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Ask Danielle; My marriage is over but we can’t tell our kids

A marriage is over but they can't tell the kids, and a green-eyed lover rears their jealous head. The Weekly's Danielle Colley answers your problems.
Ask Danielle; My marriage is over but we can't tell our kids

Dear Danielle,

My boyfriend of a couple of years is friends mostly with women. I generally don’t mind him spending evenings that we’re not together socialising in bars or dinners with his female friends as I trust him implicitly.

The issue is his ex-girlfriend has come back to town and they have begun to hang out together. I’m trying to be evolved about it, because I hate jealousy but I’m finding myself feeling irate when they casually hang out together and have regular drinks.

He has never introduced me to her, and I wonder if he is hiding something, or should I just get over it? The childish part of me wants to demand he doesn’t spend time with her but I know that’s not the best way to handle this without looking like a psycho.

From, Green-Eyed.

Dear Green-Eyed,

Current partner’s exes can pose a bit of a problem. We often feel a sense of insecurity about them even though they are a thing of the past. For the most part, it’s because they are a mystery to us and we know at one time they were the significant person in our partner’s life.

It sounds to me like your man is going about this all the wrong way. You’re right when you say demanding he ends the friendship is not the way to go because you’ll look like a jealous brat and that is very unattractive in a person.

If you trust him implicitly yet you still feel funny about their friendship, perhaps it’s her you don’t trust. You need to demystify this woman in order to help you see that you are the one he wants, and they are just friends.

I suggest you speak to him honestly about your feelings of insecurity. What I would suggest and it may be super awkward at first, is you all go out together and you meet this woman.

If he is understanding and considerate of your feelings, and organises a night out, then you have nothing to worry about. If he ignores your feelings, or refuses the meeting then you have a few things to worry about.

Dear Danielle,

My marriage has been a sham for the past two years. We have barely been communicating except for thing children related and I have been sleeping with one of the kids in order to not share a bed.

My husband and I have decided to separate, but with three children under eight we have decided it would be better to continue living in the same house.

I cannot imagine either of us being separated from the children so I see no other alternative for us.

The children do not know we have decided to separate, and I don’t know if telling them is the right thing to do and they are so young.

What should I do?

From, Sharehouse Blues

Dear Sharehouse Blues,

This is a really complex problem because you’re trying to deal with your own sorrow and grief at the end of your marriage whilst shielding it from your kids.

Here’s the thing, kids are way more resilient than you could ever imagine and this living situation is going to kill your joy.

I’m sure there are some highly evolved individuals in the world that can co-habit with their ex-spouse and co-parent in a loving and harmonious environment, however it is incredibly hard for you to move on with your life and process your feelings with the person right there under your roof.

What about the possibility of meeting someone else in time and getting on with living your life and being the loving individual you were born to be?

By the sounds of things you don’t actually have a spare room for either of you to live in and fully set up your own space, so I feel that long term this will not be emotionally healthy for anyone in the house.

You may think that your kids don’t know, and maybe they don’t but you are also not really modelling the type of relationship that they should be looking for as they grown into adults and form pair bonds of their own.

Best of luck, because I know how scary separation is but I promise it will get better.

Danielle is not a qualified counsellor and all advice is opinion-based only, to be followed at the responsibility of the recipient.

Do you have a dilemma or conundrum you would like to ask Danielle?

Drop her a line at [email protected] and she will endeavour to help you sort your life out.

Danielle Colley

*Danielle Colley is a writer, blogger and mum. She is a regular contributor to The Weekly and other online and print publications.

You can see more of Danielle on her blog, Keeping Up With The Holsbys, or her Facebook page facebook.com/keepingupwiththeholsbys.*

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10 things to let go of to be happy

Holding on to negative habits costs more than you think. Check out these things to let go of to be happy.
10 things to let go of to be happy

Happiness is not an elusive unicorn, however we often let things stand in the way of true contentment, like focusing too heavily on what others are doing and not tending to your own garden – speaking metaphorically about your life, of course, not your bikini line.

Another habit we fall into is focusing on things we cannot change rather than appreciating the good things, and making steps to improve the not-so-great bits.

Holding on to negativity takes so much more energy than letting go, so it’s time we let go of these habits in order to live a better, happier life.

1.Let go of feeling sorry for yourself

In the face of a negative experience, it’s natural to take a moment’s pause and feel a bit sorry for yourself, but you cannot linger in this headspace because it does not serve you.

“The time-limited pity party is something we all do, and that’s ok,” tells From the Leftfield’s psychologist, Dr Sasha Lynn. “But if you hold onto that feeling of being sorry for yourself, then you’re actually doing yourself a disservice. No one is going to fix things, no one is going to make your life better. Only you are. And once you let go of feeling sorry for yourself, you can take that step forward.”

2.Let go of the need to be right

No one can be right all the time, and being right isn’t actually very important. Open and frank discussion is more important, and listening to other people’s views is crucial to happiness.

Letting go of your desire to be right and agreeing to disagree is a far easier road to joy. Also, Googling to prove your point is outstandingly annoying.

3.Let go of negative self-talk

There are enough people in the world that will try to pull you down so you need to have your own back. You are an amazing, unique creature with your own talents and strong points, and you need to high-five yourself for these instead of smack-talking in the mirror.

“Negative self-talk does absolutely nothing for us,” tells Dr Lynn. “It doesn’t make us feel better, doesn’t change our situation, doesn’t help us to move closer to where we want to be. Try replacing negative self-talk with balanced self-talk instead – taking both the good and the bad into account.”

4.Let go of resentment

Holding on to anger is detrimental to your wellbeing. It has long been speculated that holding on to bitter emotions can cause illness, but it most certainly causes heartache.

Practising forgiveness increases feelings of empathy and can reduce stress and anxiety. Holding anger and resentment is easy and letting it go can be hard, but when the reward is happiness it’s a no-brainer.

5.Let go of the idea of the perfect partner

The perfect partner is a rainbow unicorn – nothing more than a glorious fantasy. Relationships take work and everyone has good aspects and average aspects to their personality. The beauty of love is appreciating the good bits and overlooking the crappy parts of your partner that don’t float your boat.

“One question – are you perfect? No? Neither is anyone else,” says Dr Lynn. “There are going to be people that you click with and people that you don’t. The partner for you is out there, but they aren’t always going to tick all the boxes all of the time.”

6.Let go of your sense of entitlement

Heads up – the world owes you nothing. If you want something, you need to put on your Tenacious Pants and go out there, work your buttocks off and go it.

Your success will taste all the sweeter for all of the effort you have put in. Refusing to let go of your sense of entitlement will breed other things on this list that drag you down, such as jealously and resentment. These are not good attributes, mmmkay?

7.Let go of regret

The past is the past and unless you have a time machine there is not a thing you can do to change whatever has gone down before today. Regret is a negative emotion that is a waste of energy. Instead focus on how you can do things better next time and grow from the experience.

8.Let go of limiting beliefs

In some parts of the world, baby elephants are chained by the leg. They pull and pull at the chain but they cannot break free so they stop trying. As the elephant grows they don’t get a stronger chain, they only get a bigger shackle for the growing leg. Our negative beliefs are often set early, and letting go of them is not easy, but it is necessary to achieve success and happiness.

“Much like negative self-talk, limiting beliefs are a form of self-handicapping. We are doing ourselves a disservice by limiting our beliefs as to what we can do or what we can try. Failure is nothing to be fearful of. Not trying or living life to the full is though,” says Dr Lynn.

9.Let go of people who hold you back

If your nearest and dearest do not life you up and encourage you, it’s possible they’re toxic. Life is a challenge and we need to surround ourselves with people who help us on our path and put wind in our sails. If someone in your life drinks from your “love cup” more than they “fill your love cup”, it might be time to let them go.

10.Let go of jealousy

Life isn’t about having what we want it’s about wanting what we have.

“Being jealous of others, or being jealous that you don’t have something, someone etc only serves to hold you back,” says Dr Lynn. “There’s always going to be someone out there who is bigger/better/stronger/faster/richer.”

The sooner we let go of jealousy, hold onto our own self-pride, and find happiness in what is in our own backyard, the happier we will be.

Danielle Colley

Danielle Colley is a writer, blogger, mum and ice cream afficionado. She is a regular contributor to The Weekly and other online and print publications.

You can see more of Danielle on her blog, Keeping Up With The Holsbys, or her Facebook page facebook.com/keepingupwiththeholsbys.

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Battle of the great reads!

Four excellent books are fighting it out for the ABIA Literary Fiction Book of the Year Awards – we review them all here.

Literary Fiction is one of our favourite genres and set to be one of the most hotly contested categories at the Australian Book Industry Awards this week.

Here, we review all four shortlisted books to help you decide which order to read them in!

The Natural Way of Things (Charlotte Wood, Allen & Unwin, Allen & Unwin)

Charlotte Wood’s astonishing new novel opens with a chilling scene: two women wake from a drugged sleep to find themselves imprisoned in the desert.

They have no idea why they have been taken, who their captors are or what their intention might be. Soon there are joined by eight other women, and when heads have been shaved and strange uniforms donned, they are chained together and forced by guards to toil under a hot Australian sun.

As the days pass, the women learn about each other and what binds them to their su¬ffering, as well as share their hopes for rescue.

Only rescue doesn’t come, and when food begins to run low, it becomes apparent that the only rescue will be the one they can forge themselves.

The Natural Way of Things is a rattling good read and a stinging indictment of contemporary misogyny.

The Other Side of the World (Stephanie Bishop, Hachette, Hachette Australia)

Aside from its achingly haunting prose, this is a novel that will resonate with any migrant who has battled the pain of homesickness.

It floods over you like a wave, an unstoppable and often destructive force that can neither be rationalised nor controlled.

“The Other Side Of The World was inspired by the migrations of my grandparents, who moved to Australia as Ten Pound Poms in the 1960s,” author Stephanie Bishop tells The Weekly.

Stephanie herself felt her grandparents’ sense of displacement when she moved to Cambridge in the UK to go to university and has imbibed central character Charlotte with these emotions.

“I never understood the cost of migration until I moved to England and then back to Australia,” she says. “It was when my own life started to repeat key experiences from the lives of my grandparents that the novel really came alive. Looking back, I can see that I used Charlotte to think through my own experience of homesick and restlessness.”

It is 1963 and Charlotte is a new mother with a second baby on the way, living in the damp English countryside. She should be drunk with the joys of motherhood. Instead, she is tired, weepy and desperately unsettled.

There’s no time to work – Charlotte is a painter – and no energy to make plans to¬ fix things. Her favourite moment of the day is when, early in the morning, she walks through the fields around her house, husband Henry and little Lucie rugged up against the cold, Charlotte the only one happily embracing the weather.

Henry is an Anglo-Indian university professor with a hatred of England’s weather who wants to move his family to Australia.

He has read the adverts about a promised land and thinks this could be the solution to their rut. Charlotte is exhausted and before she knows it, she’s given birth for a second time and is on her way to a new life she never wanted.

What happens next is at once engrossing and shocking in a literary tour de force, as passions take over in the heat of the Perth summer and a marriage unravels.

Will Charlotte and Henry make it or has this move displaced them forever?

The Secret Chord (Geraldine Brooks, Hachette, Hachette Australia)

It took Geraldine Brooks three years to write this powerful retelling of the story of King David, during which time she immersed himself in what she calls “physical research”, literally stepping back into Biblical times.

“I travelled to the land and walked the places David is said to have walked, herded sheep in the Judean desert, rode mules, climbed the hills where he hid out from Shaul during his outlaw years. I spoke with military strategists and historians to get a fix on Second Iron Age warfare and tactics, researched early Hebrew music, wandered archaeological sites to get an accurate picture of the material culture: what did they mean by a ‘palace’? What did they eat for breakfast? What kinds of stones do you use in a sling?” the author explains.

And it is exactly this tangible feel for the minute details of this ancient world that makes The Secret Chord chime … this and the complexly drawn character of David himself.

The King is both hero and tyrant, visionary and despot, and the contradictions are tantalising. Brooks’ David is a pragmatist with a genius for warfare, and while his appetites are huge and his actions bloody and often reprehensible, his remorse, deep faith, sense of family and prodigious musical talent, plucking exquisite chords from his harp, offer compelling glimpses into a tortured soul.

“This is a man capable of great love, but also ruthless cruelty,” says Brooks. “He makes great art; he massacres innocents. He’s beloved and he’s hated. You absolutely cannot simplify him, neither to lionize nor to deplore. I think writers and theologians who have attempted to do that have robbed this story of its depth.”

Brooks’ story also gives voice to the women in this brutal world and their stories are telling. The rape of David’s only daughter by his indulged and morally bankrupt son is a scene of hideous violence, and in the retelling Brooks says she thought of Saddam Hussein’s sons, Uday and Qusay .

“They also were morally lost, immensely protected sons of a powerful ruler, free to rampage through Baghdad, raping and killing and torturing citizens with no fear of restraint or consequences.”

The whole tale is revealed through the reasoned eyes of Natan, David’s prophet and often his conscience. This device allows a watchful distance so the tales unfurl with a dramatic intelligence that feels as if we really are ¬flies on the wall of the Bible. Mesmerising.

The World Without Us (Mireille Juchau, Bloomsbury Publishing, Bloomsbury)

Australian writer Mireille Juchau weaves an irresistible, dream-like quality around her new novel. The Müller family live a secluded life on their farm in a remote, rainforest town.

Affected by a significant loss, a deep sadness hangs over each of them. Evangeline is an absent mother, wandering all day with an empty pram, while Stefan, her husband, reaches most easily for the bottle.

When an outsider, Jim, encounters Evangeline on the banks of a river, events are set in motion that will change them all.

The Australian Book Industry Awards, proudly sponsored by The Australian Women’s Weekly, will take place in Sydney on Thursday night.

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Is golden milk as good as the hype?

Golden milk has become the latest health trend to hit our shores. But is there any substance behind the orange-tinged hype?

Turmeric is being hailed as the next big super food and health and wellness experts around the globe have started adding it to everything from porridge to hot toddy.

Google trends have named it as the star ingredient for 2016 with searches soaring 56 per cent since last November.

‘Golden milk’ (or tumeric lattes) has started appearing on cafe menus around the globe. The spicy drink is made from turmeric paste or juice (giving it the distinctive golden colour) and milk (almond, cashew or coconut seem to be the most popular options). and has been touted as a healthy alternative to coffee.

But while turmeric is enjoying its moment in the spotlight there is nothing new about its super properties.

“Turmeric has been used for more than 4000 years to treat a variety of ailments,” says nutritionist Virginnia Thomas

“The active ingredient is Curcumin, which has anti-inflammatory properties so may be useful in treating conditions related to inflammation such as cardiovascular disease, arthritis, and ulcerative colitis to name a few,” she explains.

Virginnia also notes that Turmeric has anti- oxidant properties. “Something we need more and more of in today’s crazy toxic, stressful world.”

Although Turmeric root is more pungent than its dried counterpart, Virginnia notes that in terms of health benefits either option is fine.

Instragram/caamxo

However, she also notes that a lot of the health benefits require a fairly large dose of cucumin so if you are really interested in boosting your intake then a supplement might be a better option than a turmeric latte.

So does this mean that we should just skip the golden milk trend? Well that may depend on how much you like it.

Virginnia notes that adding coconut milk in golden milk helps the body to absorb the cucumin content. However, she also warns that as a drink it is quite “calorie dense.”

“If you like it then you should keep enjoying it for what it is,” she says.

“But I’d rather get my turmeric from a great curry.”

You may also like: Was the OJ Simpsons ‘not guilty’ verdict fair?

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Married At First Sight’s Christie: We’re making long distance work

From the farm to fashion week – things have certainly changed for Christie Jordee since Married At First Sight stopped filming.
Married At First Sight’s Christie: We’re making long distance work

But the star tells Woman’s Day one thing has remained the same – her bond with partner Mark Hughes.

Speaking at the Steven Khalil show in Sydney on Tuesday night, the reality star admitted that long distance was tough however the pair are determined to make it work.

“I’m back from the farm! [It’s a] massive difference farm feeding calves to now sitting here,” the DJ-turned-business-owner explained.

With Mark based on a farm in remote Victoria and Christie running her cleaning business from Sydney, long distance was always the pair’s biggest challenge on the controversial dating show.

“It’s hard, it’s difficult. My business is lacking a little bit so I’ve told him he needs to get his butt up here now,” Christie said, hinting that perhaps a move is on the cards for the gentle-natured country bloke.

As for whether we can expect any baby news soon following fevered speculation in April that she may be with child, Christie expertly avoided the question by letting out a big giggle.

Last month, the unlikely lovers, along with Erin and Bryce, became the poster couple of the show after deciding they wanted to give their romance a red-hot go.

During the dramatic finale, Mark admitted he was nervous about what to do with their opposing lifestyles but their connection is what matters most.

“I think you’re awesome and we work perfectly together. Obviously we come from two different worlds, two different lifestyles. I feel like I have to give up my life in order for us to be together.

You are an amazing person but I can’t let you go either,” Mark said at the time.

Although they’re yet to figure out the geographical specifics Christie said the most important thing is that he makes her laugh.

“I think I am falling in love! From the moment I saw him I wasn’t too sure. He makes me laugh so much. I’m always happy when I’m around him,” she mused, proving sometimes a relationship can be a slow-burner,” she mused during the show’s last episode.

This story originally appeared on Woman’s Day.

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Remember Kelly McGillis from Top Gun? You won’t recognise her now

Who could forget Maverick’s leading lady? She looks a whole lot different now!

It’s been 30 years since the epic film Top Gun was released, but while you’d still recognise Tom Cruise anywhere, his leading lady is flying much more under the radar.

In fact, you’d probably barely recognise her!

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Kelly McGillis played the flight instructor in the 1986 hit flick who fell in love with cheeky fighter pilot Maverick.

While Cruise was catapulted to super stardom, McGillis has lived a much more low-key life.

The now 58-year-old has ditched the blonde curly locks and embraces her natural shade. After Top Gun, she appeared in dozens of TV shows and movies through the ‘90s but took a break for a few years.

It was then she started doing plays in the theatre. She was married twice and has two daughters Kelsey and Sonora, and in 2009, she announced she was a lesbian.

Kelly now

The next year Kelly went into a civil union with Melanie Leis but they broke up a year later.

She later admitted to have struggled with drugs and alcohol for a time before getting sober.

Kelly now teaches acting at The New York Studio for Stage and Screen in North Carolina, US.

VIDEO: Watch Kelly and Tom on Top Gun

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Prince William looking at schools for George and Charlotte

It is no surprise the future King is already on the hunt for the perfect school for the kingdom’s cheekiest Prince and sweet little Princess.
Prince William looking at schools for George and Charlotte

On Tuesday The Duke of Cambridge embarked on a moving visit to the Royal Marsden Hospital in London in his capacity as president.

It was there the father-of-two candidly chatted about his precious poppets with cancer patient Kathryn England.

“He said they were fine. He said his household is very noisy at the moment. He said he was looking at schools – I suppose for George he would be,” she recalled of her meeting with the 33-year-old.

George is expected to start school in September 2017.

George, who turns three in July, is currently attending the local Westacre Montessori nursery in Norfolk, just a short drive from his family’s country mansion Anmer Hall, which is located on the Queen’s Sandringham Estate.

While the young royal family live away from their London base, Kensington Palace, there is no word on whether the children will continue their education in Norfolk or London.

If they choose to follow in their father’s footsteps, then George may become a pupil at London’s elite pre-preparatory Wetherby School.

No matter where Catherine and William decide to send their little ones, the kids will have fabulous role models in their parents.

Watch a young Prince William show little bro Prince Harry the ropes at school. Post continues…

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The Prince followed in his mother Princess Diana’s footsteps in becoming the president of Royal Marsden Hospital back in 2007, a role the late royal held onto from 1989 until her untimely passing in 1997.

Diana’s eldest joined Ralph Lauren and his wife, Ricky Anne Loew-Beer, to take a tour of the new breast cancer research centre that has been named after the designer following his generous donation.

The American fashion icon explained his decision for his hefty donation.

William told breast cancer patient Kathryn England (left) that he was looking at schools for George.

A good friend of mine in America had breast cancer. She said I haven’t got any support from anyone and I said ‘I’m going to help you’.”

“She didn’t make it but I got hooked into really feeling very strongly about breast cancer. I have a daughter and a wife and it’s a family situation. Your mother might have it or your sister might have it but the family goes through it so it involves everybody.”

Ralph and Wills visited the laboratories and met members of the research and clinical teams.

Showing off his funny side, the designer joked about his tour with the royal.

“He goes wherever I go, I go wherever he goes, I follow him.”

This post originally appeared on Woman’s Day.

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Woman rushed to hospital with nurse shark clinging to her arm

A Florida woman’s summer swim turned into a scene from jaws when she left the beach with a shark still attached to her arm.
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A 23-year-old woman, who wishes for her name to remain unknown, was rushed to Boca Raton Regional Hospital on Sunday after being bitten by a 2-foot-long [about 60cm] nurse in the shallow waters.

The mini-Jaws allegedly latched onto her right forearm after being spooked by snorkellers in the area. It is unclear whether the woman and her friends provoked the creature before it lashed out.

Boca Raton’s rescue team told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel that the 23-year-old remained calm throughout the ordeal, despite the fact that the jawed-fish wouldn’t let go of her.

“The shark wouldn’t give up,” said onlooker Shlomo Jacob.

“It was barely breathing but it wasn’t letting go of her arm, like it was stuck to her or something.”

The woman, although flustered by this point having become one with a shark for an hour, was transported to Boca Raton Regional Hospital in stable condition.

The stuff of nightmares!

Alex Smoake, a friend to the woman updated People on the situation following the incident.

From the hospital, he shared a photo of her surrounded by the friends present. Finally separated from the shark’s toothy grip, she smiled up at the camera still clutching the shark that she fondly named ‘Greg’.

Poor Greg didn’t survive the ordeal having spent too much time out of the water, so Alex and his friends buried the creature at the local pet cemetery.

The friends gave Greg a proper send off.

Nurse sharks can grow up to 14-feet long and are known to be bottom-dwellers that rarely harm humans unless provoked.

Although an eyewitness from the beach claims that the woman and her friends were “holding the shark by its tail” and “messing with it”, Alex denies the claims, saying that “some kids scared the shark. It went one direction and when it turned it latched onto her arm.”

“We’re not going to try and do anything to a shark,” he says.

We feel like this right about now…

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Brynne Edelsten makes her first appearance since Shane Warne fiasco

Another failed fling isn’t going to stop Brynne Edelsten from enjoying a night on the town.
Brynne Edelsten

The 33-year-old put her best assets forward as she dressed to the nines for a Melbourne soiree.

Turning heads at the Confidential party held at Bond Bar, the socialite donned a barely-there frock that showcased her ample cleavage and a G-String covered derriere.

Looking good, Brynne!

Since the demise of her marriage to businessman Geoffrey Edelsten, Brynne has lost around 15-kilograms and completely overhauled her life.

Last year, Brynne told us she lost the weight by eliminating sugary drinks and sticking to a strict exercise regime, which includes working out five days a week.

“It’s given me more confidence, but beyond just the way it looks,” she mused at the time.

Now and then! Brynne, pictured at Tuesday’s event on the left and a few years ago on the right, has lost around 15-kilograms.

The star says her new-found shape is thanks to working out and ditching sugary drinks.

Despite the recent Shane Warne “nightcap” fiasco, the reality star was in great spirits at the event.

The cricket champ was infamously snapped arriving at her home for a cheeky drink in the early hours of Thursday morning last week.

Relive the drama in the video player below! Post continues…

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Furious at being found out, the 46-year-old dad-of-three went into damage control, taking to Twitter to accuse the blonde of tipping off the paparazzi. “Some people never cease to amaze me. Listen to this one,” he wrote.

“After a fun night raising money for breast cancer in Geelong last night, me & a few friends plus Brynne Edelsten went out for a couple of drinks.”

“Brynne invited me back to her place around 1am for a nightcap, when I arrived, paparazzi were conveniently waiting outside her home to get the pic, coincidence? I left instantly and thought how sad is that!”

But Brynne tells a different story. Retaliating to Shane’s post, she immediately released a string of messages between the pair, proving Shane was yearning for more than just a nightcap.

“Leaving now! You safe? Excited for me to devour u? X,” wrote Warnie in the wee hours of Thursday (below, Shane is the white Brynne is the blue).

Hitting back, Brynne told Woman’s Day, “It’s sad that Shane has chosen to respond in this fashion. I used to have a huge crush on him and told him at the charity event in Geelong. He replied, ‘You did, or you still do?’ before grabbing my bum. That surprised me a bit, but he’d had a bit to drink by that stage.”

Brynne became a household name after marrying Dr Geoffrey Edelsten in 2009.

She has since spoke to Kyle and Jackie O about the drama.

“I’m glad he likes himself so much, but you know what, honestly, not something to really brag about,” she told the KIIS FM stars.

Adding, “[It’s] not my proudest moment and definitely not something I’d set up.”

“I actually used to have a big crush on Shane,” she confessed.

“And that went down the drain really quick after all this. I definitely have nothing close to crush on him now!”

Brynne has become so confident since her body overhaul.

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Can you see why people are so confused by this brick wall?

Once you see it, you'll never un-see it!

This brick wall looks normal, right?

Just you wait – this is the new ‘white and gold/black and blue dress’ photo.

If you look close enough (or have a quick glance at it again in half an hour), you’ll see that’s it’s not a grey stone wedged between two bricks but it’s actually a Cuban cigar sticking directly out from the wall.

Have you spotted it yet? Once you see it you will never un-see it!

Here are a few more tricky illusions, like this baffling video posted by Twitter user Marc Blank-Settle.

It read the caption “My toddler’s train track is freaking me out right now. What is going on here?!”

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He placed two pieces of a train track next to each other – both of which were clearly different sizes – but when he placed the longer one on top, they are exactly the same size.

Mind-blowing!

Another unexplained video is of Kevin Parry filming himself in front of a mirror and bouncing a ball… to himself!?

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Some Vine users are claiming it’s the work of tricky editing software, but regardless, it’s pretty cool!

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