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The truth about marrying a younger man

The truth about marrying a younger man

Claudia Opdenkelder and her fiance Paul

The older woman and younger man relationship is no longer a fad, it’s a phenomenon.

Canadian beauty Claudia Opdenkelder, CEO of wildly popular dating site CougarLife.com, was a 39-year-old confirmed bachelorette when she met the love of her life, a man 13 years her junior. A year later, they are engaged. “I have never been happier,” she says.

We chatted with Claudia about the benefits of a relationship with a younger man.

Are younger men different to older men?

Yes they are. We have to thank their mothers — empowered women who have a voice in the family. Some were out there working or bringing up kids on their own. These guys have grown up seeing strong women.

What do you think the appeal of the older woman is for the younger man?

A lot of guys don’t date younger girls anymore because the girls are wondering how much money the guys make or what kind of car they drive. We’re not built that way — we’ve already established ourselves and we don’t need to worry about them being able to support us. We can both just enjoy the ride and see where it goes.

What are the advantages for the ladies?

They have no baggage — you don’t need to hear about their troubled pasts. They have zero ego — you’re not dealing with someone who has a tough time with you making more money than them. They’re so confident — they love that you’re in your sexual prime and what you see is what you get. I think it just happens to work out because the chemistry is there and it’s perfect timing. I’ve told my fiancé, Paul, “If I had met you any sooner, I wouldn’t have been ready for you yet.”

Some women reject younger men, assuming they won’t want children soon enough.

The issue of children is something that needs to be discussed no matter what age — or religion or culture — you are. Something like that is very individual.

When I met my fiancé he was 26, and he was already ready for everything. I told him where I stood and he said, “If you don’t want kids or marriage I am still going to be with you. It’s not worth losing the love of my life over.”

So we moved in together and as time went on we started to discuss marriage, and I thought, “Well, Paul is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, what’s marriage?” So now I’m all about it … I’m planning the wedding! The topic of kids came back up and I’ve told him I’ll think about it.

What about the fear of being left when you start to age?

Well you know what? Men aren’t looking so cute when they get older either — they’re balding and they have man boobs and hair coming out of places it shouldn’t! My fiancé and I joke about it all the time. I tell him, “You need to be worried that I’m not going to trade you in for someone younger.”

As long as you’re a strong, confident woman and you have a real chemistry and a real relationship, getting older is not something that’s going to be the breaking point. It’s never been about the younger woman, they know what they are getting into, so why would they trade you in?

With any relationship you don’t know what you’re going to get. You hope that in the end you’re happy and not jilted, and I think you get that at any age.

So do you believe in true love?

Yes, I believe in true love, but I also believe that you need to go through a lot of fun, sexy relationships before you find the one. As you get into the “dirty thirties” you’re finally comfortable with your body, and you’re able to feel sexy and not feel like you have to make excuses. You embrace yourself.

Paul is one in a million. He’s very mature and worldly and cultured and just all around excellent person. It had to take someone like him to get me to this place.

Your say: Would you ever date a younger man? Tell us at [email protected]

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The Lady of the Rivers

The Lady of the Rivers

Well bred, well connected and with a reputation for making magic, Jacquetta of Luxembourg has a fascinating tale to tell.

Bestselling author Philippa Gregory continues her series, The Cousins’ War, with The Lady of the Rivers, mother of the White Queen.

To read the first chapter of The Lady of the Rivers by Philippa Gregory click here.

Win our Book of the Month

Be one of the first 25 people to sign up to the Simon & Schuster monthly update and correctly answer the competition question for your chance to win a copy of The Lady of the Rivers by Philippa Gregory.

To join the AWW and Simon & Schuster book club and chat about our books online click here.

To read about previously featured Simon & Schuster book titles click here.

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10 best post workout meals

Here’s the first thing you need to know when it comes to post-workout food and fat loss: It is best to eat something within 30 minutes to an hour after training to replenish your body’s energy stores and repair muscle tissue. After a workout your muscles are depleted of nutrients, specifically carbohydrates and electrolytes such as potassium. The key is to follow up with meals that combine protein, which helps your muscles recover, and carbohydrates, which replenish energy stores. Here is our list of favourite healthy workout meals.

10 best post workout meals

Here’s the first thing you need to know when it comes to post-workout food and fat loss: It is best to eat something within 30 minutes to an hour after training to replenish your body’s energy stores and repair muscle tissue. After a workout your muscles are depleted of nutrients, specifically carbohydrates and electrolytes such as potassium. The key is to follow your workout with meals that combine protein, which helps your muscles recover, and carbohydrates, which replenish energy stores. Here is our list of favourite healthy workout meals.

Liquid meals are easily digested, quickly absorbed and, most of all, convenient. You can easily make the shake at home and take it to the gym. Select your protein powder or bar carefully and look for one provides a mix of protein and carbs. For a shake with a difference, mix whey powder with frozen berries and water. The whey provides the protein; the berries provide the carbs.

Eggs are the best protein source ever. There’s protein in both the yolk and the white of an egg. Orange juice provides plenty of carbs and vitamin C. If you workout in the morning, take a boiled egg and a frozen juice to the gym. The juice will thaw as you exercise and keep the egg cool as well.

Bananas are nature’s perfect post workout food. One large banana contains up to two grams of protein; four grams of fibre; 36 grams of carbohydrates; half a gram of fat; 602 milligrams of potassium and no cholesterol. Eat this with a tub of yoghurt or cottage cheese for a protein hit.

One can of tuna in water provides an 42 grams of protein for under 200 calories. Tuna will also provide niacin, selenium, and Vitamins B6 and B12. Crackers are a great source of carbs. Avoid mayo, and add some fresh lemon juice for taste.

A turkey wrap is a particularly great meal if you work out during your lunch break. It’s got everything in a hand-held package. Wholegrain wraps are loaded with wholesome carbohydrates. Turkey is a lean protein source. Top this with salad and tomatoes for a boost of vitamin C. For a meat-free alternative, hummus is an excellent source of both protein and carbs.

Protein-rich salmon is a packed full of omega-3s, and will keepyou satisfied to avoid snacking. Try pairing salmon with spinach or green beans for vitamins and minerals and sweet potato for slow-burning carbohydrates.

Wholegrain cereals such as mueslis are loaded with protein, carbs and other important vitamins and minerals while milk is an easily digestible and complete source of both casein and whey protein. Add a tablespoon of yoghurt for protein and some fresh berries for micronutrients that help prevent muscle soreness.

Tasty and refreshing, a yogurt-based smoothie provides the essential amino acid required for muscle recovery. Try this recipe: Half a cup of yoghurt, 1 banana, half a cup of skim milk or almond milk, 1 tablespoon of peanut butter for protein, and 1 tsp of ground flax for a dose of omega-3s.

Skinless chicken breast is an excellent source of lean protein. Add some brown rice for fibre and carbs, load up with the vegetables and you’re good to go.

If you are away from a kitchen, dried fruits and nuts are a simple solution. Store a sandwich bag filled with dried fruit and nuts in your gym bag. Nuts provide a dose of protein and fats, and fruits will give you a shot of simple carbohydrates to replenish your muscle glycogen quickly.

NEXT: 10 ways to beat your sugar addiction

Accredited nutritionist Caitlin Reid’s top tips to tame your sweet tooth.

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A DIY guide to living longer

A DIY guide to living longer

Can we take steps to live longer? Are there ways to reduce the risk of chronic disease and add years to our lives? New research suggests we can and it is as simple as sticking to four key lifestyle factors.

    1. Stay a healthy weight;
    1. Walk for 30 minutes every day;
    1. Eat fruits, vegetables and wholegrains; and
    1. Don’t smoke.

In pictures: How to lose kilos without noticing

For more than 20 years, the European Prospective Investigation into Cancer and Nutrition (EPIC) has been investigating diet, lifestyle and environmental factors and their links with the incidence of chronic disease.

Its new research, the EPIC-Potsdam study, reveals these four key lifestyle factors have the potential to dramatically reduce the onset of chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes and cancer, and therefore help us live longer.

Australian statistics show that many of us will develop heart disease, diabetes or cancer — especially as we get older.

So while adopting these four lifestyle factors seems logical, the fact is at this stage only one out of 10 Australians is actually managing to get even one of these important factors right.

The good news is any positive changes you make to your lifestyle will help. The research shows adopting just one of the healthy living traits will help in lowering your risk of developing long-term chronic disease, and the more lifestyle factors you follow, the better.

Let’s take a closer look at each of these four key healthy lifestyle factors:

Healthy weight

Of the four recommendations, maintaining a healthy weight has the greatest impact on longevity and the risk of disease. For most people, weight gain occurs in small amounts, the fact is it can sneak up over a number of years. And usually, the most effective weight loss is small and sustainable (around half a kilo per week).

Activity

Walking is a great low-impact activity that is easy for most people to do. Thirty minutes each day is all it takes. Remember, you can divide it into two 15-minute blocks, so you can do a session in your lunch break and another before or after work. When you break it down like that, it could be as easy as choosing active options such as walking to the next bus stop, or walking to the shops instead of taking the car.

Smoking

If you don’t smoke, the best way to help your health is to never start. If you are a smoker, you need to be mindful that it carries some serious health consequences. But it is never too late to stop and the good news is there are many effective strategies and support groups that can help. The best place to start is to call Quitline (137 878).

Food choices

Our body needs food for survival, so naturally what we eat is going to have an effect on how well our body functions. The researchers in the EPIC-Potsdam study highlight the importance of a variety of fruits, vegetables and wholegrains (wholemeal bread, wholegrain cereal, brown rice).

In pictures: Ten gym habits that are holding you back

It is rare to find research with such conclusive results. One of the most impactful points the researchers highlight in their conclusion is that for people who are meeting none of the four key lifestyle factors, achieving even one promises to increase the time free of chronic conditions.

It goes to show that small changes can make a big difference to our health and how long we live.

Your say: What are your best tips for making good food choices easier?

Video: Healthy food tricks for happy kids

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Love Story: Sandra Sully’s dream wedding

Love Story: Sandra Sully's dream wedding

Sandra Sully never expected to find happiness like the happiness she has found in the arms of Symon Brewis-Weston.

For much of the past decade, Sandra, one of the most popular newsreaders on Australian television, lived a life constrained by anxiety after a brutal assault that left her both traumatised and distrustful. Yet meeting and falling in love with Symon, a handsome, spontaneous corporate banker, has revitalised Sandra’s faith in both life and love, and provided the catalyst to finally leave the past behind her as they look to a new future together.

Related: Expensive celebrity weddings

“Symon is the best thing that ever happened to me,” says Sandra, who married Symon in an elegant ceremony at the Sydney Opera House recently.

“He came into my life at exactly the right moment. Knowing him has brought me a new perspective. I was ready for someone new in my life, but I wasn’t expecting to find someone like Symon, someone with whom I share so much. I certainly wasn’t expecting to get married again, but I’m madly in love and I don’t think I have ever been happier.”

Sandra Sully is one of life’s great survivors. If anyone deserves personal happiness and security, then perhaps it’s her. For nearly two decades, she has been one of the most recognised faces on our TV screens, first reporting the news and then presenting it. Yet behind the perfect image and modulated voice, Sandra has endured years of personal turmoil, the aftermath of an assault that shook her life to its foundations and still reverberates today, more than 14 years later.

In a wide-ranging and candid interview, Sandra, now in her late 40s, speaks openly about falling in love with and marrying Symon, 42, an executive general manager with the Commonwealth Bank.

Sandra also breaks her silence about the assault, its aftermath, including the end of her first marriage, and her long, sometimes difficult path to recovery, and her close relationship with Symon’s adopted six-year-old daughter, Mia, to whom she is now both friend and step-mother. “Mia is a blessing for both of us,” says Sandra, “and the most wonderful surprise for me. We have a lovely relationship. I fell in love with Symon and she is part of that. I never expected to be a step-mother, but Mia is a beautiful gift in my life.”

When Sandra entered the marquee at the Opera House for her wedding to Symon, she was greeted by a crowd of family and friends. “I came in and saw Symon waiting for me on the dais at the front of the room, and saw all these smiling faces turned toward me. I had tears streaming down my face as I walked by. It was everything I wanted for the day and more.”

Sandra wore a diamond-encrusted bracelet, set with a string of blue sapphires. Initially, she didn’t want a ring – “I already had the man, I didn’t really need a ring” – but Symon convinced her to at least look at some. Then, when she had left the store, he returned and bought the one she liked most. “He likes to surprise me, so how could I say no,” she says, laughing.

Related: Most amazing royal wedding dresses

When Sandra and Symon made their vows, they stood on the dais with Mia standing beside them. “She was so excited,” says Sandra. “And she loved it. We were so very proud of her. It was wonderful to have her with us to share that moment. Afterwards, she was dancing with the band and dancing with our friends, and doing handstands. It was lovely to see.”

Read more about Sandra Sully’s love story in the October issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Tell us about your dream wedding

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly for just $69.95 and receive a FREE The Christmas Collection Cookbook, valued at $49.95. That’s a 15% saving on the retail price.

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All about the dress: The designer who made Sandra Sully a perfect bride

Sandra Sully

Sandra Sully had no idea what she wanted when she started looking for a wedding dress, but after stumbling across a gown when browsing online one night, her mind was made up.

An online search took her to Sydney couture designer Rhonda Hemmingway’s website for her store in Double Bay, where Rhonda has the sole rights to the Elie Saab brand, the designer of Sandra’s beautiful dress. After setting up a private appointment, consultations, liaising with importers, and countless hours of labouring in fitting Sandra’s frock, the then bride-to-be had her first fitting and never looked back.

Related: Sandra Sully’s dream wedding

“I tried a couple of dresses, but when I put this one on it made the fairy tale real,” Sandra says.

“The very moment I tried it, I felt like a bride. There were no second thoughts. I wanted it to be simple, and the decision process was just that.”

But it wasn’t so simple behind the scenes.

Rhonda and her team worked flat out for two weeks to transform the dress to make it perfect for Sandra’s wedding to Symon Brewis-Weston, so that it would fit her like a glove. This is what the designer does best, and has been doing for over 20 years.

“We had two machinists working flat out for two weeks,” Rhonda recalls.

“We made it completely to measure for her. It was an Elie Saab design but the dress had to be literally completely taken apart and remade so it was perfect for Sandra.”

Related: Most amazing royal wedding dresses

What resulted was a beautiful bridal gown, true to the original design but with Rhonda’s signature haute couture touch.

She added a shoulder piece and additional draping to the dress from French Chantilly lace, with a silk tulle layer over the top of the skirt that was appliqued with beaded lace. The detachable additions allowed Sandra to reveal a beautiful beaded lace gown underneath for the reception.

“I thought she looked pretty special. She looked as good as it gets,” Rhonda says.

Rhonda Hemmingway is the only importer of Elie Saab wedding gowns in Australia, the designer who she is tipping as “the new Valentino”. She alters imported dresses to a perfect fit, along with her own designs available at the Double Bay store. Sandra Sully is one of many fans of the couturier’s work.

“I couldn’t have been happier with the dress, and with everything on the day. Have you ever felt so happy you were a bit guilty about it? That’s how I felt,” Sandra says.

Read more about Sandra Sully’s love story in the October issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: What do you think of Sandra’s dress?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly for just $69.95 and receive a FREE The Christmas Collection Cookbook, valued at $49.95. That’s a 15% saving on the retail price.

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Tips to lower your blood pressure

Blood pressure test

High blood pressure affects 30 percent of Australians. Accredited nutritionist Caitlin Reid tells you how you can manage your levels.

High blood pressure is a major risk factor for coronary heart disease, stroke, heart failure, peripheral vascular disease and renal failure. Alarmingly, 3.7 million Australians over the age of 25 years have high blood pressure. The major causes of high blood pressure including being overweight, excess alcohol consumption, physical inactivity, salt intake, smoking and stress. Here are some lifestyle changes you can make to help you take the pressure down.

Up the fruit and vegetable intake

Most of us could benefit from eating more potassium. Results from the Third National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey in 2001 found that a diet containing eight and a half daily serves of fruits and vegetables (providing 4100mg of potassium), lowered blood pressure by 7.2mmHg systolic and 2.8mmHg diastolic in people diagnosed with high blood pressure, compared to a diet providing only three and a half serves of fruits and vegetables (1700mg of potassium). Make sure you include at least two serves of fruit and five serves of vegetables each day.

Drop the salt

Although the suggested dietary target for sodium is 1600mg per day (or 4g), the average Australian consumes much more than this — about double! Even if you don’t add salt to your food, processed foods like bread, sauces, breakfast cereals, cheese, soups and processed meats contain plenty. In fact, 75 percent of the salt we eat is already in the food we eat.

Reducing your salt intake can reduce blood pressure by 2 to 8mmHg. Cut back on the salt you eat by looking for products that are reduced salt, low salt or contain no added salt and flavour your meals with herbs and spices instead of salt.

Limit the amount of alcohol you drink

Excessive alcohol intake can raise blood pressure to unhealthy levels. In fact, research shows that heavy drinkers who cut back to moderate drinking levels can lower their systolic blood pressure by up to 4mmHg and their diastolic blood pressure by up to 2mmHg. Limit alcohol consumption to no more than two standard drinks per day.

Reduce your stress

Stressful situations causes a surge in hormones that temporarily increase blood pressure by causing the heart to beat faster and the blood vessels to narrow. However more research is needed to determine whether this can result in long-term elevations in blood pressure levels.

It may be that other behaviours linked to stress such as overeating, drinking alcohol and poor sleep habits cause high blood pressure. While reducing stress might not directly lower blood pressure over the long term, managing stress can improve your health and lead to behaviour change. Yoga, meditation and exercise are all great ways to destress.

Include low-fat dairy products

You might be surprised to hear this, but low-fat dairy can have a positive affect on blood pressure. In a Harvard study of nearly 29,000 US women aged 45 or older, it was found that those who consumed at least two serves of dairy per day were 11 percent less likely to have high blood pressure than women who ate less than one daily serve of dairy. The nutrient in dairy thought to produce this positive effect against hypertension is thought to be calcium. Include three serves of low-fat dairy every day.

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Jen’s new man gets a make-over

When you’re Jennifer Aniston‘s new man, it’s only a matter of time before you update your look and it looks like Justin Theroux has done just that.

The couple stepped out together in New York on September 26 with Justin sporting a surprising new look — a fashionable new hairstyle.

His usual structured, slicked-back hair has been transformed into a trendy tussled look, making him look a lot younger than his 40 years.

The pair was out and about while Jen promoted her new venture Project Five, a five-part anthology series focusing on raising awareness for breast cancer, which she directed alongside Alicia Keys and Demi Moore.

Jen’s new man gets a make-over.

Jen and Justin out together in New York.

Justin’s new ‘do is care free compared to his usual slicked back style.

Either way, it seems Jen is loving every minute with her new man.

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Why Helen Mirren doesn’t regret not having children

Why Helen Mirren doesn't regret not having children

Dame Helen Mirren says although she once tried to talk herself into having children, she doesn’t regret her decision not to.

The 66-year-old actress, who has been married to director Taylor Hackford for 25 years, says she never felt maternal urges despite her efforts, The News Review reported.

“It’s not that I don’t love children, they are funny and I just love them, but I never wanted to have them,” she said. “I really tried to want it at one point. I thought maybe I should. But I never convinced myself.”

The Debt star added that her decision was beneficial to the world, as she believes it is overpopulated.

“I think some men and women just don’t have a deep urge to procreate,” she said. “I think still it is very fine not to want children. There are far too many people in the world. It’s my contribution to ecology.”

Mirren also admits to have a “sense of adventure” and says this contributed to her not wanting children as she hates being tied down to one place for too long.

“I still have a gypsy sense of adventure. I don’t think I have slept in the same bed for more than three or four months my whole life,” she said.

“I am always planting vegetables that I never get to eat and flowers that I never get to see flower. I have always moved around the world.”

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Four out of 10 men would hire someone to do DIY jobs

Four out of 10 men would hire someone to do DIY jobs

Finding it hard to get those little jobs done around the house? A new British study has found that the modern man has no quick fixes when it comes to DIY.

The study found that four out of 10 men said that they would rather hire a tradesman than attempt a basic job themselves, while 72 percent said they wouldn’t know how to replace a broken tile.

So what’s the reason behind the lack of handy-jobs no know how? Partners who automatically call a handyman when a job needs doing and long hours spent at work are the two main reasons.

However, almost half of the 2000 men surveyed said no one had ever taught them how to carry out straightforward tasks and had never got around to teaching themselves.

Of the men surveyed 73 percent didn’t know how to change a leaking tap while 61 percent said they didn’t know how to lay turf.

One in five added that when they attempted to fix a problem, they only made it worse.

Chris Burke of RatedPeople.com, an online company who finds local Tradesman in the UK, which commissioned the study, said it was surprising how many men were not handy around the home.

“People who assume most men can turn their hand to some of the more basic tasks, such as drilling a few holes to fit a curtain rail are wrong,” he said.

“On bigger tasks such as doing the plumbing in bathroom suites or fitting kitchens, sometimes it’s just better to source outside help rather than risk things going wrong.”

The survey also revealed that their lack of knowledge made men feel inadequate with 14 percent too proud to call in a tradesman.

Your say: Do you agree with the findings from this study?

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