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Gok Wan’s style secrets

Gok Wan's style secrets

Are you an hour glass? Pear shape? No idea? If you’ve never considered what body shape you are UK stylist Gok Wan is here to help.

“In 16 years of dressing women — over 40,000 in my career — I would say the first question any woman will ask me is ‘what body shape am I?'” Gok says.

Gok, who isn’t afraid to take everyday women of all shapes and sizes, young and old, out of their clothing comfort zone, has just wrapped up his second Aussie tour this year.

Teaming up with Westfield, Gok has toured Australian shopping centres doing what he does best — dressing woman and helping them to embrace their body shape.

And it’s clear to see why women love Gok.

“Who wants Aunty Gok to dress them?” He asked an enthusiastic crowd at the launch of his tour in Sydney, before choosing a clearly delighted woman, measuring her up and declaring she is an hourglass body shape.

So, for all the women after some styling advice from “Aunty” Gok himself, we asked him his top styling tips, how to learn your body shape and how to feel confident in your skin, at any age.

Why do you think 93 pe cent of Australian woman are not confident in their clothes?

Because they’ve been dictated to for so long but the revolution has begun, and women are now starting to dress for themselves and not for anybody else!

What’s the best way for woman to get confident in their clothes?

Understand your own personal style, and consider three things — firstly your body shape; secondly — commit to a maximum of two styles per season; and thirdly — make sure the clothes that you’re wearing suit your lifestyle.

Is there a common mistake woman are making when it comes to choosing clothes?

The most common mistake is shopping for trend first and body shape second — it should be the reverse!

Do under garments and the way they fit make a big difference to feeling confident in an outfit?

Underwear is the most powerful part of a woman’s wardrobe, because you would never build a house on soggy soil!

How can older woman keep their outfits young and fun without dressing too young for their age?

There is no such thing as dressing too young for your age — ever. I don’t believe in it — I think it’s about dressing for your body shape first.

Once woman know how to dress do they get a confidence boost?

Yes — absolutely 100 percent — I think that the best accessory any women can wear is her confidence.

Do you have any stand out success stories?

I’d like to think all my dressing of women has been successful, but perhaps the most notable was when I dressed Di Cramer, who is a blind woman in the UK and I taught her about colour for the first time since she was 17. She’s in her 60s now and that was quite remarkable.

Westfield have launched a body shape calculator, can you explain how this tool works?

Go to westfield.com.au/bodyshapecalculator and you input your details for your bust, your waist and hips, and it calculates your individual shape instantly — in just moments. It’s a tool that every single person should use to determine their individual shape — it is easy, very effective and will change the rest of your lives when it comes to shopping.

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Larry Emdur: The nicest guy in TV

Larry Emdur: The nicest guy in TV

Larry Emdur

Larry Emdur hit a career low withCelebrity Dog School, but the master of re-invention is now one of TV’s most loved hosts.

It was not so long ago that Larry Emdur was the butt of jokes in Australian television circles.

Finding himself jobless — yet again — after the axing ofWheel of Fortune, the TV presenter had to sit back and cop it as a placard-wielding Rove McManus, from the rival Ten Network, launched a tongue-in-cheek crusade to “Save Larry Emdur”.

Related: Sandra Sully’s dream wedding

Then cameCelebrity Dog School, a dog of a show, which Larry hosted for just three episodes in 2007 before it, too, was canned.

“You know times are tough when you end up doingCelebrity Dog School,” says legendary TV producer Adam Boland, chuckling.

Even Larry’s sister, the acclaimed artist Martine Emdur, admits that the close-knit family has had some “serious giggles at his expense” over the years.

Yet, these days, it is Larry who is having the last laugh — all the way to the bank.

When we meet, Larry has just wrapped up another episode of the infomercial-packedThe Morning Show, which over the years has seen him rap with Vanilla Ice, strut the catwalk with Australian supermodel Alyssa Sutherland and get naked under the covers while discussing the sexual droughts of married couples.

“When I’m driving to work each day, I know it’s going to be fun, it’s going to be different,” he says. “That’s the beauty of it.”

Larry says nobody — least of all him — predictedThe Morning Show’ssuccess when it launched in 2007, immediately knocking Australia’s daytime TV queen Kerri-Anne Kennerley off her ratings throne.

He had planned to give the show six months “to see how it worked out”, but a month into the new gig, he went home to his wife, Sylvie, and told her he could see himself doing it for the next decade.

He had found a place, outside the “boxing ring” of prime-time TV, where he could have fun, use his creative talents — and still be home for the school run.

Friends and family speak of Larry’s devotion to his family — to Sylvie, their children Jye, 17, and Tia, 12, and his wider family.

He lives within five minutes of his mother, his sister, Martine, and her young son, Asher, and of his psychologist sister, Nicole, and her four children.

“We spend a lot of time together and Laz and Sylvie are still holding hands and kissing at the dinner table,” says Martine. “They still look at each other with googly eyes!”

Related: Tara Brown – baby bliss at 43

Last year, Larry whipped his wife off to Bora Bora to renew their wedding vows after 15 years of marriage.

“The business is so crazy and all-consuming,” he says, “and she’s been so supportive. I just wanted to tell her that I love her and to make it special.”

Adam Boland, who is now a consultant and director of social media and strategy with Seven, predicts the network will use Larry for special broadcasts, such as New Year’s Eve. “He’s back from the wilderness in a big way.”

Read more of this story in the October issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly for just $69.95 and receive a FREE The Christmas Collection Cookbook, valued at $49.95. That’s a 15% saving on the retail price.

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Oprah Winfrey reveals her biggest mistake

Oprah Winfrey reveals her biggest mistake

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey’s eponymous talk show aired for 25 years, but in all that time the TV star only had one major regret — her infamous “wagon of fat”.

In the now-legendary ‘Diet Dreams Come True’ episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, Oprah donned a pair of size 10 Calvin Klein jeans and wheeled out a wagon containing 67 pounds of fat to represent the weight she had lost.

In pictures: Oprah’s famous friends

The episode aired on November 15, 1988, but the star still regrets it 23 years later. In a candid interview with Entertainment Tonight the talk show queen named the incident as her biggest blunder.

“Big, big, big mistake,” she said, rolling her eyes. “When I look at that show, I think it was one of the biggest ego trips of my life.”

In pictures: Oprah Winfrey

Asked what she would tell herself if she could go back in time, Oprah shrieked: “I would say, ‘Don’t do it! It’s a great TV moment but don’t do it!”

Oprah’s new show Lifeclass premieres on her OWN network next week. It will see her teaching her life lessons to others in a bid to make their lives happier.

Your say: Did you think Oprah’s “wagon of fat” was entertaining, or a mistake?

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Secrets of India: sex, tigers and temples

Central India has many dazzling places to visit, but the holy city of Varanasi, the "Kama Sutra" temples of Khajuraho and Panna National Park Tiger Reserve are not to be missed.
The River Ganges at Varanasi

Central India has many dazzling places to visit, but the holy city of Varanasi, the “Kama Sutra” temples of Khajuraho and Panna National Park Tiger Reserve are not to be missed.

Sacred River at Varanasi

It’s probably the biggest communal bathing event in the world. Every day, about 60,000 Hindus come down to the River Ganges at Varanasi to wash away their sins. After all, Varanasi is one of the holiest cities in India and the Ganges, or Great Mother, the most sacred river on the Indian sub-continent.

To visit Varanasi is to spend time on the Ganges – together they are the beating heart of the Hindu universe. The old city’s one-kilometre riverfront is one of the most colourful places on earth. Women dressed in rainbow-hued saris mingle with holy men in saffron robes (right). Buildings painted pink and white, blue and yellow, to name but a couple of the colour combinations, give way to broad flights of stone steps, known as ghats, which sweep down to the water, where the pilgrims bathe.

Some of the busiest ghats are also the most accessible. At Dasaswamedh Ghat, dozens of Brahmin priests gather at dusk to perform holy rites on raised platforms under giant cobwebs of fairy lights. Dasaswamedh is ghat central, a good place to begin a walk along the river.A five-minute walk north is Manikarnika Ghat, where funeral pyres burn all day in front of the Shiva Temple. The cadavers, dressed in linen shrouds with splashes of gold foil, are brought on stretchers and burnt in public – the poorest on pyres of sticks, the richest on sandalwood logs.

To be cremated in the shadow of this temple is highly auspicious, but a spookier place it is difficult to imagine. Once blood red, the temple domes are now black from the soot of countless cremations. If any place inspired the Temple of Doom in the Indiana Jones film, this must be it. Most of the ghats – and there are about 80 of them – are about bathing rather than burial and the best way to see them is by row boat. Hire one at dawn and watch the sun rise over the river. Then, in the lovely light of morning, ask your oarsman to row up and down the river.

Close to Pandhey Ghat, you will see hundreds of saffron-robed yoga devotees meditating as they walk in long processions behind their gurus (right). Around Shivala and Dandi ghats, magnificent palaces, built by maharajas, line the riverfront. Every ruler of note has built a residence on the western bank of the Ganges. Yet, whether rich or poor, every Hindu lucky enough to die at Varanasi has their ashes scattered in the currents of the great River Ganges.

Don’t miss

Hire a row boat at dawn and dusk to watch the multitudes bathing in the river and see the sacred rites and sites along the river’s banks. Overseas visitors are strongly advised not to swim in the Ganges because, by Western standards, it is heavily polluted.

Spend a morning at Sarnath (20 minutes drive away), the 6th-century Buddhist sacred site with its giant brick stupa and holy banyan tree, where the Buddha is known to have preached.

Visit Vishwanath Temple, known as the Golden Temple, and admire the 800kg of gold plate on the tower and dome.

Stay

In the grounds of the Gateway Hotel Ganges Varanasi (www.thegatewayhotels.com),you’ll find a neo-classical marble palace, built by the local maharaja. In 1895, Maharaja Anant Narain Singh decided it was time to court the British, so he built a “guest house” fit for a king. Soon after its completion, an heir to the British throne, George, Prince of Wales, (later George V), arrived with Princess Mary in tow. After that, there was no stopping them – various dukes and duchesses, Queen Elizabeth II, the King of Nepal, a dozen Indian princes, Jawaharlal Nehru, independent India’s first prime minister, and the Dalai Lama followed over the years.

Today, the palace is officially a hotel, called the Nadesar Palace Hotel (above) (www.tajhotels.com) where you can stay in suites named after its former blue blood guests. It’s a tranquil spot in an otherwise notoriously noisy city – the perfect place to be pampered like a royal. The floors are either Italian marble with inlaid semi-precious stones or teak. The suites are spacious, the service immaculate and the food – Anglo and Indian – exquisite.

If you have a royal budget, stay at the palace. Otherwise, make a booking at the Gateway with its modern, stylish rooms, where you don’t have to be a prince to pay the bill.

Sex, Sculpture and Temples: Khajuraho

Sex sells. In the 10th century, the Chandela dynasty covered their temples at Khajuraho (right) with copulating figures in positions from the Kama Sutra (below). Today, curious tourists still flock to the site, a beautiful park dotted with temples, on the outskirts of the rural town of Khajuraho. “Many people come to see the copulating figures,” said my guide, “and they rarely leave disappointed. As you can see, the figures are most sensual.”

Of all the figures, the ones I liked least were those copulating. Not because I’m a prude. It’s just that sex doesn’t look much fun when fixed in stone. It was the humour that charmed me. Next to one naughty threesome was a row of eight elephant heads, depicting the god Ganesh, all looking straight ahead into eternity, except the one closest to the frolicking figures, whose head was tilted their way with a mischievous expression on its face. That made me laugh – a joke frozen in time, 1100 years after it was put there.

Many of the figures are exquisitely carved. Forget the Elgin Marbles. The work from ancient Greece is as fine, but nowhere near as well preserved and totally without playful humour or as much drama.

At Khajuraho, there are maidens dressed in sheer fabrics standing in rain showers, where rivulets running across their skin look as delicate as tracery. One beautiful woman appears to be smiling at her lover, but when the observer takes several paces back, her expression changes to absolute loathing.

There are two main groups of temples on the outskirts of this charming rural town. Both are worth visiting, but if you’re pressed for time, choose the western group first.

Don’t miss

Panna National Park Tiger Reserve (see below).

Stay

Hotel Chandela (www.tajhotels.com) is surrounded by a gorgeous garden with mature trees and a wonderful vegetable patch, where they grow vegies for the hotel kitchen. It’s comfortable and beautifully maintained, has a swimming pool and garden view rooms.

Panna National Park Tiger Reserve

Just half an hour’s drive from Khajuraho is a beautiful national park that attracts so few visitors, you’re likely to have its 543sq kms to yourself. It’s called a tiger reserve, but at last count, there was only one solitary male, even though there are plans to airlift a young female from Bandhavgarh National Park, where 56 tigers live. Like many tiger reserves, Panna has been targeted by poachers and only recently has the Indian government decided to make almost $180million available to fight this slaughter.

Visitors are more likely to see a leopard than a tiger, but the park is so scenically spectacular it makes for a wonderful day’s safari. Cutting through the national park is the mighty River Ken, where thousands of crocodiles live unmolested. Nearby, there’s a great gorge with towering cliffs on which hundreds of vultures nest.

There’s plentiful wildlife, including large herds of chital (Indian spotted deer), sambur (a deer the size of an elk), nilgai (a large antelope depicted above) and chinkara (gazelle). You’ll also see massive wild boars, hyenas, jackals and maybe a wild cat that looks like a grey alley cat. There are also more than 250 species of birds, some incredibly colourful, such as the peacock, golden pheasant and numerous parrots, and several species of hornbill, including the Malabar hornbill (above).

If you want a guaranteed sighting of a tiger, Panna is not the park to choose. Visit Bandhavgarh, four hours drive south and stay at Mahua Kothi (www.tajsafaris.com). You’ll see plenty of tigers, but you’ll also be rubbing shoulders with hundreds of other tourists.

Stay

Minutes away from the entrance of the Panna National Park is a new safari lodge called Pashan Garh (right) (www.tajsafaris.com). Built with local stone and plate glass, the lodge is an exquisite piece of design and comprises a cluster of stone cottages huddled atop a small hill, with magnificent views over the forest and a large nearby waterhole, where antelope come to quench their thirst.

This five-star lodge draws inspiration from the dry-packed stone houses of the Panna region. The cottages reflect Haveli tradition and have spacious central courtyards. The interiors are a contemporary mix of chocolate linen, block-printed black silk, celadon cotton and cotton lace chandeliers.

The lodge features 12 stone cottages, with a central guest area showcasing leather furniture made in Delhi, with massive black and white photo canvasses of the dramatic Panna landscapes. There are subtle references to the erotic stonework at the nearby temples of Khajuraho.

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Parenting tips: It’s hard to be good

Naughty children and stressed mum

It’s far easier to be a rubbish parent than a good one, the struggle to parent effectively without falling out with your kids can sometimes just feel too hard.

The older they get the more you have to worry about and it sometimes seems much easier just to let them run riot, horrible though the consequences might be. Being constantly on their backs can be exhausting so giving up on discipline for the sake of peace seems very attractive.

But alas we all know this route will inevitably end in some sort of disaster so here’s some tips for managing those tricky parenting problem areas.

With toddler tantrums, go down to the child’s level and speak calmly and clearly, keeping instructions short and simple. Stay consistent, don’t give in to screaming, and be prepared to be friends once it’s over.

Children learn that actions have consequences from around three years of age. Hitting or biting should be dealt with by a time-out, where a child is put to sit by themselves for a minute for every year of their lives, or by withdrawing privileges.

Nurture confidence from an early age by letting them take the lead in shops, learning how to speak politely and clearly and try and eat out sometimes so they know how to talk to people and also realise what’s acceptable in public.

Encourage them to get involved in activities which involve public speaking which mean they have to organise something and make themselves heard, such as taking drinks orders at family gatherings.

Keep communicating, listen to what they’re saying and expect them to do the same to you. Try to be reasonable, compromising on the small things can make it easier to get the more important things done.

So the teenager who resents being picked up by her parents can agree to them waiting around the corner, thus saving face in front of her friends but still being safe.

The issues where compromise won’t work are the hardest, such as not letting young people be exposed to R18+ rated films so you have to explain that some rules are there to keep people safe but be willing to discuss different approaches as they get older. Maybe you won’t have TVs or computers in bedrooms but if a teenager comes up with good exam results that can be discussed again or if younger children can go out to play and be home at the right time, further freedom can be granted.

If the worst happens do it all calmly and without fighting or covering old ground. You’re not meant to be your child’s best friend and rules and limitations are a big part of loving them.

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The best moisturisers for your age

The best moisturisers for your age

Are you unsure of what moisturiser to use for your age? Woman’s Day beauty editor Mary Zavaglia has the answer!

In the video above, Mary explains the ageing process of the skin and the best moisturising options for each age group.

From simple tinted moisturisers in your 20s through to vitamin C brightening moisturiser for your mid-40s, Mary has your skin covered.

Watch the video of Mary above where she shares her tips and tricks for how to maintain glowing healthy skin through the ages.

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Tom Cruise’s most embarrassing moments

Tom Cruise stunned onlookers last weekend when he took part in an impromptu dance-off at his friend’s wedding – but it’s not the first time he’s embarrassed himself in public.

The 49-year-old actor is famous for his questionable public behavior and never seems embarrassed by the mortifying things he does.

From the infamous “couch jumping” incident on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 2005, to accidentally farting on live TV in 2008, Tom can’t seem to stop humiliating himself.

Here are some of his most outrageous incidents.

Tom Cruise

Tom professes his love for Katie Holmes to Oprah in 2005.

A pirated video of Tom rambling about his love of Scientology became a viral hit in 2008.

Tom dancing with Jennifer Lopez at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards.

Tom laughed so hard he farted on *Late Night with David Letterman* in 2008.

Tom laughed so hard he farted on Late Night with David Letterman in 2008.

Tom hams it up as rocker Stacee Jaxx in upcoming movie *Rock of Ages*.

Tom hams it up as rocker Stacee Jaxx in upcoming movie Rock of Ages.

Tom during his dance-off at producer David Ellison’s wedding.

Tom kept speaking through two attempts to get him offstage at the 2007 Bambi awards.

Tom lost his temper during a *60 Minutes* interview with Peter Overton in 2005.

Tom lost his temper during a 60 Minutes interview with Peter Overton in 2005.

Tom criticised Brooke Shields’ use of anti-depressants in 2005, saying mental illness was a myth.

Tom later exploded when US *Today* show host Matt Lauer brought up Shields in an interview.

Tom later exploded when US Today show host Matt Lauer brought up Shields in an interview.

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Kids do the cutest things!

Kids do the cutest things!

As most parents know, kids can sometimes do the cutest things!

Take this little girl, who took it upon herself to clean up after her fellow flower girl who is dropping flower petals down the aisle.

To the enjoyment of guests and the wedding party, the adorable little girl makes sure she picks up every rose petal before she gets to the end of the aisle.

Has your child done something cute lately? Share it in the comments box below.

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Two wives, two murders, one killer

Two wives, two murders, one killer

He said the mysterious death of his two wives was just bad luck, but “evil husband” Tom Keir was finally brought to justice after 15 years, thanks to a tireless police officer and devoted mum. Here, they tell their story to Jordan Baker.

She was marrying the man she loved, the man who had been devoted to her since they met, four years earlier, the father of her unborn baby. Yet Jean Strachan was strangely jittery on her wedding day, remembers her mother, Christine.

Jean sobbed as she showered, shaking so badly that her freshly shaved legs were covered in cuts. “It was like, deep inside, she was scared,” her mum says.

True crime: I’m haunted by my daughter’s murder

Christine will never know whether these were the normal nerves of a bride-to-be, or whether instinct was telling her daughter to run far, far away from her husband-to-be, Thomas Andrew Keir.

Jean went ahead with the wedding and had a son, but three years later, she disappeared. Tom said his wife had run off with another man and her mother wanted to believe him.

Christine introduced her grieving son-in-law to her cousin’s daughter, Rosalie, hoping that if Tom moved on with someone else, Jean would return.

Tom and Rosalie married, but there was still no sign of Jean. Eighteen months later, Rosalie was found dead in a house fire with a cord around her neck.

As Detective Peter Seymour arrived at the charred house that would haunt him for decades, the significance of the situation dawned on him.

“We have a dead second wife and a missing first wife — we’ve got a huge problem here,” he said.

Tom Keir lived down the road from Clifford and Christine Strachan in Sydney’s western suburbs and employed Christine at the furniture factory he managed.

One morning, he popped into their house with some cushions for repair and was greeted at the door by the Strachans’ 15-year-old daughter Jean, who went to find her mother.

“Mum, there’s a man at the door and he’s the ugliest man I’ve ever seen,” she said. “He looks like Frankenstein. He has one big long eyebrow.”

For Tom, however, it was love — or at least obsession — at first sight. His attentions were subtle at first; he would chat to Jean when she waited for her mother at the factory, give her chocolates and pay her generously to make buttons after school.

He could be charming and, slowly, his charm worked on Jean. He was eight years her senior, but at first, her mother didn’t worry about their friendship; the Strachans were simple, trusting folk.

“He seemed a good fellow,” Christine remembers. “Girls didn’t like him. I felt sorry for him. Even at work, they would laugh at him.”

When Tom asked Jean to the movies, her father insisted he also take her two sisters, brother and mother, which he did happily for years. “As long as he had Jeannie with him, that’s all that mattered,” says Christine.

On Jean’s 16th birthday, Tom arrived on the Strachans’ doorstep with 16 red roses, a bottle of champagne for Christine and a case of beer for Cliff.

Related: A simple guide to keeping safe

Weakened by Tom’s persistence, Cliff told him that if he was to court Jean, he expected a case of long necks each week. For the next three years, a case arrived every Saturday.

On Jean’s 17th birthday, Tom delivered 17 red roses and on her 18th, he gave her an engagement ring. Her parents did not object to the marriage — by then, Jean was pregnant.

Seven Bones, by Peter Seymour and Jason K. Foster, is published by Big Sky Publishing on October 1, $24.99.

Read more of this story in the October issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly for just $69.95 and receive a FREE The Christmas Collection Cookbook, valued at $49.95. That’s a 15% saving on the retail price.

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Adoption red tape nearly ruined our family

Adoption red tape nearly ruined our family

Darren and Jacqui Bate with their adopted daughter Irani.

Abandoned as a toddler on the streets of Calcutta, Irani’s future was bleak until an Australian couple decided to adopt her. Jordan Baker charts the bureaucratic nightmare that almost destroyed a little girl’s chance of a new life.

Irani Bate’s first years on earth will forever remain a mystery. No one knows anything of her parents, her siblings, or even the year of her birth.

The time Irani officially appeared was when the little girl, then aged around three, arrived at a halfway house in Calcutta on February 7, 2008, caked with dirt, wheezing from bronchitis and riddled with scabies.

“Her past could have been anything,” says Jacqui Bate, the woman who would later volunteer to be Irani’s mother. “Her parents could have died. All we know is that no one ever claimed her.”

Related: An international adoption success story

When Darren and Jacqui Bate, a childless couple from the Brisbane Valley, heard the story of the little orphan with the “sad, sad eyes”, they knew she was the child they wanted to adopt.

They felt they could give her the love and security she had never known, and had the support of family, friends and adoption agencies in Queensland and India.

The only hurdle was the Australian government’s inexplicable refusal to allow Irani into the country.

The Bates knew the process of adopting a child from overseas would be slow and frustrating, as it has been for so many Australian couples.

Yet they lived a new kind of nightmare — one caused by bureaucratic insistence that even though Australia accepts the poor, the sick and the elderly, it did not want this little girl.

At the best of times, overseas adoption is daunting. Welcoming a child from another country and culture, especially an older one, means taking on challenges and responsibilities beyond those of other parents.

Then there is the gruelling application process itself; after the introductory seminar, the couple must compile a dossier that describes their whole lives, detailing their most intimate thoughts and feelings — their religious beliefs, how they met, their employment histories and family relationships.

They are assessed in a series of interviews. Then the case worker’s report, coupled with bank statements, police checks and marriage certificates, plus signed statements from appointed guardians in the event of their death, are sent to one of eight approved agencies in India.

The Bates did all this and then they waited. And waited. And waited.

When they did not hear back, the case worker suggested they consider a “special needs” child, a category covering everyone from children with HIV to sibling groups.

Related: Unravelling the mystery of our daughter’s life

Given Darren’s experience as a teacher’s aide at a school for troubled children and his many colleagues willing to support them, the Bates felt best able to handle a child with emotional or behavioural needs.

Less than a month later, they were invited to read a file on a little girl. She was a pretty thing, with big, beguiling eyes, but her details were confusing.

There was nothing known of her life before she arrived at the orphanage three years ago. Orphanage workers didn’t even know how old she was and guessed between three and six.

The main concern for the Bates was an IQ test that put Irani’s score at a low 53. Yet when Darren consulted the child psychiatrists he worked with, they said the test was obsolete; it was designed for older people and was incapable of assessing a child like Irani. Moreover, traumatised children are often wrongly diagnosed as having lower intelligence.

Darren and Jacqui decided to proceed. With the support of Queensland and Indian authorities, they sent off their final application. The adoption was approved.

The Bates booked their flights to Calcutta for May 15 last year. At the end of April, the phone rang. While the adoption was approved, the Immigration Department had refused Irani an entry visa.

Related: What’s wrong with adoption in Australia?

Using the assessments of Irani when she had first arrived at the orphanage, the Medical Officer of the Commonwealth deemed she might one day struggle to hold a job, rely too heavily on community services, or perhaps need 24-hour care. She had the potential to cost taxpayers $1.2 million, he ruled.

The Bates were left in the painful situation of having the adoption legally recognised by India, but being unable to bring their daughter into the country.

Yet adoption workers quietly alerted the Bates to another option, a loophole just opened by the Indian High Court. India can now issue a so-called certificate certifying that the adoption is fully recognised under the Hague Convention, which confers on a child the same rights as a biological child, including citizenship of the parents’ country of birth.

The Bates applied for and received the certificate, the first non-Hindu Australian couple to do so. Australia is a Hague Convention signatory and therefore could not quibble. The Bates were able to apply for a visa without having to get clearance from the Commonwealth Medical Officer.

The Bates flew to India just before Christmas. Irani bonded with them almost immediately and photographs from their meeting show joy on all their faces. In January, they brought Irani home.

While they were away, the Migration Review Tribunal handed down its decision. It had found in favour of the Bates, saying specialists had found Irani to be intelligent, attentive and co-operative, and that there was “compelling evidence” that the little girl would not be a burden on Australian taxpayers.

Related: International adoption in Australia

This story has had a happy ending. Safe in the knowledge she is now welcome in Australia, Darren and Jacqui are embracing parenthood and Irani is settling into her new home.

“She’s definitely a bright girl,” says Darren. “She takes on new environments and challenges easily. She’s running through the paddocks with her gumboots and little denim shorts on. She’s a wonderful part of our life.”

For more information or to join the campaign to change adoption laws, visit National Adoption Awareness Week or email [[email protected]](/mailto:[email protected]).

Read more of this story in the October issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Do you think the government should make it easier for Australians to adopt children from overseas?

Subscribe to 12 issues of The Australian Women’s Weekly for just $69.95 and receive a FREE The Christmas Collection Cookbook, valued at $49.95. That’s a 15% saving on the retail price.

Video: Deborra-Lee Furness’ adoption battle

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