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My Christmas carol nightmare

My Christmas carol nightmare

It would be almost impossible to besmirch the festive, tinkling beauty of Martin Place in Sydney on Christmas Eve.

The Christmas tree towering over tinselled decorations, parents and children smiling with excitement.

Almost impossible. At nine years old, my sister Shelley and I gave it a red hot go.

We’d always loved Christmas carols in our house, as Mum is extremely musical, a talent which rubbed off in differing dollops onto her offspring.

One year, as children, she and Dad took us to Martin Place on Christmas Eve to see the decorations and hear the Salvation Army carollers.

One year, the crinkly and affable Head Salvo (I assumed he was the boss, because he had both a hat and a microphone), asked the crowd if there were any children in the audience who might like to sing a carol.

My brother Michael, with the massive blue eyes and almost illegally cute dimples of his boyhood, volunteered.

You could feel the ripple of “awww” pass suddenly and warmly through the crowd as he took the microphone, as if a kitten had been gently dropped in a bucket of unicorn-shaped marshmallows.

And then he sang Little Drummer Boy. By the first “Pa-Rumpa-Pum-Pum”, the crowd was rapturous Yuletide putty in his hands.

Thanks to this ten-year-old kid with the voice of fifteen pre-pubescent angels, the centre of the city was struck quiet with tears in its collective eyes.

After the applause died down, my twin sister Shelley and I formulated a plan.

Humility oozed effortlessly out of our brother, but Shelley and I were made from much more attention-seeking, precocious stuff.

We would sing with the Sallies next year. We would stun observers into tremble-lipped silence. We would sing Gloria In Excelsis Deo with Latin bits and harmonies.

The following year, after rehearsing with each other all week, our hearts leapt when Mr Crinkly Salvo asked if any children would like to step up to the stage. The assembled crowd made appreciative noises as the twin nine-year-olds stepped up to the microphone.

We took a deep breath, ready to start, when suddenly someone strangled a couple of bison and started up a leaf-blower.

Except it wasn’t. It was the sound of us singing. We’d never sung into a microphone or been that nervous before, and behold the disastrous result — two girls wailing the word ‘Gloooooriaaaa’ in a descending, discordant, flinch-inducing arc.

I can’t remember handing the microphone back. I can’t remember sprinting into the sympathetic but highly embarrassed arms of my mother. I can remember crying. I can’t, and won’t, ever remember the words to that bloody song again.

Your say: What is your most embarrassing Christmas memory? [email protected]

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Young royals: From toddlers to superstars

The British monarchy has never been cooler and that’s official. Since last year’s royal wedding, the family is enjoying and all-time high.

So what is the reason behind this surge in popularity? The House of Windsor’s next generation, led by William, Kate and Harry.

The young royals have proven a valuable asset and are now so beloved even Harry’s naked photo scandal didn’t dampen their appeal.

To pay tribute to the new generation of royals we have put together a collection of pictures of their transformation from toddlers to bona fide celebrities.

The so-called ‘royal posse’ at the Trooping of the Colour parade in June 2012.

William, Harry, Beatrice and Eugenie on a family skiing holiday.

William and Harry at Kensington Palace.

Charles, Diana, William and Harry on holiday in Italy.

Prince Harry with his mother Princess Diana.

William and Harry at Sandringham.

Princess Anne with a young Zara and Peter.

Prince Harry on his first day at nursery school.

A young Princess Beatrice.

Zara at a gymnastics competition.

A grumpy William at Kensington Palace.

Beatrice and Eugenie with their mother Sarah Ferguson.

Fergie, Beatrice and Eugenie skiing.

William and Harry at Harry’s first public engagement.

Fergie and Beatrice.

William and Harry on Harry’s first day of school.

William, Harry and Beatrice.

A teenaged Prince Harry.

William and Harry sharing a laugh.

Polo princes: William and Harry at a game.

The young royals with the Queen.

William and Harry out partying in 2004.

William and Zara playing polo.

William and Harry.

William and Kate in Canada.

Zara and Harry.

Zara messing around with William at a horse show.

William and Harry.

William and Harry in Africa in 2010.

William and Kate at the Olympics.

William and Kate cheer for Zara at the Olympics.

Harry, Beatrice and Eugenie cheer for Zara at the Olympics.

Prince William in Australia in 2011.

William and Kate in Canada in July 2011.

Harry and Zara at the rugby.

William and Kate.

The young royals turn out to support Zara at the Olympics.

Zara Phillips at William and Kate’s wedding.

Zara and Princess Anne.

William, Zara and Harry attend the royal Christmas service at Sandringham.

Harry and Eugenie.

Beatrice in her infamous royal wedding hat.

Kate and Eugenie at Ascot in 2011.

Beatrice and her boyfriend Dave Clark.

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Bert Newton to undergo lifesaving surgery

Bert Newton to undergo lifesaving surgery

TV veteran Bert Newton will undergo lifesaving quadruple bypass heart surgery on Saturday.

Talking to the Herald Sun, Bert said he consulted his doctor on Wednesday after experiencing chest pains and was sent straight to the Epworth Hospital in Richmond.

Bert, who is currently being comforted by his wife Patti and their grandchildren, says he is not nervous about the surgery and is feeling optimistic.

“Obviously it’s not the sort of thing you would wish upon yourself, but I am philosophical,” he said.

“It’s something that is going to be quite a journey that I’ve not made before.”

He also said his diagnosis has made him realise how important it is to have health issues checked out.

“It’s brought it home to me, all the things that I’ve been saying about what men should do, I should have been a little bit more closer to it myself,” he said.

“Because I’ve had some chest pains and I sort of fobbed them off and said, you know, it’s indigestion or whatever… and I came in for a check-up because I had some stents in my heart, and turns out it’s a little more serious than that.”

Bert will remain in hospital for at least two weeks following his surgery.

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Bryce Courtenay loses battle with cancer at 79

Adoption to become easier, government vows

One of Australia’s favourite authors, Bryce Courtenay, has died at the age of 79.

The South African-born novelist passed away in his Canberra home at 11pm on Thursday with his family by his side, ending a long battle with stomach cancer.

The best-selling author was best known for his much-loved novel The Power of One, the story of a child growing up in the time of South Africa’s apartheid.

Published in 1989, the book sold more than 8 million copies and remains one of Australia’s best-selling novels.

He has penned more than 20 works other works, and became a Member of the Order of Australia in 1995, and has been acknowledged as an Australia Post Literary Legend.

He revealed his diagnosis only months ago.

“I have been diagnosed with terminal gastric cancer and am expected to have only some months to share with my adorable wife Christine,” he shared with Facebook fans in September.

At the time, wife Christine Gee said she found the diagnosis devastating.

“Bryce is Australia’s Dickens,” she told A Current Affair.

“He’s an inspiration. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to be married to him and I know he’ll live in our hearts forever.”

Courtenay is survived by his wife Christine Gee and his children Adam and Brett, and his beloved pets Tim, the dog, and Cardamon, a Burmese cat.

In a moving epilogue in his final book, Bryce said to readers “It’s been a privilege to write for you and to have you accept me as a storyteller in your lives. Now, as my story draws to an end, may I say only, ‘Thank you. You have been simply wonderful.’”

Minutes after Courtenay’s publisher Penguin released a statement that the author had passed away, social media had already begun flooding with heartfelt tributes.

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Crete: a Greek oasis

The Greek island of Crete may make an ideal beach holiday, but if you stay on the sand you’ll be missing out on so much.
Chania's Venetian port, north-western Crete

A week at the beach drives some people doolally. Yes, doolally – it’s a word that originates in India, where British soldiers at an army transit camp called Deolali often lost their marbles due to heat and boredom.

That’s exactly what happens to me on a beach holiday. The sand may be silky, the sea turquoise and the palms picture-postcard perfect, but seven days of it … Well, I’ve been to Deolali and never want to go there again. I love the beach, but not for a week.

A cool dip is a tonic, especially after a visit to a temple. And it doesn’t have to be a temple – it could be a bustling food market, a medieval port, lunch at a mountain-top taverna, a hike through a gorge or a stroll around the palace of an ancient civilisation, where the frescoes are so beautiful they almost make you cry.

The point is a holiday should have substance – layered experiences of relaxation, a few expeditions and plenty of rewards. YOU choose the destination and the pace – and when you’re satisfied the day is done, whether that’s at 11am or 3pm, it’s time to head to the beach or the bar, whatever tickles your fancy.

A destination where you can balance being a beach bum with a little exploration is Chania (pronounced Hania), in north-west Crete. The place has pedigree. In the mists of time, it was a fishing village; then a 6th century Arab trading centre and Byzantine port, before the Venetians took over in the 12th century. After which it blossomed as a cosmopolitan playground under the Ottomans in the 17th century.

Hence, it’s a compelling and seductive blend of Arabia, Byzantine, Venice and Constantinople. In fact, this little harbour town is so full of history, it has more UNESCO World-Heritage buildings than you can poke a stick at.

There’s a lighthouse, circa 1595, at the end of the sandstone harbour wall; Byzantine ruins, Venetian palaces and lofty maritime centres, traditional Ottoman mansions, mosques and churches, cobbled streets and vine-covered courtyards, plus several markets and craft shops. And it’s all on a human scale. No huge cruise ships anchor here, like they do at the port of Rethymnon, an hour’s drive east. Chania’s harbour was built for schooners and galleons – not container ships the size of a Greek island.

The town beaches are pleasant enough, but 20 minutes away by car on the Akrotiri Peninsula is a sandy cove called Stavros, sheltered by an awesome mountain of biblical beauty. So pristine is this beach, you could imagine the gods of Mount Olympus bathing here.

Back in Chania, there are dozens of fine restaurants. Take your pick. There are numerous Greek tavernas, such as Taman, at 49 Zambelion, Jewish Quarter; and Turkish grills, like Well of the Turk, at Kallinikou Sarpaki 1-3; several Italian trattoria, including Kariastis, at Katechaki 12, Old Harbour; a French bistro and a Japanese garden establishment, where you can eat sushi under vines heavy with fresh grapes. Select your habourside restaurant with care. A high turnover of tourists doesn’t guarantee quality – in fact, the opposite is often true – and those on the waterfront are always crowded. If you want to eat the freshest fish from a table on the beach with the locals, catch a taxi to Thalasino Ageri – it’s sublime.

And a place to stay? Those after a 5-star treat should look no further than the fabulous Casa Delfino Hotel, an exquisitely renovated Venetian palace, in the old town, with a divine courtyard and mesmerising views from a roof terrace. Alternatively, there’s the bargain three-star Pandora Hotel/Suites, on the other side of the harbour, which, like Casa Delifno, has an elevated, quiet position off the harbour promenade, and equally good views from a roof terrace. The Pandora is not as chic as Casa Delfino, but it is a third of the price and quite lovely.

Spice up your holiday with an adventure. On the south coast, three-and-half hours by car, via Rethymno and the mountain spa town of Spili, is Agia Galini, a dazzlingly white wedding cake-type of town overlooking a turquoise bay. Nearby is the ancient Minoan palace city of Phaistos and a little further along the road is the Minoan/Roman ruins of Gortyn &#151 once a large ancient town.

An overnight stay at Agia Galini and a two-and-half drive north will take you passed Phaistos and Gortyn to Crete’s capital, Heraklion, and its Archaeological Museum with its treasure trove of Minoan finds and frescoes. The Minoans left behind those spectacular seascapes of cavorting dolphins and lissom youths somersaulting over bulls.

Twenty minutes south of Heraklion is Knossos, an ancient Minoan capital (circa 1750BC), which many suspect was once the home of King Minos and the site of legendary labyrinth of the minotaur. From 1901, eminent archaeologist, Sir Arthur Evans, not only excavated site, but also reconstructed the palace – the results are dazzling. It opens at around 8am. Get there early when it’s quiet; by 9.30am it’s swarming with tourists who come by the coachload.

For those who love a challenge, there’s the Samaria Gorge. A trek along its 16-18km length takes between five and six hours. It’s said to be “Europe’s longest” canyon. It’s definitely an all-day excursion with an early start. Go with a tour company which will pick you up and organise your return. At trek’s end, there’s a glorious beach and at the nearby village, Agia Roumeli, where a boat will take you to either Loutro or Hora Sfakion, where your original bus will whisk you back to Chania. Just remember, the day after the trek, you’ll need a day lounging on the beach.

One last tip: avoid the peak European summer season and settle for the northern spring or autumn. I’d suggest late September/early October – the crowds have gone home, the skies are still blue and the heavy summer heat is well on its way to the Southern Hemisphere.

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Bryce Courtenay dies aged 79

Bryce Courtenay dies aged 79

Australian best-selling author Bryce Courtenay has died at his Canberra home aged 79.

The father of three was surrounded by his loving family when he passed away yesterday (Thursday), following a short battle with stomach cancer.

Christine Courtenay has thanked her husband’s many fans for their support and made a request for privacy.

“We would like to thank all of Bryce’s family and friends and his fans around the world for their love and support as he wrote the final chapter of his extraordinary life,” Christine said.

“May we make the request for privacy as we cherish his memory.”

In a recent A Current Affair interview, done after his diagnosis, Bryce revealed he was “ready to die”, saying he had lived a “very full and extraordinary life”.

Christine also spoke in the interview about her love and admiration for her husband.

“It [the diagnosis] was devastating but we feel immense gratitude for the love that we have from our family and friends and Bryce’s wonderful readers,” she said.

“We love him so much. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to be married to him and I know he will live in our hearts forever.”

Courtenay, who was originally from South Africa and immigrated to Australia in the 1950s, wrote a number of best-sellers including The Power of One which was made into a film starring Morgan Freeman. This book alone sold more than 8 million copies around the world.

Leave your tributes to Bryce and his family below.

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Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz Beckham offered modelling contracts

With sexy David Beckham for a father, Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz were always going to be good looking boys - now they're potential models!
Crus, Romeo and Brooklyn Beckham

With sexy David Beckham for a father, Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz were always going to be good looking boys but we weren’t prepared for just how cute they’d become.

The three Beckham boys are getting more handsome every day and we aren’t the only ones who think so – all three lads have reportedly been offered modelling contracts by clothing giant Gap.

Brooklyn, 13, Romeo, 10, and seven-year-old Cruz are reportedly keen to become models, but parents David and Victoria are said to be reluctant.

Here are our favourite pictures of the gorgeous trio.

Cruz, Romeo and Brooklyn watching their dad play soccer.

The Beckham boys watching a basketball game in LA last week.

Brooklyn and David in May 2012.

The Beckhams in May 2012.

David, Brooklyn and Romeo in December 2011.

David with his stylish boys in October 2010.

The Beckhams in December 2010.

Victoria and Cruz in 2008.

David with Brooklyn and Cruz in November 2008.

The Beckham boys in 2007.

Victoria and Romeo in 2004.

Victoria and Romeo in 2003.

Brooklyn Beckham in 2001.

Adorable Brooklyn in 2000.

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Leave it to mum: The lazy generation

Leave it to mum: The lazy generation

Generation Y are staying under their parents' roof longer than ever, but they still don't pick up after themselves

By age 34, one in four Generation Y’s still haven’t flown the coop and left home, but that doesn’t mean they’re making domestic life any easier for mum.

Researchers from the University of NSW have found that even though they have an extra pair of hands around the house, mothers are still picking up after their adult children.

Related: Women still doing more housework than men

The study analysing the division of the domestic workload among more than 5500 young people aged 15-34 living in the family home found that their mothers took care of roughly six times more housework than their adult sons, 4.4 times more than their grown up daughters, and took on double the domestic duties of the man of the house.

“You might think that as children get older they would make a more equal contribution to housework, cleaning, cooking and washing, but it’s really not the case,” said Associate Professor Lyn Craig, who led the study.

“It does seem to be a sticky problem. You might hope for more signs of change which are sadly not really there.”

Household duties were found to be largely left to mum. The study showed 97 percent of mothers did some domestic work every day, compared to 81 percent of fathers, 73 percent of young women, and 54 percent of young men.

Not that the mums of Australia are counting, but the numbers show they do 229 minutes of domestic work each day.

Their adult daughters were found to devote 52 minutes to domestic duties while the boys spend only 38 minutes on their chores.

Related: Men will do the dishes – in 39 years

“It’s difficult to change roles within the family home,” Professor Craig said.

“If mum has already done the laundry and dad has always mowed the lawn, there is an expectation that that will continue even when the adult children are old enough to do it themselves. The expectations don’t really shift even though the children are old enough to live independently.”

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Crushed elephant keeper opens up about attack

Lucy Melo, the elephant keeper who was attacked by elephant Pathi Harn, aka Mr Shuffles, has opened up for the first time about the incident.
Elephant keeper looking forward to working with attacker

Elephant keeper Lucy Melo is recovering after being crushed by a Taronga Zoo elephant. Photo: Taronga Zoo

In an open letter, the Taronga Zoo keeper told of her recovery, has thanked supporters, and pardoned the elephant that nearly killed her.

Although the incident left her in a critical condition, with broken ribs yet to heal, Lucy took the opportunity to explain the 2 1/2 year old one tonne elephant’s actions.

“As many remember, Pathi’s birth 2 1/2 years ago was indeed a miracle as he was presumed dead in the womb. Being a part of getting Pathi Harn well and on his feet after such a dramatic and traumatic start to life remains one of the biggest highlights of my career,” she wrote in an open letter

It was during a training session last month when the 2 1/2 year old one tonne elephant, usually a placid creature, turned on Lucy.

“I realised he was thinking of challenging me. I immediately tried to redirect his thoughts by asking him for a different behaviour, and at the same time I was making my way out of the stall,” she wrote.

“Unfortunately, just as I was almost out, he raised his trunk and pinned me against one of the metal bollards. His trunk on my chest took my breath away, which made it impossible for me to talk and tell him to stop.

“My co-workers immediately reacted, and stepped in to move him away from me. He was completely fine afterwards and acted as though nothing had happened.”

The elephant crushed Lucy, causing her heart to stop for five minutes. Remarkably, she was left without serious injuries and is not waiting “for some fractured ribs to heal.”

While Lucy pardoned the elephant’s actions in her letter, she did acknowledge his aggressive actions were unusual.

“While juvenile male elephants will often challenge and test their boundaries as they mature, we were taken aback to see it happen in a calf as young as Pathi.”

He is now being worked in a more protected management style.

Lucy is now looking forward to returning work with the elephants “especially Pathi Harn!”

In her letter, the elephant keeper expressed her gratitude for all the love and support send to her during the recovery process.

“The well wishes, cards, flowers, and gifts from friends, family and even complete strangers meant so much to me, and I truly believe it led to my speedy recovery. I want to extend a special thank you to my work mates, who attended to me immediately and handled the situation with total professionalism and compassion.”

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Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip’s 65 year love story

This year marks the 65 year anniversary of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip. We look back at their love story.

Then…

As newlyweds the pair walked the grounds of Broadlands, the home of the Duke’s uncle, Earl Mountbatten, on their honeymoon, during November 1947.

Now…

The Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, The Duke of Edinburgh re-visit Broadlands, to mark their Diamond Wedding Anniversary back in 2007.

Then…

Queen Elizabeth II and the Duke of Edinburgh wave at the crowds from the balcony at Buckingham Palace back in 1953.

Now…

The pair have practically been inseparable since they began dating and accompany each other on almost all of their royal engagements.

Then…

The pair look lovingly at each other during their first official photo shoot as a couple.

Now…

The pair still have the same look of love for each other.

Then…

The newlywed pair looking at their wedding photos together.

Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth

Now…

The pair have enjoyed many royal weddings together including their children’s and their grandchildren’s weddings.

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