On the surface, the Facebook group ‘Blokes advice’ sounds harmless enough; a place where men can bond and share jokes. But within the everyday blokey banter, the group has a serious misogyny problem, and there is nothing harmless about that.
The ‘secret’ group (that everyone knows about) was created in Queensland in May this year and already has more than 200,000 members. But although fans of the group claim that it’s just a place to “talk Sh*t”, screen shots of posts about rape, revenge porn and violence against women have been exposed.
The group came to light when feminist writer Clementine Ford started sharing shocking screen grabs that had been sent to her.
We have decided not to post any more of the screen shots. However, here are a couple of the comments we’ve seen.
“If it weren’t for their vaginas, a —-, mouths and cooking and cleaning skills that they are born with’ then ‘there would be no need to the woman kind.”
“I personally feel dirty just being around those sausage wallets. They should be a rule they can’t come with in a meter radius of they aren’t performing sexual acts upon us.”
“I let a couple of my brothers and mates gangbang her. She cried. I won”
Other posts included photos of women captioned with graphic descriptions of rape, comments of men encouraging each other to send abusive messages to their ex-girlfriends and a barrage of the worst misogyny you can imagine.
And it is misogyny, the only explanation is that these men actually hate women.
Writing for News.com.au, Matthew Dunn says that the shocking screen grabs that have made the news are not a fair representation of the group. I’m happy to hear it; the thought of 200,000 women-hating men out there is a pretty terrifying thought.
Dunn also says that “boys will be boys”, while I get his point that we shouldn’t brand the entire group as sexist Neanderthals, I don’t think we can let them off the hook either. Perhaps not all the men in the group are posting misogynistic vitriol, but are they actively doing anything to stop it?
The worrying thing is that when this sort of misogyny starts seeping into our lives it starts to become normal. It adds to a culture in which it is ok to objectify women.
At the moment Australia has a significant problem with domestic violence, and until we start to fight everyday misogyny that problem isn’t going to go away.
Earlier this year, Diane Coleman chair of NSW’s men’s behaviour change network at BaptistCare told The Weekly Online that there is a clear link between domestic violence and the everyday “boys will be boys” philosophy.
“Most of the men in our culture are schooled to ‘man up’ – ‘don’t cry, don’t be aware of your feelings, never admit that you’re wrong. ‘take control’,” she said.
“We have to pull apart this idea of masculinity. We need a model of masculinity where men can be proud of themselves as men and totally committed to being respectful, no matter what.”
On the surface, Blokes advice is doing the polar opposite. We should all be outraged, angry, and terrified.
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
