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Should couples live together before getting married?

Should couples live together before getting married?

Prince William and Kate Middleton lived together long before tying the knot

Long before their fairytale wedding, Prince William and Kate Middleton were happily part of the 2.7 million British couples living together in a de facto relationship.

In breaking with royal tradition, William and Kate embraced the practice of ‘shacking up’ from the very start of their relationship, proving themselves just like every other young couple trying to work out if marriage is the right next step for them.

Couples who exist under the same roof are actually living out their commitment to each other every day. Small gestures, like cooking a meal for your loved one, laughing in the dark just before you fall asleep, countless cups of tea or coffee in bed, toast stolen from an unwatched plate and toilet rolls passed through the bathroom door that were once reserved for the married state are now happily recognised as the commitment inherent in de facto relationships. What’s more, many young couples are approaching live-in relationships as a fantastic way to ‘try before you buy.’

The old adage, ‘You never truly know someone until you live with them’ has become somewhat of a warning message for younger couples, who have listened to mum and dad’s tales of supervised courtship and matches that were, for the most part, organised and sanctioned by their parents. Many young people have decided that the old system is just too risky when it comes to the question of spending your life with someone.

But rather than taking marriage less seriously, younger couples recognise that partnerships require a preparedness that can only be gained through living with the other person — understanding whether they’re cranky in the mornings or drink directly from the milk carton, how they argue and how they apologise.

The reality is, young couples are not willing to gamble on something as important as marriage. They need a fair idea of what they’re signing up for and, more importantly, who they’re signing up to be with.

The royal family, it seems, are no different. Gone are the days when royal brides-to-be (including Princess Diana) had to be declared ‘Intacta’ (virginal) before marriage to qualify to give birth to England’s next heir.

Both Zara and Peter Phillips lived with their partners before they wed, as did Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles. It’s also no secret that Prince Harry regularly stays at the London apartment of his on/off girlfriend, Chelsy Davy.

William and Kate’s development as a couple was clear during their engagement interview as they described their journey from “friends” to a couple who lived together for the better part of their eight-year relationship.

“Over the years I knew things were getting better and better” declared a gushing William as he candidly speaks about building a strong relationship with his future wife. “We went through a few stumbling blocks, as every relationship does, but we picked ourselves up and carried on.”

Indeed, the Archbishop of York, Dr John Sentamu, backed the couple’s ‘cohabiting lifestyle,’ in the lead up to their marriage, saying that many young couples want to “test the milk before they buy the cow.”

In Australia, 75% of couples live together prior to marriage, a figure that rose by 28% between 1996 and 2001. Yet de facto relationships are not just a trial-run for the real husband and wife show. More and more, de facto living arrangements are seen as an alternative to marriage — a choice that we will no doubt see exercised throughout the next few generations of royals.

Your say: Do you think couples should live together before they get married? Tell us more at [email protected]

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Should a 12-year-old boy be jailed for life?

Should a 12-year-old boy be jailed for life?

Twelve year old Cristian Fernandez will be charged as an adult for his brother's murder.

A 12-year-old US boy could be sentenced to life in prison after he was charged as an adult for his brother’s murder.

Cristian Fernandez is alleged to have beaten his two-year-old brother David to death at their family home in Jacksonville, Florida, in March.

Prosecutor Angela Corey decided to charge Fernandez as an adult in order to ‘protect the public’ from him.

“The fact that we indicted a 12-year-old in and of itself is a stunning event and a sad event in our prosecutorial lives that we had to do this, but it is the only legal mechanism that we can use to protect the community from this particular defendant at this point,” Corey said.

People under the age of 18 are usually tried as juveniles, leading to more lenient punishments. If Fernandez was convicted as a juvenile, he would be free by the time he was 21.

The decision to charge Fernandez as an adult will result in a mandatory life sentence if he is convicted.

Fernandez’s attorneys say the child has a history of physical and sexual abuse, and should be rehabilitated, not jailed for life.

“The whole system has failed him,” Assistant Public Defender Rob Mason said.

“This child clearly is a victim. We think he can be rehabilitated and, as his lawyers, we will fight for that.”

Your say: Do you think a 12-year-old child should be jailed for life? Email your thoughts to [email protected]

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Giving back: celebrities who care

Giving back: celebrities who care

Claudia Karvan, Delta Goodrem and Layne Beachley

These well-known Australian women know what it feels like to succeed at a job they’re passionate about, but here, Elizabeth Burke discovers their more charitable side.

Claudia Karvan — The Wayside Chapel

They say charity begins at home and Claudia Karvan hasn’t strayed far from the place where she grew up to find her charitable calling.

“Even as a child, there was an openness and warmth there that I could relate to,” she says of the chapel, which was a landmark on the map of her childhood.

In pictures: 10 bad things that are actually good for you

Today, Claudia is an ambassador for the chapel, which has supported the people of Kings Cross since 1964.

“People want to help, but they usually don’t know how,” she says. “You can literally turn up there and they’ll give you a job.

Along with offering health and welfare services, meals and counselling, visitors drop in to the chapel for a coffee and company.

“Sometimes, it’s just about making eye contact — acknowledging and not avoiding,” Claudia says. “I think that’s the greatest message they have — to be warm and accepting and open.”

Click here to find out how you can help.

Layne Beachley — Aim For The Stars

Layne Beachley was unwavering in her determination to become a world champion surfer, a goal she committed to with unyielding resolution at age eight.

She worked four jobs at once, clocking up 60 hours a week on top of a gruelling training schedule, dealing with the discovery she was adopted, the death of her adoptive mother, and later losing her stepmum to breast cancer while going on to win seven world championships — the first woman in history to do so. The one thing she didn’t do was give up.

“There were so many times I wanted to quit because of money and pressure, and I realised I would have missed out on so much had I chosen to do that,” says the 38-year-old.

“I wanted to start a foundation to prevent girls from quitting and give them encouragement and a stepping stone to achieve their dreams.”

Through the Layne Beachley Aim For The Stars Foundation, she offers financial and moral support to help ambitious and dedicated females achieve their goals.

“It’s supporting people who have initiative and drive and passion. I’m all about helping the do-gooders and the go-getters.”

Click here to find out how you can help.

Delta Goodrem, 1 Billion Hungry project

Singer and former Neighbours actress Delta Goodrem has long been involved in charity work and in her latest project she joins forces with the United Nations to fight the plight of the 1 billion people suffering chronic hunger in the world.

As an ambassador for the 1 Billion Hungry project, she puts pressure on political systems to work harder.

“The goal is simple with the 1 Billion Hungry project: to end hunger in our lifetime. It’s not every day you get to do something that will potentially touch people’s lives in such a way,” Delta says.

Related: Australian charity benefits from royal wedding

While Delta, 26, is using her profile to rally support, she believes her role is no more significant than the participation of anyone else who takes 30 seconds to sign the online petition or gets involved with the project at any level.

“Each one of us living in a democratic, developed country has a voice that counts. We should make our voices heard by putting pressure on our politicians to show them we’re not satisfied with the current state of global affairs when it comes to hunger.”

Click here to find out how you can help.

Read more of this story in the June issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Do you support any charities?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly for just $69.95 and receive a BONUS Crabtree & Evelyn Hand Cream valued at $42.95. That’s a 15% saving on the retail price.

Video: Delta Goodrem snapped with Nick Jonas

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Rachael Blake on ageing, LA and why she’s no Jacki Weaver

Rachael Blake on ageing, LA and why she's no Jacki Weaver

Rachael Blake

One day, she’s doing chores on a farm, the next, she’s walking the red carpet in Cannes. Life as an actress is all about extremes, says Rachael Blake, but the highs and lows are easier to handle with actor husband Tony Martin by her side, Susan Chenery writes.

No one was more surprised to find herself on the red carpet at Cannes than Rachael Blake. She looked dazed as hundreds of cameras flashed her image out across the world, there amid the glamour, the press of people against the barricades, the Riviera sparkling in the distance.

Only days before, she had been in jeans on her husband Tony Martin’s parents’ farm in northern NSW, where the couple lives, in her more accustomed role as an out-of-work actor.

“I only found out I was going about three days ago – it has been so last minute,” she says just before leaving Sydney. “I never in a million years thought I would be at Cannes. The work I have been doing is becoming lower and lower budget. The idea of me going there was utterly incongruous; it never occurred to me.”

In pictures: Stars with beauties and brains

Well it happened; the disturbingly erotic filmSleeping Beautyfrom first-time director, novelist Julia Leigh, opened as the most controversial film in this year’s line-up, shocking audiences with its graphic look at the life of a young prostitute. Rachael plays her madam.

Still, Rachael, who admits, “I question myself so much”, is fatalistic about all this clamouring attention. She is not expecting to do a Jacki Weaver and suddenly find herself fielding offers from Hollywood.

“I don’t have any expectations of it changing my life,” she says.

Tall, with deep green eyes and a husky voice, Rachael, 40, first became known on television inWater RatsandHome And Away. “I didn’t know what I was doing onHome And Away,” she recalls, “but I was working with Isla Fisher and she was fantastic – she sort of took me under her wing. We used to go outside and I would smoke cigarettes and she would help me feel comfortable with the camera because no one teaches you that.”

Yet it was the gritty, confronting police dramaWildsidewhere she really came into her own as the ballsy, blokey Dr Maxine Summers. She had arrived at the audition on a motorbike, smoking roll-up cigarettes. And it was here that she met Tony.

Later, she starred inLantana, the internationally successful film set in a sweltering Australian summer, and more recently as Hazel Hawke in the telemovieHawke. Yet Rachael is not sitting around looking pretty and waiting for the phone to ring. She is out there living, exploring, engaging with the world — ballsy, like so many of her characters she plays.

In pictures: Stars get glamorous for Cannes Film Festival

Last December, they returned to Australia — “we missed our community” — having based themselves in London for six years. Rachael had tried Los Angeles, but she was never going to do the decorative ingenue thing. She was looking for more depth. She may have classic blonde looks, but she is too gutsy to be entirely feminine.

“I just didn’t feel that I was LA material,” she says. “I didn’t feel that I was young enough and glamorous enough. When it becomes like that, the aesthetic, I just become a bit uncomfortable. I was really interested in longevity and was terrified if it was always about how I looked — and I have always looked older than I am.

Sleeping Beautyis released in Australia on June 23 and will also feature in the Sydney Film Festival from June 8-19.

Read more of this story in the June issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Who is your favourite Australian actress?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly for just $69.95 and receive a BONUS Crabtree & Evelyn Hand Cream valued at $42.95. That’s a 15% saving on the retail price.

Video: Director banned from Cannes for ‘sympathising’ with Hitler

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A royal residence for newlyweds

After making things official in April, the newly titled Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will move into a starter home at Kensington Palace later this month.

The pair will settle down as husband and wife in the Kensington Palace apartment William once lived in with his mother, Princess Diana, following his parents’ divorce, the UK’s Daily Mail reported.

Until now the pair have been living in the Clarence House apartment that William shares with Prince Harry, when in London. While the trio are quite close, it was not an ideal situation for the newlyweds.

It is understood that the couple will live in the residence for only the first few years of their marriage as it is not big enough to raise a family in.

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge at Buckingham Palace

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry.

An aerial shot of Kensington Palace.

The front gates of Kensington Palace.

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Schapelle Corby’s secret sister revealed

Schapelle Corby’s unknown sister Mele Kisina has shunned the limelight – until now. She tells KATHRYN BONELLA why it’s time to speak out about her beloved sibling.

As Mele Kisina sits in her Gold Coast home, she can’t help the tears falling down her cheeks. She’s never spoken publicly about her big sister Schapelle, and it’s emotional. But she’s determined to break her silence if it will help achieve the family’s goal – to bring Schapelle home.

“I just want to bring my sister back. I love her and miss her so much,” says the 21-year-old. “It’s hell. Not one day do I go without thinking about Schapelle and it breaks my heart that she is stuck in that hellhole.”

In pictures: Schapelle Corby’s life behind bars

Mele was just 14 years old when her adored sister, Schapelle Corby, set off in 2004 on what was meant to be a carefree surfing holiday in Bali. She remembers her leaving for the airport early that morning. “I was half asleep, but I can remember her kissing me goodbye, saying, ‘See you in a couple of weeks. Be good for Mum. I love you’,” she says.

Later that day, the family’s world came crashing down around them as they heard the news Schapelle had been detained at Denpasar Airport with 4.2kg of marijuana in her boogie-board bag. “It was crazy. I was blank, just feeling really shocked – mainly because I knew that my sister would never do that,” Mele says. “I kept thinking Schapelle would come home the next day.

I didn’t have a clue how bad it was going to get, or how long this would go on.”

Story by Kathryn Bonella – www.kathrynbonella.com

Being sent home in handcuffs is not a tempting prospect for the broken Aussie.

A mentally fragile Schapelle Corby is refusing to pin her hopes on Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s heartfelt mission to bring her home to serve out her remaining jail time, fearing it will end in heartbreak.

“She’s aware the Australian Government is supporting her on her lucid days, but most days she’s not really with it or fully comprehending what’s going on,” a family friend tells Woman’s Day. “Also, she’s clung to hopes before that were dashed, so she’s still very depressed most of the time and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

And given all her avenues of appeal have been exhausted, the bid for clemency to Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, lodged in March this year on the grounds of her failing mental health, is her last hope of having her sentence slashed.

If it fails, she will serve at least another seven years. Speaking publicly about Corby’s case for the first time, in a press conference with Julia Gillard last Tuesday, Dr Yudhoyono said he was “quite optimistic” about a prisoner transfer scheme between Australia and Indonesia, which could apply to Schapelle’s case.

But this isn’t cause for celebration for the Corbys, as politicians have talked about prisoner transfer for more than five years and Schapelle has said numerous times she wants to come home a free person.

Despite her time in maximum security, Pauline tells Warren Gibbs Aussie jails are too good for Schapelle.

As former Prisoner C70079, Pauline Hanson knows all too well the harsh realities of life behind bars. Faced with the prospect of three years locked up in the Brisbane Women’s Correctional Centre’s Maximum Security Unit, Pauline admits she was at her lowest ebb.

Yet, although she knows only too well what life behind razor wire and security check-points feels like, she says if convicted drug trafficker Schapelle Corby is truly guilty, she should serve out the rest of her jail time at Bali’s Kerobokan Prison – not at taxpayer’s expense in Australia.

“The fact is, she was convicted on drug charges in Bali and that’s where she must do her time,” says Pauline. “That’s unless, of course, our government is prepared to seek an exchange program with other countries.

“Non-Australian nationals should be deported back to their country if they are convicted of a criminal offence which carries a sentence of 12 months or more to do their time.

“Our jails, especially in Queensland from my experience, are far too soft for convicted murderers, rapists, drug traffickers, paedophiles and now our ever increasing numbers of people smugglers,” she tells Woman’s Day.

Friends fear Schapelle Corby’s latest humiliation could tip the mentally fragile prisoner over the edge. Following a bashing scandal at her Bali prison, Phillip Koch reports that the Aussie is being treated like an exhibit in a zoo.

It was a humiliation even Schapelle Corby did not expect. The filthy cage she has called home for the past five years was opened to the world’s press with no warning, robbing Schapelle of the tiny bit of privacy she was still allowed – and the last shred of dignity she could cling to in one of the world’s worst prisons.

“She feels like a zoo exhibit or a monkey in a cage,” says a fellow prisoner at Kerobokan.

“The only space she has for herself in the whole world right now is her mattress in the cell, and it’s where she hides when the media is invited into the jail. But this time they were allowed right inside to take photos of her and her belongings.”

When the media arrived unannounced, a shocked and very distressed Schapelle leapt up from eating her lunch and scrambled into the bathroom as a guard unlocked her cell door.

She looked like an animal caught in headlights as flashes went off and questions were fired at her, forcing her to take refuge in the grubby toilet cubicle. It must have seemed like an ambush to Schapelle, who’s been desperately trying to maintain her dignity despite the appalling conditions in which she is forced to live.

She came out of hiding about 15 minutes later, turning away from the wall of lenses pointed through her barred windows. Crouching down, she filled a glass with water before splashing it at the cameras. It was her only defence and she kept hurling glasses of water until the snappers finally moved away.

For the mentally ill 32-year-old, who has spent many nights during the last two years hearing imaginary voices and trying to climb the walls of her cell to see if there are spies in the ceiling, this ill-conceived public relations stunt must have been a terrifying ordeal.

The world’s media were invited to the notorious Bali jail because of recent exposès revealing the shocking conditions there.

As her brother James becomes a dad, Schapelle’s own dream of being a mum is giving her something to live for, her family tells Corby biographer Kathryn Bonella.

Desperately lonely and increasingly despondent, Schapelle Corby plans to make a dramatic last-ditch grab at happiness by having a baby in her Bali jail, according to her mother.

Languishing behind the bars of Indonesia’s infamous Kerobokan prison, Schapelle has always been candid about her desire to have children. But she’s well aware her life-long dream is being slowly eroded as each year of her jail term drags by. Now, on the eve of the fifth anniversary of her sentencing, Schapelle’s mum, Rosleigh Rose, warns that her daughter, 32, will resort to having a baby in prison if her latest plea for clemency falls on deaf ears.

“She is going to have a baby, and she is going to be a good mum,” Rosleigh says.

“If she doesn’t come home this time, she can have one in there … So what?”

If Schapelle falls pregnant in Kerobokan Detention Centre, she would by no means be the first. Given it’s a mixed-sex prison and there’s a long history of guards renting offices for illicit liaisons, pregnancy is not uncommon.

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Dannii and Kris: The crisis that tore us apart

Dannii Minogue and Kris Smith: The crisis that tore us apart

The stress of juggling a new baby with high-profile careers is threatening to destroy their relationship.

Lying in a hospital bed recovering from an illness so painful that only hours earlier she feared she was “going to die”, Dannii Minogue knew she had to make some decisions.

In the end, her emergency rush to hospital in the UK over Easter to have her appendix removed turned out to be the wake-up call the Australian singing and small-screen star was waiting for. “Being in that much pain and not knowing what it was, was just horrendous,” Dannii says. “I’m just a new mum, I’ve got a little baby to look after. It was really scary.”

As doctors rushed to remove her appendix, the thought of her baby son Ethan was enough for Dannii to reassess how much stress working on the UK’s The X Factor was causing her, her child – and her partner. “It’s time away from your family and your baby,” explains the 39-year-old, who’s based in Melbourne. “If it’s a show in the UK, it’s a huge uproot and relocation to take the family there.” Sadly, the realisation may have come too late. A spate of reports suggest Dannii’s relationship with her partner of three years, Kris Smith, 32, is collapsing.

Although the pair publicly present a united front – they declared in a statement, “We are committed to our relationship and Ethan as always” – Kris recently acknowledged the private stress of their partnership in an exclusive interview with Woman’s Day. “It’s not necessarily easy,” he said.

“With us both working ridiculous hours, often in different parts of the world, you find yourself at home alone with the child. And it’s not the perfect world you’d like it to be, with both parents helping out. It’s for no other reason than work. But it can push you apart.”

Read more in this week’s Woman’s Day, on sale June 6, 2011.

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Brynne Edelsten: I’m having the time of my life

Brynne Edelsten: I'm having the time of my life

Things just keep getting better for the popular Dancing With The Stars contestant, who’s winning legions of fans and dreaming about motherhood.

Ever since she first touched down in Australia three and a half years ago, it’s seems everyone’s had an opinion about Brynne Edelsten. There were those who disapproved of the 40-year age gap between her and then-boyfriend, Dr Geoffrey Edelsten, 68. Then came the nasty comments directed towards her choice of fashion, starting when she wore a sparkly bra to the 2009 Brownlow Medal, and becoming more relentless with every red-carpet appearance.

Then, of course, there was her $3 million wedding to Geoff, complete with hired Hollywood stars, circus performers, and over-the-top merrymaking. Suddenly it seemed Brynne, 28, was public property. And everyone had something to say. But there’s a change in the air when Woman’s Day arrives at Brynne’s inner-city Melbourne 18th-floor apartment, a space she shares with her entrepreneur husband.

“This is the best time of my whole life,” says Brynne, marvelling at how much her life has transformed since setting foot on the Dancing With The Stars dance floor a month before. “I did the show because I wanted to be known as more than just ‘Geoff’s wife’. Up until now, everything I’ve done, I’ve done with him. And this is something I’m doing on my own.”

And she reveals her next major project may be becoming a mum. “I hope so, yes,” she says. “But I am keener than he is. He wants to wait for a while, to travel before he retires. For me, though, it’s like, I may have a lot of time but he doesn’t have as much time as I have. I want him to be around when our kids are growing up.”

The couple have talked about it, and Brynne would like to make it happen in the next few years. But for now she’s content to play mum to her little dog, Juddy, named after AFL star, Carlton’s Chris Judd.

Read more in this week’s Woman’s Day, on sale June 6, 2011.

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Bec Hewitt: My new life

Bec Hewitt: My new life

In Paris, Bec and Lleyton renew their romance and share precious family time.

She may be a natural homebody who still misses her life Down Under, but devoted wife and mum Bec Hewitt obviously believes the family that travels together stays together.

As a happy and relaxed Bec hit the streets of Paris with her tennis star hubby, Lleyton, and their three gorgeous children, it was clear she’s harbouring no regrets about putting her successful acting career on hold to raise her young family. Taking in the sights of the French capital, the former Home And Away favourite shared lots of laughs and smiles with Lleyton and their energetic brood.

With summer coming early to Paris, the casually dressed clan made the most of their time in the warm and sunny City of Love. “They looked like any happy family with a newborn, and headed out to the Indiana Cafe near the Champs-Elysees for a fun family dinner,” reported one observer.

A laid-back Bec even decided to hop aboard one of the city’s popular double-decker tour buses with her seven-month-old baby daughter, Ava, from which she enjoyed an even better view of iconic tourist hot spots, including the Eiffel Tower. But while Mia, 5, and Cruz, 2, seemed interested in checking out their latest travel destination on foot or from their strollers, Ava was far more absorbed by her colourful book.

Looking as pretty as a picture in pink, she was perfectly behaved for her parents, drawing smiles when she went with Bec to Avenue Montaigne for a couple of hours of designer shopping. “The kids are great and growing up so quickly,” Bec recently wrote on her and Lleyton’s official website. “They interact with each other really well.”

Read the full story in this week’s Woman’s Day, on sale June 6, 2011.

Your say: Do you think Bec should travel with Lleyton or come back to Australia? Share your thoughts below.

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Life in pictures: Bec Hewitt

We take a look at the life of actress Bec Hewitt

Bec Hewitt

Bec began her acting career at just five years old on TV commercials, but is best known for her role as Hayley Lewis on Home and Away.

Bec Hewitt

Bec earned herself a number of Logie Award nominations and in 2005, after being on Home and Away for six years, she won the silver Logie award for Most Popular Actress.

Bec Hewitt

But 2005 got even bigger for Bec. Her popularity skyrocketed and she won the first ever series of the Australian Dancing with the Stars.

Bec Hewitt

Bec fell in love with her co-star and on screen love interest Beau Brady. The pair dated for four years and were briefly engaged until

Bec called it off.

Bec Hewitt

Not long after, Bec began dating Aussie tennis star Lleyton Hewitt. After just six weeks of dating, Lleyton popped the question after the Australian Open Final. The pair announced not long after that they were expecting their first child and soon after Bec left Home and Away.

Bec Hewitt

The pair married in July 2005 at the Sydney Opera House followed by a reception at Taronga Zoo.

Bec Hewitt

The couple’s first daughter Mia, was born on November 29, 2005.

Bec Hewitt

The couple’s second child, a boy, named Cruz was born three years later.

Bec Hewitt

Since having children Bec has supported Lleyton by travelling with him around the world to various tennis tournaments. She can always be spotted in the front row cheering him on.

Bec Hewitt

And often has her look-alike daughter by her side.

Bec Hewitt

Bec’s kids have grown up on the court and it seems like they are loving life!

Bec Hewitt

In 2010 Bec gave birth to the couple’s third child Ava Sydney Hewitt, who was born six weeks early.

Bec Hewitt

It seems things couldn’t be better for the Hewitt’s with Bec recently posting this comment on her bog. “It is hard to believe Ava is already 6 months old. Mia and Cruz cannot get enough of her!”

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