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Why I wish every funeral was my son’s

Nine years after Matthew Leveson was murdered, his mum still spends her weekends searching for his remains.
Matthew Leveson

Matthew was last seen leaving a Sydney nightclub in September 2007. He was accompanied by his then 40-year-old partner.

In the nine years since his disappearance, Matthew Leveson’s family have been experiencing a “living hell.”

Matthew, 20, was last seen leaving a Sydney nightclub in the early hours of September 23, 2007. He was accompanied by his partner, then 40-year-old Michael Atkins.

Ten hours later, Atkins was captured on CCTV buying a garden mattock and gaffer tape from Bunnings Warehouse. But when questioned by police he denied being there.

Later that week Matthew’s car was found at Waratah Oval in Sutherland. Inside, police found a Bunnings receipt for a garden mattock and gaffer tape, Atkins’ fingerprints were all over it.

Even without Matthew’s body, the circumstantial evidence was compelling. Atkins was charged with murder. But during the 2009 Supreme Court trial Atkins exercised his right to silence and he was acquitted – but that silence is about to be broken.

Last week the NSW Coroner’s Court ruled that Atkins will take the stand at Matthew’s inquest. Deputy State Coroner Elaine Truscott told the SMH that her findings would be unsatisfied if Atkins did not give evidence.

She said that Atkins had not given a full account of what he knows and was likely to be able to give “Important evidence about the manner and cause of Matthew’s death.”

The ground-breaking decision means that Atkins will endure five days of questioning under oath, effectively ending the silence that he has maintained since Matthew’s disappearance.

For Matthew’s family the lack of a criminal conviction has always been hard to swallow. But beyond the injustice of the situation, what they want most is to bring their son home and have the chance to say goodbye.

Speaking to aww.com.au, Matthew’s mother Faye Leveson said that despite the long passage of time they haven’t given up. In fact, since the police exhausted their investigation, the family have taken the search for Matthew’s body into their own hands.

“We go out into the national park ourselves and go to different places to see if we can find him,” explains Faye.

“We just want to find him and lay him to rest before we pass on.”

Faye says that whenever human remains are found within their search area they feel a surge of optimism. “Your heart just stops and you hold your breath and pray and hope.”

“There was one a couple of years ago that we thought could have been Matt. It was ticking all the boxes. But this person had had extensive dental work and Matt didn’t even have a filling – so it wasn’t him,” Faye recalls.

“But for that short time we thought it could be him.”

Living with the mystery of Matthew’s death is a daily challenge for the family.

“Every day you’ll hear a song or smell a smell and it reminds you of Matt and you think ‘where are you mate?’,” says Faye.

While the Levesons are grieving, they can’t say goodbye to their son until his body is found.

“We can’t have a funeral or say our goodbyes. That’s the hardest thing, we want to bring him home,” says Faye.

This is particularly difficult when the Levesons attend a funeral. “I find myself thinking ‘I wish it was Matt, I wish we could we could say goodbye to Matt.”

The news Atkins will be forced to speak is good news, but it does come with conditions. In accordance with s61 of the Coroner’s act, Atkins may provide his evidence under the protection of immunity, meaning that it can’t be used in any future criminal trial.

Speaking outside the courtroom Matthew’s father Mark told the media that the “system” had forced them to make a choice between getting a criminal conviction or finding Matthew’s remains.

“We’ve always said from the start that we want to bring Matt home,” he said.

“The main objective is to bring Matt home,” added Faye. “To say our goodbyes and to lay him to rest.”

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The actress with Down syndrome wowing Hollywood – and she’s coming to Australia

Best known for her incredible role in American Horror Story, Jamie Brewer is going from strength to strength – and inspiring people worldwide.

Jamie Brewer is best known to Australian audiences for her breakout role in the Golden Globe and Emmy award-winning TV series American Horror Story. In it, the 31-year-old actress from California plays Adelaide ‘Addie’ Langdon, the daughter of Jessica Lange’s terrifying Constance.

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But Jamie Brewer is not just another starlet out of the cookie-cutter Hollywood dream factory. Talented and tenacious, what makes Jamie’s success in a notoriously difficult industry even more incredible is that she has Down syndrome.

The in-demand actress has gone on to star in US series Raymond & Jane and Switched at Birth.

In 2015 Jamie was also the first model with Down syndrome to walk at New York Fashion Week.

“We’re on the back foot in terms of inclusion and diversity in film making in Australia,” says Genevieve Clay-Smith, founder of Bus Stop Films and the 2015 AWW Qantas Women of the Future competition winner. Genevieve is hoping that bringing Jamie to Australia to work on a Bus Stop project being made by 11 of her students will go a long way towards changing that.

“Jamie is a great source of inspiration,” says Genevieve, who’s not-for –profit Bus Stop Films teaches special needs students film-making. “We asked her to be in our film and meet the students and she agreed.”

Jamie (middle) in American Horror Story: Coven

Genevieve first met Jamie last year while in Los Angeles for a film festival, and knew straight away Jamie would be perfect for her dance film, Kill Off. Getting Jamie on board would also raise awareness about the hot-button issue of inclusiveness in film making.

During her stay, Jamie will be speaking about diversity and inclusiveness at Australian industry events. “We are getting important conversations started,” says Genevieve.

Genevieve is hopeful having a high-profile actress such as Jamie in a Bus Stop production will open doors for her company and her students on an international level. “We are setting our sights high,” the 27-year-old admits.

“Bus Stop’s films have screened at the UN. Hopefully we will get Kill Off into film festivals around the world, to show that people with disabilities get meaningful roles in front of the camera, as well as behind-the- scenes.”

The plan is for Kill Off to hit the big screen in September, and Genevieve is planning a gala premiere at a stand-out venue, complete with red carpet and a media wall.

“I can’t take all my students to Hollywood, but I can bring Hollywood to my students,” laughs Genevieve.

Could you be one of the next Women of The Future? Complete your entry for The Australian Women’s Weekly Qantas Women of the Future award now!

Entries for The Australian Women’s Weekly Qantas Women of the Future awards close at 5pm on May 31, 2016. The winners will be announced in Sydney on August 31, 2016.

WATCH: Jamie discusses her role in the hit show American Horror Story

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Little Sophie Delezio is all grown up

In 2003, she was trapped under a burning car that had ploughed into her daycare. Three years later she was hit by a car at a pedestrian crossing.
Sophie Delezio

Today, Sophie Delezio is a resilient, happy and passionate 15-year-old.

It’s hard to believe it’s been 13 years since the whole country held their breath when hearing of the tragic news that a car had ploughed into a daycare centre, with two-year-old Sophie Delezio trapped underneath the burning vehicle.

**Watch the incredible young woman on The Morning Show. Post continues…*

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She suffered horrific injuries, including burns to 85 per cent of her body, the loss of both feet, one hand and one ear.

Australia watched as she kept fighting but in 2006, another tragedy struck the family.

Sophie was hit by a car at a pedestrian crossing, and thrown 18m. This time she suffered a broken jaw and collarbone, nine broken ribs, punctured lungs, two fractured vertebrae and a brain injury.

Defying the odds, she continued her recovery. Young Sophie is now 15 years old and more beautiful than ever!

Her injuries aren’t getting in the way of her dream of becoming a Paralympian. She hopes to represent Australia in 2020 for rowing.

The brave little girl survived such an ordeal…

And today is a beacon of hope!

Sophie’s mum, Carolyn Martin, is constantly amazed at Sophie’s strong will and determination.

Speaking to The Morning Show, she said, “On one level it’s very normal in terms of living life. Sophie just gets on with it just like any other child, she just has more time and planning involved.”

“One of her great strengths is that she gives it a go. We facilitate that as parents to give her the best opportunities to achieve her dreams.”

The sweet tot with the Wiggles

Sophie has always been humbled at the support she’s been given over 13 years – by family and even strangers.

“I now only have one operation a year and go to hospital 15-20 times a year, sometimes even less.”

“It is weird to look back when I used to go every second day,” she quipped.

Today, the Delezio family are continuing their work with their Day of Difference foundation.

Sophie captured hearts around the nation with sheer bravery.

Created in 2004, it’s aimed at raising much-needed funds for equipment that will help reduce children’s injuries and the impact of children’s life-changing injuries on families in Australia.

This comes as Carolyn says more kids are killed by accidents than anything else (even medical issues), up to the age of 15.

Bravo Sophie, for being such a strong little go-getter and continuing to inspire us all.

This story originally appeared on Australian Women’s Weekly

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The only 10 ingredients you need to feed your family this week

The most versatile foods you’ll find at the supermarket.
Woman at supermarket

If you’re tired of mad-dash supermarket runs that still seem to result in the same dinner day in, day out, it’s time to shop smart. Pick up these 10 multi-purpose buys and we promise they’ll inspire you to try something new. Added bonus: all of them are affordable and easy-to-use.

Bananas

A great energy-boosting snack, bananas are the go-to ingredient for so many kid-friendly desserts. Banana bread is an obvious winner, but chocolate-dipped banana sticks will always go down well whether it’s Halloween or not. Bananas also make the perfect topping for dessert crepes, pizzas and sweet wraps. And you can use any leftovers for banana smoothies, of course.

Rice

If rice isn’t in your pantry, stock up. The perfect side to just about any dinner, it can also be the hero of a dish. Try making some rice cakes for dinner (or lunch the next day), adding it to salad to make it more filling for the family or whip up a delicious rice pudding – a great winter-warmer dessert. You can even use it as the base of a savoury tart. Beats rolling out pastry!

Wraps

Wraps work at every meal time. You can fill them with scrambled eggs for a satisfying brekkie, use them to make some fruit roll ups for kids’ snack times and make your default lunch a healthy one with a classic chicken and salad wrap. At dinner time, cook up anything you can find in the fridge, wrap it up and it’ll look like a planned, well-thought-out meal. Amazing! Last, but not least, they make a great base for DIY pizzas – savoury or sweet!

Avocado

You can shop for the whole week if you select avocados with a range of ripeness. A breakfast staple – just add toast or throw it together with eggs and whatever else you have lying around – the humble avocado also makes a quick and easy pesto pasta sauce, a delicious soup and a fresh smoothie (protein powder optional) if you’re running late need breakfast-on-the-go.

Eggs

Eggs offer up so much more than a simple breakfast solution. Try making a cheesy egg slice or a spinach and egg pie for dinner. Remember, you can vary the other ingredients depending on what you can lay your hands on, too. Bacon and egg wedges are another multi-purpose meal that work for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Take your pick! And, of course, there’s the trusty omelette to fall back on.

Frozen veggies

Having veggies at your disposal around the clock is handy. And that’s the beauty of frozen veggies: they’re always there. Now, you’ll know what works best for you and your family, but if you’re stuck for ideas, opt for spinach. It’s one of those ingredients that can pad out a lot of dishes – pizza, salads, wraps, pasta, smoothies – and is (a bit) easier to hide from eagle-eyed kids than broccoli!

Beans

Beans and lentils are an excellent source of protein – and they tend to be much more reasonably priced than meat. Of course, they’re super versatile, too. Chuck them in with some tomatoes for a yummy baked bean pot or create a stuffed mushroom with them. Make the most of hearty stew and slow-cooker season and go for a veggie chimichurri, a bean stew or spice up a simple soup.

Cheese

Cheese features in heaps of quick and easy dishes as it’s a simple (and cheap) way of adding flavour. Use it to create mac ‘n’ cheese with a spin, to make some delicious fritters and pizza scrolls that the kids will love. If you’re more of a cheese than a chocolate family, then you might want to snap up a few different options and whip up a four-cheese pasta bake too.

Lemon

It might not always feature on your lists of essentials, but lemon helps bring lots of dishes to life – particularly if you have a sweet tooth. Use it to make a baked lemon, ricotta and hummus dip to have around the house as a snack or make some dairy-free lemon cupcakes, lemon biscuits or super-fast lemon mug cakes for treat time. It also makes a good salad dressing if you’re all out.

Chicken

As well as the obvious uses – pizza topping, taco middle, wrap filling – chicken is a good go-to at this time of year for heartier winter meals. Use it in a batch of chicken soup for nights when you don’t want to cook (or the family get sick), make some crumbed chicken dippers, homemade chicken burgers or add it in with your frozen veggies and create a chicken pot pie.

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The Queen admits to needing tech help from her grandchildren

She may be the Queen of England, but even Britain’s longest-reigning monarch occasionally tries to zoom in on Instagram.
Queen Elizabeth II

Her majesty the Queen is known for being quite the modern day monarch, but on Thursday Queen Elizabeth II admitted to needing technology help from her nearest and dearest.

Speaking to Barbara Wilkins, a guest at a garden party in Buckingham Palace who happens to run eight pre-schools, the 90-year-old confessed to her technology troubles, and said that she relies on her grandchildren’s help in using her computer, but hates it when they spend too much time in front of the screen.

The monarch admits that she asks her family for tech help.

“The Queen was talking to me about young children and asked me if they had changed a lot,” said Barbara, 82.

“I said they are all digital these days and I said that instead of sitting at the dining room table having conversations like I did with my children they are all sitting on the settee with their teas on their knees watching television.”

And the Queen agreed. Sharing the sentiment, “She said her grandchildren did things for her digitally but she didn’t like them to be on their phones and computers all the time. She says they need social skills. She was like any other grandmother really.”

“She didn’t say exactly what her grandchildren did for her but she said she gets them to help her out and to do things for her.”

Can’t you just picture it now? Duchess Catherine teaching her grandmother in-law to send an email, or even little George showing his “Gan Gan” how to play Angry Birds!

Wills and Harry are happy to help their grandmother with her phone woes!

Prince Andrew, The Duke of York, gave his mother her first phone in 2001, but as mobile technology has developed dramatically since then, it is understood that both Prince Harry and Prince William have been summoned at one point or another by her majesty to teach her how to send and receive text messages.

We’ll leave you with that sweet image!

At a typical royal garden party, around 27,000 cups of tea, 20,000 sandwiches and 20,000 slices of cake are consumed.

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My biggest parenting regret

She thought it was a parenting win, but it soon turned into her biggest regret.

As soon as I saw the day-of-the-week undies I knew that my four-year-old daughter would love them.

They were adorable, each pair had a different baby animal under the day of the week and they were trimmed with silver ribbon. To be honest, I wished that they came in my size too.

I clicked ‘add to basket’ and basked in the glow of future adoration.

The undies arrived (along with an assortment of other bits and pieces) and my little one took great pleasure in helping me pull open the box.

“These are for you” I said grinning manically as I handed her the packet.

She squealed and hugged the undies to her chest.

Yes! A parenting win! Who knew that something as simple as new undies could bring so much pleasure?

But while the cute baby animal day-of-the-week undies have continued to bring my daughter happiness they have brought me nothing but misery.

The trouble with day of the week undies is that you have to wear the right pair on the right day. And if you don’t? The consequences will be severe. Life as we know it will be over. The world will end. The universe will implode.

At least, that’s the way my daughter sees it.

If I can’t find the right pair on the right day she loses her mind. There is foot stamping, crying and rage.

One morning she was so devastated that I couldn’t find ‘Tuesday’ that I grabbed a texta and wrote ‘Tuesday’ on another pair.

It’s really not an ideal way to begin the day.

I know it’s a first world problem. I know I should probably just be more organised with the laundry or use it as a ‘teaching moment’; “you won’t always get your own way. Sometimes you just have to be ok with wearing ‘Friday’ on Wednesday. That’s life”

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my six-and-a-bit years of parenting. But number one on my list of regrets is buying those bloody day-of-the week undies.

I asked other parents to tell me their parenting regrets to see if others shared my underwear related remorse.

Turns out I am not alone.

Pip says that she regrets introducing her kids to Frozen [insert ‘let it go’ reference here].

Nicola regrets buying her kids a karaoke machine.

Tegan says that she regrets teaching her kid the time. “Now he knows when I am trying to put him to bed early,” she says.

Steph regrets sending all four of her children to music lessons. Ouch.

It’s good to know that I’m not the only mother who is harboring deep (albeit ‘first world) regret over a parenting decision.

At least we know that it’s just a phase. Pip’s kids will get bored of Frozen, Steph’s kids might form a band, and sooner or later my darling girl will grow out of the day-of-the-week undies.

You may also like: Jamie Brewer talks American Horror Story

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Kate Hudson reveals the secret to her rockin’ body

The bikini-clad blonde shares her secrets to a toned, taught physique.
Kate Hudson

There’s no doubt about it, Kate doesn’t look at a day over 25!

With her glowing skin and long blonde locks, the A-lister could fool anyone into thinking she was back in the Fools Gold era.

But the mother-of-two believes her youth comes from somewhere else, and at age 37, she has her workout regime to thank her for her 20-something physique.

Kate alongside co-star Matthew McConaughey in the 2008 film, Fools Gold.

Speaking to Shape magazine as their June cover girl, the blonde beauty revealed that of all the vast forms of exercise, she finds that Pilates gives her body the best result.

“I was 19 when I discovered Pilates, and I’m still doing it,” she said.

“It’s the workout my body really responds to. It’s all about alignment, elongating your spine and strengthening your core. It makes me feel my strongest. Pilates is always challenging. The advanced moves are amazing, but so hard.”

Go behind the scenes of the stars stunning cover shoot in the video player below! Post continues…

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Speaking of how she motivates herself to work out despite an incredibly demanding schedule, the Bride Wars star confessed that her mood is largely responsible for determining type of workout performed.

“When I exercise, I need to connect to myself and see how I’m feeling at the moment, because my mood is constantly changing.

“Sometimes I just need to do aggressive routines, like boxing. Some people need structure and a regimen, but I’m not a planner.”

On the days she is unable to hit the gym due to her unique lifestyle, Kate consults a curated selection of health and fitness apps to help her stay on track.

“There’s Hot5, which I love because each workout is only 5 minutes long. When I’m in a hotel room and feeling jet-lagged, I can do one or two and it really gets me going.”

“I also like Sworkit. You can do it anywhere, even in the smallest space, and break a good sweat in just 15 to 20 minutes.”

Kate pictured at the 2016 Vanity Fair Oscars after-party.

But don’t be fooled by the vigorous work out regime, Kate is all about balance, particularly when it comes to her love for food.

“I absolutely believe in enjoying my food, especially when I travel. I don’t eat a lot of meat when I’m home, but I can’t be in Germany and not eat the bratwurst. I just love it so much.”

“I don’t really do diets. I know food, I’ve learned about food. When I start to see myself slipping a little bit and you can see it, I go back to my protein shakes and my salads and it makes me feel better!”

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How to lose weight the sensible way

If you’re thinking of going on a new diet you might want to read this first.
How to lose weight the sensible way

Want to lose a few kilos? You’re not alone. As many as 72 per cent of Australian women think they need to shed a little weight.

We know that in reality, some of these women probably don’t need to lose weight. But the nevertheless, the market is flooded with dieting books, plans and on-line programs all promising to help.

So how do you know which option is best for you?

We spoke to Simone Austin, Accredited Practising Dietitian and Spokesperson for the Dietitians Association of Australia to find out how to lose weight the sensible way.

Have a positive attitude to food

Simone says that it’s important to start with a healthy attitude to food.

“Don’t set up too many rules and regulations,” she tells us.

Simone notes that it’s not realistic to cut treats such as lollies or chocolate out of your diet altogether. “Those rules just don’t work, and they’re not necessary,” she says.

Instead, Simone says that it’s better to identify the triggers and cues that make us reach for those types of foods in the first place. “Is it when you get stressed? Is it when you get tired, is it because you’re disorganised?” she asks.

Be honest with yourself

Simone says that it’s really important for us to be honest with ourselves about what we eat.

“Sometimes we look at our breakfast lunch and dinner and think we are being virtuous – but we forget about what happens in between,” she explains.

For example, Simone notes that many of us will pick at food as we are cooking dinner, finish off the kids’ leftovers or raid the work biscuit tin without really thinking about it.

Keeping a food diary can help you to identify the times that you eating more than you intend to.

“You might keep your food diary for a week and notice that there is a pattern,” says Simone.

But while food diaries can help you to see where you are tripping up, Simone doesn’t recommend using them long term.

Pay attention to portion size

Simone isn’t keen on calorie counting. She says that a better way forward is to pay close attention to portion size and ratios.

“Try and make half your meal salad or vegetables, a quarter protein and a quarter carbohydrate. This will basically calorie count it for you,” she explains.

She also suggests using your fist as a guide for protein and carb portion size. “Your fist is relative to your body size,” she notes.

Another tip is to make sure you are eating at least five serves of veggies a day. “If you get all your veggies in then there isn’t a lot of room to over -eat on other things,” says Simone.

Eat Mindfully

Simone is a huge advocate for eating mindfully. “Tune in to whether you are actually hungry or not. Many of us eat because it’s the right time of day or because we are board. Think about how hungry you are before you prepare food,” she explains.

“Be aware of what you are earing. The taste, the texture. Have a nice positive experience.”

When you start eating mindfully you might find that you start to change your eating habits. “You might be satisfied with a couple of squares of chocolate rather than a whole bar,” says Simone.

Don’t go on a diet

Simone says that her biggest weight loss tip is to avoid diets. “Don’t go on a diet – just pick a couple of things that you want to change and work on that,” she tells us.

Simone’s advice is to start with simple changes such as swapping ice cream for fruit and yogurt or nuts for biscuits. However make sure that you substitute something that is still appealing.

“Don’t swap a biscuit for celery sticks if you’re not going to enjoy them,” she says.

Get an expert to help you

If you feel like you need a bit more support with losing weight it is a good idea to ask your GP to refer you to an accredited practising dietitian.

You may also like: Sophie Delezio is all grown up

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Little Sophie Delezio is all grown up

In 2003, she was trapped under a burning car that had ploughed into her daycare. Three years later she was hit by a car at a pedestrian crossing. Today, Sophie Delezio is a resilient, happy and passionate 15-year-old.

It’s hard to believe it’s been 13 years since the whole country held their breath when hearing of the tragic news that a car had ploughed into a daycare centre, with two-year-old Sophie Delezio trapped underneath the burning vehicle.

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She suffered horrific injuries, including burns to 85 per cent of her body, the loss of both feet, one hand and one ear.

Australia watched as she kept fighting but in 2006, another tragedy struck the family.

Sophie was hit by a car at a pedestrian crossing, and thrown 18m. This time she suffered a broken jaw and collarbone, nine broken ribs, punctured lungs, two fractured vertebrae and a brain injury.

Defying the odds, she continued her recovery. Young Sophie is now 15 years old and more beautiful than ever!

Her injuries aren’t getting in the way of her dream of becoming a Paralympian. She hopes to represent Australia in 2020 for rowing.

Sophie’s mum, Carolyn Martin, is constantly amazed at Sophie’s strong will and determination.

Speaking to The Morning Show, she said: “On one level it’s very normal in terms of living life. Sophie just gets on with it just like any other child, she just has more time and planning involved.”

“One of her great strengths is that she gives it a go. We facilitate that as parents to give her the best opportunities to achieve her dreams.”

Sophie has always been humbled at the support she’s been given over 13 years – by family and even strangers.

“I now only have one operation a year and go to hospital 15-20 times a year, sometimes even less. It is weird to look back when I used to go every second day,” she says.

Today, the Delezio family are continuing their work with their Day of Difference foundation. Created in 2004, it’s aimed at raising much-needed funds for equipment that will help reduce children’s injuries and the impact of children’s life-changing injuries on families in Australia.

This comes as Carolyn says more kids are killed by accidents than anything else (even medical issues), up to the age of 15.

Bravo Sophie, for being such a strong little go-getter and continuing to inspire us all.

VIDEO: Watch Sophie talk about her bright future

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7 tips for finding more me time

Carolyn Tate shares her top tips for finding time for the most important person in your life – you.
7 tips for finding me time

Schedule, schedule, schedule

The wise and beautiful Bron Maxabella wrote this outstanding and beautiful post on finding time to blog, but you can apply it to whatever is important in your life – but make sure it’s whatever is important to YOU.

If you love a good system, you can also check out Sonia Stackhouse’s Sanity Folder.

I have instigated this in my life and it excites me beyond what is socially acceptable.

I’d like to give Sonia my firstborn as a thank you gift but she won’t take her.

In all this scheduling and organising, don’t forget it’s crucial to schedule in time for yourself.

This is new to me but I’m trying to include at least half an hour every day (which I use to exercise), plus a larger block a couple of times a week.

Put this time in – NOT in pencil – and don’t move it for anyone unless they are on fire.

What you do during this time means is entirely up to you.

For me it’s running, yoga, meditation, time out with the girls, bushwalking, and maybe the occasional (non-animated) movie on my own where I don’t have to share the popcorn or shoosh anyone.

Discipline

If you’re supposed to work three days a week, work three days a week.

If it’s 40 hours, keep your evenings and weekends free.

Sure, urgent stuff comes up but if you find it coming up week after week, you need to look at how you’re dealing with this.

Oprah may be a bit of a sanctimonious pain in the arse at times, but she was right when she said you teach people how to treat you.

If people demand too much of you and you roll over and ask them to scratch your belly, they’ll keep on coming back for more.

Stand up for yourself and your right to live a balanced life.

Get your family onside

Tell them you’re struggling if you’re struggling.

I find this very tough, which seems silly now I think about it because they love me.

I want to be all things and I want everyone I love to think I’m super.

But I’m not; I’m human.

So last week I told my husband I need more help.

He’s happy to provide it.

And my mother is happy to watch my kids sometimes too.

That’s awesome.

But they don’t know if you don’t tell them, because they’re busy dealing with their own stuff.

And, you know, probably not psychic.

Outsource

Outsource whatever you hate doing, or whatever is robbing you of time, if you can afford it.

Not everyone can, but if it’s an option, why wouldn’t you?

Exercise

It’s not a bonus or a nice-to-have, it’s required to keep you healthy.

Get outside if you can, and join a group for bonus socialisation.

Exercising not only keeps your body healthy, but it’s great for dealing with anxiety and mild depression.

I find, when I’m at my most anxious, it’s almost impossible to force myself to leave the house to go exercise, so I make deals with my brain.

I’ll go for 10 minutes and then come home if I hate it. I almost always keep going once I’m out.

JUST. SAY. NO.

To carpooling, or tuckshop, or managing the under 8s soccer team.

The world will go on. Sure, the P&C will tell you we all need to contribute if the system is going to work, but you are your first priority and sometimes it’s just not possible.

Hold on

Try to keep the big picture in the front of your mind.

Yes, there are times when life can seem incredibly overwhelming but this isn’t forever.

Sometimes you need to grit your teeth and carry on.

When things are bothering me, I like to put it to the “Will this matter in five years” test. Almost every time, the answer is no.

This story originally appeared on Champagne Cartel.

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