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Would you take an asylum seeker into your home?

*The Weekly's* assistant food editor Xanthe Roberts, her partner Andrew Lockhart, and their Afghan asylum seeker.

The Weekly's assistant food editor Xanthe Roberts, her partner Andrew Lockhart, and their Afghan asylum seeker.

Thousands of people who have arrived in Australia by boat this year will now be allowed to live in the community, while their claims are processed.

Under changes announced by the Gillard government yesterday, they will be paid around 90 percent of the NewStart allowance, or $428 a fortnight.

They will also be entitled to accommodation.

The Opposition says the decision proves that the Gillard government has given up trying to stop boat people from coming to Australia.

The policy was changed because the off-shore detention centres at Nauru and Manus Island are full.

About 400 people are arriving by boat every week; more than 7000 have arrived just since August, and 31,000 since Labor came to power.

Detention centres across the country are hopelessly overcrowded. The Australian newspaper this morning published photographs of people sleeping in tents on Christmas Island.

The government insists the tents aren’t being used as accommodation; they are only for “napping”.

The radio airwaves crackled this morning with people furious about the government’s decision to allow people who arrive by boat to stay in the community.

But not everyone objects: pick up the December issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly to read “The Stranger in Our Spare Room”.

It’s a moving tale, involving one of our own staff, Xanthe Roberts, 28, who last month agreed to take an asylum seeker into her home, as part of the government’s formal Homestay program.

Xanthe’s guest is Kobra: she’s 38, a Mum of four, originally from Afghanistan. She came to Australia by boat, and barely spoke any English when she arrived.

She’s now living with The Weekly’s assistant food editor; cooking up a storm in the kitchen, grateful for the opportunity to build a new life.

Kobra hopes one day that her children can join her. In the meantime, she’s started in The Weekly’s test kitchen, washing dishes, working towards what she hopes is a better future.

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Adoption to become easier, government vows

Adoption to become easier, government vows

The NSW government has vowed to make adoption easier, for both parents who desperately want children, and children who desperately need safe, stable families.

There were just 65 children adopted locally in 2011-12, a rise from 45 the year before.

By contrast, there are more than 35,000 children living in “out-of-home” or foster care.

Most have been removed from their parents, after being deemed to be at serious risk of harm, either because of abuse or neglect.

Many will never live with their parents again, but instead of being adopted, they are forced to bounce from one foster home to the next, unrelated to the person caring for them, who might be doing it only for the money.

The NSW minister for Community Services, Pru Goward, told the Alan Jones radio program in Sydney this morning that she has met children who have no baby photographs, because they have been moved so many times.

Some children live in six, seven or even eight homes, before finally being placed in a “group house” when they turn 15 or 16.

Ms Goward, who is passionate about child welfare, wants to offer them more stability, by making adoption easier.

The former Labor government in NSW was widely believed to be anti-adoption.

There are concerns about re-creating a “stolen generation” of children, taken from their parents to be raised in “better’ homes.

There are also concerns about children being adopted out too quickly. Some parents do recover from drug addiction and mental illness, and are able to care for their children again; and it’s widely agreed that children benefit from having an ongoing relationship with their biological parents, even if they can’t live with them.

A discussion paper on the issue has been released today. You can also comment on the plan to make adoption easier here, or read Pru Goward’s media release here.

The Australian government’s decision to stop all adoptions from Ethiopia was covered by the Weekly in its November edition. You can read that story — Adoption Interrupted here—.

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Kate shares personal holiday snaps

The Duchess of Cambridge is more accustomed to being on the other side of the camera, but she turned photographer during her recent trip to Borneo.

Kate and William visited the remote island as part of their Diamond Jubilee tour in September.

Nearly three months later, the Duchess has released her favourite seven snaps from the trip on her new website.

Kate is a keen photographer, and took pictures for her family’s party pieces website before she joined the royal family last year.

William and Kate in the jungle of Borneo in September.

Photo of Mount Kinabalu.

Kate’s photo of forested hills.

Photo of a palm oil plantation.

A wild Borneo orangutan.

A forest clearing near the Danum Valley research station.

A large tree.

A forest clearing near the Danum Valley research station.

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Miranda’s Flynn is a little charmer

It looks like little Flynn Bloom is a star in the making. His model mum Miranda Kerr has opened up about her son with husband Orlando Bloom, saying that he is quite the little charmer.

“He’s really, really sweet. My son really… loves people,” she told Celebuzz. “And he’s very charming in that he’ll look you straight in the eye, and he’ll give you a little look, and he’ll dance around. He’s quite charismatic.”

The duo have stepped out numerous times together lately in New York with Miranda showing off her model mum style juggling a toddler in heels, while 21-month-old Flynn looks to be following in his mum’s fashionable footsteps.

See the pictrues of Miranda and Flynn here.

Miranda and son Flynn head out and about in New York.

Miranda is one yummy mummy in these thigh-high boots.

Little Flynn walks hand-in-hand with his mum.

Miranda balances her toddler and her large bag in heels as she walks through New York.

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Why Demi is dragging out divorce proceedings

Why Demi is dragging out divorce proceedings

It’s been a year since Demi Moore announced her separation from Ashton Kutcher, but she’s doing everything she can to delay their official split.

The pair are yet to file for divorce and a source tells Radar Online that Demi has been avoiding proceedings because she’s still reeling over the fact that her husband of six years moved on so quickly with his former co-star Mila Kunis.

“Demi has instructed her attorneys to delay negotiations as much as possible,” the source says.

“The main issue they have been fighting over has been the division of assets and the monetary settlement, but it’s now gotten to the point where Ashton is willing to cave in to all of Demi’s demands just to reach a settlement.”

But it seems that despite Ashton agreeing to her terms, Demi is “playing hardball” and continues to throw out new demands.

“It’s driving Ashton nuts as he just wants to close that chapter of his life and move on. He and Mila are very serious about each other and although another marriage isn’t going to happen immediately, it is definitely something both Ashton and Mila have discussed and believe is in their future,” the source says.

Demi’s tactics aren’t only causing her former husband angst, her behaviour has also sparked another rift with her three daughters, who she only recently reconciled with following months of not talking.

“Rumer, Scout and Tallulah have all remained close to Ashton and they have completely come down on his side,” the source says.

“Rumer, especially, is really annoyed at her mother for dragging things out and thinks she is behaving like a total b*tch.”

Demi’s daughters are urging their mother to move on with her life for the sake of her health, but it seems Demi can’t let go.

“As far as the girls and Ashton are concerned, everyone needs to move on with their lives and this whole fiasco has been going on for way too long. However, Demi sees things differently and she cannot forgive Ashton for moving on so quickly to Mila and flaunting their relationship publicly. It’s a classic case of a woman scorned.”

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Madeleine Pulver’s angel: The cop who braved the collar bomb

Collar bomb cop Karen Lowden

Policewoman Karen Lowden, who sat beside Madeleine Pulver throughout her ordeal.

For three long hours on the afternoon of August 3, 2011, police officer Karen Lowden sat with Madeleine Pulver, neither of them sure whether the device strapped to the schoolgirl’s neck would explode. Here, Karen tells her story.

When Karen Lowden took her two-year-old son, Lachlan, to his playgroup in early August, she was given a standing ovation from fellow mothers and handed a greeting card with Wonder Woman on the front.

“Our hero!” read one of the messages inside. “Congrats on a fab job. It’s nice to know we have people like you looking after us.”

Related: Relief for Maddie: Collar bomb hoaxer jailed

It was the end of a remarkable week in the life of a woman who calls herself “just an ordinary police officer”.

For three long hours last year, Karen, a senior constable at Mosman police station on Sydney’s North Shore, sat with 18-year-old schoolgirl Madeleine Pulver in the living room of the teenager’s home, neither of them certain whether the device locked around Madeleine’s neck might explode at any moment.

They talked about the girl’s upcoming HSC exams, her interest in art studies, the minutiae of teenage life in one of Sydney’s most exclusive suburbs — anything to take the teenager’s mind off the suspected collar bomb that had been forcibly strapped to her earlier that afternoon by a masked intruder.

Here was a policewoman and mother, spurred on by maternal instinct and a sense of professional duty to remain by the side of a distressed girl she didn’t know, even as that same instinct was compelling her to walk away for the sake of her own son.

“I never felt at any point that backing out of the room was an option,” Karen, 34, tells The Weekly in an exclusive interview.

“It didn’t even cross my mind to do that while Madeleine was there. There was just no way I was going to leave Maddie in there alone.”

Sitting now in the home she shares with her husband of three years, Dave, 47, a fellow police officer, and their son, Lachlan, Karen is a picture of serenity.

Freshly baked pumpkin scones sit on the kitchen counter, while Lachlan scoots happily around the living room atop his ride-on Thomas The Tank Engine.

“Dave brought home an entire pumpkin the other day,” Karen explains. “And I’ve been baking scones ever since just to use it up”.

Recalling the afternoon last year when her life was turned momentarily upside down, Karen says she didn’t hesitate to sit by Maddie’s side while her colleagues evacuated neighbours from their homes, set up a multi-block perimeter around the house and called in the bomb squad.

“When you see someone in distress, you just want to talk to them, you just want to reassure them that it’s all going to be okay,” says Karen.

“It’s the same as when your child is crying, you just want to comfort them. You don’t want them to sense any stress or panic, because you know it’s only going to upset them more.”

And yet it’s hard to believe that during those three hours, as police scrambled to determine whether the suspected collar bomb really did contain explosives, as the note indicated, Karen never once felt tempted to walk away.

“I did think of Dave and Lachlan at one stage,” she says. “But it just made me determined to survive it. I didn’t say it to Madeleine at the time, but I remember thinking, ‘We’re not going to die today’.”

Paul Douglas Peters, the man responsible for the terrifying crime, was jailed for 13 years and six months yesterday.

As Judge Peter Zahra handed down his sentence, Madeleine’s father Bill broke into tears and hugged his daughter, who was also crying, while Peters had no reaction.

Outside the court, the brave 18-year-old said she was pleased the process was over.

“I realise it’s going to take quite some time to come to terms with what happened but today was important because now the legal process is over,” she said.

“For me it was never about the sentencing but to know that he cannot reoffend, and it was good to hear the judge acknowledge the trauma he has caused my family and me.”

Madeleine added that she was surprised to find this year much harder than last year, but was lucky to have had the support of her family and friends.

In pictures: Crimes that captured Australia

Judge Zahra acknowledged the devastating effect the act has had on the family, saying the impact on the young woman had been severe.

“The fear instilled can only be described as unimaginable,” he told the court.

“The victim was vulnerable. She was on her own studying for her trial HSC exams. She was entitled to the sanctuary of her home.”

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Chilling out in Antarctica: a getaway cruise

A pristine world that penguins, seals and whales all call home, Antarctica is the last great wilderness on earth and is best seen on an expedition cruise, writes Mike Dolan.
Lockroy Station and Harbour, Antarctic Peninsula

The ice tinkling in our glasses has been carved from a glacier earlier in the day – 100,000-year-old ice cubes slowly melting in 30-year-old single malt. As we stand on deck, the glacier in question sparkles on the other side of Paradise Bay, a wall of blue and white ice a kilometre wide where it meets the sea. Slowly it’s receding as our Finnish-built ship, Akademik Loffe, leaves the bay and several of us raise our glasses in a toast.

Antarctica, once described by British polar explorer Robert Scott, as “an awful place” is putting on its best face. Today, the prevailing winds, known as the “Screaming Sixties”, are still. It’s a balmy 4°C. The sun is shining over a placid sea and a pod of humpback whales is escorting the ship into the Lemaire Channel, otherwise known as “Iceberg Alley”.

Now and then, a gentle thud rises from the ship’s ice-hardened hull as it hits a mini-berg. As the ice cubes in our glasses go tinkle, tinkle, the mini-bergs hit the hull with a rhythmical thud, thud. On deck, there’s even a young Australian dressed in thongs, T-shirt and shorts.

It’s incredible to think that this is the same place that Scott, Douglas Mawson and Ernest Shackleton endured such hardships. But make no mistake, Antarctic weather is capricious. A storm could clear the deck in seconds.

Six days prior, we left the Argentine port of Ushuaia on the two-day crossing of Drake Passage – a 700-kilometre stretch of ocean with a fearsome reputation. “If it’s rough, you’ll never forget it,” says the expedition leader. “That’s when we call it Drake’s Shake. If we’re lucky, we’ll get a Drake’s Lake, but don’t count on it.”

As it is, we strike lucky – a perfect Drake’s Lake. Above the gentle swell, albatrosses and petrels circle the ship. Inside, there are lectures on whales and krill, giant squid, polar expeditions and the three species of penguin we will see – adelie, gentoo and chinstrap.

On the third day, it’s considerably chillier. Overnight, the ship sailed into the Antarctic Convergence, a frigid current that circulates clockwise around the continent, effectively sealing off Antarctica from the Atlantic, Indian and Pacific oceans.

That evening, a bird watcher on the foredeck yells “landfall”. We all raise our binoculars. Is it land or an anvil-shaped storm cloud on the horizon? It is land; our destination – a chain of snow-covered mountains on the Antarctic Peninsula, the great finger of land that rises from the western edge of the continent towards South America.

As the sun is low, the mountains are bathed in a gentle orange glow. In the foreground, massive bergs with sapphire bands of ancient ice are fringed with snow.

Antarctica is twice the size of Australia and contains about 70 per cent of the world’s ice and snow. With the geographic South Pole at its centre, most of the continent fits snugly within the Antarctic Circle, the line of latitude at 66 degrees south that marks the limit of the midnight sun. It’s a place so pristine that in 1961 the Antarctic Treaty was ratified by 45 nations and declared “a natural reserve, devoted to peace and science”.

On the fourth morning, we wake up at the entrance of the Lemaire Channel, also known as ”Kodak Gap”, one of the most photographed places on the peninsula. Snow-covered peaks tower either side of the ship. Icebergs, 10 storeys high, drift by like celestial battleships. Flocks of adelie penguins skim across the waves.

By 10am, the ship is at anchor and we are climbing into Zodiacs (rigid, inflatable craft) that take us to the shores of Petermann Island and a gentoo penguin rookery. Here, thousands of the birds tend their chicks and squabble with their neighbours. The smell of guano is challenging, but we soon get used to it. Rising above the rookery is a giant cross commemorating three polar explorers who ventured into the mountains beyond, never to be seen again.

Before returning to the ship for lunch, we visit Vernadsky Station, formerly known as Faraday, where British scientists discovered the hole in the ozone layer in 1984. In 1997, the British sold the station to Ukraine for £1 and left their mock-Tudor bar for the Ukranian scientists, who now use it to welcome visitors with shots of homemade vodka.

On day five, the 16 Australians on board find themselves in the Zodiac of Ray Mahon, 75, a fellow Aussie, and clearly one of most popular members of the expedition team.

In 1963, after completing a 1700km Antarctic expedition, Ray was presented with the Polar Medal by the Queen, the same award given to Scott and Roald Amunsden, the first man to reach the South Pole. Ray’s instinct for finding wildlife is uncanny. As we explore the waters around Pleneau Island, he leads us to a giant leopard seal sunbaking on an icefloe and a pod of humpback whales feeding on shoals of krill, small shrimp-like creatures.

The six days in Antarctica pass quickly. We track pods of minke whales around Neko Harbour, kayak around Dorian Bay, trek over ice sheets on Wiencke Island, visit several penguin rookeries and cruise through channels full of icebergs, sculpted into incredible shapes by wind and water.

On our last day in Antarctic waters, there’s a morning on Deception Island, a desolate volcano with black sand beaches, where thousands of humpbacks were massacred at the old whaling station. Here, during a light blizzard, 26 brave passengers take a quick swim on a beach, where hot volcanic springs heat the sea to a little above freezing.

That night in the ship’s bar, Ray raises a glass with a single malt and the last of the 100,000-year ice and makes a toast to Antarctica. “Until travel to space becomes commonplace, Antarctica is the closest we will ever get to visiting an alien planet. Long may this precious place be protected.”

TRAVEL ESSENTIALS

NRMA Travel and One Ocean offer cruises to Antarctica. All cruises depart from Ushuaia, Argentina and packages include return flights to Argentina, transfers, most meals and pre- and post-cruise accommodation and wet weather gear. For details, call 1300 273 972 or visit LAN offers daily flights from Australia to Santiago, Chile, and has an extensive network within Chile and also to the Argentine port of Ushuaia, where many Antarctic cruises depart.

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Ines de la Fressange: How to dress like a French woman

Ines de la Fressange: How to dress like a French woman

Ines de la Fressange at the Cannes Film Festival in May.

What makes a French woman so effortlessly stylish? Bryce Corbett meets model and muse Ines de la Fressange.

It’s a late summer’s day in Paris. In her pink-painted office above a designer fashion store in the first arrondissement, Ines de la Fressange is having a horror flashback.

“I was a granny amongst all these Russian teenagers,” she drawls in her heavy French accent. “I was petrified.”

Ines is recalling the moment two years ago she came out of retirement and stepped back into the international modelling limelight after agreeing to make a special appearance in a Karl Lagerfeld collection for Chanel.

Related: The crisis rocking Australia’s fashion industry

“I remember stepping out onto the catwalk and thinking: “I’m 53 — I don’t need this kind of anguish in my life.”

She may not have wanted the anguish in her life, and she may be trying to convince herself her return to the catwalk had all the grace of mutton dressed as lamb, but she’s fooling no-one. Whatever it is this middle-aged French woman exudes, it seems plenty of women want some it in their lives.

The dress she modelled proved so popular, Chanel was unable to keep up with orders. Her every public appearance in France is breathlessly reported. She regularly makes Vanity Fair’s list of Most Stylish People (an honour she dismisses with a derisive laugh). And her latest endeavour, a book revealing the style tips of the Parisian woman (titled, what else? Parisian Chic) is flying off the shelves in the UK.

“The phone here never stops,” she tells me with a melodramatic roll of the eyes. “I have people phoning all day every day asking me where I shop, where I eat, where I buy rugs for my house. It got to the point where it was just easier to sit down and write a book.”

It speaks to the enduring appeal of a woman who, in her younger days, was selected by the French state to be the modern day incarnation of ‘la Marianne’ — the symbolic personification of the French republic.

She’s a fashion model with an aristocratic background (her father was a marquis) and healthy disdain for the trappings of the fashion world. She’s made — and continues to make, as a brand ambassador for the venerable French fashion house Roger Vivier — a tidy living from the rag trade, but manages to keep the sillier aspects of the industry at a healthy, French woman’s arm’s length.

“The truth of the matter is that Parisian women do not have a monopoly on style,” she says. “There are elegant women all over the world. It’s quite simply that fashion is such an integral part of the culture of the city in Paris — it’s part of the fabric of everyday life. Even foreigners who live in Paris start to dress differently after a while.

“What few women understand is that you don’t need a lot of money to dress stylishly and look good. French women are very good at matching an expensive item of clothing with something affordable. The important thing is to feel good in your clothes. Money doesn’t need to play a role in how stylish you are.”

I lived in Paris for ten years and can readily attest to the effortlessness with which French women carry themselves. As Ines explains, much of the secret of French women’s style is the effort they go to make it look like they haven’t gone to any effort at all.

Related: My very stylish week in Copenhagen

“Shopping is something French women do discreetly,” she says. “They don’t do it with girlfriends, they don’t make an all-day event of it, and they spend their money sparingly and carefully — buying a few pieces of quality tailoring that they can mix and match rather than lots of cheaper clothes.

“It may sound odd, but a French woman spends much less time than, say, a Californian woman getting ready to go out. They don’t go for manicures every week or to the hairdressers all the time, they don’t wear a tonne of cosmetics.

“It’s very much a part of the French female psyche that they will want to appear to be clever before wanting to appear to be beautiful.

“The ironic thing about Paris being the capital of fashion is that while it is the home of all the world’s most iconic fashion houses, French women are not obsessed with owning label clothing in the way women from other countries seem to be. You don’t see French women queuing up outside Louis Vuitton waiting to buy a handbag.”

The mother of two — whose eldest daughter Nine, 17, demonstrates in the book how to dress a la Parisienne and has recently appeared in a Bottega Veneta fashion campaign — believes while it is important to age gracefully, a woman should never let herself go.

“Age is no excuse for giving up and letting go,” she says. “It’s the opposite, in fact. As you get older, you need to be more vigilant about your sense of style, make more effort and not just let it all slide.”

Related: Dressing Chrissie Swan

Ines admits however that when it comes to fashion magazines, the older female demographic is woefully under-represented and under-served.

“This obsession with youth is just crazy,” she says “Even more so because older women are often the ones with more disposable income.”

And her advice to anyone contemplating cosmetic surgery? Don’t.

“I’m completely against extreme cosmetic surgery,” she says. “Really obvious work looks terrible on a woman. I see them all the time at fashion shows and in the society pages of magazines and I have to look away. All it does is make a unique face common. It takes what makes each one of us an individual and turns us all into copies of one another.”

And yet, she’s not opposed to a little touch up. Such is the French woman’s prerogative.

“Of course, if one is discreet, and one does it in moderation, I can understand why you might want to have a little work under the eyes,” she adds, with the barest glimmer in her eyes.

She looks at her watch and declares she has to run. It’s time to collect her youngest daughter Violette from school.

One last word of advice, I plead as she sweeps up her handbag. What would she say to any woman who looks in the mirror and feels flat?

Related: Why it doesn’t pay to be a model

She pauses at the door, long limbs unfurled, hair falling playfully across her face.

“Take a bath, have a haircut and throw out some old clothes,” she says. “You’ll feel better almost immediately, trust me.”

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Summer with the Australian Women’s Weekly

Summer with the Australian Women's Weekly

Natalie Gruzlewski.

With summer just around the corner, The Australian Women’s Weekly and Channel 9 are joining forces to make your holiday season the best ever.

Hosted by the beautiful Natalie Gruzlewski and starring a range of celebrity guests, the first of our two TV specials Summer with the Australian Women’s Weekly will air on Sunday, November 25 at 6.30pm.

Julie Goodwin and House Husbands star Gyton Grantley combine to make their favourite delicious summer salads, while Jamie Durie shows you how to make the perfect DIY outdoor setting.

Jesinta Campbell runs through summer’s hottest fashions, Jackie French makes a fun and functional scarecrow for your backyard and Brad and Lara from The Block 2012 take on a new challenge — and this time they’re competing against each other.

The Today show’s Karl Stefanovic, Richard Wilkins, Georgie Gardner and Cameron Williams join in an alfresco feast that will tempt the tastebuds, and viewers will be treated to an acoustic performance on the beach by Timomatic.

The second part in the amazing series, Christmas with the Australian Women’s Weekly, will air on Sunday, December 9, at 6.30pm, and stars Maggie Beer, Julia Morris, Jaynie Seal, Luke Mangan, Giaan Rooney, Jamie Durie and Jessica Mauboy.

Summer with the Australian Women’s Weekly will air on Sunday, November 25 at 6.30pm on Channel 9.

Christmas with the Australian Women’s Weekly will air on Sunday, December 9 at 6.30pm on Channel 9.

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*X-Factor’s* Samantha Jade: My secret love affair

X-Factor's Samantha Jade: My secret love affair

The rising star only has eyes for one guy…

She’s wowed the nation with solid performances week in-week out, but to her boyfriend, Swedish record producer Christian Nilsson, Samantha Jade’s always been a star.

The couple fell in love when Samantha, 25, was recording songs in Sweden several years ago. “They moved to Los Angeles together and have been inseparable ever since,” a friend of the pair reveals to Woman’s Day. Samantha’s rocky road to success has been well documented on The X-Factor, which she admits is her final shot at stardom.

“Sammy was being flown around the world first class when she was still a kid,” X-Factor judge and her mentor Guy Sebastian reveals. “She was signed to Britney’s label and when Britney took off, she kind of got sidelined.”

Friends say Christian has been by Sammy’s side through thick and thin. The couple have been in a long-distance relationship since she moved back to Perth and began working for her father’s mining company while Christian stayed in LA. But the handsome Swede remains Sam’s biggest fan. “I love you,” he writes on her Facebook page. “Miss you doll.” Clearly, it will take more than distance to tear this loving couple apart.

Read more about Samantha’s love interest in this week’s Woman’s Day on sale Monday November 19, 2012.

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