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Teens in sexual relationships less likely to misbehave

Teens in romantic sexual relationships less likely to misbehave

Parents of teenagers spend most of their time trying to stop their kids having sex with their girlfriend or boyfriend — but a new study suggests parents might be better off just letting it happen.

Researchers from the University of Texas have found that sexually active teens in committed relationships are less likely to engage in anti-social and delinquent behaviour than those who are not having sex at all.

Related: School starts too early, study finds

However teenagers who have casual sex are the most likely to misbehave, showing far higher levels of anti-social behaviour than any other group.

Study leader Paige Harden says the results may suggest that teenagers who spend more time alone with their boyfriends or girlfriends don’t have as many chances to get into trouble.

The study, which was published in the June issue of the Journal of Youth and Adolescence, examined 519 pairs of identical twins between the ages of 13 and 18.

Researchers quizzed the twins on their sexual activity and delinquent behaviour and identified several twins who had different sexual experiences, despite being genetically identical and being raised the same way.

Those who were sexually active in committed relationships displayed less anti-social behaviour than their twins who were abstinent or having casual sex.

In a separate study, published in the June issue of Child Development, Harden investigated the myth that intelligent teens wait longer to have sex.

The research found that family background and socioeconomic factors influenced the age teens lost their virginity, not how smart they were.

In pictures: Ten things not to say to children

The study again focused on twins and found that twin siblings lost their virginity at a similar age, regardless of their differing academic abilities.

Harden says the findings proved that teens from poorer families were more likely to struggle in school and have sex young, while those from wealthier families got better grades and delayed sex due to better schools and more parental supervision.

Your say: Are you surprised by this research that claims teenagers in romantic sexual relationships are less likely to get into trouble than those who don’t have sex?

Video: Sexting and our teens

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Relationship conflict does not change throughout marriage says study

Relationship conflict does not change throughout marriage says study

How much do you fight with your spouse? Do you fight like cats and dogs or are your arguments limited to a few small tiffs? Either way, a new study has found that the current level of conflict probably won’t change throughout the relationship and heavily impacts on overall happiness.

The US study found that this was good news for the 16 percent of couples who report little conflict or even the 60 percent who have only moderate levels of conflict.

However, the study was not so good for the 22 percent of couples who say they fight and argue with each other a lot.

Lead author of the study and assistant professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University, Claire Kamp Dush said the results showed there wasn’t a lot of difference in conflict over time.

“There was a very slight decrease in the amount of conflict reported in the final years of the study, which was slightly larger for the high-conflict couples. Still, the differences over time were small,” she said.

Data was collected by surveying almost 1000 married people under 55 years old for more than 20 years between 1980 and 2000.

Throughout the study marital conflict was measured by how often respondents said they disagreed with their spouse — never, rarely, sometimes, often or very often — and, based on these results, the couples were placed into high-, middle- and low-conflict marriages categories.

Dush said those in low-conflict marriages were more likely than others to say they shared decision-making with their spouses.

“That’s interesting because you might think that making decisions jointly would create more opportunities for conflict, but that’s not what we found,” she said.

“It may be that if both spouses have a say in decision making, they are more satisfied with their relationship and are less likely to fight.”

Those in the low-conflict group were also found to believe in traditional, life-long marriage.

“People who believe marriage should last forever may also believe that fighting is just not worth it. They may be more likely to just let disagreements go,” Dush said.

The results of the study were then used to identify how overall conflict was related to overall marital happiness.

The marriages surveyed were set into classifications of volatile, validator, hostile and avoider.

About 54 percent of couples fell into the lower conflict validator category and had lower low levels of divorce, high and middle levels of happiness and no more than middle levels of conflict.

“The validator marriages are often seen as positive because couples are engaged with each other and are happy. We found that in these marriages, each partner shared in decision making and in housework,” Dush said.

The other low-conflict couples, around six percent, were in the avoider marriages. These couples had more traditional marriages in which husbands were not involved in housework and the participants believed in life-long marriage.

“These couples believed in traditional gender roles and may have avoided conflict because of their beliefs in life-long marriage. These couples were also unlikely to divorce,” Dush said.

On the other hand, about 20 percent of those surveyed were in volatile marriages — high conflict and high or middle levels of happiness. The remaining participants were in hostile marriages, which were the most likely to divorce.

Although couples in both validator and avoider marriages tended to have lower levels of conflict, Dush believes that validator marriages may be the healthiest for couples.

“Avoiding conflict could lead couples to avoid other types of engagement with their spouse,” she said.

“A healthy marriage needs to have both spouses engaged and invested in the relationship.”

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Shocking celebrity family secrets

Sofia Vergara

Modern Family actress Sofia Vergara’s brother was recently deported from the US back to his native Colombia due to his extensive criminal record which included charges for public intoxication, assault and battery, grand theft and drug possession.

Sofia moved to the US with her mother, brother and sister in 1998, shortly after her older brother, Rafael, was killed in Colombia during a kidnapping attempt.

Charlize Theron

When Charlize Theron was 15-years-old her mother murdered her alcoholic father in self-defence.

Her mother has never been charged over her father’s death and the actress refuses to speak about the incident publicly.

Woody Harrelson

Harrelson’s father was a contract killer and was arrested after he shot dead Federal Judge John Wood Jnr when Woody was 18. His father was convicted and eventually died during his life sentence in prison.

Jack Nicholson

Actor Jack Nicholson was raised believing that his grandparents were his parents and that his mother was his older sister.

He found out the truth at the age of 37 through a journalist from Time magazine who was doing a feature on him. By this time both his grandmother and mother had passed away, leaving him with no idea who his father was.

“Only Ethel and June knew and they never told anybody.”

Jennifer Hudson

In October 2008 Jennifer Hudson’s mother and brother were murdered in their home. Her seven-year-old nephew was found dead days later in a car. All three had been shot. The estranged husband of the singer’s sister Julia was charged with first-degree murder in the killings.

Hudson has never spoken publicly about the incident but said on Oprah that she still tries to make her mother proud.

Rihanna

Pop star Rihanna reveled she has a secret family in Barbados including two older sisters and an older brother from her dad’s womanising past.

She also has two younger brothers from her father’s marriage to her mother.

Kevin Spacey

Actor Kevin Spacey has never spoken about his family secrets, but his brother Randall has. He spoke out claiming that their father was a member of the American Nazi Party and had sexually abused Randall as a child.

Spacey has never commented on their claims.

Oprah

In January 2011, after years of sharing other family’s secrets, Oprah shared with the world her own secret — her half-sister who her mother put up for adoption 50 years ago.

Winfrey’s mother, who had lied by saying two of her children had died, introduced Oprah to Patricia a year earlier when her half-sister tracked her down.

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay and her siblings grew up not knowing that they had a secret half-sister Ashley Horn. Lindsay’s father Michael Lohan had an affair during his marriage to their mother resulting in a love-child.

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey’s older sister Alison Carey works as a female escort.

She is HIV positive, a former drug addict and has been arrested for prostitution in the past.

Lionel and Nicole Richie

In 1983 Lionel informally adopted two-year-old Nicole Camille Escovedo, who he raised as Nicole Richie.

The pair have never spoken about who Nicole’s biological parents are, but it is believed that Lionel was friends with them prior to adopting Nicole and some reports say her biological parents were members of his band.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

After 25 years of marriage with Maria Shriver, Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed he had fathered a love child 10 years ago with a member of staff who worked with their family.

Kathy Griffith

In the past Kathy Griffith has revealed details of her now-late brother’s drug addiction and violent behaviour.

“My brother Kenny, who is now passed away, was a paedophile and went to prison and obviously wreaked a lot of havoc on my parents and the family … had an extremely profound impact on me,” she said in an interview .

“He was extremely sexually inappropriate with me ever since I was a teeny kid.”

Liv and Steve Tyler

While growing up Liv’s mother lied to her telling her that her father was rock star Todd Rundgren. She didn’t discover that she was Steve Tyler’s daughter until she met him aged nine and realised she had great similarities to his daughter Mia.

After approaching her mum about her suspicions, her mother confirmed that he was in fact her father, but Liv continued to keep it a secret for another five years.

Adrian Grainer

The Entourage star grew up not knowing who his father was. It wasn’t until he became famous that he decided to actively seek out his father, making his journey into a documentary.

The pair, who were estranged for 18 years, now maintain a warm relationship.

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Tom Hanks refunds disappointed fans their movie money

Tom Hanks refunds disappointed fans their movie money

It seems Tom Hanks is Hollywood’s ultimate nice guy after he refunded fans their movie ticket money when they complained about his latest film.

The 55-year-old actor recently gave a couple $25 after they told him that they disliked his latest film Larry Crowne, the US’s National Enquirer reported.

Hanks, who stars alongside Julia Roberts in the film, began chatting to the couple while filling his car at a petrol station near his home in Pacific Palisades, California.

The pair spotted Hanks and went over to tell him they had just seen his latest film. When he asked them what they thought of it, the man told him “it wasn’t that good”.

Despite the man’s wife trying to ease the situation by saying they had come to expect more from their favourite actor, Hanks responded: “Gee, I’m sorry you were disappointed, how about letting me refund your ticket money?”

The couple were reluctant to take the cash but eventually accepted the $25 before leaving.

Hanks also co-wrote the script and directed the film which bombed at the US box office. Critics have named the romantic comedy the biggest flop of Hank’s career.

At least he seems to have a good attitude about the whole situation.

Your Say: Have you seen Larry Crowne? What did you think?

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How to succeed at anything

Top six tips to help you achieve success

It doesn’t matter whether you are trying to succeed at work, in your relationship or with your wealth the principles are the same. Accredited nutritionist and exercise physiologist Caitlin Reid provides you with the top six tips that will help you succeed no matter what.

1. Know what you want

You must have the desire to succeed. This means you need to know what you want in life and be able to identify the actions that you need to take to achieve your goals. Goals provide a guide to your destination in life and without them, others determine where you’ll end up.

2. Never give up

Persistence is the number one thing for being successful. It’s easy for people to become disheartened when they are criticised or encounter a hurdle while trying to achieve their goals, but to be a true success you must persist through the criticism, rejection, pressure and failure. A fighting spirit will make you succeed.

3. Believe in yourself

To be successful you need to have a positive outlook and believe that you can achieve your goals. When you feel good about yourself, you react more confidently to life’s challenges. If you believe in yourself and push yourself through shyness and self-doubt you will succeed more far than you will fail. Believe and you will achieve.

4. Never stop learning

Successful people never stop learning. They learn from their mistakes, new experiences and other people. Learning at every opportunity increases your knowledge in old and new areas and keeps you ahead in your field. Read books, acquire new skills and seek additional training and it will definitely set you apart from the rest.

5. Do what you love

To do something well you must at least like it, but it helps to love it. Being passionate about the things you spend your time on is energising and motivates you to succeed. Do what you love, and success will come.

6. Avoid conditional happiness

Too many of us believe that if some problem resolved itself we would finally be happy. But striving for happiness without sitting back and finding happiness at this particular point in your life is no way to live. Successful people avoid delayed gratification and don’t sit around waiting for problems to resolve. Successful people find happiness at every instance, rather than just when they think things are going right for them.

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Manners in the new digital era

Manners in the new digital era

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Twittering and texting are taking over our social lives. So what are the rules – and pitfalls – of this new digital era?

June Dally-Watkins has been the high priestess of Australian etiquette and deportment for 50 years and, quite frankly, she’s appalled by the state of things.

Sick of being knocked in the street by people too involved with their iPhones and Blackberries to watch where they’re going.

Appalled by men wearing sunglasses to evening functions.

Mortified by MasterChef judges holding their forks incorrectly and “shovel in” their food. Even, God help us, on Junior MasterChef, where they should be setting an “example”.

“Me, me, me, me, me! Nobody exists but me!” June despairs. “They are involved with themselves. They don’t really communicate with other people. They’re constantly texting or on Twitter and that’s not face to face, that’s not eye to eye.”

Not that she’s stuck in another era, mind you. June just thinks all people, particularly Generation Y, need to be more considerate. And she believes there is definitely a way to navigate the digital age and keep oneself nice.

Digital etiquette rules:

DO

Answer emails and telephone calls within 24 hours.

Provide a brief introduction if you want to “friend” someone on Facebook and your identity isn’t apparent to them.

Sit the whole family down to dinner a couple of times a week and teach children proper table manners.

Open doors for people, particularly your superiors.

Let other cars in when you’re in traffic.

Send a text message to the parents of a newborn rather than phoning.

DON’T

Speak/text/Tweet/email on your mobile phone in company.

Be seen to “call-screen”; it’s obnoxious. If it’s inappropriate to answer your phone, call back as soon as you can.

Wear sunglasses indoors or at a meal.

Use capital letters in emails or texts – it’s the equivalent of shouting.

Use “emoticons” in business correspondence.

Post mundane status updates on Facebook or Twitter. Nobody cares if you have just had a cup of tea.

Take more than 12 items through the supermarket express lane.

Your say: Do you think new technology is making people ruder? Tell us more at [email protected]

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Nice guys finish last, but women aren’t in the race

Nice guys finish last, but women aren't in the race

The old saying “nice guys finish last” may still ring true when it comes to climbing the corporate ladder, but new research has found nice guys still finish ahead of women.

A US study has found that men with disagreeable personalities out-earn men with agreeable personalities by about 18 percent where disagreeable women, on the other hand, earn only about five percent more than those who are caring and sweet, LiveScience reported.

So, for women planning on climbing the corporate ladder, playing nice does have its benefits, with disagreeable women being scorned a lot more than men and offered less promotion opportunities.

The study included more than 3500 people across the workforce from those who had recently left school to those in their late seventies.

Men who were disagreeable earned 18.31 percent more than agreeable men, a difference of around $9772 a year more of those surveyed.

Disagreeable women also out-earned agreeable women by 5.47 percent, an average difference of just $1828 per year.

Study researcher Timothy Judge of the University of Notre Dames’ Mendoza College of Business said people may judge no-nonsense women more harshly than no-nonsense men.

“Women who appear to be tough or disagreeable get a special kind of scorn directed toward them,” he said.

“That sort of neutralises the benefit that they might otherwise receive.”

The new research, which will be published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that disagreeable women were less likely to be recommended for a promotion than disagreeable men, with men also being seen as strong leaders.

Judge pointed out that disagreeable behavior doesn’t necessarily mean beaing rude or nasty, it means being more aggressive at setting goals and negotiating harder than agreeable types.

For women, this “toughness” doesn’t win them as many admirers as it does for men, he said.

“Can one become firm and assertive in what one wants but not be seen as aggressive?” Judge asked.

“Women probably have to attend more to not just what they ask for but how they ask for it.”

Judge next plans to research what women can do to escape this trap.

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Glenn McGrath’s new wife on bonding with Jane’s kids

Glenn McGrath's new wife on bonding with Jane's kids

Glenn McGrath and Sara Leonardi © AAP.

Glenn McGrath’s new wife Sara Leonardi has discussed the challenges of parenting step-kids in her new food blog.

Sara — who married former cricketer Glenn last year — started ‘The McGrath’s Kitchen’ blog yesterday.

Related: Glenn McGrath marries Sara Leonardi again

In her first post, she talked about the difficulties of parenting and how cooking is helping her bond with Glenn’s children with his first wife Jane, James, 11, and Holly, nine.

“I have the best step-kids I could have ever wished for and I pass on to them my traditions and recipes,” Sara wrote.

“They are like I once was to my mum, my little helpers. Being a parent is the hardest job on earth and with its many rewards it has its responsibilities, such as teaching good table manners (very frustrating at times) and teaching kids to eat right and be healthy (the list is endless).”

Sara says she started the blog to try to make cooking more of a hobby than a chore. She hopes her words will inspire other women to share tips and recipes online.

“I’m very excited about this new journey and I can’t wait to learn from other mothers and homemakers any new tips to make my life easier, more fun and taste better,” Sara wrote.

“We can share info about cool recipes and products you have tried that work for you and your families love. This is a loving blog where we share the same love as we do when cooking for our loved ones, so please join in.

“So folks let’s get ready to cook, laugh, share and why not have a glass while doing it.”

Related: Glenn McGrath condemns ‘fake’ wedding cover

Glenn’s first wife Jane died of breast cancer in 2008. He met Sara in 2009 and they married at his Cronulla home last November.

Glenn and Sara then married again in a religious ceremony in Sicily in in July.

Click here to read The McGrath’s Kitchen blog.

Video: Glenn McGrath confirms wedding to Sara Leonardi

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Princess Mary’s son’s first day of school

Starting school can be scary, but Princess Mary’s son Christian couldn’t stop smiling when he commenced his first term on Friday.

The five-year-old prince started his education at Copenhagen’s Tranegaardsskolen last week. On the morning of his first day, Christian made a brief public appearance outside the palace with his parents Mary and Crown Prince Frederik.

Wearing his school clothes and a tiny backpack, Christian told journalists he was looking forward to his first day. Christian will be the first member of the Danish royal family to attend a state school instead of a private institution.

Christian could barely contain his excitement as he headed to school.

Mary was all smiles as she led Christian to school.

Christian pulled lots of faces for the media.

The family pose for photographers.

Christian talks about his excitement at starting school.

Mary gives Christian a cuddle as he prepares to leave her.

Christian quickly tired of posing for the press and was anxious to get inside.

Prince William on his first day at nursery school in 1985.

William was less thrilled than Christian!

Prince Harry on his first day of school in 1987.

Like his older brother, Harry had trouble smiling for the cameras.

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Scott Cam: Meet my gorgeous wife

Scott Cam: Meet my gorgeous wife

The loveable larrikin fell in love with Ann the first time he set eyes on her. They share their 22-year love story with Katherine Chatfield.

As Scott Cam opens the door to his home, his dog Rosie stands in the doorway and gives the Woman’s Day team friendly licks all round. Satisfied that Scott has given everyone the seal of approval, she pads softly into the kitchen, and dozes amid a scene of domestic bliss. Scott’s wife, Ann, is making everyone tea, while their children, Charlie, 14, and twins Bill and Sarah, 11, help themselves to seconds from the dinner table before loping off to do their homework. They’re in a hurry to get it done because at 7pm they down pens and watch Dad on The Block. “They like to watch it,” Scott smiles. “They try to get me to tell them what will happen, but I never do!”

The relaxed nature of the Cam family home is testament to Scott and Ann’s loving marriage. Ann normally keeps out of the public eye, preferring to concentrate on the hectic task of looking after her family. But as the couple approach 20 years of marriage, for the first time Ann has decided to open up about what makes her and Scott’s marriage work.

The couple has been together 22 years, and as they both curl up on the lounge, it’s clear they still love being in each other’s company. “We haven’t had much romance recently as Scott’s been away [working on The Block],” says Ann. “We might have an extra kiss tonight!”

Despite Scott being such a big personality, it’s clear Ann is the backbone of the tight family unit. Happy to let Scott shine, the petite blonde is certainly no pushover. Her striking looks and calm manner are what entranced Scott when they first met in 1989. Scott, now 49, had just returned to Sydney from travelling Australia working as a carpenter.“My father had passed away and I came home to stay with my mum for six weeks,” he says. “Some mates were playing footy in the Blue Mountains and I went to watch.” He spotted school teacher Ann chatting with friends and was immediately smitten.

Read more about Scott and Ann’s love story and find out their ultimate renovating tips in this week’s Woman’s Day, on sale August 15, 2011.

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