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The day a 17-year-old tried to assassinate the queen

The day a 17-year-old tried to assassinate the queen

Queen Elizabeth

A royal assassination attempt, an embarrassing afternoon for Prince Charles and a conversation with the queen about airplane food— it’s all just another day on the job for The Daily Mail’s royal correspondent Richard Shears.

It’s downtown Dunedin in 1981 and royal correspondent Richard Shears is in the crowd of well-wishers waiting to welcome Queen Elizabeth to the sleepy New Zealand town.

As the royal motorcade approaches, a loud bang sounds. Richard is convinced it was a gunshot.

In pictures: Queen Elizabeth’s visit to Australia

“I raced over to the only other reporter who was there on the road and said, ‘Did you hear that?'” Richard recalls.

“He said, ‘Yes — it sounded like a gunshot!’ We agreed to split up and try to find out what had happened.”

Richard bumped into some police officers, but they all claimed to have heard nothing. He eventually found a senior officer, who insisted his ears were playing tricks on him.

“I told the constable I’d heard a gun, but he said, ‘No, what you heard was this…’ and he knocked over a metal street sign over and it made this huge clang, which of course was nothing like what I heard.

“That’s when I knew something was going on. Something wasn’t right.”

Richard and the other reporter continued quizzing passers-by but eventually had to leave Dunedin empty-handed.

“The press bus had moved on to the airport to fly to Wellington,” he says. “I had to decide whether to stay in Dunedin and go door-knocking, or fly on with the rest of the media.

“In the end, I had to leave because I would have been in huge trouble if something happened in Wellington and I wasn’t there so I raced to the airport.”

One year later, Richard found out the truth about what happened on that day. A 17-year-old boy, Christopher John Lewis, had taken his .22 rifle into Dunedin and tried to assassinate the queen.

New Zealand police hushed the incident up and Lewis — who had held up a post office at gunpoint just days earlier with other members of his anti-royal fascist group — was charged with discharging a firearm in a public place and jailed for eight years.

In pictures: Previous royal visits to Australia

He went on to commit several other crimes, including the murder of a young mother, after his release. He committed suicide in prison in 1997.

“It was astounding,” Richard says. “This man had actually taken a shot at the queen and I was right there.”

But Richard’s royal correspondent career hasn’t always been so dramatic — he has also witnessed several funny incidents.

The one that stands out in his mind happened in the early 1980s during Prince Charles’ tour of Australia and New Zealand.

It was towards the end of a particularly long tour, and Charles was due to visit a timber mill in a tiny town in New Zealand’s north island.

In pictures: Queen Elizabeth’s visit to Australia

“We got to this mill and all the international photographers had just had it,” Richard recalls. “They all said, ‘We’re not going in there. It’s going to be the same boring thing we’ve seen all week.

“There was a young guy from The Rotorua Times or something like that and he said, ‘Well I’ve got to do it because this is my local area.”

The young photographer went inside, as the older professionals laughed and sneered. About 15 minutes later, the young man returned with a slightly stunned look on his face.

Old photographers: “See! There was nothing in there mate, was there?”

Young snapper: “Well, I did get a very nice little picture for my paper.”

Old photographers: “Yeah yeah. What was it then?”

Young snapper: “Well there was a line of workers…”

Old photographers: “Yeah, yeah, yeah…”

Young snapper: “And Prince Charles wandered along and he was shaking hands…”

Old photographers: “Yeah, yeah, yeah…”

Young snapper: “And there was one guy standing in line and he was wearing a t-shirt with a finger on it. And the finger was actually pointing at Prince Charles. And there was a slogan on the t-shirt that said ‘I’m with stupid’.”

Richard still laughs when he recounts the incident. “The old guys all looked at one another and I’ve never seen so many people rush at one man. They were shouting, ‘Give us your film, give us your film, how much do you want?’

“And this young guy did a deal with them and that picture was on the front page of every paper in the UK the next day.”

In his 30 years of covering royal tours, Richard has also had many opportunities to chat with the Her Majesty herself, sometimes about the most unlikely things.

“We used to have receptions for the press, and we’d all stand in a circle and the queen would suddenly appear,” he says. “She might say something about someone’s tie or ask me why I was never wearing a suit.

“One time we were in Brisbane and the queen had popped up and for some reason we were talking about flying and I actually said to her, ‘It’s great to fly around but the food on aeroplanes these days is nothing like it used to be’.

“I told her that on Qantas these days you just get a biscuit and a cup of tea for dinner. She said, ‘Oh that sounds terrible!'”

The next day, Richard was in the air again and faced with another abysmal meal. The elderly couple sitting next to him was just as unimpressed.

“I heard the old man say to his wife, ‘Is this all we’re getting? This is terrible!,'” he says. “And I said, ‘Yes, I’ve just been complaining to the queen about it and she thinks it’s terrible too’. And of course this old couple looked at me like I was absolutely crazy!”

Richard was thrilled when he was asked to cover what many are saying will be Elizabeth’s last tour of Australia.

“I’m not what you would call a royalist, but I do like the queen,” he says. “I think she is fantastic.

“I think the time will come when Australia will have to change. The monarchy is great, but it really doesn’t have any relevance here anymore.

In pictures: Previous royal visits to Australia

“But whatever happens, the queen will always be the most wonderful lady. Gentle, pleasant and an inspiration to everyone who sees her.”

Your say: What do you like about the queen?

Video: The queen in Perth

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Why ovarian cancer is so difficult to diagnose

Why ovarian cancer is so difficult to diagnose

Ovarian cancer sufferer Narelle Webster and her son Blake. AWW and L'Or&eacuteal Paris are fighting to find a cure.

Are you at risk of this life-threatening cancer? Read on for the signs you should not ignore.

It’s the silent killer that even experienced doctors find hard to diagnose. What woman hasn’t suffered bloating, odd weight loss and back pain? Common health complaints such as these can be a sign of something more worrying — ovarian cancer.

According to Associate Professor Thomas Jobling, head of Gynaecological Oncology at Monash Medical Centre in Victoria, 1200 women are diagnosed with invasive epithelial ovarian cancer (the most common form) in Australia each year.

Ovarian cancer can occur at any age, but the average age of diagnosis is between 50 and 60, with post-menopausal women making up 80 per cent of patients.

“Without an effective early screening test, ovarian cancer is very difficult to diagnose,” explains Professor Jobling.

“The main symptoms are very vague and a lot of pre-menopausal women suffer them once a month. If you have these symptoms and they fail to resolve reasonably quickly, then you should have them investigated.”

Professor Jobling is now devoting his career to finding a cure and better testing techniques, and co-founded the Ovarian Cancer Research Foundation in 2000.

He realised the most important path to saving lives was through early detection. Women diagnosed in Stage 1 have a more than 90 per cent chance of a cure.

Yet more than two-thirds of sufferers will be diagnosed at an advanced stage.

Unfortunately, Pap smears do not detect ovarian cancer. At present, doctors use a blood test to measure the CA125 protein, a tumour marker produced by ovarian cancer cells.

An increased reading can indicate ovarian cancer, though this can only be confirmed by surgery and lab tests. The problem is that this test works for women with more advanced cancer, but not in the very early stages.

Professor Jobling’s team has the delicate task of asking patients for permission to use their tissue samples for testing protein levels, the DNA of cells, and to identify mutated genes.

By comparing the samples to normal tissues, the team has isolated several potential markers that have a much greater sensitivity in detecting early-stage cancer.

The dream is that further research will enable these markers to be used for a very simple detection kit — possibly as easy to use as a blood or urine test.

“It’s impossible to know how far away an early detection test and effective treatment is,” he says, frankly. “I don’t know and I don’t think anyone else knows.”

However, the team hope they will have an early test, which will save lives, in the next few years.

“In the past 30 years, the overall survival rates for ovarian cancer have only improved by single figure percentages,” Professor Jobling explains. “It’s disappointingly slow, but the science is getting better, so patients are surviving longer.”

Experts believe the cancer is inherited in up to 15 per cent of cases and those with a family history of breast and other cancers are at increased risk. Ashkenazy Jewish women are particularly susceptible.

What are the symptoms?

  • abdominal bloating

  • changes in bowel or bladder habits

  • unexplained weight loss or gain

  • lower back pain

  • indigestion or heartburn

  • fatigue

How will I be treated?

Initial diagnosis includes an ultrasound and pelvic examination. Patients will then visit a gynaecological oncologist where treatment will begin, usually with surgery.

Those with advanced stages usually have a hysterectomy and oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries) to remove as much of the cancer as possible.

Patients will then complete chemotherapy treatment to destroy any residual cancer. With this treatment, 70 per cent of women are likely to enter complete remission.

The Weekly has partnered with L’Or&eacuteal Paris in the fight to find a cure for ovarian cancer. For more details, visit the Ovarian Cancer Research Foundation.

Read more of this story in the November issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Do you know someone who is suffering from ovarian cancer?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly magazine for only $64.95 and go into the draw to win 1 of 10 fabulous Hawaiian holiday packages, valued at over $12,000 each.

Video: What you can do to protect yourself from ovarian cancer

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VIDEO: Tom Cruise jumps from building for movie stunt

VIDEO: Tom Cruise jumps from building for movie stunt

It’s well known that Tom Cruise performs his own stunts in movie roles, but it’s hard to believe that the 49-year-old agreed to this death-defying stunt for his new movie Mission: Impossible IV.

A behind the scenes video of the making of the movie, including scenes shot in November 2010, has just been released showing Cruise performing his own daring stunts.

Filmed in Dubai, the scenes show Cruise dangling from the observation deck of the Burj Kahlifa, the world’s tallest building at 2,700 feet high.

During one scene he leaps from the building dangling by a suspension cord before running down the glass exterior.

The scene, which was filmed using cameras in the building as well as a helicopter crew circling it, may seem extreme but it’s a common occurrence on set.

“This is just another day at work on Mission: Impossible,” director Brad Bird said.

Watch the video of Tom Cruise performing the incredible stunts above.

Your say: Are you a Tom Cruise fan?

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Jennifer Lopez reveals why she broke down on stage

Jennifer Lopez reveals why she broke down on stage

Jennifer Lopez has revealed why she broke down in tears during a performance of her new song ‘One Love’.

Sining in front of a packed auditorium, JLo tried to hold back tears and has said the reason behind it all was the sympathetic reaction and atmosphere in the crowd she told Access Hollywood .

“You know what it was? I was standing there and I realised that I did bear a little bit of my thoughts in this song and I acted it out kind of for the audience,” she said.

“And the way they received it was very touching. I think that they felt what I felt, which was that I’m just a girl like everyone else.”

During the performance JLo became quite overcome with emotion and held her hand to her chest. She also revealed that she wanted to dedicate one part of her show to love.

“We wanted to do a section of the show that talked about love and through it I go through all the different moments of my life,” she said.

“At the end of the day it’s a journey. It’s about love, it’s about loving yourself.”

“The audience saw me being open so they saw it was a regular person like everybody else. I have feelings like everybody else. My life gets great and gets not so great sometimes, it is what it is.”

The 42-year-old year old star said she became even more emotional when she spotted her mother in the crowd until she sang her song ‘Until It Beats No More’.

“I didn’t see her the whole time until this one moment, and I was a bit emotional,” she said.

“The song reminds me of my babies. It always did.

“My mom, my family — they are there during the hard times. The babies — I’m strong for them.”

The singer has recently been spotted to Hollywood hunk Bradley Cooper, but when it comes to her love life, she says she will be keeping quiet until she is in a serious relationship.

“As a mom, and having children, right now they’re my first priority and because of them, I wouldn’t ever comment on anything until I’m in a serious relationship again,” she said.

“It would just be confusing for them and it would be unfair. And so at the end of the day, it’s about them.”

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Get supplement savvy

Get supplement savvy

With our demanding, stressful lives, many people are turning to vitamin supplements in an effort to maintain health — but are they really doing us any good? Karen Inge reports.

The supplement industry is growing at a phenomenal rate in Australia. No longer the sole realm of the health food store, naturopath clinic or pharmacy, you’ll now find rows and rows of vitamin and mineral combinations for every life stage and health concern in the local supermarket, on line, at your gym and even at the petrol station.

In pictures: Bizarre beauty treatments

According to Research Australia’s annual public opinion poll on health and medical issues, more than half the population took multivitamins in the last year to help combat a lack of energy and 30 per cent of Australians took vitamin C pills to prevent colds.

While we all want to be well and feel fit and fabulous, if you think swallowing a supplement means instant good health, think again. It’s not that simple. In fact, while some may be valuable for particular conditions, they may not be helping us at all. So let’s get supplement savvy.

Food first

The best way to get your vitamins and minerals is from food which is naturally high in that nutrient, such as calcium from milk, vitamin C from oranges, iron from red meat, zinc from oysters and so on.

This is because, in most cases, the nutrient is more available in the food form, plus other components of the food may assist in absorbing that nutrient and support its function once absorbed.

In other words, vitamins and minerals from food work better than the supplements. The exception is folate where the synthetic form, either as a supplement or fortified food, is better absorbed.

Know if you need them

Most of us will be able to meet all our nutritional needs through the food we eat but some, for a number of reasons, may benefit from a specific vitamin or mineral supplement.

If you are feeling “out of sorts” and concerned about nutritional deficiencies, the best thing to do is see a doctor who will arrange a blood test to check your health and nutrition status. That way you eliminate the guesswork.

If you want to take a supplement, it is much better to take multivitamins at the Recommended Dietary Intake (RDI) level, rather than single nutrient supplements or high-dose multivitamins unless you have had a blood test to confirm a dietary deficiency.

Maximise your intake

Most nutrient supplements are better absorbed when they are taken with food; the exception is folate. Some nutrients such as the fat-soluble vitamins E, A, D and K are better absorbed when they are taken with a small amount of fat — preferably healthy fats like a slice of bread spread with avocado or peanut butter, a few nuts or even a small glass of low-fat milk (not skim).

Other supplements, like calcium, may be better taken with food or something acidic, like fruit juice.

Generally the body will not absorb more than 500mg of calcium at once, so if you have been advised to take more than this daily as a supplement, then you should split the dose and take it at different times in the day. Also, calcium will not be optimally metabolised by the body if you have low vitamin D levels, low phosphate levels or low magnesium or zinc levels.

Iron absorption is enhanced with vitamin C, so having a glass of OJ with your iron supplement is smart. But we also know that tannins in tea inhibit iron absorption, so save the cuppa for later. As iron and calcium compete for absorption sites, it’s best not to take them together.

Ask the experts

Supplements need to be treated with respect, and ideally only used on the advice of trained professionals including doctors or Accredited Practicing Dietitians.

And don’t expect instant results. If you have been advised to take a particular nutrient, you may not ever feel different but your body will be functioning better. For some nutrient deficiencies, such as inadequate iron or vitamin D, it may take months to show the benefits of the supplement and this may only be when your doctor retests the levels of that nutrient to see whether your levels have returned to acceptable levels.

Related: Vitamins linked to breast cancer

You might need a vitamin, mineral or dietary supplement if:

  • You follow a strict vegan diet

  • Your doctor has recommended a supplement because tests show your body has low levels of a nutrient.

  • You are planning to become pregnant

  • You are following a very low-energy weight-reduction diet or have had weight-reduction surgery.

  • You have low bone density

  • You have been unwell and are eating less

  • You have a poor appetite and eat small or infrequent meals — this is of concern for the elderly.

  • You regularly drink more than 4 standard drinks of alcohol a day and/or you smoke.

  • You are taking medications that increase or decrease your need for some nutrients. People taking warfarin, for example, need to be careful about their vitamin K intake.

Your say: Do you think dietary supplements are effective, or just an expensive waste of time?

Video: Vitamins during pregnancy

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Asher Keddie: The girl who played Ita

Asher Keddie: The girl who played Ita

Actress Asher Keddie on Meryl Streep, relationships and why she hates being asked whether she’ll have children.

As a child, Asher Keddie’s first great acting instructor had been none other than Meryl Streep, undisputed queen of the screen.

Asher saw her in the Academy Award-winning film Kramer Vs. Kramer, playing opposite Dustin Hoffman, for which they both won Oscars.

Related: Ita Buttrose on life, love and family

More than 30 years later, Kramer Vs. Kramer is still her favourite film.

“She [Streep] inspired me,” Asher says. “I think she’s incredible. Her authenticity as an actor is unquestionable. I just really admire her truthfulness to herself.”

Authenticity is an important clue to understanding what Asher Keddie strives for, both on and off the screen.

“I have a fierce need to get to the truth, whether it’s in a relationship with a friend or partner, or my mother or father or sister … I have a fierce need for things to be authentic and truthful, otherwise I’m not interested in the relationship.”

With that search for truth also comes the mess of contradiction, given that in life and art, no person is more interesting than when he or she is plagued by paradox and contradiction.

“I’m full of them,” Asher offers. “They drive me mad sometimes, let alone the people who are in my life.”

Selfless and selfish, I suggest. “Absolutely.” Egotistical but generous?

“Yes, thank you for sizing me up,” she says now with that kettle-about-to-blow laugh of hers, one her husband describes as “a beautiful, dirty, open, naughty child’s laugh”.

“She quite literally cacks herself,” Jay Bowen says. “I will hear her let go from the other room, and I have to come and see what she’s laughing about because I know it’s going to be good. It’s so infectious.”

As is this striving for truth and balance in work and life.

“I’m playing the roles I want to play, the kind of personalities I’ve dreamt of exploring,” Asher says.

Asher and Jay live with their five horses on a property in Victoria’s Macedon Ranges, in the shadow of the famous Hanging Rock, a private universe away from the roar of the crowd.

When the question of children comes up — as it invariably does for this 37-year-old — she often bristles at the judgement implied in the asking.

“Why are we only considered successful if we can juggle family and a demanding career?” she says. “I admire people who can do it, don’t get me wrong. But I feel successful not doing it as well.

“I don’t think, ‘Oh gosh, I won’t be quite there and I won’t be as successful as I want to be unless I’m juggling a couple of kids, a marriage and a career.”

Her relationship with her actor-lead singer husband — a man she describes as an “awesome showman, part Michael Hutchence, part Freddy Mercury” — is, along with their horses and work, fulfilment enough for the time being.

For his part, Jay Bowen is quite clearly smitten with the woman he fell in love with at first sight just over seven years ago.

Jay recalls meeting Asher in 2004 when she appeared opposite David Wenham in the play, Cyrano de Bergerac.

Asher was given the lead female role of Roxanne; Jay, fresh out of acting school, was offered a two-bit role as the “second soldier from the left”.

When he met the blonde from Sandringham, he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. “She was just so compelling,” he says now.

In pictures: Retro Australian Women’s Weekly covers

Not long afterwards, the roles were reversed when Asher invited the rest of the cast to one of Jay’s gigs at a Melbourne pub. When the frontman stepped onto the stage, he saw Asher immediately in the audience looking “gorgeous”, just like that first blush of spring.

He dedicated a song to her called ‘Send Me An Angel’, where, in the chorus, he entreats the gods to Send me an angel, send me an angel, send me an angel, right now. And the gods answered back.

Read more of this story in the November issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Do you think women need to have children to be considered a success?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly magazine for only $64.95 and go into the draw to win 1 of 10 fabulous Hawaiian holiday packages, valued at over $12,000 each.

Video: Paper Giants – the birth of Cleo

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Did Kevin Rudd’s daughter predict his downfall?

Did Kevin Rudd's daughter predict his downfall?

Jessica Rudd

Jessica Rudd’s first novel was about an Australian prime minister bought down by his female deputy. It was written just months before her father Kevin was rolled by Julia Gillard.

There some people who believe that everything happens for a reason and Jessica Rudd is one of them. How could it be otherwise?

Quite by chance, in June of 2010, she found herself in Canberra, just as her beloved father, Kevin Rudd, was being rolled by his own party and removed from the job he had wanted all his life, that of prime minister of Australia.

In pictures: Child stars all grown up

“I was living with Albert [her husband] in Beijing,” says Jessica, in a low voice, the emotion still raw. “Dad phoned me and said he had to go to the Midwinter Ball [an elegant, black-tie fundraiser, hosted by the federal parliamentary press gallery]. Mum was away on business, and would I be his date?”

She quickly flew “home” to Canberra (she means to The Lodge), slipped into an exquisite, floor-length gown and pinned a dramatic flower in her hair.

She was photographed that night in the Grand Hall of Parliament House, beaming, on her dad’s arm. “We went to the ball and we danced,” Jessica says, shrugging. “I had no inkling at all that anything was wrong.”

A little over a week later, there was Jessica again, standing on the steps of Parliament House, this time supporting her father on the lowest day of his life, as he wept for what he had just lost.

Again, there were photographers. Jessica wasn’t all dressed up and beaming this time; her face was white with the strain and the grief, but there was something else going on, too.

Just months earlier, Jessica had delivered the final manuscript of her first novel, Campaign Ruby, to her publisher.

It was about an Australian prime minister brought down by his female deputy, who then becomes Australia’s first female prime minister.

“It was a genuine fluke,” says Jessica. “I predicted stuff and there I was, standing there as it happened.”

Well over a year has passed since that awful day and Jessica is again in what she calls “a good place”.

She has just completed her second novel, Ruby Blues, to be published on October 31, the contents of which are just as startling as the first.

It features a prime minister, Max Masters, who is struggling in his first term and getting whacked in the polls.

Newspapers are describing him as “incompetent” and “uninspiring”, “disappointing” and “overweight”. He wears “crisp white shirts” and ice blue ties, and rubs his steel-rimmed glasses on his sleeves.

His government is being accused of “rushing” to implement its agenda, leading to problems with the programs it rolls out. The PM himself says, “A lot of the time, we just swing from disaster to disaster.”

In pictures: Hollywood’s biggest gentlemen

I have to ask, is the PM modeled on your dad? Jessica has anticipated the question. “I think you see Kevin because the reader expects me to write about my dad,” Jessica says.

“When I see Max in my head, he’s not my dad. He looks a bit like George Clooney and my dad does not look like George Clooney.”

Read more of this story in the November issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Do you think Jessica Rudd’s novels are just a ‘fluke’ as she says, or do they offer more valuable insights into Australian politics?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly magazine for only $64.95 and go into the draw to win 1 of 10 fabulous Hawaiian holiday packages, valued at over $12,000 each.

Video: Jessica Rudd chats about her novels

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Words of wisdom from women of influence

Words of wisdom from women of influence

ABC Director of News Kate Torney, Governor-General Quentin Bryce and midwife Robin Barker.

Some of Australia’s most admired women share the secrets of their success.

Quentin Bryce, Governor-General of the Commonwealth of Australia

Take care of yourself.

When a woman is fit and healthy, everything else falls into place. We are conditioned to put others first, that “burnt chop syndrome” we observed in our own mothers. It takes discipline to pay attention to our diets, to exercise, to leave time for refreshment of mind, body and spirit. And the lesson I pass on to young women I see juggling so many responsibilities, is stop! Yes, you can have it all, but not all at the same time. Set your own priorities, trust your gut and follow your heart.

In pictures: Queen Elizabeth’s Australian tour in pictures

Take time.

Time is the most precious gift we have to give — spending time with the people we love and care about. It must be the “best” sort of time — listening, giving our full attention. When you think of a person whom you love, who is frail or having a rough patch, stop what you’re doing, call, go and see them. Don’t put it off. Do it now.

Robin Barker, Midwife and baby expert

Get regular exercise.

Like most kids who are not particularly good at sport, I avoided routine physical activity for the first 40 years of my life. Then, struck by the jogging bug, I became a runner, swam regularly and discovered, to my surprise, that I was quite competent at both. The benefits for my health and wellbeing were significant: excellent sleep, weight control and a sense of achievement. I have now given up jogging and go for long walks instead. Twelve years ago, I swapped pool swimming for the ocean.

Humour is essential.

I couldn’t survive without humour. The joy of collapsing into paroxysms of wild laughter with family and friends, the relief of finding humour in dark moments, the delight of shared fits of snorting laughter between two people.

Kate Torney, Director of News at the ABC

Treasure family and friends.

They are there long before and after careers and job titles. My husband and I have three children, Ruby, 13, Sadie, eight, and Jack, five, and no matter what’s happening at work, when I get home, they help put things into perspective pretty quickly. My daughter’s response to this article was, “Really? What exactly do you do at work?” For my family and friends, my job is a small part of who I am, and that’s great. Embrace all your roles.

In pictures: Retro Australian Women’s Weekly covers

Several years ago, I was working with Barrie Cassidy on the ABC’s Insiders and, like dozens of other journalists, we were trying to get an interview with the US Secretary of State. I was dealing with a very formal official at the State Department and I had little hope of breaking through.

Early one morning, I woke to find that my then six-year-old daughter had answered the phone and she was busily describing what she had planned for an upcoming birthday party. I assumed she was speaking to her grandmother, but she handed me the phone and I discovered that it was my contact at the State Department. He laughed and told me about his own kids and when we got back to business, it was a lot smoother. Sometimes, your worlds collide and that’s fine.

Read more of this story in the November issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Who do you admire and why?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly magazine for only $64.95 and go into the draw to win 1 of 10 fabulous Hawaiian holiday packages, valued at over $12,000 each.

Video: Quentin Bryce meets the queen

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So happy for you – not

So happy for you - not

More than any other emotion, jealousy can seriously undermine your sanity, as you obsess over a person’s every gesture, seeing them all as ‘proof’ that they are doing you wrong.

While having a partner who is actually unfaithful is one of the most painful experiences you can have, it is also true that jealousy without cause is a curse that can destroy a perfectly good relationship.

It is relentless — as soon as you deal with one cause for jealousy, another comes along — and it grows like a weed.

The more suspicious and needy you are, the more suffocated the other person becomes, to the point that you may push them away — a bitter self-fulfilling prophecy, that you “knew would happen”.

The good news? Jealousy is a habit — and it can be broken with these simple tips.

Name it:

Jealousy is a difficult emotion to own up to. However, true personal power comes from knowing your whole self, including your ‘shadow’ — the bits of you that you don’t really like much. Naming an emotion is the first step towards letting it go.

Dig deeper:

Consider jealousy as a mirror. Why does this person make you feel this way? What qualities do they have that are making you feel insecure? Sit and concentrate on your feelings and see what comes to the surface. You may be surprised to discover that an attribute you thought you found attractive in a partner — he’s so good with people — actually triggers a negative response in you, for example, ‘I don’t have his confidence, so no one will ever warm to me in the same way’.

Change gears:

Odds are, you just identified a fear that you’ve had for some time. Fears are nearly always the product of an imaginary reality. Clinical psychologists tell their patients that the word “fear” is an acronym: False Evidence Appearing Real. When you torture yourself with jealous thoughts, you may be fuelling a vision of your future that only exists in your mind. Ask yourself: is this actually true? Then shift your focus and face the real fear; working on it offers you potential for genuine growth.

Know that you have a choice:

You can continue to stew in your jealousy, or you can let these feelings go. Working on your self-esteem is the first step. Although it may appear that your main emotional relationship is with the other person, in fact it is with yourself. If you believe you are nothing without the other person, you can’t celebrate the many gifts you have. But when you begin to claim your own gorgeousness, you can more readily experience joy, independent of anyone else. Jealous or not, this is something that most of us need to cultivate.

In Buddhism, it is called “sympathetic happiness” — the ability to find contentment in ourselves which moves us beyond the notion that we can be diminished by anyone else.

Your say: Do you suffer from bouts of jealousy in your relationships? Tell us more [email protected]

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The secret to losing tummy fat: Target belly fitness

Lose the jelly belly and achieve your desired beach body with these clever tips. With a little bit of exercise and the right diet, you’ll have a flatter stomach in no time.

That lower belly paunch is actually composed of two types of fat. One kind, subcutaneous, is right under the skin and it’s soft and pinchable. The other kind, inside the abdominal cavity, is visceral fat, it’s a hard fat which helps protect organs. Visceral fat produces various chemicals and excess amounts of it are associated with heart disease and diabetes.

No matter what you weigh, experts agree that a waist circumference over 88 cm for a woman and over 94cm for a man indicates that you may have unsafe levels of visceral fat that may place you at increased risk of obesity-related conditions.

Breathe out before you measure (do not suck in your breath). Wrap the tape measure around your middle. Men should measure around the belly button, and women measure four centimetres above your belly button.

Read also: Belly fat and insulin what is the risk

It may sound odd, but celebrity trainer James Duigan, the man who shaped Elle Macpherson, swears by eating good fats every day to burn body fat.

The fats found in nuts, avocados, oily fish and olive oils encourage your body to burn fat, giving you a nice, flat tummy. Avoid bad fats, such as hydrogenated oil, hydrogenated vegetable fat and partially hydrogenated vegetable fat.

By feeding yourself smaller meals more often during the day, you keep the metabolism ticking over throughout the day. This constantly keeps the fat fires burning and is a simple adjustment to make to your daily routine.

The microflora colony in the digestive tract should be made up of 85 percent friendly bacteria to 15 percent harmful bacteria. But imbalanced gut flora can lead to gas and bloating. Taking a probiotic supplement and eating foods that include probiotics will help relieve the bloating and rebalance your tummy health.

Read also: Keep your tummy happy and healthy

There is no diet that targets tummy fat alone. But when you lose weight, belly fat usually goes first. Here is a list of foods that are best to eat for a flat tummy:

• Water and cranberry juice will flush out toxins;

• Vegetables;

• Protein. Opt for organic chicken and meat because they have less hormones and bacteria;

• Low-GI foods. Look for the label on foods in supermarkets:

• Fibre. It regulates your bowel movements so include wholegrain bread, cereal and nuts in your diet.

• Too much fruit, wheat and dairy can cause bloating. Reduce your servings to two a day.

• Avoid Alcohol, caffeine and fizzy drinks.

• Salt makes you retain water. Beware of processed (takeaway, packet) foods which are high in sodium and sugar.

• Sugar, which promotes weight gain.

• Go easy on chillies and spices. While they can kick-start your metabolism, they can also upset your stomach, so just monitor your body’s reaction to spicy foods.

Anything that raises your heart rate above its resting level will help burn fat. A combination of cardio, such as cycling or walking, and weight training is the best if you want results. Start with three cardio work-outs a week for 40 minutes each. But cardio exercise has been shown to trim fat, and also slow the build-up of visceral fat over the years. Whether you choose to hit the treadmill, swim, walk, do an aerobics class or jump on a bike is up to you.

Adding strength to your training can supercharge your fitness, boost your metabolism and burn off that extra fat. If you increase your lean body mass, you increase your metabolic rate, which in return makes it easier to lose fat.

The bad news is that there aren’t any moves that specifically target belly fat. While you may be able to lose weight overall, it’s very difficult to spot reduce certain parts of our body. The good news is that there are exercises that strengthen the abdominal muscles. Try the following 3 exercises to achieve that chiselled six pack.

Sit-ups are great, but your muscles need to be challenged and abdominal exercises don’t have to be done just on the floor. The best abdominal exercises are those that stabilise and strengthen the entire core area, not just the six-pack muscles. Kayaking offers great resistance training. If you can’t get access to a kayak, try the rowing machine at your local gym.

Try the yoga position ‘the plank’. Lie on your stomach on the floor, raise your body off the floor and onto your hands and toes, making sure you keep your body in a straight line and your stomach in. Breathe normally and hold for as long as you can. Try aim for a minute.

The beauty of the ‘zip and hollow’ Pilates move is that you can do this anywhere without anyone noticing. Next time you are in the supermarket queue, or standing on the bus, give this move a go. As you exhale, draw up your pelvic floor muscles and gently hollow your lower abdominals back towards your spine.

Managing your stress matters. When you’re under stress, the body makes cortisol, a hormone that encourages fat storage in the belly. Find an outlet for your worries like boxing, reading, swimming or painting.

A lack of sleep plays a role in the build-up of fat. According to nutritionist and exercise physiologist Caitlin Reid, a lack of sleep increases the production of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as insulin secretion after a meal. Both these hormones promote weight gain. During sleep, our bodies produce hormones that help to control appetite, energy metabolism and glucose processing.

Read also: How sleeplessness affects your health

Celebrity trainer James Duigan says many of his model clients take an Epsom salts bath just before a bikini photo shoot. Epsom salts are an ancient remedy for drawing out toxins. And according to James, soaking in one or two of these baths a week will speed up your weight loss.

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