My husband and I have been married for 7 years now. We’ve been through a lot of ups and downs and having kids really changed our relationship.
I kept working after the birth of our 3 year old daughter, Ashley, and then went back to work with the same company after our second daughter arrived 12 months later.
I never realised how hard having two little girls so close in age would be on our relationship. Although I really love my husband, I felt so lost and confused when I went back to work just 12 weeks after our second daughter was born.
The only thing that really got me through was my boss, Byron. He was so caring and kind. He always complimented me on my clothes and had something nice to say to me every day.
My husband, Alex, seemed to forget that I was a person in my own right and only complimented me on what a good mum I was or how well I managed the girls. Suddenly in a space of 12 months, Alex no longer saw me as his lover, only the mother to his children.
The more time my boss Byron and I spent together, the more I began to feel attracted to him. I knew that he was feeling the same way and although he was married with young kids of his own, he made it clear that he would like to be more than friends.
I felt so tired and confused. My husband didn’t seem to want me anymore and yet this attractive, clever man did. Although I rejected Byron’s physical advances, I must admit I encouraged the flirting and fun we had together.
It was liberating to feel like a sexy woman again and I didn’t want that feeling to end even though I knew it was wrong. I value my wedding vows and I always made sure that our mucking around stopped short of me doing anything physical.
Then one morning after I’d fought with Alex about how much I’d been spending on clothes, I started crying when Byron told me how nice I was looking. He sat me on his desk and started comforting me.
Before I knew it, Byron had raised my skirt and was having sex with me. We didn’t make love, it was just sex. I didn’t try to stop him. I just lay there the whole time wishing it was over.
Afterwards as I straightened my clothes, Byron told me how much he’d enjoyed himself, but I just felt numb. I thought having an affair would make me feel like an attractive, desirable woman again but instead it just made me feel more weary and tired of my life.
Although it hasn’t happened again, I have paid a high price for my sin. Byron wouldn’t stop pestering me after that and when I realised I was pregnant again, I had no choice but to leave the job I loved. No matter how I did the math, I knew the baby was Byron’s.
I’m lucky that my husband trusts me absolutely and has never taken the time to work out there’s no way this baby could be his. So now I’m 7 months pregnant and at home full time.
In two month’s time I’m going to be a mum to three kids under three, have no job and be carrying an incredible burden of guilt.
Instead of improving my self-esteem, I’ve destroyed it. All of my stupidity has made me realise that I love my husband so much and never want him to find out what I’ve done.
All I can think is what sort of wife does this to the man she loves?
(Names have been changed).
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