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Do you have a gambling problem?

Gambling winners and losers

Around 70 per cent of Australians will gamble at some point this year. In 2009 we spent $12 billion on the pokies alone. For most it’s the odd flutter for fun, but for problem gamblers it can mean the end of their career, family and even life.

So how can you detect problem gambling?

They could include:

  • Feeling concerned about your gambling

  • Spending increasing amounts of time/money gambling

  • Being mentally preoccupied with gambling

  • Making repeated attempts to cut down

  • Trying to win back money lost

  • Being criticised for time/money spent on gambling

  • Lying about it

  • Borrowing

  • Secretive behavior

  • Gambling a large portion of your income

  • Feeling depressed after playing

  • Using gambling to cope with negative emotions.

“And suicidal feelings can occur when someone feels as if they have lost control of their gambling and can see no way out of the situation,” says Kylie.

“It’s important to recognise what need gambling is meeting for you and find another way to meet it,” says Kylie.

Are you lonely? Depressed? Having relationship problems? Bored? Try to get to the root of why you gamble. Then you can go about fixing it.

“We all know when something is not having a positive effect on us, but because it is meeting some need we are ambivalent about making changes,” says Kylie.

“Many people will make changes on their own once the negatives begin to outweigh the positives,” says Kylie. “Some people successfully learn to do ‘controlled’ gambling. But remember gambling is not a way to make money – unless you own the gaming venue.”

You might control some forms of gambling better than others. “Perhaps the pokies meet your need for excitement, but Keno doesn’t,” says Kylie. So you’ll easily limit your Keno spend, but not the pokies.

“Again, this will differ for individuals,” says Kylie. “Some will be successful, others will try to cut down, realise they are unable to stop at a safe level and eventually choose not to gamble anymore.”

Planning ahead can help. “Schedule in alternative activities with other people,” says Kylie. “And talk to a trusted person. You could also ban yourself from a venue, limit your access to money – give a friend your cards, or get a low limit put on bank withdrawals. And get informed about your preferred type of gambling – find out the odds, understand the myths.”

If you need immediate help, call 1800 858 858. And remember – the odds of winning a pokie jackpot are one in 10 million…

Your say: Have you experienced a gambling problem either personally or through someone you know? Share your story below.

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Deborah Hutton on the nude cover scandal

Deborah Hutton on the nude cover scandal

This photo must not be reproduced without permission © David Gubert/The Australian Women's Weekly.

My decision to appear naked on the cover of The Australian Women’s Weekly was not one I took lightly.

The proposal was put to me 12 months ago, to highlight that women should be proud of their bodies, regardless of their age.

That is certainly something I agree with. But having your naked body on the front of a magazine read by more than two million people a month was a daunting prospect. Needless to say, I gave it some serious thought.

In pictures: The best naked magazine covers

I went ahead with the shoot for a few reasons. One is that I admire The Weekly for engaging 40-plus women on issues that are important and relevant to them.

The other was that I was turning 50 and, given that a lack of body confidence is such a big issue for so many women, I wanted to share my body journey with The Weekly’s readers, a journey that started with crippling insecurity in my 20s to appreciation at 50 (it only took 30 years!).

I work hard at looking the way I do, and, as Susie O’Brien rightly said in her column yesterday, I don’t sit on a couch eating burgers all day, and make a big effort to keep my body fit and healthy.

Still, I am far from perfect. There are parts of my body I don’t like. There are bulges, and cellulite (thankfully I was sitting on that) but I didn’t want retouching to minimise any wrinkles, or lumps, or make my shape any different. I just felt that some of the sunspots, from years of sun damage, were unsightly.

Susie argues we shouldn’t have removed a few sun blemishes after the photograph was taken. So, for the record, let me also tell you that I wore make-up, got a heavy spray tan the day before the shoot and had my hair professionally styled, as many women do for special occasions (and a naked photograph to be seen by millions of Australians certainly counts as one of those!).

There was great lighting from photographer David Gubert, which forgave me many sins. Does anyone begrudge me that? Would it be acceptable if the blemishes had been covered with concealer before the shoot, rather than airbrushed afterwards? This is a cover for a great magazine, not a happy snap.

One of the things lost in the photoshopping debate over this cover is that The Weekly is the only magazine gutsy enough to really tackle the retouching issue.

Many magazines would not have been brave enough to let me disclose the amount of retouching. The Weekly is one of the only magazines in Australia with a policy of declaring when a photo has been digitally altered.

I challenge anyone to show me a women’s magazine cover, that is un-retouched and that is anywhere in the world! Have a look at some other magazines next time you are in a newsagent, and compare the level of re-touching …you’ll be surprised.

More particularly, have a look at the advertisements. This is where retouching is extreme to the point where it is ridiculous, where cosmetics companies are offering a result that only an airbrush could deliver.

A few years ago, I shot a commercial for Olay Regenerist and was appalled by the retouching they did to my face, especially around the eyes, and refused to sign off on it until it looked like I did in reality. We were selling an anti-ageing cream, not a miracle worker.

In her column, Susie says the photograph doesn’t reflect what I look like. Well, she has never met me, so she doesn’t really know.

Related: Deborah Hutton answers her critics

I find it sad that Australian women are so critical of others — perhaps because of the insecurities I mentioned before. The cover was never intended to make other people feel bad.

The story is my story, a personal account of my relationship with my weight and my body, which I have chosen to share.

Your say: What do you think about Deborah’s nude shoot?

Video: Deborah Hutton defends the retouching of her nude shoot

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Then Came You by Jennifer Weiner

Then Came You by Jennifer Weiner

Win a $1000 Westfield gift voucher!

True friends shop ’til they drop. For your chance to win a Westfield shopping spree click here and tell us which character in Then Came You is your favourite and why.

With her trademark humour and tender insight Jennifer Weiner, author of the bestselling Fly Away Home and In Her Shoes, which was made into a film starring Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette, returns with the heartfelt story of four women from very different walks of life.

Drawn together — in some cases reluctantly — by one woman’s quest to become a mother, they build a bond that will last forever, and show that motherhood comes in a variety of styles.

Jules is a Princeton senior with a full scholarship, acquaintances instead of friends and a family she’s ashamed to invite to parents’ weekend. With the income she’ll receive from donating her eggs she can save her father from addiction.

Annie married her high school sweetheart and became the mother of two boys. After years of surviving on one income, she thinks she’s found a way to recover a sense of purpose and bring in some extra cash.

India has changed everything about herself – her name, her face, her past. Married to Marcus, a wealthy older man, she decides a baby will ensure a happy ending. When nature fails India turns to Jules and Annie.

But each of their plans is thrown into disarray when Marcus’ daughter Bettina, intent on protecting her father, becomes convinced that his new wife is not what she seems…

This timely tale interweaves themes of class and entitlement, surrogacy and donorship, the rights of a parent and the measure of motherhood.

Through her unforgettable, true-to-life characters, Weiner deftly reflects how the family we build around us – from strangers we meet along life’s path – is often the family we are closest to.

To read a chapter from Then Came You click here.

For the Reading Group Guide for Then Came You click here.

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Get Bikini body ready with Michelle Bridges

Get Bikini body ready with Michelle Bridges

The Biggest Loser trainer tells Woman’s Day how to lose the festive flab – and offers 50 lucky readers the chance to join her unique 12 Week Body Transformation program.

When The Biggest Loser fitness trainer Michelle Bridges slips into a bikini for our exclusive poolside cover pics, there’s no need to employ an airbrush to fix any imperfections – her body looks smoking hot from every angle.

However, even 41-year-old Michelle, a health and fitness advocate all her life, knows how easy it is to put on a few kilos over the silly season. “You have a few more social occasions, a champagne thrust into your hand, and before you know it, the weight creeps on,” she says. But that was then… Now we’ve all raised a glass or two to 2012, and it’s resolution time again, Michelle is planning to lose the “two or three kilos” she gained by joining her online fitness recruits for the latest round of her hugely successful 12 Week Body Transformation.

An online nutrition, exercise and mindset system, the 12WBT has already helped “tens of thousands” of Australians to unleash their inner hottie. And word has spread far and wide, with teams in the UK, USA, Canada, Singapore, Malaysia, Brunei and Norway. “I even had one brave member who lived on a research facility in the Antarctic!” Michelle says. “She built her gym in a frozen shed and was on the forums telling everyone to harden up when they complained about the weather.”

Michelle created the system with her business partners, including husband Bill Moore, after being inundated with personal training requests following her success on Loser. She uses online coaching and videos to educate and motivate a nation into shedding its obesity problem, once and for all. And it’s working. In the past two years, the system has helped strip a whopping 100,000kg from Australia’s collective waistline! Now in its seventh round, Michelle is delighted to welcome new members to her 12WBT program, which kicks off again on January 16 – and she’s offering 50 lucky Woman’s Day readers the chance to join for FREE!

Read more about how you can be one of the 50 lucky readers to join Michelle’s program for free, plus get her top three weight loss tips in this week’s Woman’s Day on sale January 2, 2012.

To enter the competition to join Michelle’s program for free, head to www.12wbt.com/womansday and follow the prompts. You will need to tell us, in 25 words or less, “Why I need to do the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation.”

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Elle Macpherson’s amazing body at 47

Elle Macpherson's amazing body at 47

The Aussie supermodel shows she’s still got it on a summer break in Byron Bay… and her trainer reveals how Elle keeps in shape.

It’s hard to believe Elle Macpherson is approaching her half-century, particularly after the admiring looks she drew on the beach at Byron Bay over the holiday break. “I think she was trying to be low-key, but when you see that body in a bikini, it quite simply stops traffic,” says one local surfer, with a laugh. “When she walked down the beach, every bloke there went, ‘Wow! Look at Elle!’”

The model arrived with her boys, Flynn, 13, and Cy, 8, to spend a sun-kissed Christmas with her sister Mimi and father Peter Gow on the NSW north coast. “It was very low-key but it was lovely to spend time with Elle and the boys,” Mimi, 40, says. “And yes, she really does look fantastic!” Elle, 47, credits her incredible body to a healthy diet and regular exercise, squeezed between running her own business empire and raising her two active boys.

“I try to put aside an hour a day, five days a week, to do some sort of exercise, whether it’s Pilates or running in the park,” says Elle. “But with two boys, I don’t always get that time. I surf and ski, and sport is a big part of my life.” She also does yoga, cycles and keeps in shape with squats and lunges. Her “holiday” exercise regime included jogging on the beach with her dad, who was diagnosed with prostate cancer 14 months ago, and taking to a surfboard to ride Byron’s famous waves.

Her personal trainer, James Duigan, says that while Elle’s body may seem unachievable to many, the diet and exercise regime she follows to maintain her genetically blessed body could easily be adapted to suit everyone. “It’s about balance, it’s about staying consistent,” James says. “She doesn’t do anything savage or weird or crazy. There is no set routine and her workout varies greatly.”

Read more about Elle’s amazing body in this week’s Woman’s Day on sale January 2, 2012. PLUS find out how to get Elle’s body, in the Woman’s Day diet book, free with next week’s issue!

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Crime special: Evil, wicked women

Crime special: Evil, wicked women

From murderous grannies to homicidal housewives, Australia has its share of ladies who kill.

When Helen Ryan was told her husband Jeffrey had been found shot dead at their bush property, she was inconsolable. She sobbed and screamed hysterically as the neighbour who’d discovered the body tried to comfort her. Helen begged her neighbour not to let ambulance officers take her husband away until she said goodbye. “It wasn’t meant to be this way,” she wept. Ten days later, at the funeral, the hearts of family and friends went out to the pale widow in black.

When she later tearfully faced TV cameras for the police, side-by-side with her husband’s mother, Marie, to appeal to the public for information about the devastating murder, the community commended her for her courage. Two years on, that 51-year-old grief-stricken widow is revealed to have been the killer herself, persuading her younger sister to help her recruit a hitman, and their elderly mother, Coralie Coulter, to put in thousands towards the $30,000 fee for the contract execution.

Ryan “deliberately and methodically plotted to have her husband killed,” said NSW Supreme Court Justice Megan Latham in October last year as she sentenced her to 36 years’ jail. Jeffrey, it turned out, had ended their 15-year relationship and cut her stake in his will, which included a million-dollar farm at Duri, near Tamworth, NSW, so she’d “embarked on a cold-blooded plan to get rid of her husband” rather than lose a share of his money. Nerida Campbell, curator at Sydney’s Justice & Police Museum, who put together the recent Femme Fatale exhibition, says fiendish females can sicken us more than their male counterparts.

“Society doesn’t perceive women as being violent or criminal so when they are, it’s very shocking for us,” she says. “We think of women as mothers and carers and nurturers and supporters, not as people who hurt. That’s where the shock value lies even more.” Yet we have always had a fascination with flawed females – from Eve who brought about man’s downfall, and the witches of Sleeping Beauty and Hansel And Gretel, to those in modern fables, such as Sharon Stone’s Basic Instinct character stabbing men to death with an ice pick, and Glenn Close’s bunny-boiler in Fatal Attraction.

Read more crime stories in this week’s Woman’s Day, on sale January 2, 2012.

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Copy Kate: Kate Middleton is cloning Angelina Jolie

Copy Kate: Kate Middleton is cloning Angelina Jolie

Sexy, stylish, successful… it’s no wonder Angelina Jolie is the duchess’s role model.

One is Hollywood royalty. The other is a real-life member of the royal family. They’re among the most famous women in the world, and with their lush brunette locks, super-skinny figures and elegant poise, the similarities between Angelina Jolie and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, have long been striking. Now Woman’s Day can reveal the resemblance is no coincidence, with one of Kate’s close friends claiming Prince William’s wife idolises the actress, and even models her look on the Salt star.

“Kate makes no secret of how much she admires Angelina,” the mate tells us. “She thinks she’s stunningly beautiful and says she’d do anything to have Ange’s lips, cheeks and eyes. “Kate moans that no matter how hard she tries, she still ends up looking like a schoolgirl. She wishes she could be as sultry and sophisticated as Angelina. Kate simply adores her graceful, elegant style, and how she manages to make everything look so effortless.”

The royal newcomer, who turns 30 on January 9, first revealed she was a fan during planning for her and William’s visit to Hollywood last July. Asked which celebrity she most wanted to meet, Kate reportedly squealed, “Angelina Jolie!” Although Ange’s hectic schedule couldn’t accommodate the encounter, leaving Kate to “make do” with celebrities such as our own Oscar-winning Nicole Kidman and US stars Jennifer Lopez and Reese Witherspoon, the Changeling actress reportedly rang personally to apologise. Kate was said to be ecstatic when Ange promised they would meet one day.

In the meantime, the duchess paid tribute to her hero by arriving at a London charity event last November wearing a silk, one-shouldered Jenny Packham gown that, except for the colour, was identical to one worn by Ange at the Hollywood premiere of partner Brad Pitt’s film Tree Of Life. “She also had the same tumbling hairstyle,” notes Kate’s friend. “Angelina is Kate’s style icon and role model and, like any young woman, Kate is inspired by what she sees celebrities wearing on the red carpet.”

Read more about Kate Middleton’s admiration for Angelina Jolie in this week’s Woman’s Day on sale January 2, 2012.

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True Confessions Agony Aunt: My husband and kids take me for granted

Unhappy housewife

Image: Getty, posed by model

I am a housewife with three kids and a husband. I love my husband and my kids, but they don’t appreciate me at all. I’m an unpaid servant who serves up meals, tidies the house and washes the clothes.

I don’t have a life of my own at all – I’m just a wife and mum. My husband and kids do all sorts of activities and they just let me drop them off and pick them up.

When I say anything about it they just think I’m moaning. How can I get them to take me seriously?

This is a very common situation if you’ve been at home when the kids are young. It is reasonable for you to want to feel appreciated for all you do and to have some enjoyment yourself. The best way is to sort it out calmly and firmly.

First, stop picking up after everyone. List the chores and share them out, show them how each task is done properly but don’t complete shoddy jobs or do them yourself because it’s too much bother to protest.

You need to set clear expectations and be firm with them. Privileges such as pocket money and fun activities can be withheld from the kids until their jobs have been successfully completed. This stance has the added benefit of helping to teaching them the value of hard work and money.

At the same time try to make it fun – Sunday morning could be cleaning time for the family for an hour, maybe even give it a competitive edge if that would help motivate them.

Don’t forget to praise jobs well done and then arrange a nice family activity for the afternoon – with the extra time you have saved with the family clean-up, you can relax and join in.

Arrange your own activities such as an exercise class or an evening with a friend and if your commitments clash with theirs, some negotiating needs to be done, possibly involving public transport.

The house might not be up to your usual standards for a few days, but you’re changing some long-term bad habits, so make it clear what your expectations are and give it time.

If that doesn’t sink-in see if you can organise a weekend away and maybe combine it with a course looking at getting back into work or furthering your skills – make it something you feel passionate about.

Don’t organise anything for them before you go – let them do shopping, cooking and sorting out clothes and equipment for their various activities. This way they will get a better understanding and hopefully appreciation of all you do for them.

When you come back don’t let anyone make you feel guilty and rather than get mad at the potential mess you will come home to, take the opportunity to point out the chore list and suggest they get on with it.

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Natalie Wood’s sister speaks out

Natalie Wood's sister speaks out

Natalie Wood

Lana Wood’s most memorable role might be the sexy Bond girl Plenty O’Toole from Diamonds Are Forever, but she’s aware the most significant part she’s played has been fighting for the truth about the tragic drowning of her sister, Natalie Wood.

“For the past 30 years, it’s eaten at my soul, not knowing what happened to someone you dearly love,” says Lana of the mysterious death of Natalie in 1981, after arguing with her husband Robert Wagner (known as R.J.).

“I was shaken to my very core. But as I’ve said, it’s far easier to believe the best and simplest explanation, to believe nobody close to Natalie would ever harm her. I want to believe the best, but inconsistencies keep hitting me in the face.”

Related: Natalie Wood drowning case reopened after 30 years

Now, with police reopening the case thanks to new information, Lana, 65, may finally get the closure she craves.

As she explains, she’s always had questions about the official explanation for her sister’s death — that the glamorous actress drowned accidentally after slipping while trying to retie the dinghy to prevent it banging against the side of their motor cruiser The Splendour.

Natalie was found dead wearing just a nightgown, down jacket and socks about a kilometre away from the motor cruiser. “She never would have gone out late at night to tie the dingy,” says Lana.

Yet there has been another compelling factor for Lana. Ten years after Natalie’s death, The Splendour’s captain Dennis Davern started calling her, guilt-ridden he had not told police everything he knew.

“He was overwrought and said they [Natalie and R.J.] were having a horrible argument the whole weekend, and there was too much drinking going on. I don’t know what the fight was about, there were a lot of things coming into play, and a flirtation [rumoured between Natalie and Walken] may have broken the camel’s back.”

“Dennis heard and saw them on the back deck. He tried once to help, but R.J. told him to go away.”

She claims Dennis told her Robert knew Natalie was in the water and would not let him turn on the searchlight, saying “leave her there, teach her a lesson”.

“I don’t think this is anything R.J. planned,” Lana says, her voice rising. “As angry as I get, the fact is I have known Wagner since I was nine, he was my family. It’s difficult to point the finger.”

Thirty years on, Lana’s hurt hasn’t faded. If anything, understandably, it’s intensified. “My mum, as dear as she was, was rather flighty and involved with Natalie’s career, so Natalie was my sister, my mother and best friend,” she says of their bond.

“When I was born, Natalie [eight years older] was already a child star, so I never knew her as anything other than a well-loved actress. She was a kind, wonderful person. She loved being a mother and her relationship with R.J. was passionate. It was — I can’t live with or without you.”

Crime: The hunt for Malcolm Naden

Would Lana like to see someone charged if the captain’s story can be verified? “I don’t care whether anyone is punished,” she says. “I think living with [the knowledge of] something like this is punishment enough. I just want Natalie to have a voice.”

Read more of this story in the January issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Subscribe to 12 issues of AWW for one year for only $69.95 and receive a Natio Soft Focus Mineral Makeup Kit valued at $49.95.

Video: Natalie Wood’s most popular film performances

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The teen mums who are fighting for a better life

The teens mums who refuse to become another statistic

Teen mother Leesa Laporte and her daughter Salinah. Photographing by Alana Landsberry.

These teenage mums were once the girls that society shunned. Now, they are taking control of their lives and forging a new future, writes Michael Sheather.

Bethany Zasi was just 15 when she found out she was pregnant. She was just a day older when her boyfriend denied the child was his and said goodbye. She didn’t plan to be a mother so young. And she didn’t plan to lose touch with her future.

“Falling pregnant changed everything,” says Bethany, now 18 and mother to a beautiful 20-month-old toddler, Tiarna. “I was always the one my family thought would one day head off to university. But having a baby meant I couldn’t stay at school. It was just too hard.

Related: I had a baby at 50 – without IVF

“People would call out when I walked past, they whispered behind my back and sometimes they’d call me names, nasty names. They made me feel like such a disappointment. But the worst thing was that people thought it was okay to judge me.

“They didn’t know me or anything about me, but they were happy to judge me for the fact I was pregnant. But that’s okay. I’m going to prove them wrong. I still want to go to university and I’ll get there in the end.”

Bethany is one of a small band of 12 teenage mums from Melbourne’s south-eastern suburbs who are taking responsibility for their futures in Aim’n High, a groundbreaking program designed to bring teenage mums back to school, finish their education and avoid the crushing cycle of welfare dependency.

The program, developed by Mission Australia and run in conjunction with a local secondary college, is a unique combination of classroom and childcare, with the young mums splitting their time between a home room at Mission Australia’s early learning centre in Doveton and formal lessons at nearby Hallam Senior Secondary College.

While the mothers are in class or doing their homework, their children are cared for in the centre. “The program gives the girls time to focus and concentrate on their lessons while their children get quality childcare,” says Mission Australia’s Stuart McGougan, who began the project three years ago after hearing about a similar successful program at Plumpton High School in Sydney.

“We’re creating a place where the girls can do their work and not also have to deal with the stress of being a mother with a young child. They have the support of others who know what they are going through as well.”

The program was set up in response to the large numbers of teenage girls leaving school after becoming pregnant — last year, 107 teenage mums left school in this area of Melbourne and 12,000 teenage girls become mothers annually Australia-wide.

Related: My wife died three weeks after giving birth to our daughter

“The evidence is that a teenage mum who leaves school at 15 to have a baby is unlikely to finish her education because it’s simply too hard being a mum and a student at that age,” says Stuart.

“And without an education, it’s likely that those young mums will become welfare dependent. We believe that getting the girls back to school will give them a better life, both for themselves and their children.”

Read more of this story in the January issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Do you think more schools should start programs to help teen mothers continue their educations?

Subscribe to 12 issues of AWW for one year for only $69.95 and receive a Natio Soft Focus Mineral Makeup Kit valued at $49.95.

Video: Julia Gillard announces ‘tough love’ for teen mums

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