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Parents chronicle hilarious reasons “why my kid is crying”

With classics such as ‘I broke his cheese in half’ and ‘the neighbour’s dog isn’t outside’, Pembroke’s hilarious blog by the same name absolutely nails kid logic – or lack of it.

Anyone with a young child has experienced their fair share of tantrums. From full on blow outs at the supermarkets to screaming fits at day care, we’ve all had to live through comforting a toddler through a distressing period in their short, mostly care-free lives.

Whilst the reasons behind some of their little spats might be legitimate (you washed their favourite shirt, come on), some are downright perplexing.

Father of two, Greg Pembroke, knows this well.

He’s the man behind the internet phenomenon, ‘Why My Kid Is Crying’, which has spawned two best-selling books and a thousand laughs around the world.

With classics such as ‘I broke his cheese in half’ and ‘the neighbour’s dog isn’t outside’, Pembroke’s hilarious blog by the same name absolutely nails kid logic – or lack of it.

Someone ate all the muffins. It was him.

He asked me to put the stickers on his face. I did.

He does not want to be safe near water.

I wouldn’t buy her the “dolly” movie for Christmas.

He couldn’t have ALL the trains at the museum.

I told him he doesn’t need sunscreen when it’s raining.

He finished his chicken nuggets. I offered to get him more.

He wasn’t allowed to electrocute himself.

We took her to a Justin Bieber concert.

She wouldn’t fit through the doggy door. Note the open door right next to her.

He put himself in time out… for no reason.

He met Bill Murray.

There was a hot dog hidden in his cornbread.

She dropped a receipt we got from the gas station.

The dog was in the way while he was trying to push the chair.

He can’t find his rubber ducky.

I won’t let him eat styrofoam.

She met the President.

Greg Pembroke’s book: Reasons My Kid Is Crying.

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Mum forced to give birth in toilet after being sent home by midwife

A first-time mum who's water had broken was sent home by a midwife who said she couldn't possibly be in labour two weeks before her due date.

A first-time mum was having contractions when an inexperienced midwife sent her home – forcing her to give birth to her child in a toilet.

Sophie Holmes, 28, was allegedly told her baby couldn’t possibly be coming two weeks early because her cervix was still closed, and that she should go home and have a hot bath.

An hour after she got back home in Essex, England, she was sitting on the toilet (where she felt most comfortable).

Then she looked down to see her baby’s head. Sophie quickly stood up and caught her newborn.

“The next thing I know my baby fell out and I managed to catch it within seconds,” she said.

“I’m just grateful I saved her, but furious at the hospital.”

“I had to have my baby alone in the bathroom and it could have gone down the toilet.”

Despite the location of the birth, baby Olivia was born healthy and well.

Sophie and her partner of 10 years, Dan, have now issued a formal complaint with Southend University Hospital.

“We shudder at the thought of what could have happened if I hadn’t caught her,” Sophie said.

“My baby was born in our bathroom, which is just ridiculous.”

The hospital has apologised and are investigating the case.

Denise Townsend, associate chief nurse at Southend University Hospital, said: “We are meeting with Ms Holmes so that we can discuss the concerns she has about the care she received during and after her labour and investigate accordingly.”

Trending video: Home video shows Prince William and Prince Harry as young children

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Prince Harry’s moving tribute to Diana at AIDS Conferrence

The young royal recalled many of his mother's iconic moments as she tried to raise awareness for the HIV.
Prince Harry Princess Diana

Prince Harry has made a moving speech at the 2016 International AIDS conference where he recalled his mother’s tireless efforts to raise awareness of the disease.

He spoke of the need for everyone to remove the stigma of getting tested, just as his mother would have done.

“She started very punchy,” he said of his mother’s fight against AIDS. “She smashed the stigma around HIV on more than one occasion.”

“It had a huge impact on my life as well.”

See Prince Harry’s stirring speech urging people stamp out the stigma of HIV tests at the AIDS Conference below. Then, post continues.

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Prince Harry delivers his moving speech.

He went on to recall the powerful moment when Diana comforted a man who was dying of the horrific disease.

“When my mother held the hand of a man dying of AIDS in an East London hospital, no one would have imagined that just over a quarter of a century later treatment would exist that could see HIV-positive people live full, healthy, loving lives,” the 32-year-old Prince said.

The iconic moment when Princess Diana held the hands of a man infected with AIDS without a glove.

The royal met with many people who are trying to assist in stamping out the AIDS stigma.

“But thanks to the work of leaders in the fight against HIV – people like Nelson Mandela, Sir Elton John, the brave activists of TAG and ACT UP, people like Dr Peter Piot, and like my mother, Princess Diana – we have made huge progress.”

Just recently the young royal took an HIV test live on Facebook to show others how easy the process was.

Watch Prince Harry’s historic live Facebook video of the test below. Post continues!

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Prince Harry signed a wall dedicated to eradicating the disease with the message “Get tested! Why wouldn’t you? Harry”.

Sir Elton John joined forces with the Prince for the landmark conference.

Also in attendance for the conference was musician and renowned HIV activist Sir Elton John.

The Candle in the Wind singer recently praised Prince Harry’s efforts in raising awareness of the disease.

“Bravo Prince Harry!” he said. “Your mother would be so proud of you.”

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Man’s chilling discovery in attic

When Davis heard a rustling in the roof, he wasn’t expecting it to be THIS.
Man’s chilling discovery in attic

It’s not uncommon to hear noises that spook you in the night, but one America man heard a rustling in his roof that didn’t sound quite right.

“I hear rummaging around above me, which I know is the attic so I’m like, ‘That’s kind of weird’,” he told Komo News.

He noticed a light was on and when he went to open the door, it was locked.

So he knocked and a woman responded.

“Jimmy? Is that you, Jimmy?” the stranger replied.

“I’m like, ‘No, it’s not Jimmy. Who is this and why are you in my house?’”

“This is my house. I live here. I’ve been here for three days,” she said.

WATCH: Man’s chilling discover in attic

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He then called police – who arrived 18 minutes later – before she got away.

Mr Wahlman told Komo News he doesn’t know how the stranger managed to get into his home.

He’s now changed the locks to his house.

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Animal hall of shame

For many cat and dog owners a good way to get their own back for all those chewed shoes and phantom poos is to post a photo of their misbehaving pet on internet the with a shame sign.

For many cat and dog owners a good way to get their own back for all those chewed shoes and phantom poos is to post a photo of their misbehaving pet on internet the with a shame sign.

The name and shame pet photo craze, which usually features a cute pooch or pussy cat at the scene of their crime with a placard detailing whatever they have just done, has become so popular it even has several Tumblr and Instagram accounts dedicated to its honour.

Here we’ve picked several of our favourite furry fugitives and determined that they are cute enough to get away with any crime.

Brotherly love.

Meet the Bonnie and Clyde of the animal kingdom.

Ouch.

We can think of worse kinds of poop.

Holy moly.

Biting off more than he can chew.

Classic.

Sorry not sorry.

We feel like this guy is taking the heat for someone else here.

Now that’s just annoying.

O.O.P.S.

Bet he copped a spray for that.

Cue sugar rush.

This cat is a genius.

Chewing on electrical cords isn’t too bright.

“You know it!”

We know a few like this.

This confession is not music to our ears.

Cute but gross.

Not even sorry.

Fainting feline.

We think mummy took this.

Cheeky kitty.

Turbo’s having a blast.

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Is Chris Hemsworth the new Bond?

It couldn’t get any better than this!
Is Chris Hemsworth the new Bond?

There’s been so many stars linked to the upcoming Bond film and now our very own Chris Hemsworth has been named as a potential candidate.

Addressing the speculation in the August issue of Foxtel magazine, Chris said he’d gladly accept the role.

“I don’t know many who wouldn’t jump at that,” the father-of-three told the publication.

“Would it be scary and daunting [to play Bond]? Of course. But what isn’t?”

Meanwhile Idris Elba, another hot contender to take on the role, officially shut down claims he’ll be playing Bond.

“I mean, look, I’ve said it a million of times: It’s a great character and it’s an honour to be asked, but it is just a rumour,” he told E! News this week.

If Chris does indeed end up playing Bond, he’ll be the second Aussie to tackle the hearty role following in the footsteps of George Lazenby, who played James Bond in the 1969 film On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.

This story originally appeared on Woman’s Day.

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Police officer shoots autistic man’s carer

Charles Kinsey was shot as he attempted to bring a man with autism back to the group home from which he had wandered.
Police officer shoots autistic man’s carer

A black man in Florida has been shot by police as he tried to help his patient with autism, who had run away from the group home where he worked.

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North Miami Assistant Police Chief Neal Cuevas told The Miami Herald that officers responded to a 911 call on Monday following reports of a man threatening to shoot himself.

When officers arrived, they drew their weapons however, Charles Kinsey, the carer of the 23-year-old man, told them there was no need for firearms and tried to explain what had happened.

“I am a behaviour therapist at a group home,” he explained.

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Despite Mr. Kinsey’s attempt to defuse the situation, officers fired multiple shots, one of them striking his leg, NY Times reports.

“When I went to the ground, I’m going to the ground just like this here with my hands up, and I am laying down here just like this, and I’m telling them again, ‘Sir, there is no need for firearms. I’m unarmed, he’s an autistic guy. He got a toy truck in his hand,” he told WSVN-TV.

North Miami Police have not released the officer’s name, but an investigation into the incident continues.

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Prince George turns three!

To celebrate his big day, his proud mum and dad have released four new photos - and they are just DIVINE!

Happy birthday to the most gorgeous little Royal, Prince George!

And what a year he’s had – from starting school to meeting President Obama, there’s no stopping the little Prince and to celebrate his big day, his proud mum and dad have released four new photos – and they are just DIVINE!

Here are five things you mightn’t have known about the third-in-line to the British throne:

1 He loves painting, George’s mother Kate revealed while talking to artists and students at an engagement in February. The Duchess has a degree in Art History, so the artistic bent runs in the family.

2 At eight months, George received his first marriage proposal, in Australia, when 10-month-old Grace Farrelly wore a “marry me George” T-shirt and paraded it in the front row in Brisbane.

3 Prince George received 523 gifts on his Australian visit last year, including a possum skin cloak and a customised surfboard.

4 In his first year, George proved quite a handful. Prince William said he was “a little bit of a rascal” who wriggles around “quite a lot” and wakes up at 3am with “a lion’s roar.”

5 Prince George’s Christmas gift from Santa was a smart wooden train set, which he now may have to share with his sister, Princess Charlotte.

Gorgeous George the birthday boy!

He’s grown up so much!

What a handsome little man!

With the family dog, Lupo.

Happy Birthday, cheeky boy!

He’s had quite the busy year!

First day at school

Snow trip with the family

That smile!

He’s just too cute!

A good big brother: Here is Prince George with his sister, Princess Charlotte when she was just five weeks old.

The Duchess of Cambridge – who is an amature photographer – took these intimate snaps of her two beautiful children.

George is wearing Amaia Kids Blue France knee high socks with a Rachel Riley cotton shirt and baby blue shorts. Both are available as sets which sell for approximately $150 each.

So cute!

The first time we glimpsed tiny Prince George in his parents arms, he was already mastering the royal wave.

New mum, Kate, looked besotted with her husband and new son.

After the birth came Prince George’s first official portraits (complete with family dog Lupo!)

George didn’t look too impressed at his christening.

Before long he was crawling!

And walking!

A picture perfect family.

Made even more perfect by the addition of Princess Charlotte earlier this year.

Happy birthday to our little Prince George!

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Pippa Middleton to become a Lady when she marries James Matthews

Move over Duchess Catherine, there's another regal personage in the family!
Pippa Middleton

Her sister Catherine may be Duchess of Cambridge (and the future queen) but Pippa will be getting her own aristocratic title when she weds fiancé James Matthews.

According to a new report by Express.co.uk, as part of a family inheritance on James’ father’s side, Pippa will eventually become Lady Glen Affric!

The 32-year-old’s future father in law is David Matthews and holds the title of Laird of Glen Affric, as well as owning a 10,000-acre Scottish estate in the Scottish Highlands.

His 40-year-old son James, Pippa’s intended, will inherit the title when David passes, which will bestow the title of Lady on Pippa as his wife.

James’ dad owns a title in Scotland.

Pippa stepped out and couldn’t help flashing that ring!

Meanwhile the brunette’s joy at being engaged is still written all over her face.

The bride-to-be stepped out for a walk on Thursday and was beaming from ear to ear.

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Inquiries of vintage-inspired rings have spiked since the engagement.

She did a light spot of shopping and had her left hand placed in prime position for everyone to see her sparkling engagement ring.

Since the engagement announcement, many jewelers have said the inquiries about vintage style rings like Pippa’s had already soared.

Seems like her sister Kate isn’t the only one who can sell out an item just by wearing it!

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Robin Williams’ daughter Zelda Williams pays tribute to her dad on his birthday

The comedian and actor would have been 65 years old today.
Zelda Williams and Robin Williams

Robin Williams’ daughter Zelda Williams has paid tribute to her late father on what would have been his 65th birthday.

The 26-year-old took to social media to share an intimate family snap accompanied by a heartbreaking message.

“Still not really sure what to do on days like today… I know I can’t give you a present anymore, but I guess that means I’ll just have to keep giving them in your name instead,” she wrote.

Zelda has been getting much more involved in charity work since her father passed as a way to channel Robin’s generous spirit.

Zelda posted this throwback family photo alongside the tome she penned for Robin.

The world still misses Robin’s comedic genius.

She took his birthday as an opportunity to speak about the work she’s done.

“This year, I tried to help three causes you cared about in one; rescue dogs, people suffering from disabilities, and our nation’s wounded veterans, so I donated to freedomservicedogs.org,” she explained in the message aimed at her actor father.

Zelda talks about the heartache of losing her father and what she does to cope in the video below. Post continues.

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“They rescue pups from shelters and train them so that they can be paired with someone in dire need of their help and companionship,” she explained.

“Thought you’d get a kick out of furry, four legged friends helping change the world, one warrior in need at a time,” she penned.

Zelda was very close to her father.

She says she misses him “like crazy”.

“Happy birthday Poppo. Shasha, Zakky, Codeman and I all love you and miss you like crazy. Xo.”

She shared the heart-felt message alongside a gorgeous throwback family photo featuring Zelda and her siblings, Zachary and Cody, all hanging off the funnyman actor.

Relive the magic that was Robin Williams through his best film scenes below.

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