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Wife beater to keep bravery award

A Black Saturday fire-fighter who kicked his former partner in the head so hard it blinded her in the left eye will keep his Royal Humane Society Certificate of Merit, despite the trauma caused to his victim and the feelings of his fellow fire-fighters.

Paul Francis McCuskey, 41, of Reefton, in rural Victoria — who is currently serving a five year, six month prison sentence for a series of assaults on his former partner — was named as a recipient of the bravery award in a Royal Humane Society ceremony at Melbourne Town Hall on February 24 for his part in the rescue of a woman and her animals during the Black Saturday bushfires.

Related: Read the original story here.

A statement from the Royal Humane Society of Australasia, seen by The Weekly, said that the role of the society was to bestow bravery awards on those who risk their lives to save others, disregarding all past and future actions.

“In the case of Mr McCuskey during the ‘Black Saturday’ bushfires he most certainly did put his life at risk on that day to save the life of another person,” the statement read.

“It has never been the role of the Society to judge award nominees on their probity either prior to or after their act of bravery.

“The rescuer’s probity is not considered relevant to their actions of bravery unless the rescuer was involved in reckless behaviour initiating the cause of the incident/rescue.”

As a result, the society Court of Directors decided that Mr McCuskey’s reward would not be withdrawn.

CEO of the Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service Deb Bryant says this decision sends a conflicted message to the public about domestic violence.

“Violent men often present an acceptable and even admirable public image,” she says. That makes it extremely difficult for women to escape the violence for fear they won’t be believed.

“I think to give this man a bravery award, particularly because the violence was so vicious, is counter-productive and obscures the seriousness of his crimes.”

McCuskey’s fire-fighting colleagues agree. “I’m not going to stand up and fight for him,” says CFA captain Dan Bennett, McCuskey’s former commander.

“As far as we are concerned, he’s a scumbag and he’s where he deserves to be. What we’re disappointed in that it’s taken the shine off the award for the rest of the crew.”

Related: ‘The terror of my abusive marriage’

McCuskey pleaded guilty two years ago to a series of attacks on his former partner.

In one assault, he punched and kicked the pregnant woman in the stomach, only stopping after a friend intervened.

In another he dragged her from their bed and kicked her in the head, leaving her bleeding and in terrible pain. She lost the sight in one eye. Doctors said the woman suffered injuries similar to those usually seen only in high impact car accidents.

Your say: Do you think a man convicted of serious domestic violence should be given a bravery award?

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Video: Living with domestic violence

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Guy Sebastian welcomes a son

Guy Sebastian and his wife Jules have welcomed their first child – a baby boy named Hudson James Sebastian.

Born March 3, 2012 and weighing 2.8 kilos, Hudson made his twitter debut after Sebastian tweeted a series of images of him saying “I’m in love” and “He’s a little dude”.

The X Factor Judge, who has been with his high school sweetheart wife Jules for 17 years, has received messages of congratulations from fellow celebrities including Dannii Minogue and Beyoncé.

Clearly excited about his new arrival, Sebastian tweeted: “Thanks for all the kind words re Hudson, he’s not very good at tweeting yet but asked me to pass on this; “waaaahhh wahhhhhaaaahhwahhhh”.

Flick through the series of Twitter pictures Sebastian has posted here.

Guy with Hudson.

Hudson James Sebastian.

Proud dad Guy shows off his “little dude”

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Why girls are having sex at 12

Why girls are having sex at 12

Photo posed by models.

Teenage girls are under more pressure to have sex than ever before, so it’s time to stop judging and start helping them, writes Jordan Baker.

Few things are certain in adolescence, but there’s one thing upon which teenage girls agree: pubic hair is out.

“Everyone shaves. Everything,” says Sydney 16-year-old Anne*. “If you’ve left it, you are classified as disgusting. You’d be embarrassed for the rest of your life. Boys would pay you out, call you hairy. People start shaving in Year 7.”

Related: What all parents need to know about sexting

They know, or think they know, a few other things, too. That oral sex doesn’t count as sex. That sending nude pictures via text or Facebook is the new flirting. That boys their age watch porn regularly and demand from their girlfriends the sexual menu they see online — hairless, surgically enhanced bodies, “girl-on-girl action” and much, much more.

They are learning from the 21st century’s version of sex education class, the internet; a more enlightening and forthcoming source than nervous parents and teachers. Yet these lessons are a dangerous mix of misinformation and distorted images of sexuality, which is contributing to behaviour that can leave young women with deep psychological and physical scars.

Teenage girls are under more pressure to have sex than ever before. The good news is we can help them through it, although that requires a few lessons of our own.

It’s human nature to judge adolescents by our experience — it wasn’t like that in our day, we scold. Yet for once, we are right — it really wasn’t like that in our day.

For one thing, girls are becoming women earlier than they used to. In the past 20 years, the age of menarche (first period) has dropped from 13 years to 12 years and seven months, and as many as one in six eight-year-olds have periods.

Children with “precocious pubescence” can start menstruating at five or six. Reasons range from better nutrition and obesity to the breakdown of the family unit.

“When dads aren’t around, they’re more likely to move into puberty earlier,” says parenting expert Michael Grose. “If it starts earlier, I imagine this would mean they are beginning to be sexually active earlier.”

In the past 60 years, the age at which girls lose their virginity has dropped from 19 (when many women were married in the 1950s) to 16, but many start much earlier.

Dolly magazine’s 2011 Youth Monitor found 56 per cent of teens first had sex between 13 and 15 years old, a figure backed up by an Australian study that found the age of girls’ first sexual experience ranged from 11 to 17 years, with a median age of 14.

Most worryingly, there has also been a marked increase in unwanted sex, an experience that can have a long-term effect on how a woman feels about herself and her sexuality.

“The main reasons are being too drunk or high and pressure from a partner,” Dr Mitchell says. “Alcohol [consumption] has gone up over time, too, and it’s intimately connected to their sexual behaviour.”

Rates of sexually transmitted diseases are rising, especially among 15- to 19-year- olds; in 2008, slightly more than 25 per cent of all chlamydia infections were in the 15- to 19-year-old age group and girls were diagnosed at three times the rate of boys.

These are just the statistics; the anecdotal evidence is more frightening. Michael Grose says there is a casual attitude to oral sex. “I’ve heard stories from teachers of oral sex occurring at school,” he says.

“My generation went behind the shed and had a smoke. It’s been put to me that oral sex at school is like smoking. That’s extreme, but I think extremes explain the norm.”

This doesn’t sound unusual to 16-year-old Anne. “Oral sex happens a lot. It’s before losing your virginity,” she tells The Weekly. “I had a 16th birthday party and apparently two people were doing it on my front lawn.”

The situation is so dire that sex education expert Debbie Ollis last month called for all students to receive porn education at school.

Research shows most children have viewed explicit content online before their 11th birthday.

Related: How to keep your kids safe online

Therefore, Ollis argues it is vital for all children to take special lessons to enable them to understand and critique what they see on the internet.

“Somehow, we’ve got to prepare them to be able to deconstruct and understand what they’re seeing and to realise that most of those images aren’t the reality of life,” she told the Geelong Advertiser.

“The internet is being used as a sex education tool without the expertise of an educator or more appropriate content to teach kids about intimacy, about desire, about safety, all those sort of issues.”

  • names have been changed.

Read more of this story in the March issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Do you think 11-year-olds should be given porn education lessons?

Subscribe to 12 issues of Australian Women’s Weekly for only $69.95 (a 28% saving) and receive two free novels.

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I am Mary MacKillop’s miracle

I am Mary MacKillop's miracle

Kathleen Evans, the woman the Catholic Church believes Mary Mackillop cure of cancer.

It turned her into a saint, but the full story of Mary MacKillop’s most important miracle has never been told — until now. In this interview Kathleen Evans breaks her silence on her miraculous recovery from cancer, and what happened next.

Life as a walking miracle has its challenges. Those who meet Kathleen Evans often assume she too is a saint and stroke her like a sacred relic.

She has become a celebrity in the Catholic world, but the attention makes her uncomfortable.

“I don’t like strangers touching me or hugging me. That was something I had to get used to,” she says.

Related: A choir saved my life

Kathleen insists she is nothing special — just an ordinary woman who has been on an extraordinary journey.

Yes, she recovered from terminal lung cancer, but she is not alone; there have been other miraculous recoveries.

For Kathleen, the only thing different about her story is that it proved the influence of Mary MacKillop in heaven, thus elevating the Australian nun to the ranks of the saints.

Yet, after years of trying to insist she is nothing special, Kathleen has, in her humble way, come to understand that she is a little bit special.

For the Sisters of St Joseph, she marked the end of a decades-long campaign to convince the Vatican of their founder’s saintliness. And to Australia’s Catholics, she is confirmation of their faith.

This realisation has reconciled her to the role she has taken, somewhat hesitantly, as a living spokeswoman for Saint Mary of the Cross.

“I have had it explained in a couple of ways that have helped me,” Kathleen, now 68, tells The Weekly. “One time, I was with a group of women and they said, ‘Let me closer’. I said, ‘Please, I’m not the saint. I am not really a holy person. I am just the messenger.’

“One of them said to me, ‘God’s messengers are angels and you are an angel to us.’ It made me realise it was my problem. It is much easier now.”

Putting aside any debate over the existence of God or miracles, the plain fact is that, in 1993, Kathleen Evans was preparing to die.

She had been diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer after years of smoking and had decided not to seek treatment because she would be unlikely to survive any operation and her condition was too advanced for chemotherapy.

The only question was how long Kathleen had left. She was growing weaker by the day, but tried to make the most of the remaining time; she prayed, spent time with her five children and second husband Barry, and planned her funeral.

She let go of the resentments she held throughout her life. She was at peace and ready to die.

At a friend’s suggestion, she appealed to Mary MacKillop for the first time, asking the “blessed” but not yet sanctified Australian to put in a good word for her in heaven.

Not only did Kathleen keep living, but her condition began to improve. She didn’t expect to be alive for her daughter’s wedding, but not only was she alive, she was posing for photos.

Christmas rolled around, and Kathleen had her appetite back. Her GP began calling her “dead woman walking” and suggested she have more X-rays. The cancer might be lying dormant or moving, or, in the best case scenario, shrinking.

At first, Kathleen resisted. She was at peace with death and happy to let it come in its own time. After several months, she relented.

When the radiologist looked at her X-ray and said, “I can’t believe it”, Kathleen thought the tumour may have changed size. “I said, ‘Has it shrunk?’ He said, ‘No, it has gone’.”

“It was really marvellous,” Kathleen remembers. “I believed him, but I don’t think he believed himself. He sent me to have another X-ray.”

When he asked whether she had had any treatment, she told him she had relied upon only prayer and Panadeine Forte.

In pictures: Stars who have faith

Kathleen and Barry had no doubt they had Mary MacKillop to thank for their miracle. Kathleen had never prayed to saints, but while ill, a friend gave her a book on Mary with a tiny relic — a piece of cloth from the nun’s wimple.

When Kathleen prayed and others prayed on her behalf, they were not asking Mary to cure her (under Catholic teaching, saints don’t perform miracles).

They were asking Mary to intercede with God. “Miracles only happen via God, but I really think she put her two pence in, she was such a strong woman.”

Read more of this story in the March issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Your say: Do you believe in holy miracles?

Subscribe to 12 issues of Australian Women’s Weekly for only $69.95 (a 28% saving) and receive two free novels.

Video: Australia’s first saint

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Book Review: ‘The Bellwether Revivals’ by Benjamin Wood

Bright, bookish Oscar Lowe has escaped the urban estate and made a new life for himself in Cambridge as a care assistant, where he has forged a close friendship with Dr. Paulsen.
The Bellwether Revivals

The Bellwether Revivals by Benjamin Wood. Available now — $29.99. Published By Simon & Schuster Australia

Bright, bookish Oscar Lowe has escaped the urban estate where he was raised and made a new life for himself amid the colleges and spires of Cambridge. He has grown to love the quiet routine of his life as a care assistant at a local nursing home, where he has forged a close friendship with the home’s most ill-tempered resident, Dr. Paulsen.

But when he meets and falls in love with Iris Bellwether, a beautiful and enigmatic medical student at King’s College, Oscar is drawn into her world of scholarship and privilege, and soon becomes embroiled in the strange machinations of her brilliant but troubled brother, Eden, who believes he can adapt the theories of a forgotten Baroque composer to heal people with music. Eden’s self-belief knows no bounds, and as he draws his sister and closed circle of friends into a series of disturbing experiments to prove himself right, Oscar realises the extent of the danger facing them all…

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Bullies and their victims consider suicide at 11

Bullies and bullied more likely to consider suicide by age 11

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Childhood bullies don’t get a lot of sympathy but a new study has found they are just as likely to consider suicide as their victims.

Research from the University of Warwick found that children involved in bullying — either as bully or victim — are three times more likely to have suicidal thoughts by the time they turn 11 than other kids.

Related: A parent’s guide to bullying

Even more shockingly, a large percentage of these children had planned or engaged in self-harming behaviours before their 12th birthdays.

Researchers examined data from 6043 children aged four to 10. The children, their parents and teachers were quizzed on a range of topics, including the prevalence of bullying and suicidal thoughts.

The study found that children who were bullied were three times as likely to consider suicide than those who were never bullied. Those who were bullied over a long period of time were at even greater risk, being six times more likely to have suicidal thoughts.

Surprisingly, the study found that bullies were also at increased risk of suicide, being just as likely as their victims to consider suicide or self-harm.

“Our study findings suggest that suicide-related behaviour is a serious problem for pre-adolescent youth,” study leader Professor Dieter Wolke said.

“Nearly 5 percent of this community population reported suicidal thoughts and 4.6 percent reported suicidal or self-injurious behaviour.

“Health practitioners should be aware of the relationship between bullying and suicide, and should recognise the very real risks that may be evident earlier in development than commonly thought.

Related: The stars who beat bullying

“Targeting intervention schemes from primary school onward is paramount, and could help to prevent chronic exposure to bullying, which is especially harmful.”

The research was published in the latest issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

Your say: Were you bullied as a child?

Video: Cyber-bullying tips

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Inside Oprah Winfrey’s New York penthouse

Ever wondered how the other half live? Wonder no longer - talk show mogul Oprah Winfrey has put her $7.9 million New York penthouse up for sale, giving a fascinating glimpse into her lavish lifestyle.
Oprah Winfrey NYC penthouse

Ever wondered how the other half live? Wonder no longer – talk show mogul Oprah Winfrey has put her $7.9 million New York penthouse up for sale, giving a fascinating glimpse into her lavish lifestyle.

Oprah reportedly bought the three-bedroom apartment in Midtown Manhattan’s luxurious Place 57 tower in 2008 for $7.1 million.

The apartment was finished in 2006 and features wall-to-ceiling windows, extensive city views and a master suite with three walk-in wardrobes.

How long Oprah lived in the 36th floor property is a mystery, but it is now listed for sale again with an asking price of $7.9 million.

The unique triangle-shaped living room.

Floor-to-ceiling windows dominate the room.

The lavish kitchen features all the mod-cons.

The kitchen is billed as one of the major attractions of the apartment.

A massive bedroom in the penthouse.

Another large and lavish bedroom.

The apartment has hardwood floors throughout.

One of the 3.5 bathrooms.

The apartment’s extensive 36th floor terrace.

The view of Midtown Manhattan from the terrace.

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The age you can give up dieting forever

The age you can give up dieting forever

Women spend their whole lives trying to lose weight but once they turn 85, research suggests they’d be better off fat.

Obesity contributes to the deaths of millions of people every year, reducing a person’s lifespan by an average of six to seven years.

Related: A DIY guide to living longer

But a new study by Tel Aviv University found that the opposite is true after the age of 85, when excess fat starts to have a ‘protective’ effect.

Researchers say elderly people who were overweight had a lower risk of death than those who were underweight or had a normal body weight.

This is because heavier people have lower rates of osteoporosis — making them less likely to fall and injure themselves. Obesity also provides extra energy in times of trauma and stress, keeping older people alive for longer when they are unable to eat.

Researchers studied data on 1,349 people between the ages of 75 to 94. Twenty years after the information was collected, the participants were contacted again.

During the intervening 20 years, 95 percent of participants had died, leaving 59 still alive.

Of those still living, a large number were overweight or obese, suggesting that excess fat protected people once they turned 85, making them far less likely to die than their less-weighty counterparts.

Despite their findings, the study leaders warn that obesity is not something all seniors should strive for.

“Though obese people over the age of 85 may be less at risk of death, they may suffer more from obesity-related illnesses,” Professor Jiska Cohen-Mansfield said. “There are other factors to consider, such as pain, multiple ailments, and mobility.”

Related: What to eat to avoid cancer

This study was published in theJournal of Aging Research.

Video: The Australian obesity epidemic

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Why you should propose to your man tonight

Why you should propose to your man tonight

Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds in a scene from The Proposal.

Folklore dictates that on February 29 — the special ‘leap-day’ that comes but once every four years — the traditional rules of marriage proposals are thrown out the window and women can get down on one knee.

The role-reversing deal is believed to have been struck between St Patrick and St Bridget during the fifth century, to the great relief of shy men and opportunistic single ladies who would hold their breath as long as four years for a chance to take charge and seal the deal with their partner.

Though this may seem like an archaic and irrelevant tradition these days when men and women have grown more equal in their roles in relationships, according to Cosmo Bride editor Franki Hobson, women still aren’t lining up to get down on one knee.

“We don’t see weddings where the woman has proposed and if we did it would be a real talking point, generally it’s still the guy who proposed to the female,” she says.

Franki thinks today’s young women still prefer male-initiated proposals because they are one of the few remaining traditions associated with modern marriage.

“Generally for this generation, when a couple gets engaged they both know it’s going to happen and there’s very little spontaneity,” she says.

“It’s all very businesslike, discussing logistics and values before a bride and groom decide to move forward together, but they can redeem some of that tradition by him proposing and bringing back some old-world romance,” she says.

Australian etiquette queen and former Australian Women’s Weekly editor Ita Buttrose thinks it’s time women took a more active role in initiating proposals.

“I think love is love and it doesn’t really matter which one pops the question,” she says.

“Men are always shy about these things too, and women tend to be more hopeful, so why shouldn’t they propose?

“If a woman wants to propose to her partner she should do it today, and let this be the start of the new equality revolution!” Ita says.

And not only would a female proposal be a statement of equality, Ita says it would also be a great surprise to most men.

“The poor little possums are frightened of us already, if all of a sudden we just asked ‘Marry me, darling’ they wouldn’t know what to do!”

While she’s all for breaking tradition, Ita is a big believer in a romantic proposal.

“I think if you’re going to propose you want to make it special, positive and romantic,” she says. “I’m a fan of writing someone’s name in the sky, or at least taking them out for a nice dinner before popping the question.”

Also, ladies, it’s worth noting that in many European traditions any man who refuses a woman’s proposal on February 29 must compensate her with 12 pairs of gloves, a symbolic gift to cover the shame of a bare ring finger.

So if you are thinking of getting down on one knee tonight, take Ita’s advice, and know you’ve got nothing to lose.

Your say: Would you ever propose to your boyfriend? Tell us at [email protected]

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Rich people are more likely to be selfish, lie and cheat

Rich are people more likely to be selfish and to lie and cheat

Image: Thinkstock, posed by model

Most people like the idea of being rich but would they be willing to become greedy and unethical to make their millions?

When we were young, we were taught to always be honest and never cheat. The phrase “Cheats never prosper” was drummed into school children to deter them from the temptation to make their own rules in order to win or get ahead. But a study has shown that people who don’t heed this advice are indeed prospering, albeit at others’ expense.

The US study looked at the relationship between socio-economic class and social emotions and behaviours, and ran tests on people from different socio-economic classes to find out their attitudes towards unethical behaviour and immoral conduct.

Whilst the results revealed that unethical behaviour was most common amongst the wealthy and often motivated by positive attitudes to greed, the researchers behind the study stressed that it does not mean that everyone of high status behaves unethically, nor that everyone in lower society behaves ethically.

“We’re not saying that if you’re rich, you’re necessarily unethical, and that if you’re poor, you’re necessarily ethical — there are lots of instances of increased ethical conduct among upper-class individuals, such as the tremendous philanthropy of Warren Buffett or Bill Gates,” said researcher Paul Piff, a social psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley.

At this time of rising economic tension and increases in the gap between the super-rich and those on the poverty line, the study looked to reveal how class relates to ethical conduct and what could be done to change society for the better.

“As these issues come to the fore, our research — and that by others — helps shed light on the role of inequality in shaping patterns of ethical conduct and selfish behaviour, and points to certain ways in which these patterns might also be changed,” Piff said.

As part of the study, volunteers completed surveys about their attitudes towards unprincipled behaviours and greed and took part in seven tasks designed to reveal their own likelihood to behave unethically.

1. Two of the tests carried out were field studies on driving behaviour, where upper-class motorists were found to be four times more likely than the other drivers to cut off other vehicles at a busy intersection.

2. ….and three times more likely to cut off a pedestrian waiting to cross the road at a zebra crossing.

3. Another study found that upper-class participants presented with scenarios of unscrupulous behaviour were more likely than the individuals in the other socio-economic classes to report replicating this type of behaviour themselves.

4. In the fourth study, participants were assigned tasks in a laboratory where a jar of lollies was available for visiting children, and they were invited to help themselves.

Upper-class participants helped themselves to twice as many lollies as did those in other classes.

5. In the fifth study, the participants were each assigned the role of an employer negotiating a salary with a job candidate seeking long-term employment. They were told that the job would soon be made redundant, and that they were free to warn the candidate of this information.

Upper-class participants were more likely to deceive job candidates by withholding this information.

6. In the sixth study, participants played a computerized dice game, with each player getting five rolls of the dice and then reporting his or her scores, with a cash prize for the highest score. The game was rigged so that each player would receive no more than 12 points for the five rolls, but the players did not know this.

Upper-class participants were more likely to report higher scores than would be possible, indicating a higher rate of cheating.

7.The last study found attitudes about greed to be the most significant predictor of unethical behaviour. Participants were primed to think about the advantages of greed and then presented with bad behaviour-in-the-workplace scenarios, such as stealing cash, accepting bribes and overcharging customers.

It turned out that even those participants not in the upper-class were just as likely to report a willingness to engage in unethical behaviour as the upper-class cohort once they had been primed to see the benefits of greed, researchers said.

“The increased unethical tendencies of upper-class individuals are driven, in part, by their more favourable attitudes toward greed,” confirmed Piff.

Whether an increase in money corrupts an individual’s principles or if the acquisition of money is a result of being unethical in the first place, remains to be seen.

So, who still wants to be a millionaire?!

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