When I was at university I had a real thing for another student, Gerry, who was going out with a girl named Susan. She wasn’t a friend of mine but I knew her to chat to, which didn’t stop me fancying Gerry but did stop me doing anything about it.
He was gorgeous — tall, really good looking and very bright and since he was training to be a doctor I couldn’t help imagining what he’d look like in a white coat. It seemed he felt the same way — we flirted every time we bumped into each other when his girlfriend wasn’t there, exchanged longing glances at union discos and always gravitated towards one another when in a crowd.
My friend Sandy had been at high school with Gerry and told me to steer clear because he was a constant flirt and a real ditherer, unable to make his mind up about anything. He also said that he had an eye for the “big time” with Susan as she came from a very wealthy background and, coming from an ordinary working-class background, he was enjoying all the benefits of that.
Love struck, I tried not to believe that about him, but when Gerry phoned and asked me out I did have the sense to ask about Susan. He said that their relationship was over, but could we keep me and him quiet for the moment as she had been very upset when he’d finished with her.
Ever one for the sisterhood I agreed and was enchanted when he turned up for our first date in a little car complete with picnic basket and rug on the backseat and drove us out to a lovely spot in the countryside.
The car was his mum’s, but a week later he borrowed it again and we headed off for a long romantic walk on a beach. This continued for a couple of weeks and eventually he suggested we go out for dinner.
It was a beautiful summer evening and I spent hours getting dressed up to the nines in a beautiful floaty dress and strappy sandals and when he turned up in the car he had clearly made the same sort of effort.
We headed for a small romantic restaurant where we gazed into each other’s eyes over the candlelight and murmured sweet nothings. He leaned across the table and took my hand gently as he asked if we could spend the night together and I nodded in agreement, thinking that this really was true love.
We’d both been drinking wine so he decided he’d better leave the car as he lived in fear of anything that might harm his chances of getting his degree. On our way back we decided to cross the road to a lovely park and enjoy our romantic surroundings.
We cuddled up on a bench and he told me that he’d liked me for ages, he was so glad we were now together, especially as Susan had been horribly needy and caused huge scenes over nothing.
I was so happy he’d finally had the strength to ignore her tantrums and move on and I couldn’t believe my luck as we made our way back across the road and headed for a taxi.
We were meandering along the busy street when he simply vanished. One minute we’d been holding hands, the next he’d disappeared and as I turned in bewilderment I heard someone calling my name and looked back to see Susan walking towards me.
I didn’t want to see her in case she was still upset and I had to lie to her, but I had no choice as she joined me and cheerfully asked how I was, telling me I looked very pretty. I was sure the news about Gerry and I hadn’t reached her or she wouldn’t have been so friendly.
Suddenly she looked puzzled. “What on earth is my car doing here?” she said, gazing at the little car Gerry had left parked outside the restaurant. “Your car?” I said in shock.
“Oh yes,” she said, “Daddy just bought it for me a couple of months ago and Gerry uses when he wants. He’s being doing a lot of long hours over the last month so I’ve hardly seen him — or it! He must be in the student union bar so I’ll go and look for him, Daddy and Mummy are expecting us home this weekend.” She then disappeared.
Gerry sheepishly crawled out of the Chinese restaurant he’d taken refuge in and suddenly my big romance was over, despite his protests that he’d tried to finish it with Susan but been unable to because she threatened suicide.
Clutching my dignity I headed off alone, heartbroken and stunned at his cheek. Over the following months it did help to see that Susan was very temperamental and controlling every time we were in the same crowd, but it would actually have been easier if I’d felt he was in love with her, rather than staying for the money.
A year later when we’d all graduated he turned up at my door, saying that he knew he messed up the love of his life by not staying with me. He was moving to another town and begged me to come with him but I knew I didn’t trust him enough and I had also just started my first job.
I shouldn’t have been surprised when he and Susan got engaged the following week, nor by the phone call two days before the wedding when he asked me out yet again.
It took me a long, long time to get over him, the problem was I genuinely adored him and wished it could have been me rather than Susan. I still don’t know if he loved me or was genuinely torn between the two of us but I couldn’t bear to think that someone I loved so much would settle for money over love, but whatever his reason for choosing her it didn’t make him happy.
Two weeks after the wedding I bumped into him and he begged me to go out for dinner. Refusing his pleading puppy eyes was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but when I last saw him three years ago I was so glad I had, as yet again he said that Susan meant nothing and would I come out with him.
Having just booked my wedding to the loveliest man I had ever met I had no regrets when I told Gerry that from now on all my dates would be with my husband.
Your say: Have you experienced a dating disaster? Was it funny, upsetting or just plain weird? What happened? Share your dating story below…
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