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I survived the Russian mafia

By Jenny Brown

Pictures: Gina Milicia. Hair and make-up: Julian Jones.

Held captive, beaten and raped for 11 days, Yvonne Bornstein has now turned her horrific story into one of inspiration.

Abducted and imprisoned in a filthy, freezing cellar near Moscow, mother-of-two Yvonne Bornstein believed she was about to die. She could taste, smell, feel and almost touch her own fear.

The rapist drew back his sword and pushed Yvonne onto the unmade bed. Her thoughts shut down in horror.

With a $1.6million ransom demand hanging over her head, the Australian businesswoman was alone, her mind and body screaming for release.

For days Yvonne had been beaten unconscious with a vacuum cleaner pipe, doused with lighter fluid and threatened with matches, and almost suffocated by having a plastic bag placed over her head.

Who knew where her husband Daniel Weinstock was? Their half-crazed gypsy jailers had dragged him off into the snow earlier that day. The only consolation was that their children were safe at home in Melbourne. Yvonne wondered if she would see them again.

All this was 144 hours into a hellish ordeal that would eventually last for 11 days…

Eleven Days Of Hell, by Yvonne Bornstein, New Holland Publishers Australia, rrp $29.95.

Have your say below…

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Which ouch is which? Pains you shouldn’t ignore

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**As brave as we are, there are definitely different types of pain that we shouldn’t ignore.

“If you experience pain of any description — sharp, dull, constant or fluctuating — if it is unusual for you, you should go to a doctor,” explains Dr Sue Reddish, a GP at The Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health in Melbourne.**

“For example, if you usually get migraines every month around your period, you would be reasonably sure that that’s what it is next time it happens.”

“But if you don’t usually suffer with migraines and suddenly develop a splitting headache, then you should be more inclined to have it checked out. And any pain that is interfering with your daily activities needs to be followed up.”

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What do you do if your Pap test result is abnormal?

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So you’ve had your regular two-yearly Pap test … but this time the result has come back as “abnormal”. What does this actually mean? We asked expert, Kate Broun, manager of PapScreen Victoria, to explain.

From July 2009, the vaccine is free for girls in year seven. For more information about Pap tests and cervical cancer please visit the PapScreen website at www.papscreen.org.au or call the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20.

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Grieving

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There are times in all our lives when we experience grief. We all feel it to different degrees, and some cope better than others. So what exactly is grief, and how can we best survive it? Melbourne-based psychologist Chris Hall is the Director of the Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement and is an expert on the subject.

“Grief, quite simply, is our response to loss or change,” he explains. “Someone once described grief as the price we pay for love. And it’s true … if you don’t love, you won’t grieve.

“We make attachments and bonds to people, places and beliefs, and if that attachment is ruptured, it produces the pain of grief.”

Chris adds that while many people respond to grief with great resilience, approximately 10-15 percent of bereaved people will develop complications that may become disabling.

“These people will often benefit from assistance such as support groups and counselling,” he says. “The thing that often protects us most is the loving support of family and friends.”

  • the death of a child (even if the child is 45 and the parent is 75)

  • the death of a young child

  • a sudden or unexpected death

  • traumatic or violent causes of death, or when a body is not recovered

“After the initial shock, comes the period when you have to realise that the world is a different place now and you’re a different person — changed by this event.

“This can be a really difficult time, especially if you’re really having trouble with practical things like knowing how to pay bills … or even how to fill the car with petrol.

“Fundamentally we never recover. Feelings change over time — and your relationship to the deceased changes too — but the grief will always be there to a degree.”

“Men’s grief is less visible and far more private. They’re often focussed on their thoughts rather than feelings of loss. They might put their own grief ‘on hold’ to be the strong one and the shoulder to cry on for their partner.

“So guys are in a bind, because on the one hand they’re supposed to show and share their emotions; but they still feel they need to be ‘the rock’.”

  • you are experiencing grief that’s so disabling and intrusive that it’s preventing you from re-entering into life.

  • your sleep is disturbed — insomnia is a strong marker that someone’s struggling.

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Kinesiology

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By Annette Campbell

Did you know that the healing art of kinesiology was actually devised by a chiropractor in the 1960s? There’s lots we didn’t know about this therapy, so we asked practising kinesiologist and teacher Sue Crosdale a few quick questions.

There are many different types of kinesiology, but generally-speaking, the client remains fully dressed (unless they want to take off their shoes) and can stand up or lie down.

Here’s an example of one muscle test (though there are lots of others). The practitioner asks the client to raise their arm a little and then presses down lightly on the wrist. If there’s no stress and all’s okay, the arm won’t move. If there is stress in the body and mind, the arm won’t be able to hold against that little bit of resistance.

There are then more than 100 corrections (for example, lightly holding specific points on your head, rubbing under the collar bones or tracing meridians) kinesiologists can perform to achieve whatever our goal is.

A lot of people come to see me about problems they’re having now that we can actually trace back to their childhood — such as one woman who was offered a promotion but was terrified of her new job because it would require public speaking.

She’d long forgotten the experience, but through our sessions she recalled performing in public as a child and being laughed at. Her brain and body held onto that humiliation until this day. We were able to relieve that memory from her childhood and that in turn gave her much more confidence.

For more info, visit the Australian Kinesiology Association’s website at www.akakinesiology.org.au or have a look at Sue’s website at www.cessnocknaturalbalancecentre.com.au.

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While you were sleeping

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Sudanese model Akeer Chut-Deng.

Dreams are clues from your unconscious mind about what’s bothering you in the waking world. Check out these 16 symbols from slumberland.

1 Aeroplane This usually means two things: one, wanting the freedom to ‘fly solo’ towards a destination, and two, defying gravity and, by association, thumbing your nose at convention.

2 Animals If you dream about ants, it means you’re diligent. Owls represent a question that’s puzzling you, while snakes symbolise transformation (consider how a snake sheds its skin).

3 Car To understand your dream, see the car as a symbol of yourself and the trip as a metaphor for your life. Is the car shiny or dented? Were you alone? In an accident?

4 Climbing This represents the opportunity to grow, to rise to a different level in life, to conquer new challenges.

5 Dogs Dreaming of ‘man’s best friend’ means you’re in a situation where loyalty and/or friendship are important or threatened. Dog dreams also mean guidance and protection.

6 Egg A lucky omen, a symbol of rebirth: maybe you are ‘resurrecting’ yourself from an old relationship? Finding several eggs means extra money for a ‘nest egg’.

7 Fish Strongly associated with sex and/or wanting children, because their slippery nature is associated with sperm. Catching fish means success for a new project, though being swallowed by a fish means you are feeling helpless.

8 Flowers These generally mean love and friendship, although tearing petals off means destroying happiness and dying flowers indicate your feelings are hurt. Give yourself sunshine, food and water – and let your confidence grow.

9 Grave Don’t worry! In dreams, the earth symbolises creation. A grave means you need to let go of something to solve a problem, not that your life is in danger. Climbing out of a grave means a crisis is over.

10 Hair This usually signifies concerns about desirability and ageing. Hair that turns black means danger; silver signals abundance.

11 House Dream houses represent inner desires. The basement refers to your unconscious; ground level is your current reality and upper rooms deal with aspirations – your need to see things from a higher perspective.

12 Island This could mean you are seeking a refuge; or, that you feel trapped or isolated from others.

13 Storms You may be experiencing – or anticipating – a trauma. Or, it can mean that you are brooding over a problem, that there is something you want to express.

14 Swimming If you’re struggling in the dream, it may mean that your physical or mental survival is threatened. Are you having trouble ‘keeping your head above water’? Swimming dreams also mean adaptation to change.

15 Water In dreams, water always tells you something about your emotions. Gushing water might symbolise a fresh start; rivers or pools could mean different emotional ‘wavelengths’, yours or other peoples’.

16 Window Are you looking for an opportunity or breakthrough of some sort? A window can also mean that you want to escape from a situation.

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Dumping my girlfriend got her fired

I met June at a time when I was a young man who was trying to “sow his wild oats” as much as possible — which is to say, I didn’t think I wanted to settle down any time soon.

June worked in administration at a foreign embassy. While she was a shy sort of woman, I soon found she had a wicked sense of fun.

She and I went on a few dates, going to dinner and movies, and we shared a few passionate kisses, and passionate sex — including once in a busy shopping centre parking lot!

Around the same time, I met Lauren. Lauren made me feel like no women ever had before; she was funny, smart and, in a word, mesmerising. I soon found myself, against all my previous protestations, falling in love with her.

It became clear to me the only fair thing to do was tell June of my feelings for Lauren, and end our relationship.

When I first broke the news to June, she was very calm and even joked about it. Everything seemed fine. But the next, day she sent me several angry text messages saying I had been selfish and dishonest towards her.

For the next two weeks, I agonised over my behaviour. So I resolved to send June a note expressing my regret and to apologise. During our couple of months together June and I had never gone to her place, so I didn’t know her home address. All I knew was where she worked: the foreign embassy.

I bought a card with some flowers on the front and wrote a short message:

**Dear June,

I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you, but wish you the very best for the future. You are a great person.

— Rob**

Three days later, June rang me sobbing. All she could say was, “Why did you send that card?”

I didn’t think my words were quite that moving, so I was a little bit baffled.

But then she continued: “My boss opened the card and read it. He said the embassy wasn’t my personal letter box and that I could pack up my things and leave.” Embassies are largely a law unto themselves, so there was nothing she could do. My card, meant to be a peace offering, had instead got June fired!

I listened in shock as she told me never to speak to her again and hung up. I recently found out she’s now working in real estate.

Lauren and I are still going strong — though I never told her about my fatal letter.

Names in this story have been changed. Picture: Getty Images.

Your say: Have your say about this true confession below…

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In the mag – November 17, 2008

Issue on sale Monday November 10, 2008

Wills and Kate’s baby shock!

The royal couple’s world is rocked by a suspected pregnancy…

Geri Halliwell exclusive: Bluebell, boys and body bliss

A self-confessed commitment-phobe, the Spice Girl is learning to accept that life and love are never perfect…

Farmer Rob gets his wife!

TV’s Farmer Wants A Wife lovebirds are set to say ‘I do’ after a romantic proposal…

Jackie O’s baby mystery

Glamorous radio and television star Jackie O sparks baby rumours as she steps out with her husband.

Rachel Hunter’s big news: I’m getting married again

The Kiwi supermodel talks about tying the knot a second time, and how her fiancé has strengthened her family.

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Wills and Kate’s baby shock!

The royal couple’s world is rocked by a suspected pregnancy…

The palace has been rocked by a pregnancy scandal involving Prince William and his girlfriend Kate Middleton.

The 26-year-old brunette was said to have been horrified when she suspected that she might be pregnant.

“The panic started a few weeks ago, when Kate told Wills that she thought she was pregnant,” reveals a Palace source. “William was left speechless. They’re always very responsible and this shouldn’t have happened.”

The source reports that Kate, particularly, was in shock. She and Wills have been together for many years and she has always been very sensible about these sorts of things, understanding the magnitude of what a situation like that would mean.

When asked about the brewing scandal — which had royal insiders in an uproar — veteran royal commentator Judy Wade described the situation as completely out of character for Kate.

For the full story, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale November 10).

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Geri Halliwell exclusive: Bluebell, boys and body bliss

**By Sue Evison

A self-confessed commitment-phobe, the Spice Girl is learning to accept that life and love are never perfect…**

Surrounded by white beaches and a jewel-coloured sea, Geri Halliwell and her daughter Bluebell have been enjoying a holiday at the beautiful Mexican resort of Las Alamandas.

It’s the first break Geri, 36, has taken since the successful Spice Girls reunion tour and the launch of her series of Ugenia Lavender children’s books.

“The tour was a fantastic experience but I was exhausted,” Geri says. “I needed a total rest. I wanted a carefree holiday with Bluebell. Just the two of us.

“This is the perfect place. The best bit is that I can’t get a signal on my mobile, so I haven’t been able to work. It’s made me switch off and recoup my energy.”

That is even better news for Bluebell, 2, who had her mum’s undivided attention as they frolicked on the beach. When Geri donned a bikini to practise yoga moves, Bluebell, not to be outdone, tried to follow suit…

For the full story, see this week’s Woman’s Day (on sale November 10).

Ugenia Lavender: Home Alone by Geri Halliwell is available now. The audio book, read by Geri, is available on CD and download. Visit ugenialavender.com

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