My son Adam had always been a bit of a tear-away. When he was young, he constantly got detention in school for various misdemeanours like talking back to the teacher, not doing his homework or playing practical jokes on the other kids.
But as he grew older, Adam’s misdemeanours turned more serious. He shoplifted computer games and clothes, and he would go out on Saturday nights and come home drunk. I always returned anything I found stolen, but I’m sure there were a lot of things I never knew about.
I tried confronting him but he turned sullen and wouldn’t speak to me. I tried cajoling and even bribing him to talk to me, to tell me why he was doing these things, but he wouldn’t. I could see him on a downward spiral and I was at my wit’s end over what to do with him.
Then one day, the local police came round to our place. They said Adam was suspected of being involved in a raid on a shop that had left the attendant injured. I was shocked. Although he’d done some terrible things, Adam had never been violent. I didn’t believe them and told them Adam had been with me all night. Adam meekly agreed.
When they showed us the video evidence of a youth dressed in exactly the same hooded top as Adam’s, I thought it was him. And when he wouldn’t look at me, I was sure of it. But still I lied to the police.
When they left, I confronted Adam. I was so angry I could barely speak. Then he did something I’ll never forget. He cried. He told me it had got out of hand, that the crowd he was hanging out with had become violent and, although he didn’t like it, he didn’t know how to stop. He’d become scared of what they’d do next and asked me to help him to distance himself from the group.
What could I do? He was my son and he needed me. So I got him to burn his hooded top, then I grounded him. Whenever a friend from that group called, I told them Adam had left town. Adam went along with this plan and never tried to contact anyone from his old gang again.
He returned to school, got a new group of friends — ones who preferred to study than steal. And he got a job working at a petrol station. Half of the money he earned went into the bank and the other half went to assist the victim of his crime with repaying the medical and other debts incurred because of Adam’s actions.
We never speak of that awful time, but I don’t regret what I did. The way I see it, I saved my son from jail and a life of crime.
Picture: Getty Images. Posed by model.
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