custody crisis.
Related article: Alec Baldwin threatens daughter
Happily Ever Parted (Surviving Separation and Divorce) by Bronwyn Marquardt, New Holland Australia, rrp $19.95.
An anxious Nicole Kidman is terrified Katie Holmes is going to come between her and her beloved 14-year-old daughter Isabella. After spending months trying to build a closer relationship with her eldest child, the 39-year-old actress is living a mother’s worst nightmare amid fears Isabella will be forced into step-mum Katie’s arms in LA while Nicole is living in Australia.
Distressed that Katie is doing all the things she should be doing with her daughter, it’s believed Nicole called Tom, 44, and told him, “Isabella already has a mother! She doesn’t need a new one.”
“She told Tom that Katie needs to step back a little when it comes to her daughter,” says an insider. “Nicole told Tom that if Isabella wants to be Katie’s friend, that’s fine. But she needs to stop acting like Isabella needs a new mom. She doesn’t.”
“Isabella has told her dad [Tom Cruise] that she needs to see her mother more often,” adds the insider. But Tom says Nic has to go to Los Angeles to see her children.
Although Nicole and Tom share custody of Isabella and Connor, friends say the actress often feels as though she is being pushed out of her children’s lives.
For the full story, see this week’s issue of Woman’s Day (on-sale April 30).
Angelina Jolie is putting her life in danger as she battles a deadly disease, say experts.
It’s been revealed the actress is suffering from hair loss, blinding headaches and uncontrollable shaking as her weight continues to plummet, and her two-year relationship with Brad Pitt crumbles.
Since January, Angelina has dropped two dress sizes, and doctors are warning the star that any further weight loss could put her life at risk.
For the full story, see this week’s issue of Woman’s Day (on-sale April 30).
Emerging from the pounding surf, Aussie marathon swimming legend Linda McGill felt paralysed by the horrified gazes of other beachgoers as she walked back to her towel. What Linda saw in their eyes left her breathless and stunned.
“One woman let out a scream and then threw her hand over her mouth,” recalls Linda. “Another woman just stared at me in disbelief. And then a little boy turned to his mother and cried, ‘That lady hasn’t got a nose, Mum’.”
Linda suddenly realised that the plaster bandage she had worn over her face had washed off in the surf. Yet as hurtful as the comments and stares were, Linda is a tough and proud woman. She placed her hands over her face, over the gaping wound where her nose had been before she contracted a life-threatening skin cancer, and strode calmly to her car, head held high.
Today, 16 months after her harrowing diagnosis with skin cancer, things are looking up for Linda. The tumour, she says, is gone, removed in an operation that also took two-thirds of her nose. The wound that caused such horrified reactions is also gone, replaced by the nub of a new nose, a work-in-progress formed with a piece of rib bone to re-create the bridge, and skin and tissue from other parts of her body.
There is a large scar across her forehead, where a flap of skin was harvested to form her new nose’s soft tissues. And there are other, less apparent scars, too.
“I feel like I’m finally getting my life back, slowly,” Linda says, pouring coffee in the kitchen of her Gold Coast home. “It’s been a long struggle and there were times when I truly wondered whether it was all worth it.
“Discovering that you have cancer is shocking, but then finding out they have to cut off your nose is horrendous. Now that I have my nose again, there’s some light at the end of the tunnel.”
Linda’s skin cancer was diagnosed in December 2005, after she noticed bleeding from her nose that wouldn’t heal. A biopsy revealed cancer, the result of a life lived outdoors.
“I don’t think I have ever cried as much in my life,” she says. “And then the doctor told me that they’d have to remove my nose. It was the most devastating thing I have ever been through.”
For the full interview, see this week’s issue of Woman’s Day (on-sale April 30)
Linda’s autobiography, Surviving The Sea Of Life, is published this month by New Holland, rrp $29.95.
Princess Mary and Prince Frederik glowed with pride as they introduced their beautiful baby girl to the world last week.
Their tiny daughter arrived two weeks early on April 21, weighing a healthy 3.35kg.
“She’s been very good for her mother. Only up once a night,” said Mary, as she showed off her daughter. “I breastfeed her … and she has a very good appetite!”
For the full story and more gorgeous pics, see this week’s issue of Woman’s Day (on-sale April 30).
