We were in our final year of high school, and my beautiful, highly intelligent and talented best friend, Fiona, had met the man of her dreams. She was over the moon in love with him and I could understand why. He was caring and thoughtful, tall and good-looking. He was serious eye candy and I found myself blushing in his company and often had impure thoughts about him.
Fiona and I were both equally ambitious to go to university the next year.
For the past six years we’d been inseparable, spending every weekend camped out at each other’s houses. We’d had our fair share of boyfriends along the way, but always remained true to one another in the name of female solidarity.
But I knew Ryan was different. He wasn’t just a distraction for Fiona, he was the one. We had our final exams to study for and they paced their time together, kindly including me on outings as often as they could.
When Ryan’s parents invited Fiona to dinner to meet the girl of his dreams, I was invited along as well. They all seemed to adore her and when Ryan’s father confided in me that “she was the girl he would marry”, I felt the first twinge of jealousy set in.
I had never before felt jealous of her, because I loved her unconditionally as my best friend. While she was a natural blonde with bright blue eyes, I was confident with my smattering of freckles and hazel eyes. I felt we were both pretty in our respective ways.
Our school year ended on a high note, with both of us doing very well academically. Fiona was dux and we all went out to celebrate. Ryan was so proud of her and gave her an amazing commitment ring. I was green with envy.
When the university offers came in, Fiona was offered a full scholarship to study medicine at Otago University in Dunedin, New Zealand. I did not get into the medical course I’d applied for, but was accepted for a BSC degree at Sydney University in our home town. At first I was sad that we’d be separated, but then I remembered how envious I had been feeling lately. I reasoned some distance between us might be a good thing.
Ryan was inconsolable when he found out about her offer, as he’d just accepted a new job in Sydney and this was to be the start of a rewarding career for him. They spent every living moment together leading up to her departure for university. I was left out of their plans. I felt sorry for myself and missed my best friend.
The time soon arrived for Fiona to move countries and leave Ryan and me behind. Ryan was as lost as I felt and he started to spend more and more time with me and my family.
I saw this as my opportunity and turned on all the charm. I was always so grateful to see him, chatting about Fiona and filling him in on her university gossip. One day I hinted that she’d met a fellow student she was pretty interested in.
This broke Ryan’s heart, but I had no conscience. I knew that I wanted him for myself. I was prepared to go to battle and lose Fiona’s friendship for him.
They exchanged a few heated emails, with Ryan accusing her of cheating on him. She invited him to come over so they could sort out this misunderstanding.
He asked me for advice and I lied blatantly, telling him Fiona had treated all her past boyfriends this way. He believed me, as he reasoned I knew her best, and broke it off with her. I could tell her world had crumbled. She called me to chat and Ryan answered the phone. He was firm when he told her that it was really over between them and revealed that he was interested in me now. At last, I was victorious!
I cut all ties completely with Fiona, changed my mobile number, moved in with Ryan and warned my family that I wanted nothing more to do with Fiona.
A couple of years later we got married and Ryan supported me through university. Over the years we had two children who both look so much like him.
A year ago Ryan was offered a career change with a move to Auckland, and I instantly thought of Fiona. It had been 12 years since we had seen her. We discussed it and both felt that if she were still living in New Zealand, we would have no problem seeing her again.
I found her email address and we began to chat. She was now a successful doctor practising in Auckland and was very happy to make contact with me again. Ryan and I decided to invite her over to meet our children.
When she walked in the door, she lit up the room with her beauty, grace and wonderful energy and I remembered just how much I missed her.
She looked amazing, toned and tanned, having just returned to NZ after a summer break in Europe, water-skiing and sailing in the Mediterranean. She’d done very well financially, far better than we had, and owned a lovely heritage home on the shore.
Next to her, with the rush of life and the exhaustion of motherhood, I felt like a wilted flower. I was envious of her lifestyle – she was planning a winter break to ski in the Alps. I realised that I’d missed out on her company all those years and could see how much Fiona lived, played and worked with vitality. I was envious and impressed at the same time.
Our children instantly fell in love with her too. Our young daughter asked her, “Why don’t you have children of your own? You would be a fantastic mum.”
To which Fiona replied, “I’ve not met the man to spend the rest of my life with yet.”
I looked up at Ryan then, and saw his eyes soften. I can’t help feeling responsible for destroying their hopes of a life together.
I really hope they never find out how I lied.
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