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I love my son’s cleft palate

I love my son's cleft palate

Cassi van den Dungen and her son Drake.

As a feisty 16-year-old, Cassi van den Dungen earned the runner-up title on Australia’s Next Top Model — and notoriety after turning down a New York modelling contract. Three years on, Cassi talks for the first time about the arrival of her son, Drake, and why his cleft palate doesn’t make him any less perfect.

Like most new mums, Cassi was both elated and exhausted when she held her newborn for the first time.

It had been a tough labour — more than 12 hours of nausea-inducing contractions — but as she studied her little miracle minutes after his birth last September, Bob Marley’s beautiful song Is This Love began softly playing in her head.

Related: Sarah Murdoch on whingeing models, family and turning 40

Tiny Drake had inherited Cassi’s crooked second toe, but otherwise looked just like his dad, with a head of bouffant black hair. “I was just amazed,” says Cassi, “at how perfect he was.”

There was no missing her little boy’s cleft lip and palate — Cassi had been expecting it since her 19-week ultrasound — but at that moment it didn’t matter. It never has.

“I love his cleft,” Cassi says. “To me it just makes him that little bit different. He’s had that little bit to go through and his smile is bigger because of it.”

It has been a turbulent three years for Cassi since she entered Australia’s Next Top Model as a naive but headstrong teen and emerged as the reality show’s controversial runner-up.

She took a media drubbing for her smoking, swearing and angry outbursts on set, but the claws really came out when the 16-year-old turned down modelling contracts in Sydney and New York to stay in Melbourne with her much older boyfriend, bricklayer Brad Saul.

For 19-year-old Cassi and her 28-year-old now fiancé, Brad, their son’s arrival has brought hospital visits up to three times a week and the prospect of multiple surgeries in the years to come.

Feeding Drake has been a struggle because the top of his mouth opens directly into his nasal cavity, making it difficult for him to suck.

The plate he has worn since he was three weeks old has helped, but he needs to be watched around the clock to make sure he doesn’t pull it out and gag on it.

Drake’s left ear is also deformed and he has hearing loss in both ears. Yet, despite it all, he sleeps well and rarely cries without a reason. “Me and Brad were shocked at how well he’s coped with everything,” says Cassi.

Brad has given up bricklaying to help care for Drake, but the family is now living on welfare payments in a rented house on Melbourne’s western outskirts.

Drake’s special needs make babysitting tricky, so the couple haven’t had any child-free time together since his birth.

Still, with her ready laugh, Cassi doesn’t seem fazed. As she nuzzles Drake’s head and Brad tenderly strokes him off to sleep, it’s obvious the couple are smitten with the baby boy they affectionately call “Magooba”.

“You see the laughs come from him and it’s like nothing compares,” says Brad.

When Drake was born, she made a conscious decision to keep him out of the spotlight. On her Facebook page, she mentions Drake constantly, but has only posted one photograph — with a pacifier covering his cleft.

Cassi has decided to speak to The Weekly now to raise awareness about cleft lip and palate, a condition she had never heard of before Drake’s diagnosis. (She neither sought nor received payment for this article).

Related: Belly beautiful – The art of pregnancy

Many a couple, she says, have terminated their pregnancy after discovering their unborn child has a cleft.

“There’s nothing wrong with him — he’s not disabled or anything — and people abort these children,” she says. “That’s heartbreaking to me. How could you abort such a cute little boy?”

“I wouldn’t change Drake for the world,” she says. “I wouldn’t even take away his cleft because it’s made him that little bit more of who he is. He is just so beautiful.”

For parents whose child has a cleft, contact the Cleft Palate and Lip Society for information and support.

Read more of this story in the April issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Subscribe to 12 issues of AWW for only $64.95 (save 22%) for your chance to win a trip of a lifetime for two to Tahiti & Los Angeles, valued at $26,000.

Video: How to give your baby the best start in life

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George Clooney and Stacy Keibler on the rocks

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler on the rocks

The hunky actor and his pro-wrestler girlfriend, Stacy Keibler, are on rocky ground. Form an orderly queue, ladies!

It’s the news that will bring hope to every single woman who’s looking for love: George Clooney and his latest squeeze, 32-year-old ex-pro wrestler Stacy Keibler, are on the verge of splitting up. And, according to sources close to the couple, the relationship will be over within weeks. “George and Stacy are barely speaking at the moment,” a friend of Stacy tells US magazine Globe.

“She knew dating such a huge star would never be easy, but lately things have come to a head, and she’s feeling like nothing more than a decoration for his sleeve.” Tensions date back to the Academy Awards in late February, with George, 50, reportedly uncomfortable in the presence of his publicity-seeking girlfriend, who appeared on the American version of Dancing With The Stars back in 2006.

When he attended a glittering White House state dinner to welcome British Prime Minister David Cameron on March 14, Stacy was not in attendance. Nor was she with him earlier in the month when he protested at a rally in Washington D.C., where he was arrested, along with his father, for crossing a police line outside the Sudanese embassy.

According to a source close to George, Stacy’s absence is no coincidence. The actor is getting fed up with her alleged desire to share the spotlight and break into acting.

Read more about George and Stacey rocky relationship in this week’s Woman’s Day on sale Monday April 2, 2012.

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Prince Harry hailed as a hero

Prince William may be the rescue pilot, but Prince Harry is being hailed as a hero after rushing to the aid of a rival polo player during a match that took place on his trip to Brazil last month.

Harry was the first to react when US businessman Bash Kazi dramatically fell off his horse, knocking himself unconscious following a collision during the charity polo match.

Harry leapt off his horse, immediately placing Mr Kazi into the recovery position. The British Red Cross say Harry’s quick thinking may have saved the man’s life.

Mr Kazi has since recovered from the fall telling the Washington Post Harry is ‘such a gentleman’. “Prince Harry was the first one off his horse, doing the right thing, turning me over to make sure I regained consciousness,” he said.

Flick through the pictures, then see the video of Harry helping Mr Kazi.

Prince Harry hailed as a hero.

Prince Harry witnessed Bash Kazi fall from his horse.

He was the first to rush to help him.

Harry placed Mr Kazi in the recovery position while waiting for help to arrive.

Other players watched on as Harry helped Mr Kazi.

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Mattel to make bald Barbie following Facebook campaign

Mattel to make bald Barbie following Facebook campaign

A bald Barbie doll will be made by toy company Mattel after a Facebook campaign received more than 150,000 likes in just three months.

The group called “Beautiful and Bald Barbie! Let’s see if we can get it made” was created by two mothers; Jane Bingham, who lost her hair due to chemotherapy for non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and Rebecca Sypin, whose daughter lost her hair following leukemia treatment.

“Bald Barbie” is designed to help young children going through cancer treatment, and those who are affected by hair loss conditions such as alopecia and trichotillomania.

The aim of the doll, who will be a friend of Barbie, is to help drop the stigma surrounding these conditions.

Campaign co-founders Ms Bingham and Ms Sypin met in an online chat room and, after realising they were in similar situations, decided to put the campaign together.

Ms Bingham first heard of the bald Barbie idea after reading about a four-year-old girl who had undergone cancer treatment and said that she no longer felt like a princess after losing her hair.

The four-year-old had a one-off bald Barbie made for her after another parent at the hospital heard her and approached the CEO of Mattel who was a personal friend.

Ms Bingham told CBS News that although she knew it would be popular, the extent of publicity the campaign has received has exceeded her expectations.

“It’s been great, we couldn’t have done it. They wouldn’t have heard us if it was just a couple of people writing to them,” she said.

The pair said that the campaign was not created to demand that the doll be made, but to create awareness of a condition many children suffer from.

“We are not demanding; we are not asking people to boycott,” Ms Sypin said.

“That wasn’t our goal at all. We’re just trying to raise awareness.”

The doll, which will come with accessories including wigs and hats, will not be sold in stores but will be donated to hospitals throughout the US and Canada and the US National Alopecia Areata Foundation.

A statement from Mattel said: “Through a thoughtful approach, we made the decision not to sell these dolls at retail stores, but rather get the dolls directly into the hands of children who can most benefit from the unique play experience.”

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Stephanie and Eamon: Look who’s back together!

Stephanie and Eamon: Look who's back together!

Four years after they broke up, the former glamour couple of swimming seem to be giving love another chance as they prepare for the London Games.

Eamon Sullivan hasn’t been lucky in love since ending his two-year relationship with golden girl Stephanie Rice on the eve of the Beijing Olympics. But things may be looking up for the handsome swimmer, who was spotted flirting up a storm with his former girlfriend just a week ago at a fashionable pizza restaurant on Sydney’s northern beaches.

“They were laughing and giggling a lot,” reports a fellow diner at the popular Manly Wharf eatery. “They sat opposite each other and there was definitely some sort of chemistry. Stephanie was really animated and joked as she handed him the menu. He seemed a little more reserved, but he was smiling.”

Eamon, 26, and Stephanie, 23, were both selected to compete at the London Olympic Games in July, and were at an orientation weekend in Manly before hooking up for dinner and drinks on Sunday night. While there were others at their table, including MasterChef  hunk Hayden Quinn, the couple seemed to have eyes only for each other, with Stephanie talking excitedly and Eamon leaning forward to catch every word.

They later left the restaurant together, before hitting Manly Wharf Hotel for more celebration drinks. Eamon, who was named CLEO Bachelor of the Year in 2011, has not had a serious relationship since splitting with Stephanie in 2008, so both could concentrate on their Olympics preparations. The fact that she lived in Brisbane and he was based in Perth didn’t help their romance, either.

See the exclusive pictures of Stephanie and Eamon out and about together in in this week’s Woman’s Day on sale Monday April 2, 2012.

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Ashton Kutcher’s ultimate betrayal of Demi Moore

Ashton Kutcher's ultimate betrayal of Demi Moore

Rather than lie low while ex-wife Demi Moore recovers after rehab, Ashton Kutcher makes a play for the hottest young star around.

Young, hot and accepted by the Hollywood in crowd – it’s everything Demi Moore tried so hard to be. Which makes it all the more devastating for her to discover that Ashton Kutcher’s secret new hook-up is exactly that.

Friends of the troubled actress are believed to be on tenterhooks as she absorbs the revelation that Ashton, 34, has been wooing controversial pop star Rihanna since January. Their hook-ups went undetected until last week, when photographers snapped 24-year-old Rihanna being picked up from Ashton’s LA ome at 4am, after spending four hours with the Two And A Half Men star.

Heartbroken Demi, 49, who went to rehab in February with anorexia and addiction issues following a seizure, is putting her foot down and cutting him out for good – at least she wants to. “Demi’s gutted that Ashton has chosen to hook up with a huge celebrity, because he must have known a fling with Rihanna would generate a lot of headlines,” says an insider speaking exclusively to Woman’s Day.

Another source close to Demi adds, “Having a female like Rihanna visit his bachelor pad is the final straw for her. Now she doesn’t want anything to do with Ashton.” But behind her brave face, it’s believed the latest blow could derail all the hard work from her time spent at Cirque Lodge rehab facility in Utah.

Read more about Demi’s breakdown and the celebrity friend who could help her througbh it all in this week’s Woman’s Day on sale Monday April 2, 2012.

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VIDEO: Antonio Banderas caught with another woman

VIDEO: Antonio Banderas caught with another woman

After 15 years of marriage, Melanie’s been left reeling by shocking pictures of her husband kissing another woman.

As Latin music pounded through the Cancun bar, Antonio Banderas, 51, tossed back yet another tequila and made eye contact with a hot young blonde. It wasn’t long before she agreed to dance with the Spanish superstar – and even less time before he followed her to a dark corner of the Congo Bongo nightclub. What happened next was enough to shake his already fragile wife Melanie Griffith to the core.

“They kissed more than once,” a witness tells Woman’s Day. “At 2am, Antonio and his beautiful blonde left together.” Another source adds, “There was so much chemistry that I wouldn’t like to say what might’ve happened next. He was acting like a single man. His wife would be heartbroken if she had seen him that night.”

Melanie, 54, was at home in LA looking after their daughter Stella. At the time of going to press, the actress had yet to officially respond to the damning photographs, but had tellingly re-posted another blogger’s quote, “BoyfriEND, girlfriEND, friEND, everything has an end, except for family.”

The pain of her rocky marriage had been showing well before this incident. As she stormed from the set of The Hot Flashes, quitting the film over what she described as “creative differences”, friends were more stunned by her frail, thin figure. A source says, “Antonio’s begged Melanie to eat more and take better care of herself.” It’s not the first time she’s reportedly been blindsided by allegations of her husband’s cheating in Mexico. Visiting the country in 2007 to promote Shrek The Third, Antonio was spotted at an intimate dinner with a mystery woman.

See the exclusive pictures of Antonio Banderas and his mystery woman in this week’s Woman’s Day on sale Monday April 2, 2012.

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Book Review: ‘Cell 8’ by Roslund & Hellstrom

John Meyer Frey was just seventeen years old when he was sentenced to die for the murder of his girlfriend.
Cell 8

Cell 8 by Roslund & Hellstrom, Quercus, $27.99

You wonder where a novel is going when chapter one has the main character locked up alone on death row.

John Meyer Frey was just seventeen years old when he was sentenced to die for the murder of his girlfriend.

He faces a very short future in a small cell in a forgotten corner of Ohio. Six years later, singer John Schwartz is arrested after assaulting a passenger on a ferry between Finland and Sweden.

Slowly links begin to emerge between the two cases. Police in Stockholm and investigators in the US uncover an incredible plot, which will put the justice system in both countries to the test.

Sweden is to crime novels what France is to cuisine and Germany is to beer, and the thrillers of Roslund & Hellstrom are among its best.

Cell 8 starts slowly, but spirals into suspense so gripping I was reading it at red lights and hoping for a traffic jam.

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What to do about bullies

Survival of the nastiest should not be the law of the schoolyard. Child health expert Erin Erceg has this advice on beating school bullying.

Bullies have made great fodder for stories, from the vile Flashman in the 1857 novel Tom Brown’s Schooldays to the testosterone-laden sports jocks in Revenge Of The Nerds. In fiction, the bullies get their just desserts and the bullied ultimately get the girls. But in real life the effects of school bullying can be much more serious.

In May 2007 the NSW Supreme Court awarded $1million damages to 18-year-old Ben Cox, when it judged he’d been made an anxious, depressed recluse with no friends and no chance of ever being employed as a result of the unchecked violent bullying he endured at age six in primary school.

Bullying is defined as “any offensive or aggressive behaviour directed at another person, repeated over time”. It can be anything from name-calling to insulting mobile phone texts and Internet posts (called cyberbullying) to physical violence.

In Australia, around one in six school students report being bullied at least once a week and one in 20 say they have bullied others. It happens more in primary school, and more to boys than girls.

“Although the rates of bullying have not changed significantly over time, it’s only relatively recently that the extent and the impact of bullying have been recognised and appreciated,” says Erin Erceg, the co-director of the Child Health Promotion Research Centre at Edith Cowan University.

“Bullying by peers is now recognised as a major social problem which can have serious longer term consequences on a victim’s mental, social, physical and emotional health.”

In light of this, schools across Australia are developing programs to help stamp out bullying. But what can parents do if their child is bullied or is the playground bully?

  • Not wanting to go to school and complaining of headaches or stomach aches.

  • Often “losing” things such as clothing or school work and asking for extra lunch or pocket money.

  • Having bruises or cuts they won’t tell you how they got.

  • Being generally unhappy and irritable and having sleeping difficulties.

  • Having no friends to share free time with and being rarely invited to parties or other social activities.

  • Lower school performance.

  • Ask if there’s anything you can do to help make the situation better, and remind your child it’s not their fault this has happened.

  • Make sure they know how to get help and support at school, then talk with their teachers to find out exactly what will be done.

  • At home, help your child work out a plan to improve the situation, so it gives them some sense of control.

  • Keep a record yourself of what happens each day and keep in contact with the school to make sure any changes are still working.

  • Talk with your child about what is acceptable behaviour and what is not, for example, you should not tease people because they look or talk differently.

  • Work with your family to set simple rules about how to treat each other.

  • Help your child make friends by getting them socialising with other kids in the neighbourhood and inviting friends over for visits.

  • Improve their self esteem by encouraging them to have a go at new activities and thinking about their abilities in a realistic way.

  • Ask a teacher for help.

  • Tell the person bullying others that what they’re doing is bullying.

  • Refuse to join in with the bully and walk away.

  • Support the person being bullied.

People who are alone are more likely to be bullied, so tell your kids to be aware of other pupils who are left out or on their own in the playground.

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Duke asks man on mobility scooter: ‘How many people have you knocked over this morning?’

Prince Philip asks man on mobility scooter: 'How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?'

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip in Redbrigde

The Duke of Edinburgh has once again shown an aversion to modern politically correct ways when he asked a disabled man on a mobility scooter if he had run anyone over recently.

Ninety-year-old Prince Philip was in Redbridge taking part in the Queen’s diamond jubilee UK tour when he approached 60-year-old well-wisher David Miller, who was on a four-wheeled mobility scooter.

Related: William and Kate’s romantic ski break

With his usual brusque charm, the Queen’s consort pointed to the scooter and asked: “How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?”

No offence was taken as the man and those around him burst out laughing, reports the UK’s Daily Mail.

“That is just typical from the Duke,” said Mr Miller, who has trouble walking because of a spinal problem, after the royal had passed.

“He is renowned for his humour but no offence was taken; it was all in good humour. I told him no, your Royal Highness, I had not knocked anyone down.”

The royal party received a warm welcome from hundreds of flag-waving school kids as they toured the North London suburb yesterday as part of the national tour to celebrate the Queen’s sixty years on the British throne.

This isn’t the first time Prince Philip has made headlines with an off-the-cuff comment. Here are some of the Duke of Edinburgh’s more famous gaffes:

1981 During a recession the prince said: “Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.”

1995 Speaking to a Scottish driving instructor he wondered: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?”

In pictures: Camilla steps out in Diana’s jewellery

1996 After the Dunblane massacre, at which 16 children and one adult were killed by a gunman, the duke said: “If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”

1998 Speaking to a British student backpacking in Papua New Guinea, he asked: “You managed not to get eaten then?”

2002 Chatting with Indigenous Australians on a visit to the country, he asked: “Do you still throw spears at each other?”

Related video: The Queen gatecrashes a wedding

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